Love Me Always

by Marie Higgins

  She inched back to her bed and curled in a fetal position. If fear of the unknown didn’t kill her, the empty ache in her chest from losing Nick’s trust would.

  * * * *

  It had been the worst forty-eight hours of his life.

  He hadn’t eaten, hadn’t drank anything, hoping he’d sink into oblivion because it lessened the pain in his heart. He needed release soon before his heart stopped beating and he joined his uncle in heaven.

  Confusion filled his mind more than he could imagine. Was Catherine guilty? The evidence against her didn’t look good, yet in his heart he knew she couldn’t possibly be the one doing all these horrendous crimes.

  He’d been in his study for two days, not knowing what to do. He needed a bath and a fresh change of clothes, but didn’t have the ambition to move. Silently he prayed the Lord would listen to his pleas. Closing his eyes he continued to ask God for help. Soon peace settled in his chest as comfort spread through him. Nick now believed the Almighty wouldn’t allow anything unspeakable to happen to such a wonder woman like Catherine.

  No more would Nick stand aside and accept the answers given him since his beloved had been locked in her room. From this day forth, he’d find the truth no matter who stood in his way.

  Right now, that person was Colonel Martin.

  Nick rushed out of the study and to his bedroom to bathe and dress in clean clothes. Within an hour, he was searching through the house for Colonel Martin. For being brutally beaten, the man’s wounds recovered sooner than expected. In fact, Nick didn’t think the colonel had been hurt that badly. A few scratches marred his face, and only a couple bruises still darkened his cheek and jaw. It surprised Nick that the man hadn’t overpowered his attacker, considering the minimal amount of damage that had been done.

  Catherine’s bruised and scratched face looked worse than her father’s.

  The colonel sat in the parlor sipping tea as he stared out the window. Nick took a deep breath and continued into the room. The older man’s head snapped toward him. Slowly, he lowered his cup to the saucer on the table.

  “Good morning, Your Grace. I must say you’re looking well.”

  Nick nodded. “And you seem to be healing nicely. Are you up to talking about the accident yet?”

  The other man frowned and turned his attention back out the window. “No.”

  Nick wouldn’t accept that answer. Not when the life of the woman he loved hung by a thin rope. He strode to the empty chair across from the man and sat.

  “That’s regrettable, Colonel Martin, because I have had enough of your secrecy.” When the older man met his gaze, Nick arched a brow. “And I’m not leaving until I get the answers I seek.”

  The colonel shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say then.”

  Leaning his elbows on the table, Nick linked his fingers. “I want the truth. Do you, or do you not know who attacked you?”

  The man’s jaw hardened. “I know.”

  “Then why aren’t you speaking about it? What are you hiding from the law and from those who want the truth?”

  The color in the man’s gray eyes grew cold, piercing Nick with a chill.

  “Because you won’t accept the truth.”

  Nick pounded his fists on the table, but the other man remained still. “If you’re going to tell me it was your daughter, I’ll tell you it’s utter nonsense.”

  “Then you are a fool, Your Grace.”

  “I don’t believe so. I’m an excellent judge of character, and I know Catherine is innocent.”

  Colonel Martin’s shoulders straightened. “You saw her the other day...when I was attacked. Did you not notice the bruises on her face as well?”

  Nick’s chest clenched, fear crawling across his skin. “Yes, I noticed. She told me she didn’t know how she received it.”

  “She received them from me. I was trying to ward off her attack.”

  Nick pushed away from the table and paced the floor, fisting his hands by his side. “I cannot believe such a small woman could attack with the intent of trying to kill a man of your intensity.” He shook his head. “It’s impossible.”

  “Not when the small woman has the strength of ten men when she’s gone mad.”

  He stopped and faced the older man, Nick’s breath ragged with frustration. “I’ve seen her upset before and she’s never acted the way you say.”

  The colonel squeezed his eyes closed. “You don’t know because you have never seen her while she’s in this state of mind.” He took a breath. “Sophia was insane. Her whole family had been that way. Now the disease has moved to Catherine. She killed Sophia, and now she kills everyone else who’ll stand in her way of true happiness.” His voice broke.

