Just Physical

by Jae

  Crash searched in her jeans pocket and handed her one. She was sniffling too. Groaning, she got up from the gravel that must have hurt her knees.

  Jill noisily blew her nose and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Ugh. She probably looked a sight, her face even redder and more puffy than before.

  But Crash regarded her as if she had never seen anything more beautiful in her life. “Better?” she asked.

  The tenderness in her voice made Jill’s eyes fill with renewed tears. Annoyed, she wiped them away and nodded. “Yeah.” She blew out a shaky breath and whispered, “You’re right. I thought I trusted you, but…I don’t think I really did. I didn’t trust myself to keep you interested if my health started to deteriorate. I mean, how could you still love me if I’m a useless—”

  Crash pressed a finger to her lips. “I know what word you’re thinking. Don’t say it. Don’t even think about yourself that way. You’re lovable, just the way you are, and that won’t change.”

  “Hollywood doesn’t seem to think so.”

  “Forget Hollywood. They’re a fickle bunch. But that’s not real life.”

  “It is, if you’re an actress. Besides, my parents treat me the same way.” She blew her nose again before stuffing the tissue into her pants pocket. Her eyes were still burning, and she wanted to avert her gaze, embarrassed by her unexpected breakdown, but she forced herself to look at Crash. She found no judgment in those blue eyes, so she continued. “If the same happened with you, I…” She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. “I couldn’t stand it.”

  Gently, Crash pulled her hands down and looked into her eyes. “It won’t. I didn’t just inherit my good looks from my parents, you know? They’ve been together for thirty-five years, and they’re still deeply in love. That’s what I want with you. So?” She rocked back on her heels. “Ready?”

  “To trust you? To commit to a relationship with you?” Jill swallowed. She clutched her knees with both hands and realized distractedly that she could feel that tight grip on her left side too.

  “For chocolate milk,” Crash said with a gentle smile and pointed at the bottle that was lying on the gravel, unharmed.

  The pressure on Jill’s chest eased. She laughed through renewed tears. God, that PMS in a bag was killing her. But maybe she should be grateful that the stuff had made it impossible to keep her emotions under wraps.

  “Ready,” she said. She sucked in a breath, held it for as long as she could, and then blurted out, “For all three.”

  The smile that spread over Crash’s face was all the reward Jill needed for gathering her courage. Some doubts still remained, but Crash was right—she had to trust her to make her own choices instead of deciding for them both. “Thank you for…for not giving up on me,” Jill said.

  Crash reached out and traced the tear tracks on Jill’s face with her thumb. “Never. Just don’t push me away again.”

  “I…I won’t.” Jill covered Crash’s hand with her own, cradling the warm palm against her cheek for several moments before letting go.

  When Crash held out her hand, she took it and allowed herself to be pulled up and helped inside.

  CHAPTER 24

  Crash carefully navigated backward, struggling not to lose her grip on the mattress as she and Lauren slowly made their way down the stairs with the unwieldy thing.

  “How did you get her to change her mind about moving the bedroom downstairs?” Lauren asked. “I know Grace tried, but Jill was her usual stubborn self and refused to even consider it.”

  “I didn’t,” Crash said. “She made that decision all by herself.”

  “Well, she has been sleeping on the couch for weeks. Maybe she was just sick of it and wanted something more comfortable.”

  Crash nodded and bit back a grin. The couch being uncomfortable wasn’t the problem, but it didn’t fit two people, and Jill had gotten sick of Crash having to help her up the stairs to the bedroom. At least they had held each other while they slept, even though Jill hadn’t been up for more while she recovered from her relapse.

  When she reached the bottom step, a warm, familiar body squeezed past her and tried to nudge her aside. “I can take it from here,” Jill said.

  Crash didn’t let go of the mattress. “I know you could.” She turned her head so that her mouth was next to Jill’s ear and whispered, “But now that we’ll finally be able to share the bed again without having to climb Mt. Everest a.k.a. the stairs first, don’t you think you should conserve your energy for more interesting things than lugging the mattress around?”

