The Secret Wedding Wish

by Cathy Gillen Thacker

  “Which is why you like coaching both kids and adults,” Janey guessed, thinking he certainly had found the right profession.

  “Right. Anyway, we were together for four years, and during that time Renee became increasingly dissatisfied with our financial situation,” he recalled, his eyes darkening. “I was sure I was going to make it to the major league coaching circles—all the signs were there—but Renee had no such assurance. Bottom line, she was not happy being ‘the wife of a minor leaguer’ I think is how she put it. So she left me and moved to Portland, forcing me to cut off all contact with Bobby, who was five by that time. I could have sued her for visitation rights, but I knew it would be difficult at best for me to see Bobby. And by then Renee had made her dreams come true by marrying someone wealthy that even I could see loved her and Bobby. So I did what was best in the long run and agreed to cut all ties with Bobby.”

  Janey’s heart went out to him for having been put in such a no-win situation. “And you regret it.”

  Thad shrugged, suddenly appearing weary to his very soul. “I know I hurt Bobby,” he said in a low, remorse-filled voice. “And I can’t forgive myself for that.”

  Janey understood. To see a child you loved in pain was absolutely unbearable. To see it and know you were at least partially responsible was even worse. She sensed that Thad—like herself—would do whatever he had to do to prevent any more distress. “Is he happy now?”

  Thad nodded, the tension in his broad shoulders easing slightly. “Renee and I still have some mutual friends—and they’ve assured me he really is.” As their gazes locked, his lips tightened with determination. “Nevertheless, I’ve promised myself I will never take a kid into my heart again while dating the mom, or become a surrogate father to him or her and then abandon him if and when things don’t work out.” He shook his head regretfully. “I’ve walked that road before and it’s just too damn painful.”

  “WAS COACH LANTZ HERE last night?” Chris asked Thursday morning over breakfast.

  “He brought your math book to you around ten. Funny thing,” Janey drawled, “you leaving it at the arena.”

  Chris blushed and ducked his head.

  Guilty as charged, Janey thought. Her son had done it on purpose. Was he that desperate for a male influence in his life? And why weren’t his five uncles—who all cared about him deeply—sufficient? Why was Chris so drawn to Thad, unless it was for the same complicated, inexplicable reasons she was? Because somehow, just being with him felt so right. Predestined, somehow.

  “I’ll have to thank him,” Chris murmured into his glass of orange juice.

  “Yes, I think you should,” Janey said with a pointed look as she ladled scrambled eggs onto Chris’s plate. Regardless of the sticky emotional circumstances, good manners needed to be used. “So how is your math homework coming? Are you going to be able to finish all of next week’s assignments before tomorrow?”

  His sheepishness fading, Chris nodded. “There’s just one section I don’t understand.”

  “Maybe you could ask your teacher to help you with it before you leave summer school today,” Janey suggested.

  Chris nodded noncommittally.

  Janey dropped Chris off at school, then went to the shop and immediately telephoned the Carolina Storm’s business office for an appointment the following week. She was told the person who made such appointments wasn’t in, but they would get back to her. So Janey left her name and number, put the batter for two cakes in the oven that needed to be completed that day—and started plotting out the decorations of the line of birthday cakes she planned to offer the following week.

  The afternoon was filled with half a dozen wedding cake appointments to select, plus the completion of the cakes she was working on. She dropped Chris at the arena for work at five, delivered one cake to her mother at The Wedding Inn, then took another to a four-star hotel in Raleigh. En route back to Holly Springs, she got caught in rush-hour traffic and knew she wasn’t going to make it to the practice arena by seven to pick up Chris. She tried calling her siblings and her mother on her cell—none of them were answering. Finally, in desperation she called the arena office. Thad answered the phone. Hearing her problem, he quickly offered to take Chris home.

  “Really, he could take a cab,” Janey said, hating to impose. If it weren’t for the fact Chris would have to cross a major highway on foot and journey a good four miles, she would have had him ride his skateboard home.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed, his warm familiar voice sending tingles down her spine. “I’ll see you later.” He hung up before she had a chance to reply.

  CHRIS AND THAD WERE sitting at the kitchen table, their heads bowed together over a textbook when Janey walked in, looking hot and tired and utterly frazzled from the events of her day. If she was surprised to see the two of them sitting there, working on Chris’s math homework, she didn’t show it. “How’s it going?”