  Nick marched to the table and slapped his hands on the wood, making the colonel jump, his eyes widening.

  “Stop lying!”

  Colonel Martin scowled. “I’m not. It’s the truth, I swear. I was raised by a man of God. I do not lie.”

  “What reason would she have to kill me? She loves me.”

  “You were leaving and she didn’t want you to go. I feel she didn’t want to kill anyone, just cause the accident that would bring you back home.”

  A painful throb began in the base of Nick’s skull and worked its way up his head. He rubbed his neck and took a deep breath. “Did you see Catherine kill your wife? Did you see her do the actual deed?”

  Silence lasted for a few moments. “No, I didn’t see her kill my beloved, but Catherine had my wife’s blood all over her and she was holding the poker from the fireplace.”

  Nick turned away from the table and resumed his pacing. “And did you see her injure my uncle in any way?”

  “Of course not.”

  Nick glanced at him and arched a brow. “What about me? Did you see Catherine ever try to hurt me?”

  “You know I didn’t.”

  Nick stopped and faced the older man, folding his arms. “And what about Mary? Why do you think Catherine would want to harm my uncle’s nurse?”

  Sighing, the older man leaned back in his chair, his body no longer stiff. “I think you know as well as I.”

  Nick cocked his head. “Humor me.”

  “The nurse was in love with Grant.” The colonel scratched his chin. “And Catherine knew it.”

  Nick’s heart sank another notch. “Did she tell you she knew it?”

  “No.”

  “Then how can you be certain she knew this?”

  The older man jumped to his feet, knocking the chair over. “Why do you insist on doubting my story? Do you think I want to admit my daughter is insane? Do you think it pleases me to know she killed her own mother?”

  “I’m searching for facts. I’m trying to find ways to keep your daughter out of jail and away from the hangman’s noose.” He paused then continued, “So tell me. How did Catherine know about Mary?”

  The colonel huffed. “I don’t know. Mary told me Catherine had confronted her about her feelings for your uncle.”

  So perhaps Catherine had talked to the older woman. That didn’t mean she killed the nurse. Catherine had shared her suspicions with him, so it really wasn’t a secret. Nothing made sense! Nick ground his teeth, his hands itching to hit something, too. But he mustn’t give up in his search for justice.

  “Colonel Martin, do you not find it strange that the only woman who can back up your story is now dead?”

  The man’s bushy, graying eyebrows pulled together and his lips tightened. “Why am I the one being asked such preposterous questions? I am the victim...or am I on trial now?”

  Nick sighed. “No, but I want to find the truth. I must have proof before I believe Catherine is guilty.”

  “That will never happen. In fact, I believe it’s time for me to take her back to our home. I’ll make certain she cannot harm another person again.”

  Nick’s heart clenched. He couldn’t have Catherine leave. Narrowing his gaze, he shook his head. “You think that taking her away from here
will help? I think not.”

  “I’ve already spoken with the constable. He thinks it’s a good idea because our house is isolated and away from the public.”

  “Did you tell them of your suspicions?”

  “No. I love my daughter and want to protect her. Leaving here and returning to our home is the only way. We’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

  Growling, Nick spun around and marched out the door, anger building with each step. Colonel Martin was wrong...and Nick must find a way to prove her innocence. Also, he didn’t want Catherine that far away. How could he keep watch over the woman he loved if she left?

  Perhaps Mrs. Berkley knew something that could help him in his search for justice.

  Quickening his step, he hurried toward the older woman’s room. In the hallway, his butler stopped him.

  “Your Grace, Mr. Adam Lewis, your father’s solicitor, is here to see you. I’ve shown him to the study.”

  Inwardly, he groaned. Now was a bad time to go over his father’s estate business and the reading of the will. But he must take care of things as quickly as he could so as to get on with helping Catherine.

  “Thank you. Could you please locate Mrs. Berkley and tell her I need to see her posthaste?”

