Love Me Always

by Marie Higgins

  She wasn’t looking forward to traveling with Nick, and just the thought made her palms moisten. She couldn’t stand his angry looks and the mean words accompanying his moods. Then again, she didn’t like how her heart pounded when he was nice and smiled at her.

  Emily dressed Catherine in a baby blue day dress trimmed with white satin, with short bell-shaped sleeves. The round neckline of the bodice was proper enough, and the material didn’t fit snugly against her middle like some of her other dresses had. She hoped her attire was elegant enough, especially when she added the white lace shawl and gloves. She also snatched the matching white bonnet to put on later. She wore her hair down and curly today, just pulling the sides away from her face, pinning them with pearl studded combs.

  “Miss Catherine,” Emily said, “you’re looking very lovely today. I wish I could go with you and be the one to fight off the men who I’m certain will flock to your side.”

  Catherine chuckled. “I wish you were going also, but this afternoon will give me more time to get to know Miss Gertrude.”

  “Yes, it will. I think Mrs. Berkley wanted to go, but she’s so stiff and sore this morning.”

  Catherine dared not laugh out loud. “I feel awful for making her chase after me while I raced with Gregg and Ian. I had forgotten Mrs. Berkley wasn’t a horsewoman.”

  Emily stood back and grinned. “There you go again, Miss Catherine, fretting about Mrs. Berkley when you should forget her and have a pleasant trip. The old woman will recover, I assure you, and be the same pompous thorn in my side she’s always been.”

  “Oh, Emily. You’re just horrid.” Catherine laughed. “Nonetheless, thank you. I plan on making this day memorable.” And she did, even if it meant ignoring Nick the whole time.

  When she strolled into the breakfast room, only Gregg and Ian were seated at the table. Nick’s not here. She sighed with relief.

  “Good morning, Catherine.” The brothers stood with cheerful smiles.

  She smiled. “Good morning.”

  Gregg moved around and pulled out the chair for her. “What would you like to eat this morning?” he asked.

  “Well, I’m really not very hungry, so maybe just a small bowl of oatmeal.”

  Gregg signaled to one of the kitchen servants, and the maid hurried away to fetch Catherine a plate.

  “How did you sleep last night?” Ian inquired.

  “I slept well, but—” She paused, then hesitantly asked, “Did either of you take me to my room last night? I fell asleep in the chair while I was with your uncle, but I don’t remember going to my room.”

  Gregg shook his head.

  “It wasn’t us. We were out late,” Ian explained.

  “Perhaps it was Nick,” Gregg suggested.

  “Yes, perhaps.” She wanted to laugh at the mere idea of Nick helping her – not when he was so upset at her.

  As she ate, she focused on Gregg and Ian’s discussion about their evening last night, which sounded to be quite entertaining.

  “Lord Douglas had been cheating the whole time. Did you notice?” Ian spat.

  “Indeed, but what I found intriguing was that he still couldn’t win a decent hand. I think the several drinks he had made his mind too fuzzy to figure out how to cheat correctly.”

  She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Gregg and Ian were gamblers? Did they know what terrible vices these were? Her grandfather’s sermons taught her how gambling and alcohol could ruin someone. “Is there a right way to cheat,” she asked, if only to be part of their conversation.

  Gregg flipped his hand in the air. “Not that I would know, mind you, but yes there is.”

  “And what about Lord Lockton?” Ian continued. “The arrogant man boasted the whole night about all the gaming tables he’d visited.” Ian shook his head.

  “Tell me,” Catherine cut in, wondering if she should throw out a few of her grandfather’s sermons, “how did your game go last evening?”

  Ian scowled while Gregg laughed. “Ian tried to win, but he couldn’t let go of his losing streak.”

  “What about you, Gregg?” she asked. “How did you do at the gaming table?”

  His broad grin stretched across his handsome face. “So much better than my brother.” He laughed then leaned forward. “During one hand, Lockton had bet a lot of money. Most of us who’d played with him before knew he likes to bluff, but the cards on the table hinted he might have a good hand. However,” he straightened, puffing his chest out, “I had three of a kind.”