  Jill slumped against her for a moment as if her knees had weakened at Crash’s words. A noticeable shiver went through her body, then she moved away. “All right,” she said grudgingly. “I’ll take Tramp outside so he doesn’t get in the way and then get ready for my PT session with Jennifer, the slave driver.”

  Crash laughed at the affectionate nickname. While they slowly carried the mattress around the corner to the former office they were converting to a bedroom, Crash watched Jill retreat, glad to see her move so easily.

  After two weeks of being “brain dead” following the highly dosed steroid infusions and then three weeks of physical therapy, Jill had been able to abandon her “granny cane,” as she called it. She still used a lightweight folding cane when she left the house, but that was more for added security than because she couldn’t walk without.

  “Wow,” Lauren said, nodding toward Jill. “I never thought I’d see the day when Jill accepted help without a major battle first. Too bad Grace isn’t here to see it.”

  “It’s still hard for her, but she’s trying.” It was an ongoing process—for both of them. Crash struggled not to help her too often and to avoid taking over tasks that Jill could do herself, and Jill was learning not to shut her out and to accept help whenever she needed it.

  A phone started to ring in the living room just as they slid the mattress onto the bed frame.

  Crash patted her pockets to see if it might be hers.

  “It’s mine,” Jill called from the living room. Then her voice drifted over as she talked to someone on the phone.

  “Do you need help with anything else?” Lauren asked.

  Crash shook her head. “That’s okay. I know you have to pick up Grace from the airport. TJ, Amanda, and Michelle will come over tomorrow and help us bring down the bedside tables and the dresser. The rest is just some decorative touches. Jill and I can do that easily.” The Jill and I made her grin. She loved saying that; the newness still hadn’t worn off.

  When Jill appeared in the doorway, Lauren gave her a hug.

  “I have to go,” Lauren said. “I don’t want to be late and make Grace wait.” The usually composed woman was nearly bouncing with excitement. Apparently, the newness hadn’t worn off for her either, even after being with Grace for more than a year. With a wave at Crash, she was gone.

  Jill walked over, and they stood looking at the new bedroom, their shoulders touching lightly.

  “Who was that on the phone?” Crash asked after a while.

  “The clinic,” Jill said. “Jen’s got a family emergency and none of the other PTs are free either, so they had to reschedule my PT session.”

  Crash turned to face her fully, a smile curling up her lips. “Ooh. So does that mean we get to spend the afternoon together—alone?” Since she had started doing stunts for Engine 27 two weeks ago, that had rarely happened.

  Jill returned the smile. Her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight streaming through the window. “Looks like it. No stunts, no PT, no doctor’s appointments, no MS support group. Whatever will we do to pass the time?”

  “Well, let’s see…” Crash pretended to think about it. “I seem to remember a certain someone owing me a rain check.”

  Jill shook her head, making her red hair—now back in a cute pixie-style cut—fly. “Nope. You already
cashed that in when you asked me that question, remember?”

  Crash would never forget that day five weeks ago. Seeing Jill break down and cry had been hard for her too. “I’m not talking about that rain check. You gave me another one when you took a little nap at a time that…well, let’s just say it wasn’t quite ideal for it.”

  “Oh.” Jill’s cheeks flushed a bright pink.

  “Hey. I was just teasing you.” Crash trailed her fingertips over one of the rosy cheeks. “You know that, don’t you? Besides, I already cashed in that particular rain check.”

  A challenging gleam entered Jill’s gaze. “Well, maybe it was a two-for-one rain check. Too bad you were only teasing, because I’m in the mood to get better acquainted with my new bedroom.” She shrugged and prepared to walk away.

  “Not so fast!” Crash grabbed her by the wrist and then hesitated. Don’t treat her like she’s fragile. Treat her like the desirable woman she is. She gave Jill a little push, making her fall onto the still-bare mattress, and landed on top of her. Before they stopped bouncing on the mattress, she started covering Jill’s neck with kisses, little nips, and playful licks.

  A low moan escaped Jill, and she buried her fingers in Crash’s short hair, pulling her closer.

