Everything to Lose

by Danielle Girard

  Chapter 15

  “It’s been great seeing him on the baseball field. He’s such a good player,” added Mrs. Wilmington at the end of the conference. “I know he did track in the fall, but he clearly loves baseball.”

  “He really does,” Tony agreed.

  “Well, then, I’ll see you both at the game tomorrow night.”

  “We’ll be there,” Tony assured her.

  Jamie winced. The game tomorrow night. She’d already missed two.

  She and Tony made their way outside. The weather had warmed up and the sun was bright above the blue-gray buildings. On the front of each building was the school crest and the department, set into stone like something out of ancient Rome.

  Mathematics said the one they headed toward. Language Arts was where they’d met Z’s teacher. It was an unreal place, City Academy. Not only the impressive stone buildings and the sculptures set regally around the campus, but the perfectly kept lawn, the rows of white lilies and daffodils that edged the landscape. Jamie had never seen an Ivy League school, but she imagined that this was what they looked like. She’d half expected the teachers to wear robes, but Mrs. Wilmington dressed in colored slacks and tops, ensembles Jamie would never have been brave enough to put together. At a weekend event in the fall, Mrs. Wilmington had worn a pair of bright green Chuck Taylors.

  “An A,” Tony said.

  “What?” Jamie asked.

  “He’s got an actual A.”

  “In Spanish.”

  “He’s really pulling it together. I’m proud of him.” Tony nudged her when she didn’t answer.

  “What?”

  “Aren’t you proud of him?”

  “I am. Definitely.”

  Tony put an arm around her and gave her a quick squeeze. “We’ve done some things right, you and me.”

  “We have.” Jamie thought again about Tony’s move to Ohio. She was afraid to bring up Ohio at all.

  The baseball field came into view. City Academy had built a new complex three years before with money from a single donor. Not only the diamond itself, but also bleachers to hold several hundred fans and two boxes to hold up to thirty in case of inclement weather. It was a mini AT&T Park. All from a single guy. That had to have been a hefty price tag.

  “You picking up Z?”

  “He’s supposed to be done at 4:30. Fifteen minutes.”

  “You want company?”

  “No,” she said. “Thanks, though. You want to go on home, I’ll meet you there.”

  “I’ve a meeting at 7:00 tonight. I’m sure I put it on the calendar.”

  “Oh, right. I remember now,” Jamie lied. She never remembered to check that damn calendar. “That’s no problem. Maybe Z and I will go out for pizza or something.”

  Tony reached out as though to hug her. Jamie froze. Instead, he patted her shoulder. “I should be home by 9:30.”

  “Okay.”

  Tony hesitated.

  “Bye,” she said quickly and began walking toward the diamond. The shift in Tony was unsettling. She blew out her breath. Or maybe he, too, was nostalgic about leaving. They’d lived together five years. They were family and neither of them had anyone else. Their mothers had died when they were kids. Tony’s brother, Mick, was killed in a factory fire. He had gone in after Tony when the ceiling collapsed, sacrificing himself for his baby brother. Their father died a week later.

  Her own father passed seven years before. A middle of the night call that he’d suffered a massive heart attack. Tony had offered to go, but she’d flown to New York alone, sat in the hospital room with her dying father.

  He woke only once while she sat beside him those four days. When his eyes opened, she was shocked by their hazy gray appearance. What she’d remembered was almost brilliant blue. In those minutes, her father squeezed her hand, lips lifting into a smile before he called her by her mother’s name. He died the next morning.

  Jamie entered the complex and took a seat on the end of one of the bleachers. She crossed her arms and watched Z, who was warming up to bat. He slid the metal donut onto the bat and swung it lightly through the air while another boy batted. Z was the only freshman on the team, but the boy on the plate looked to be at least a year younger than Z.

  “Mrs. De—”

  Jamie turned.

  The coach jogged up the cement stairs to stand beside her. Bouncing on his toes, he snapped his fingers a couple of times then pointed to her. “Vail. Ms. Vail. I always forget that one.”