  She shrugged. “Is that better than what he had?”

  “Indeed, because I had three Ace’s. He looked to have a small straight, but they were in the suit I had, so I doubted he had the winning card.”

  The story grew more interesting, and she forgot her grandfather’s sermon she’d been ready to throw at him. Resting her elbows on the table, she scooted forward. “Then what happened?”

  “Well, Ian finally folded, as did the other two men. Now it was between Lockton and myself. As I studied his expression, I had the gut feeling he didn’t have the card that would win him a small straight, which meant a three of a kind would beat that.”

  Snorting, Ian pushed his fingers through his sandy blond hair and shook his head. “Actually, Gregg is being arrogant now, more so than Lockton was last night.”

  Gregg passed his brother a nonchalant shrug. “You are just jealous.” Catherine laughed as Gregg turned his attention back to her. “Anyway, back to the story.” He grinned. “I finally called, eager to see what Lockton held. I could see he wasn’t too happy, although tried to hide it. I had a feeling I’d won the large pot. So—”

  “Boys, I’m certain your conversation is something that should not be discussed in front of a lady,” Nick snapped as he strolled in the dining room.

  Gregg shut his mouth, and shot daggers at his brother through a narrowed gaze. All Ian did was chuckle.

  Disappointment washed over Catherine and she frowned. The story Gregg related sounded intriguing, and she wanted to hear the end. Did Gregg win after all? Then again, she should have remembered her religious teachings. There was a reason gambling was a sin. No wonder temptation had grasped hold of Gregg and Ian. Look what it had just done to her for only few minutes.

  The corner of Nick’s lip tugged upward, and she thought he would laugh. Instead, he straightened as a scowl returned to his face.

  “Are you ready to go, Catherine?”

  “Yes.” She finished drinking her tea then stood.

  “Have an enjoyable time, Catherine,” the brothers chimed as she walked out of the dining room with Nick. Miss Gertrude descended the stairs, tying the bright green ribbons of her bonnet under her chin. Catherine also donned her white bonnet.

  “Oh, Nick, I so enjoy an outing with you.” She reached Catherine and patted her hands. “And getting to know our Catherine a little better, of course.”

  Catherine smiled, until she met Nick’s scowl. Her heart sank. This was going to be one very long ride.

  Chapter Seven

  Catherine refused to meet Nick’s eyes as he took her cold hand and assisted her in the waiting coach along the drive. She didn’t want to converse with him when he acted this way. Hopefully Miss Gertrude’s company would be more enjoyable. Nick had assisted his aunt inside then climbed inside to sit across from Catherine. After tapping on the roof of the vehicle, it lurched forward.

  Miss Gertrude’s idle chatter hummed with the rhythm of the carriage wheels. Catherine, lifting her gaze from the passing scenery, noticed Nick had been staring out of the window as well. The older woman seemed satisfied just to blabber without hearing anything from the other two in the vehicle. Every so often, Catherine glanced at Nick then quickly turned away. Unfortunately, his handsome appearance kept drawing her attention back.

  Wearing a deep green jacket with a black waistcoat, and his usual white silk blouse and black trousers, he appeared exceptionally dressed. It must have been the color from his jacket that made his eyes so d
reamy, or was it the shadows inside the coach? It didn’t matter. It was hard to keep her eyes off him.

  Catherine really didn’t want to talk, but she couldn’t see going all the way to town without speaking to him. How could she forget the way he treated her yesterday or the glares he gave her last night? Maybe she would be able to make him believe she didn’t purposely try to hurt his uncle but she highly doubted it. Nick had judged her harshly, and she was determined to prove him wrong.

  When Gertrude ended a topic, Catherine cleared her throat. His gaze swung and met hers.

  “Nick,” she began nicely, “what will you do while Miss Gertrude and I are shopping?”