  God, she tasted so good. Crash wanted to kiss her all over and caress every inch of her—and then, once Jill came, do it all over again. Impatient to feel more of her skin, she sat up, straddling Jill, and dragged Jill’s T-shirt up and over her head, revealing a simple white bra.

  Cotton had never looked so sexy on any other woman.

  Crash cupped both of Jill’s breasts through the soft material and swayed a little at how good they felt in her hands. As nice as the bra was, it had to go. She bent her head to kiss Jill’s upper chest and then urged her to sit up so she could unhook the closure. Once it opened, she slid the bra down Jill’s shoulders, following its path with eager kisses. Her gaze trailed down Jill’s half-naked body, lingered on her full breasts, and then wandered lower, to the pleasing curve of her belly. “There’s so much I want to do to you right now.”

  “Yeah?” Jill’s voice sounded breathless. “Like what?”

  “Like kiss you.” She did it, teasingly flicking her tongue over Jill’s top lip, then the bottom one before slowly sliding it into her mouth.

  Moaning, Jill dug her fingers into Crash’s shoulders and returned the kiss. Finally, Jill tore her mouth away. “What else?” she rasped.

  “Lick you.” Crash swirled her tongue down the column of Jill’s throat. “All over.”

  Jill shivered against her. Her voice sounded even more breathless when she asked, “Aaand?”

  Crash slid off to the side and trailed her right hand down, over the sexy curve of Jill’s hip, then pushed beneath the waistband of the sweatpants Jill wore. “Take you,” Crash whispered into her ear.

  A sense of urgency gripped her, but she forced herself to go slow. This wasn’t the first time she’d been with Jill—not even the second or the third—but she sensed that this time was different, different even than that time in her studio apartment, right before the relapse. This time, neither of them was holding anything back.

  Judging by Jill’s moans, Crash’s fingers, slightly callused from her stunt work, provided just the right amount of friction as she trailed them over the baby-soft skin of Jill’s inner thigh.

  A quiver went through Jill’s body, and she strained upward.

  Crash echoed her groan as her fingertips found Jill’s panties already damp. She started stroking her through the soaked fabric.

  Jill’s hips undulated against her, then she stopped all movement with noticeable effort. “Hmm, kissing…licking…taking. I like that plan. But there’s one problem with it,” she got out.

  Crash was quickly losing interest in any kind of conversation. “What’s that?”

  “That rain ch—God!” Jill threw her head back as Crash dipped one finger beneath the elastic leg band of her panties. She pressed her hand on top of Crash’s, stopping her. “That rain check is good for me giving you an orgasm, not the other way around.”

  “At least one,” Crash repeated what they had said on the morning Jill had given her the rain check. She ducked her head to gently nip Jill’s earlobe. The feel of Jill, hot and wet against her hand, nearly drove her insane. “And I don’t mind sharing.”

  “Good,” Jill said with a roguish grin. “Then I hope you won’t mind sharing the top position either.” She hooked one leg around Crash and pushed against her shoulder.

  With only slight hesitation, Crash let herself be rolled onto her back. The move dislodged her hand from beneath Jill’s sweatpants, and Crash groaned at the loss of contact.

  Jill pressed their lips together, swallowing the sound and making Crash forget everything else.

  The erotic slide of Crash’s tongue against her own made Jill’s head spin with desire. She wrenched their mouths apart only long enough to pull Crash’s T-shirt over her head, then her lips were back on Crash’s.

  When the kiss ended, she was panting. She traced Crash’s strong jaw and then her sensuous lips with her fingertips and gazed down at her in wonder. “You might just be the best kisser I’ve ever encountered.”

  “Might?” Crash repeated with that daredevil gleam in her eyes that she sometimes got just before doing a challenging stunt. She kissed Jill again, teasing her with sensuous licks and playful nips.

  “Are,” Jill whispered against her lips. “You definitely are the best kisser.”

  With a satisfied hum, Crash started trailing kisses down Jill’s neck.

  Goose bumps spread all over Jill’s body. She had to struggle to speak. “Well,” she said and winked at Crash, “except for me, of course.”

  Crash laughed. “Of course.” Then her lips were back on Jill’s skin.