  “Yes,” she responded as Z walked toward home plate.

  “I’m Kevin Kushner,” he said, pointing to the baseball field. “I’m Zephenaya’s—”

  “Coach,” she finished for him.

  “I left a message for you at your office earlier.”

  “I didn’t get it,” Jamie said.

  Coach Kushner licked his lips, rocking on his toes. “Oh—”

  “Sit down,” she said.

  The coach looked a bit startled before climbing over the row of seats to sit down beside her.

  “What’s going on, Coach?”

  “Zephenaya was late for practice today.”

  Jamie focused on Kushner.

  “Yesterday, he left early.”

  Again, she said nothing.

  “There’ve been a few of those lately, which is unusual for him. He’s never missed any practice time before. He said it was a family emergency…” Kushner went silent.

  Jamie eyed her son on the field. Z hadn’t said anything about missing any part of practice. He was late coming home last night. If he’d left practice early, where did he go?

  “Sometimes it helps if I understand the situation at home,” Kushner continued. “That way I can be sensitive to what the player might be going through.”

  “I appreciate the concern,” Jamie said. “I think everything’s settled.” She closed her lips, refusing to say another word. On the field, Z stood on first base, staring up at them.

  “I wasn’t sure if he’d gone over to General to see Charlotte.”

  A tightness in her chest. Z didn’t know Charlotte. Did he?

  “Some of the kids have been visiting her,” Kushner added. “A few of the boys were out for that today.”

  “Z won’t be missing any more practice.” She pulled her badge from her pocket and slid a business card out from the pocket behind it. “My cell phone number’s there. Call me anytime.”

  “Great. I’m glad to hear it. We’ve got him on the starting roster for tomorrow’s game. Will you be able to come?”

  “Definitely,” she said. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

  Kushner rose from his seat and started back toward the field as a ball was hit into the outfield. Without waiting for the play, Z ran toward second base. The left outfielder caught it on the fly as Z closed in on second. He was slow to turn back. The ball got there first, and the baseman touched the base. He swung his hand through the air in frustration and hustled off the field. He didn’t meet Jamie’s gaze, but she didn’t take her eyes off him.

  She couldn’t imagine that he would have gone to see Charlotte. Did they know each other? What else was Z hiding from her? She hoped to hell that no one else was considering Z’s relationship with Charlotte. What was he doing today? And why would he have left practice early yesterday? And what sort of family emergency was he talking about? And what family? It couldn’t be that.

  Zephenaya hadn’t seen his father in five years.

  God, she hoped it wasn’t that.

  “Dr. Steckler, good to see you,” the coach said as Travis Steckler walked into the bleachers.

  The two men shook hands. Maybe Steckler was the anonymous donor who had built the stadium. She scanned the boys on the field for one who looked like the doctor. He’d mentioned a daughter.

  “Inspector Vail,” the doctor said, coming up the stairs. “You getting a feel for City Academy.”

  “Her son is Zephenaya,” Coach Kushner said. “Our first varsity freshman.”

  Stec
kler glanced between Jamie and Z. “Aren’t I a horse’s ass?” he said. “How did I not put that together?”

  “You mean because the family resemblance is so strong,” Jamie said.

  The coach laughed and walked away. Travis Steckler sat down beside her. “You’re Zephenaya’s mother.”

  “I am.”

  “So, you were here for the conferences?”

  “Right again,” she said.

  The coach blew a whistle. “That’s it. Bring it in,” Kushner shouted, and the boys started off the field.

  “Z! Come right out. We’ve got to go,” Jamie yelled as he disappeared into the locker room.

  “If it’s anything like my house, that will be an hour,” Steckler said.

  “You have a son out there?”

  “Just a daughter for me,” Steckler said.

  “I assume she doesn’t play baseball.”

  “No. I come out to watch them while she’s in choir. I played in school. Still love it,” Steckler admitted. “Guess it’s time to get going though.”

  Jamie started down the bleachers.

  Travis Steckler followed. “Will I see you at tomorrow night’s game?”