  He kept a solemn expression. “I’ll probably spend most of the day at my office.”

  “What?” Gertrude leaned her head closer to Nick, cupping her ear.

  He repeated what he’d said, raising his voice.

  “You have an office in London?” Catherine asked, lifting her voice for Aunt Gertrude’s sake.

  “Yes.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I own a couple of ships, and we are in the process of building another.”

  “Indeed? How amazing.”

  He grinned. “Why do you find it so amazing?”

  She shrugged. “All I have heard about titled families is they do nothing but attend balls and gamble all the time. I was told all their money comes from wealthy inheritances.”

  Gertrude snorted a laugh, then quickly brought her gloved hand to her mouth.

  Nick chuckled. “That might be the way it is in most families, but the Fielding men have always had a head for business, except my brothers have yet to find their lot in life. My father may not have owned ships, but he has several businesses all over the states. I have built my own shipping business in the past three years and taken over what my father had established when he was alive.”

  Catherine cleared her throat and said loudly, “I’m relieved to know that the Fielding men are hard working.”

  “Indeed we are, and we have been doing that for many years, going back at least six generations.”

  “That is astonishing.”

  He was silent again as he turned his attentions out the window. He may not want to talk, but she wasn’t about to ride all the way hearing only Gertrude’s voice.

  “Um, I was wondering—” She paused, not knowing how to ask the awkward question.

  He looked back at her. “Yes?”

  “Well, about last night. Did you…carry me to my bedroom after I had fallen asleep?”

  Gertrude leaned toward Catherine. “What’s that my dear?”

  She fisted her hands underneath the folds of her skirt, not wanting to repeat it, but knowing she must. Once she did, Gertrude’s head snapped toward Nick, her mouth agape as color bloomed in the older woman’s cheeks. Catherine realized now that perhaps she shouldn’t have asked that question. After all...it was scandalous for Nick to do such a thing.

  His face hardened. “Yes, I did. As much as I thought against it, I could not see you sleeping in the chair and waking up stiff and sore. Besides, my uncle would have been disappointed in me if I had not taken you back to your bed chamber.”

  Gertrude let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, what a sweet boy you are. I’m sure Grant would have been proud of you.”

  Catherine couldn’t believe Gertrude’s response. Why wasn’t the older woman lecturing them on the proper decorum and about creating a scandal? The older woman acted as if what Nick did was something noble. “I agree, Miss Gertrude, that was very considerate.” She held his gaze now. “I appreciate your kindness,” she ended softer.

  “You are most welcome,” he snapped. “Like I mentioned before, if my uncle had been awake, he would have wanted me to take you back to your room, anyway.”

  “Do you always do everything your uncle asks?”

  His eyes were wide when they met hers this time. “Of course. Why would you ask such a question?”

  She shrugged. “I just noticed you are extremely loyal. He always asks you to do things, yet he doesn’t ask your brothers. Why is that?”

  “Because I’m the eldest. I’m the one who will inherit the dukedom and businesses once Grant is gone. My brothers know this and they have accepted their place in the family and are not relied upon by the duke as I am.”

  “Do you not grow weary of it all?”

  “Catherine, you don’t understand.” His voice turned edgy. “That’s the way it’s done. I live with it and accept my station in life. That’s all. End of subject.”

  “Forgive me for upsetting you. I don’t know that much about the way of life you have led. It’s so very different being raised the daughter of Colonel Martin. He was a strict man, but I never had any reason to fear him or disobey. Then again, being a woman, things are different anyway. I was a good enough daughter, I suppose, until I reached my fourteenth year,” she ended softly.

  He sighed heavily and sat back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. “Why? What happened at fourteen that made you change?”

  “Yes dear, tell us.” The older woman patted Catherine’s arm.

  Nick’s bland tone was different from his aunt’s. Obviously, he really didn’t want to know, but at least they were talking. Raising her gaze from her lap, she looked at him. “That was when my parents told me they intended to betroth me to your uncle.”

