Love Me Always

by Marie Higgins

  Even with a night’s growth of beard, he was still quite handsome. Slightly messed, his raven hair stood in clumps, and his clothes were wrinkled. It didn’t matter. He still made her heart come alive.

  Pushing a lock of hair off his forehead, she whispered, “Nicholas? Nicholas, wake up.”

  His eyes fluttered open. He blinked, scanned the room, then his gaze flew back to her. He straightened and rubbed his eyes, blinking a couple times more before meeting her stare.

  She smiled. “Good morning, Nicholas. Did you sleep well in my chair?”

  He stood and stretched his arms high in the air, arching his back. “Heavens, no. That piece of furniture is definitely not made to sleep in.”

  She chuckled. “Why did you spend the night in my room? Do you know what would have happened if Mrs. Berkley had caught you?”

  He scrubbed his hand over his unshaven chin. “I hoped you’d come back last night. I thought maybe you’d want to tell me about the talk you had with Grant.”

  “Everything turned out just fine,” she said sadly. “He didn’t even remember telling me to come to his room at first, but then once he did, he told me he wanted to announce our engagement tonight.”

  His shoulders sagged and he sighed. “So, it’s official now?”

  “I suppose, but I’m certain there are still papers my father has to sign.”

  “Did my uncle act all right?”

  “Yes. Better than I have seen him lately.”

  “Splendid.” He stepped away and ran his fingers through his messy hair. “I suppose I had better go back to my room before I get caught.”

  “Yes, you should.”

  His gaze roamed over her before meeting her eyes. When he grinned, his eyes twinkled.

  “Would you like to go horseback riding with me this morning, before breakfast?”

  She nodded, her heart quickening. More than anything she wanted to ride her horse, to feel the wind in her hair. And yes, heaven help her, to spend some time with Nick. “Nothing would please me more right now.”

  “Then I’ll meet you at the stables in one hour.”

  The second he left her room, she rang for Emily. As she rushed through her toilette, she instructed her maid to make haste and get her presentable. She dressed in her purple riding habit; the skirt and jacket were deep violet trimmed with black lace. She wore a white blouse that ruffled at the neck and around her wrists. The jacket fit snugly and made her waist appear smaller.

  Emily fixed Catherine’s hair in a tight braid, leaving a few tendrils loose around her ears. Catherine wanted to look her best for Nick, hoping he wouldn’t get upset at her for making the effort. Nonetheless, she would enjoy herself to the fullest. After all, her freedom would soon be taken from her once the betrothal announcement was made.

  Exactly forty-five minutes later, Catherine hurried down the stairs, peeking over her shoulder on the lookout for Mrs. Berkley. Catherine rushed outside to the stable without seeing her companion. Right away Nick’s deep voice made warm tingles shoot through her as he conversed with one of the stable hands.

  When she entered, both men turned her way, but it was Nick she couldn’t take her eyes off her. His face was clean-shaven and his hair, still a little damp and combed away from his face. The black riding trousers fit his body like a glove, and on his muscular legs, black knee-length riding boots. The white lawn shirt under his fawn-colored jacket had a couple of buttons undone at the throat, which he really should have fastened, but she was glad he didn’t. Strange that he didn’t have his vest and cravat. He looked so relaxed, so casual.

  When his gaze traveled over her, the beat of her heart doubled in rhythm. He met her stare and his green eyes softened.

  He grinned. “You’re early.”

  She shrugged. “I can’t help it. I love to ride. I love horses.” I love you... She quickly stopped her thoughts. She definitely couldn’t think that.

  “Good. I’m glad because I have a long morning planned for the two of us.”

  He took the reins from the groom and led the horse over to her. “I believe you have ridden Beauty before, correct?”

  “Yes. She’s a perfect horse.”

  He walked up to her, placing his hands on her waist.

  “Do you mind if I help you?”

  She shook her head.

  He picked her up and set her on top of the horse without taking his eyes off hers. “Are you comfortable?”