  “I’m coming to watch Z, yes.”

  “Good. I’ll save you a seat,” he said, giving the back of her arm a gentle squeeze.

  Before she could respond, Steckler vaulted over the bleacher stairs and bounded out of the stadium toward a group of girls walking across the grass. One, a small blonde, waved at Steckler. “How’s the team looking?” she called out.

  “Great.”

  She shook her head the way teenagers did at their parents. As the two came together, Steckler put his arm around his daughter. He leaned in and spoke to her. It was easy to see she adored him.

  Z emerged from the locker room. Water dripped in a steady stream off his head. He was wearing his Adidas sports slippers with tall red and blue basketball socks. At least he’d been quick. “What were you and Coach talking about?”

  “Family emergencies,” she answered.

  Z was silent as they walked toward the path.

  “He said you were late to practice today.”

  “I was talking to Mr. Pike.”

  Jamie raised her eyebrow.

  “My math teacher,” he said.

  “He also said you left early yesterday.”

  “Like ten minutes or something,” Z said.

  “Ten minutes early? Why?”

  He wouldn’t look at her, but instead focused on Steckler and his daughter talking to the other girls.

  “Z,” she said, trying to draw his attention back to her. “We’re going to talk about this in the car. I am not putting up with lies.”

  He said nothing.

  They walked along the path. There was no way to avoid Steckler’s group without being rude.

  Amanda turned to Z as they approached. “Hi, Z.”

  “Hey,” he responded, staring at his feet.

  What a charmer. Like mother, like son.

  Moving as one unit, the group started toward the car. The wind had stilled and, beyond the chatter of the girls, traffic hummed from the road below the school. It was quiet. Somehow the trees around the school—pine, cypress, eucalyptus, and a few huge magnolias—created a barrier so the school felt more like a camp.

  It was a nice break. Just then, a tinny pop and a long low hiss like a propane flame catching fire interrupted the silence. Jamie threw up her hands. “Stop.” A car peeled out of the parking lot, a flash of it visible through a cluster of trees as it passed. Jamie got a fleeting look. The light was fading but she thought it was dark and small, some sort of sedan.

  “What is it?” Travis asked.

  “Shh,” she whispered. The girls began talking.

  “Quiet,” Travis repeated and they silenced.

  Jamie moved two steps to the right, and saw the whirl of smoke, then several sparks.

  “Everyone down!” She launched herself at Z, catching him off guard. Steckler huddled over the girls. They dropped to the ground moments before the deafening roar. A car was tossed ten or fifteen feet in the air. Something stung her forehead.

  Debris showered down around them.

  Jamie pulled her phone out and dialed 9-1-1 as smoke filled the air and made everything beyond it vanish.

  “This is Jamie Vail,” she shouted, her own ears ringing. “I’m at City Academy. There’s been some kind of explosion. A bomb maybe.”

  Steckler was on his hands and knees, checking the girls who were slowly sitting up in the grass. Two of them were crying. Jamie waited while Dispatch gave her an estimated wait time, but already, the sirens were audible in the distance.

  “That was a bomb?” Steckler asked.

  “I’m not positive.”

  His eyes were wide.

  “But maybe.”

  Z blinked hard and stood up slowly. He crossed to the girls and offered them a hand. “I think it’s over.”

  Jamie touched the tenderness in her ears.

  Swiped her face.

  Blood on her hand.

  She wiped it on the grass. “You all stay here,” she instructed and started for the parking lot as the sirens grew closer. She felt a presence behind her and expected Z. Instead, it was Travis Steckler.

  “Dr. Steckler, you should stay back.”

  “I’m not letting you go out there alone,” he said.

  “I’m a police officer.”

  “An inspector, not the bomb squad.”

  She cast him a sideways glance, but he didn’t stop moving. His shirt had come untucked, and there were grass stains on the knees of his slacks. His hair was disheveled and still he looked good.

  Jamie reached the parking lot as the fire truck pulled in. Steckler halted beside her. “Christ.”