  He cocked his head. Even Gertrude’s eyes widened.

  “Why so young?”

  She couldn’t tell them what she expected – that her age was when she started resembling her mother. “I don’t know.”

  “What happened that day?” he asked.

  “He came to visit my parents. On this particular trip, you and your brothers did not accompany him. Before my parents said anything to me, your uncle took me for a walk and presented me with a ring.” She held out her hand to show him the family heirloom around her finger. “He told me this was the ring that was passed down from mother to firstborn son. I was a little confused, but he slipped it on my finger, and that was when I understood. I was so upset, I ran crying to my parents. They informed me Grant was to become my husband when I turned nineteen. That was the last time I talked to my parents, mainly because two days later I was sent to a finishing school.”

  Aunt Gertrude stroked her arm. “Catherine? Why were you angry with your parents for arranging your marriage? Most girls your age dream about marrying a duke.”

  Nick’s brows creased and he leaned forward in his seat, linking his fingers together across his knees as if waiting for her answer.

  Catherine shrugged. “It’s just not done any longer.”

  “Actually, my dear,” the older woman said, “it’s still done in most titled families.”

  Sighing, Catherine relaxed against the seat and stared out the window. “Yes, but it wasn’t done in the little town where I grew up. All of my childhood friends picked their own mates. They had the chance to court and fall in love. My parents took that away from me.” She blinked to fight away the tears threatening to come forth. “My parents didn’t even ask my opinion. They went ahead with the arrangements and didn’t consider my feelings.” She turned back to him. “They were the ones marrying me off for money. I would rather be penniless and happily in love, than wealthy and never know love.”

  Nick leaned forward even more. “What about now? Do you still feel the same now that you have spent a little time with my uncle? He has purchased many things for you since you turned fourteen, which you wear and enjoy. Soon you will have all the money and prestige that you could possibly imagine. So now...have your thoughts of marrying him changed?”

  She met his dark eyes without blinking. “Like I said, I would rather be penniless and happily in love than wealthy and never know love.”

  * * * *

  Nick dropped off Catherine and Aunt Gertrude at the dress shop before going to his office. He had mixed emotions about everything now, especially concerning Catherine. After she told him about the situation
with her parents, not much was said, but he had a lot to think about. He supposed she’d gotten all she’d wanted now, but she wasn’t happy at all. The poor farm girl wasn’t what he figured her to be, and now he knew a little more about her and the way her mind worked, he doubted she purposely tried to hurt his uncle yesterday.

  Maybe she wasn’t to blame. Perhaps she had no idea Grant was going to lose himself while in her company. If the roles were reversed, Nick would have for certain lost his head.

  Then again, Nick never did let her explain what had actually happened. Jealousy had taken over his thought and he’d just assumed...

  He squeezed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Why couldn’t he stop these feelings? He should forget his childhood love and allow his uncle have a bit of happiness before he died.

  Nick met with his business partners and went over the books from the shipping company. Time flew and before he knew it, the lunch hour was upon him. He skipped breakfast and now his stomach growled, reminding him to eat.

  Since he’d sent his carriage back for Catherine and Aunt Gertrude, he hailed a hackney to take him to an eating establishment. On the way, he passed a milliner’s shop, and out in front was parked his family’s coach. Without a second thought, he ordered the driver to stop. He climbed out and hurried inside.

  A few ladies mulled around, and his aunt looked to be making her way through the store gossiping...which was what she did best. In the back of the room, he spotted Catherine. She talked with that old busybody, Lady Ruthaford. Funny how Catherine already looked like a duchess the way she kept her chin up and her back straight, and met the other woman’s stare without cowering...since Nick knew Lady Ruthaford enjoyed making others squirm in her company. It relieved him that Catherine hadn’t noticed him yet. Neither had the older woman. So he casually wove his way through the shop until he caught their conversation.

  “I heard His Grace had a setback yesterday. Is he all right?” Lady Ruthaford asked.