  “Yes.” She was helpless to look away as the warmth in his gaze kept her enchanted.

  He winked before turning back to his horse, which the groom had brought over. Nick expertly mounted. He glanced at her and smiled. “So...you like to race, do you?”

  She grinned wider. “You cannot remember?”

  He chuckled. “Good. I’ll trust you can keep up with me?”

  She joined in his laughter as she urged her horse forward. “Keep up with you? I don’t think so. You will be keeping up with me.” She dug her heels into the horse’s belly and pushed the mare forward, taking off in a run.

  Nick’s laughter rang out as he pushed his stallion forward to catch up. He did eventually, and then for the next little while, they each played catch up. First her, then him as they raced. Nick must have been holding back out of kindness, because he allowed her to win more times than she should have.

  After a while, they stopped by a stream to rest the horses. Nick jumped off his horse first and hurried to help her dismount. He held her close for a few minutes longer than propriety allowed. Hesitantly, she stepped away. But what she wanted to do was fling herself in his arms instead.

  * * * *

  Nick smiled at the beautiful woman, and wished he could remove this infatuation, but being with her made him happy. It was more than physical attraction; it was the twinkle in her eyes and the heavenly lift of her voice that made his heart pitter-patter like it’d never done before. Childhood memories were now replaced with recent memories...those he couldn’t dismiss no matter how hard he tried.

  Nick had arranged with the cook to prepare a basket of food for their breakfast. He laid out a blanket, helped Catherine down then sat beside her. She sectioned out the food on plates and they ate. The mood was still very joyous while they discussed their morning ride. It pleased Nick when he made her laugh and to see her smile.

  “Oh, Nicholas.” Catherine sighed heavily after she’d finished eating. She stood and walked to the edge of the stream. “Although I know I shall be forever reprimanded by Mrs. Berkley when she discovers I left without her, being with you this morning has been such a delight.”

  He grinned. “Indeed it has.”

  She took in her surroundings from the gurgling clear stream, to the tall oak trees and over the spacious meadows. “You know, it’s hard for me to imagine all this will be mine someday. I still feel like a visitor here.”

  He chuckled. “Well, of course you do. It hasn’t been quite a month yet.”

  “Yes, but in a way, it seems like I have been here longer.”

  Nick stood and walked to the tree closest to her and leaned against, facing her. “Has it been difficult caring for my uncle?”

  She looked at him then quickly glanced down at the rushing water cascading over the rocks. “Yes and no. I’m privileged to have the time to get to know him better, but sometimes I wish I could be doing something else.”

  “Like what?”

  She shrugged. “Just something besides playing nursemaid.”

  “You know, you are doing a wonderful job. Uncle Grant’s health is improving little by little.”

  She relaxed her smile. “I suppose.”

  “What worries you about your upcoming wedding, Kitty?”

  She knelt by the stream and ran her fingers in the water. “From the very first time the duke kissed me and the few times after, I’ve had the worst feeling in my stomach. I feel unclean, like something isn’t right. Yet I try to tell myself it’s right because I will be his wife. But I just cannot feel good about marrying him
.”

  “Is it because you don’t know what to expect?”

  She glanced at him. A dark pink color highlighted her cheeks. “Perhaps.”

  He walked to her and crouched beside her. “Kitty? What do you know about the marriage bed?”

  Her face darkened even more and she looked away. “For one, I know I should not be discussing this with you.” She stood and moved to the tree.

  Chuckling, he straightened and followed her. “What if I told you it’s all right? You can talk to me.”

  She laughed softly. “Oh? Like a sister talks to a big brother?”

  He ran his fingers gently over her heated cheek then moved them down to her chin, turning her face toward him. “No. How about talking to me as a good friend.”

  Her cheeks still held a slight blush. “You are a good friend to me, Nicholas.”

  His heart hammered against his ribs, wanting to be more than a good friend. “Then talk to me about what is on your mind.” He leaned his head closer to hers, his thumb gently stroking just underneath her bottom lip. “Anything you want to tell me, I shall be here for you because that’s what close friends do.”