  A car was upside down in the center of the lot. Smoke poured out from the underside. “Your car.”

  Steckler pulled his hand through his hair. “Was that a bomb? On my car?”

  Jamie stepped forward and flashed her badge at the fireman who came off the truck first. “It looked like it was a bomb, but it wasn’t necessarily on the car. Might have been under it.”

  “Why my car?”

  That she couldn’t answer.

  The fireman shouted back to his crew. There was a flurry of activity as two men pulled the hose off its wheel, and another attached it to a hydrant.

  Two firemen held the powerful blast on Travis Steckler’s Lexus until the smoke had dissipated.

  Travis started toward it, but Jamie grabbed his arm. “You can’t.”

  He looked back at her, then to the car again.

  “They’ll want to make sure it’s clear.”

  His mouth dropped open. “Like, another bomb?”

  She nodded.

  He reached for her forehead. Instinctively, she drew herself back. “You’re bleeding,” he said.

  “I’m fine,” she told him. “Go get Amanda. I’ll get you guys a ride home.”

  “Inspector,” one of the firemen called out to her. He pointed to something beyond her own car. From under the bumper, she spotted feet and legs. A man lay facedown not two feet from her car. The ambulance screeched to a halt five feet away, but Jamie couldn’t wait. Pulling her shirtsleeves down over her hands to avoid contamination, she reached down to roll the man over. She was afraid of what she would find. When he fell onto his back, though, it took her breath away. There was so much Zephenaya in Michael Delman’s face.

  “Oh, shit.”

  Jamie rose and spun toward Z’s voice.

  He reached for her and she caught him as he leaned into her. Pressed himself against her like he had when he’d had bad dreams as a ten-year-old. “Oh, God. That’s my dad, isn’t it?”

  Jamie tried to pull him away from the body, but he didn’t move. He stared at the dead man. Not willing to fight with him, Jamie held her grown son tight.

  “Is he dead?”

  “Yes,” said the paramedic who crouched beside Delman,
fingers pressed into his neck.

  Z started to cry, heavy sobs that made holding him more difficult. “Oh, God. Why would someone kill him?” Z glanced around the school parking lot. “Why was he here?” In his face, she saw the frightened young boy he was five years ago.

  “I don’t know,” she said.

  He tucked his face against her shoulder, and she held him tight and rubbed his head. The mother pain was back, sharp in her chest. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so, so sorry.”

  “I don’t understand. Why was he even here? Why did he keep coming?”

  Her breathing halted. Z had seen his father recently. At this school where the children were protected from everything real on the outside, Z’s worst nightmare had walked in. “Z, we have to talk about him. I need to know about him being here.”

  “Not now, okay? Please not now.”

  “Not now,” she agreed. She put her arm around him and again tried to lead him away from Delman’s body.

  Z clung harder. “I don’t want to leave you, Jamie. Please. Please don’t make me leave.”

  “Never. I swear to you, Zephenaya. You never have to leave. I’m your mother. I will always be your mother.”

  There was a short break in the sobs as he exhaled in a hard, fast breath. She held him as tightly as she could, her son. She would not let go. Not ever.

  Chapter 16

  Annabelle Schwartzman arrived at City Academy as Hailey Wyatt and Hal Harris were getting out of their department car. It was after 5:00, and Schwartzman was happy to be out of the morgue. The evening was cool, brisk, so unlike the South. Evenings in Seattle, where she’d gone to finish medical school, were like this. When it didn’t rain. The cool air always made her breaths seem deeper, the air charged with an energy that made her feel both more alive and more on edge.

  Hailey had gone ahead but Hal was by his car, facing her direction. She forced herself toward him.

  “How’s it going?” he asked. He had an easy smile that made him seem kind and gentle despite his giant size. Or that was how she felt now that she was accustomed to his size.

  “Good, thanks. How about you?” They walked toward the scene.

  She had been in the office for meetings today and was wearing heels a bit higher than usual, but Hal walked at a long, slow gait so that keeping up with him was easier than she’d expected.