  “Of course, Your Grace.”

  Nick hurried to the study and entered. The balding, portly man sat on a chair, drumming his fingers on the black leather satchel in his lap. When he noticed Nick, he stood. “Good afternoon, Your Grace.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Lewis. Unfortunately, it’s not the best afternoon I’ve had.”

  “Problems?”

  “Yes. Something has happened that seeks my immediate attention. I hope you don’t mind if we reschedule the reading of the will?”

  “Of course not. I understand perfectly.” He reached into his satchel and withdrew a letter. “Before I leave, I must give you this. I have one for Miss Catherine as well.”

  Nick shook his head. “Miss Catherine isn’t receiving visitors right now. May I take her the letter?”

  “No. Your uncle specifically instructed me to hand them only to the recipients.” He put forth Nick’s letter. “But here is yours.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Lewis. Once again, I apologize for rescheduling our business. I’ll have my secretary contact you for another date.”

  The man nodded. “As you wish.”

  After the man left, Nick stared at his uncle’s waxed seal of the family’s crest. It hadn’t been broken. The contents were for Nick’s eyes only. He should read the letter later, but curiosity got the best of him.

  He dropped to the nearest chair and opened the letter.

  “My dearest Nick. I first want to tell you how proud I am of you. Not only have you done what I’ve asked, but you did it with a light and forgiving soul.”

  Nick’s heart tightened, but he kept reading.

  “Now I would like to ask your forgiveness, and I wish you to know I’ve only done those things any loving and caring uncle would do to see to the welfare of their nephew. For a while now, I have led you to believe I brought Catherine to our estate because I wanted to marry her. But the truth is...I wanted you to marry her.”

  A breath caught in Nick’s throat. He clutched the paper as his heart hammered out of control.

  “I’ve loved Catherine only as a daughter, and I feared the two of you would never find each other. I remember how you teased her relentlessly as a child, and so I thought I’d help you see how special she really is. Catherine’s father doesn’t know of this plan, although her mother – my dearly departed Sophia did. We wanted to join our families since we couldn’t make it happen all those years ago when we were in love.”

  Tears welled in Nick’s eyes, but he kept reading.

  “Nick, I know you’re in love with Catherine. Since bringing her to the estate, I’ve seen the way you are when she is near. I’ve heard the tenderness in your voice when you speak to her. Please forgive a meddling relative who only wanted the best for his nephew. I sincerely pray both you and Catherine can learn to forgive me and go on with your lives...as husband and wife.”

  Nick stared at the letter, his vision blurred from the liquid in his eyes. All this time she had been his for the taking and because he thought she was his uncle’s, guilt had made a permanent mark on his conscience. He gritted his teeth until his jaw ached. How dare his uncle keep this kind of information from Nick? How could his uncle let him agonize over loving Catherine for so long?

  A light tap on the door shook him from his seething thoughts. He glanced at the door. “Enter,” he snapped.

  His butler walked just inside the room. “Your Grace, I have tried to locate Mrs. Berkley, but it appears the woman has disappeared.”

  Nick scrunched his forehead. “Why? What’s happened now?”

  “Her clothing and personal items are still in her room, but the staff haven’t seen her at all today. In fact, the last time they saw her was when she was with Miss Catherine in her room, right after the policemen put her under house arrest.”

  Releasing a gush of air, Nick pushed his fingers through his hair. What was happening around here? His chest clenched. He needed to gain control not only of his emotions but his estate...before everyone ended up dead.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Nick pulled his weary body out of bed and slugged to the bathing chamber. He’d stayed up to the wee hours of the morning trying to locate Mrs. Berkley. Nobody knew anything.

  He scrubbed his hands over his face before splashing it with cold water. Today he needed to see Catherine before her father took her home. He had to tell her he loved her, and to assure her he’d find the true killer. And...to ask her to become his wife. Probably not in that order either, and probably on his knees begging her forgiveness the whole time.

  He loved her more than life itself, and if he lost her now, he was as good as dead, for his heart would never function again.