  Her throat constricted in what looked like a hard swallow. “Then if close friends confide in each other, why don’t you talk on a personal level to me?”

  Surprise had him taking a step back. “What do you mean?”

  “At times when we talk, you seem lost in your thoughts. If you want to help me, why do you not think I would like to help you?”

  “You help me?” He chuckled and moved closer to the stream. “With what, pray?”

  “Anything you wish to tell me.”

  He stared at the clear water flowing over the rocks and didn’t hear her step behind him, but her hand on his arm made him aware how close she’d come. He couldn’t tell her his feeling. There was no way he could confess he’d loved her since they were children. Lately, that had been the only thing bothering him.

  “Nick, I can tell something is wrong.”

  He faced her. “Nothing is wrong, I assure you.”

  “Your eyes tell me different. They suggest a great sadness in your life.”

  “Does everyone not have something sad in their lives?” He shook his head. “Kitty, I feel helpless at times and don’t know who to talk with since I know for a certainty I cannot talk with you about it.”

  “And why not?”

  “It’s a delicate subject, my sweet.” He tried to smile under the circumstances.

  “It works both way, Nicholas. If you want me to open up to you, then I expect the same from you.”

  How he would like nothing more than to take her in his arms this very second and let her comfort him. He wanted to be close to her, to share his love with her. “Do you know how adorable you are right now?”

  He bent until his lips hovered above hers, but he didn’t kiss her. He couldn’t...it wouldn’t be right. But when she sighed and leaned closer, closing her eyes, he couldn’t stop himself any longer. Just as her lips touched his, there was a shout in the distance.

  They jumped apart. Under his breath, Nick grumbled, not believing fate’s ill timing. He took a deep breath and walked into the clearing to discover what the commotion was about.

  A lone rider atop of a horse galloped Nick’s way. He growled.

  “Nick.” Gregg’s voice rang out. “Is Catherine with you?”

  “Yes,” he answered. “What is it? Is something wrong with Uncle Grant?”

  “No, he’s fine. I came to get Catherine.” Gregg stopped the horse. “She has a visitor.”

  Catherine stepped out of the little grove of trees, looking more composed than Nick felt.

  “I do? Who is it?” she asked.

  Gregg’s smile wavered as he switched his attention between her and Nick. “It’s your father.”

  She sucked in her breath and the color left her face. She pursed her lips. With a stiff nod, she straightened her shoulders. “I’ll be there momentarily.”

  Gregg shot Nick a fierce glare before turning his horse and riding away. Gregg suspects. Nick cold read his brother well. If roles were reversed, Nick would have thought the same.

  He walked to Catherine and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Are you all right? You look as if you are quite upset by your unexpected visitor.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll send him away if you wish.”

  She smiled. “That’s not necessary. I shall speak with him, and hopefully discover why he’s really here.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Catherine entered the drawing room with a straight back and her chin erect. Nick followed, only a few steps behind. When her father rose from the sofa and stared her way, pain twisted in her chest. He still held the same accusing glare he had since her mother’s death.

  He lifted his chin a little higher and switched his focus between her and Nick.

  “Hello, Father,” she greeted without emotion.

  The straight line of his mouth relaxed. “I’m relieved to hear you are finally speaking to me.”

  Keeping her stance prim and proper, Catherine strolled to a chair and sat on the edge, just as she was schooled to do.

  Nick walked to her father and gave him a hearty handshake. “Good to see you again, Colonel Martin.”

  “And you, Nicholas. How is your uncle faring?”

  “He’s doing better, thank you.”

  Her father nodded and took his seat on the sofa. “Catherine, my dear, I’ve been worried sick about you since you left home, and I needed to assure myself that you were all right. I hope you forgive my unannounced visit.”

  “Well, you are here now, and as you can see, I’m well.” She paused only briefly then asked, “Now why don’t you tell me the real reason for your visit?”