  Gentle sucking just below her ear nearly made Jill’s bones liquefy. She forced her protesting limbs to push back, out of reach of Crash’s talented mouth. If she let Crash do whatever she wanted—what they both wanted—she had a feeling she would end up unable to move, possibly even falling asleep again. Oh, no. Not again. Not today.

  Lying half on top of Crash, half next to her, she started to explore. Even though she had been with Crash several times before, her memory didn’t live up to how amazing Crash’s body really was. She trailed her fingertips over the dip below her triceps, then around to the gentle bulge of her biceps, and finally up her strong shoulders. She’d never cared much for muscles on women, but on Crash, she found them incredibly sexy.

  Crash quivered beneath her touch but otherwise lay completely still and let Jill do whatever she wanted.

  That in itself was a huge turn-on.

  When Jill reached Crash’s chest, just touching her was no longer enough, so she added her lips to the exploration. Pausing for a second, she pulled the sports bra up and over Crash’s head and threw it onto the pile of clothing on the floor. Then her mouth was back on Crash’s body.

  She nuzzled the spot at the base of Crash’s throat, inhaling her scent before sliding lower. Crash’s heartbeat thrummed beneath her lips, echoing the hasty rhythm of Jill’s own heart. She cupped one of Crash’s breasts in her hand and kissed it in a wide circle. It was smaller than her own but so incredibly responsive. The nipple tightened before she even touched it.

  Crash’s hands slid up and into Jill’s hair, trying to direct her.

  “Patience,” Jill whispered against her breast. “I’ll get there.”

  “Not fast enough.”

  Jill looked up and into Crash’s eyes. The blue irises were reduced to thin rings around passion-dilated pupils. “You want fast?”

  “I want you,” Crash answered without hesitation.

  Jill tried to chase away the sudden tightness in her throat by lowering her head the rest of the way and taking Crash’s nipple into her mouth. She caress
ed it with her flattened tongue, keeping the strokes light at first.

  The fingers in her hair tightened, and Crash’s free hand slid beneath the sweatpants to clutch Jill’s ass.

  A moan escaped Jill, vibrating against Crash’s nipple. She started sucking on the hardened tip until Crash arched up. Their bodies pressed against each other, reminding Jill that there were still barriers between them—barriers she needed gone. Now.

  Without letting go of Crash’s nipple, she slid her hands down her sexy body, unbuckled the leather belt, and pulled it free. Next, she fought to open the button fly of Crash’s jeans, but the buttons refused to budge. Never had she hated buttons as much as she did right now. She took her mouth off Crash’s breast to mumble a curse.

  “What’s wrong?” Crash peered up at her with flushed cheeks.

  “Buttons,” Jill gasped out.

  Crash covered Jill’s hands with her own and squeezed softly. She lifted one of Jill’s hands to her mouth and tenderly kissed each finger before letting go. “Take off yours, and I’ll take off mine.”

  Jill bit her lip, for a moment annoyed that she couldn’t even undress her lover, but then she shook it off. Come on. Don’t spoil it with your stupid pride. It didn’t matter who opened the damn buttons as long as they were gone—preferably within the next five seconds.

  She sat up and dragged her sweatpants down her legs along with her panties, her gaze fixed on Crash’s strong fingers and the buttons, which were being undone with an aching slowness. Crash’s fingertips circled the last button in a teasing caress.

  Jill held her breath in expectation. As soon as the button slipped free, she grabbed the legs of Crash’s pants and pulled.

  Crash lifted her hips off the bed, willingly letting herself be undressed.

  They repeated the maneuver with Crash’s boy-cut panties.

  For a moment, Jill knelt above her and drank in Crash’s body before the urge to touch overwhelmed her and she was back in Crash’s arms.

  The slide of their bodies against each other, skin on skin, sent a thrill through Jill. Their hearts beat wildly, so close that she couldn’t tell which was hers and which was Crash’s. Nothing had ever felt like this before. She just lay there, soaking up the feeling, until she couldn’t stay still for even a second longer. Her thigh drifted between Crash’s, and the wetness against her skin made her moan.