  An hour later, he walked out of his room dressed and ready for the day. Each step closer to Catherine’s room, his heart picked up rhythm and beat a little faster. In his mind, he rehearsed what he’d say to her. He’d take her in his arms, kiss her endlessly, and tell her he loved her and couldn’t live without her. As always, she would melt against him. She’d forgive him and they could live happily ever after.

  The guard sat on a chair in front of her room then stood as Nick grew closer. Before he said anything to the man, Gregg stepped out of her room, adjusting his cravat. When his brother’s gaze met his, he stopped. The smile that had been on Gregg’s mouth disappeared.

  “Nick, old man. What are you doing here?”

  “I’m here to see Catherine, of course.”

  Gregg shook his head. “I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she doesn’t want to see you.”

  Pain shot through Nick’s heart and he clenched his hands. “And why is that, may I ask?”

  “Because, my dear brother, you abandoned her in her time of need. You did nothing when everyone pointed the accusing finger. To her, that was the worst thing you could have done.”

  The pain twisted deeper, and Nick’s stomach lurched. “I was in shock – just as we all were, Gregg. I didn’t know what to think, what to do.”

  Gregg folded his arms. “But she doesn’t see it that way. You are dead to her now, just as Ian is dead to her. I’m the only person she wants to see.”

  Taking in a deep breath, Nick tried to make the pain in his heart leave. Tears stung his eyes and he blinked to keep the liquid back. “Gregg, I need to talk to her. I need to tell her that I haven’t given up on her and that I’m looking for the killer.”

  “I’ll be certain to pass that information along.”

  Nick gritted his teeth and narrowed his gaze. “Gregg, I demand you let me in that room.”

  The guard stepped closer, folding his arms over his beefy chest. Gregg shrugged. “Demand all you like, but she doesn’t want to see you. Besides,” he said smoothing out his vest, “I won’t let you be upsetting my future wife
in such a way. She’s in enough turmoil as it is.”

  Nick gasped. “Future wife? When did this happen?”

  “Just last evening. Catherine needs a man who’ll stay by her side no matter what.” He stepped closer to Nick. “And I’m that man. I have never doubted her for one moment.”

  A bullet through the heart wouldn’t have hurt as much as his brother’s words...or the realization that Nick might have truly lost Catherine this time. But did he blame her? After all, he had a moment of doubt the other night. Instead, he should have been at her side, fighting the police and Ian. But Nick hadn’t. His feet had stayed rooted to the floor, his mind an empty void.

  Gregg shook his head. “Nick, you weren’t by chance having ideas about making Catherine your wife were you?”

  Nick shrugged, wondering whether he should voice his thoughts. Then again, hadn’t Gregg already suspected this? “And what if I was?”

  “I fear you are disillusioned.” Gregg chuckled. “Although Catherine is a sweet, beautiful woman, the new Duke of Ashton needs to marry a woman of abundance. Catherine is a country girl with no dowry. She wouldn’t make you a fitting wife, and you well know it.”

  Anger boiled behind Nick’s eyelids and he squeezed them shut. Fighting for control, he breathed deeply and opened his eyes. As much as he wanted to argue the point, he was too drained – mentally – to do it. “Then I suppose congratulations are in order. Please tell Catherine I hope the best for her...and for you, of course. Also let her know I will not give up searching for the killer. I won’t stop until the culprit is found.”

  Nick turned on his heels and walked away, trying not to step on his broken heart in the process.

  * * * *

  They would be leaving within the hour.

  Catherine’s heart clenched when realizing she wouldn’t be able to say her farewells to Nick. Of course, he didn’t love her enough to believe in her innocence, so why should she tell him goodbye?

  She glanced over every item in her room...the room that would no longer be hers. A heavy pressure gathered in her chest, making it painful to even breathe. The past several weeks had been hell for her. Yet at times, it had been heaven. Running her fingers along her vanity, she exhaled deeply. She’d come to think this was all hers...or at least knowing it would be some day. Now, that too, was just a memory.