  A nerve in his cheek jumped – the only sign of his inward annoyance. Perhaps he held back his temper because of Nick’s presence. She didn’t think she’d misjudged her father. There had to be a reason he came to see her. Perhaps he thought the engagement wasn’t going quick enough for his greedy tastes.

  “Well, I...” His gaze flew from Catherine to Grant’s nephew.

  Nick strode to Catherine and gently touched her shoulder. “I will leave you two alone to visit in private.”

  As Catherine smiled into his warm and caring eyes, her heart fluttered. “Thank you.” He left and she wished she could go with him...wished they hadn’t been interrupted by the stream in the first place.

  Catherine took a deep breath and wiped the smile off her face, replacing it with a scowl. She narrowed her eyes toward her father. “So, what’s the real purpose for this visit?”

  His expression hardened, his jaw clenched and his lips curled. Chest heaving, he switched his gaze between Catherine to the now empty doorway. “Catherine, where were you when I first arrived over thirty minutes ago?”

  “I was out riding. Did Gregg not explain that to you?”

  “You were riding with Nick? Alone?”

  She swallowed the lump of fear that gathered in her throat whenever his voice turned harsh like it was now. “Yes.”

  “Where was Mrs. Berkley?”

  “I’m certain I don’t know, Father. I have yet to see her this morning.”

  He lifted off the sofa and paced the floor in front of her. “Good grief, girl, have you no decorum? Do you wish to make a laughingstock out of Grant Fielding’s family?”

  Tears burned behind her eyes, but she refused to shed them. She would not let her father humiliate her this way. “I have done nothing wrong.” Her stomach twisted from the lie.

  “Being alone in a man’s presence while you’re almost married to another is very wrong.” He scrubbed his jaw, his eyes darkening with invisible daggers her threw her way.

  “But I’m not legally engaged. Although in Nicholas’ mind, he thinks I am. Besides, Nick will be part of my family when I wed. We did nothing wrong.”

  He growled and marched up to her, stopping mere inches in front. “Tha
t’s not the impression I received a few minutes ago. I noticed the way that man looked upon my daughter. I can guarantee he didn’t have pure thoughts.”

  Her body shook, but she still tried to remain strong. “You couldn’t be more wrong, Father.”

  “I’m rarely ever wrong about these things.”

  “I...I beg to differ. You have said and done a few things that have led me astray in the past few years. As it is, I cannot trust your word any longer.”

  His eyes darkened even more, turning almost black. She hitched in a breath, but she would not cower. Never again.

  “What would Grant think of his soon-to-be-bride spending so much time with his nephew?”

  “Actually, Father, Grant is the one who insisted.”

  He stepped back, his eyes wide. “Why would he do something so ludicrous?”

  Annoyed, Catherine sighed heavily. “If you must know, Grant is quite ill. His weak heart caused him to have an attack a few weeks ago. Grant has been up in his room since that time.”

  A small amount of color left his face. “Is he all right?”

  She nodded. “With the constant care given by me, his sister, Miss Gertrude, and his nurse, he’s getting better. He won’t be able to get out of his bed for a few more days yet, but he’s gradually gaining strength.”

  “I’m relieved to hear that.” Henry paused, a look of arrogance quickly replacing his sorrowful expression. “At least he’s not aware you’re in love with his nephew, but I’m quite certain the news will certainly cause his death.”

  Catherine sucked in some air and held her anger. “Father, I really have no idea what you are referring to. Whatever you may have thought you saw between Nicholas and myself, it was certainly not love. I admire and respect him, as I’m sure he does me, but we are just friends. He and his two brothers are the brothers I never had. All three of them keep me occupied and they look out for my welfare.”

  “You’re only fooling yourself, Cat.”

  “Oh, you will never listen to me so why do I even try?” Letting out an unladylike growl, she lifted from the chair and walked toward the door, but before leaving, she glanced over her shoulder. “How long do you plan on staying?”