  “Good. I’m starting to get it now,” Chris said. He looked at Janey earnestly. “When’s dinner, Mom? I’m starved.” Chris turned to Thad expectantly. “Want to stay?”

  “Chris!” Janey exclaimed, horrified by the pressure her son was exerting.

  “Really, you do not have to issue an invitation,” Thad said, already rising politely, even though he wanted nothing more than to stay and spend another evening with her.

  “But we got plenty!” Chris interrupted eagerly. “Mom, he’s hungry, too. You should have heard his stomach growling before you came in, and he looked hungry, too. You like spaghetti, don’t you, Coach?”

  Thad nodded slowly, looked into Janey’s eyes. She looked torn between amusement and acquiescence to what increasingly seemed like a losing battle—at least where her son was concerned. And there was something else there, too. Whatever she was afraid of—when it came to the attraction building between them—she was obviously as enthralled by it as he was.

  “YOU REALLY DON’T have to help me with the dishes,” Janey said two hours later, after Chris had gone upstairs to shower and get ready for bed. Thad had been a good sport, but they had imposed on him quite enough for one night.

  “Then how about walking me out?” Thad asked.

  She could tell by the way he was looking at her that he wanted to talk to her privately. Truth was, she wanted to talk to him, too. “Can’t find your SUV, hmm?” she teased, not sure why this should suddenly feel so much like a date when it clearly wasn’t.

  Thad shrugged his broad shoulders lazily. “Always good to have backup.” He gave her an ardent glance that upped her pulse another notch. “You know what I mean?”

  They shut the door behind them and strolled down the walk, away from the yellow glow of the porch light to the curb. Instead of circling around to the driver side, Thad leaned against the front passenger side of his SUV.

  She looked away, realizing she was on the verge of falling in love with him. The prospect of depending on him and his solid, reassuring presence in her life absolutely terrified her. “I’m sorry about the way Chris put you on the spot tonight,” Janey said softly, determined to keep things on an even keel. “He’s not usually so pushy, but as we both know, when it comes to you he’s got this hero-worship thing going.”

  “The admiration is mutual, believe me,” Thad replied huskily.

  Janey looked into his face, saw the sincerity reflected there.

  His profile was bathed in silvery moonlight and the glow of the streetlamps overhead, making him look all the more handsome. Janey splayed her hands across the hardness of his chest. She loved the strength and warmth of him, the gentleness in his touch, the sexiness of his kisses, the reckless way he had made love with her, and the way he still refused—ever so subtly—to let her back away.

  Thad hooked an arm about her waist and drew her near. “Thank you for dinner,” he whispered, holding her close and studying her upturned face.

  “My pleasure,” Janey murmured back, wanting to go to bed with him again so much. Not that they’d ever
made it to the bed that first time….

  Thad stroked his hands through her hair. “I think Chris felt sorry for me,” he confessed in a low, teasing tone. “Being a single guy and all. At least, he kept telling me how great a cook you were.”

  Janey blushed, knowing—as did Thad—that Chris had a little matchmaking in his blood. “He mistakenly thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Janey said wryly.

  Thad guided her around, so her back was to the SUV door. He moved forward, until their bodies fit as snugly as a lock and key. She could feel his arousal and recalled with stunning clarity what a demanding and yet ultimately giving lover he had been. “Where would he get that idea?”

  “His uncles, probably,” Janey murmured, aware her body was burning everywhere they touched. Her nipples were aching. Her thighs were liquid, weak. Hanging on to her self-control by a thread, she finished playfully, “None of them can cook one bit.”

  “Hmm.” He scored his thumb across her bottom lip. “So, in other words, being helpless works in attracting females?”

  Heat started low in her body and welled up through her chest. “Depends on which female you want to attract.”

  “Only one.” He leaned closer and pressed a kiss to her flushed cheek, a gentlemen to the end. “You.”

  “Thad—”

  He tightened his arms on her possessively and looked down at her with all the love she had ever dreamed of. “I know you probably think I’m hanging around too much—”

  He fastened his lips on hers. And once he demanded her surrender, once she felt the hardness of his body pressing resolutely against hers, there was no stopping with just one kiss. He stroked, he teased, he caressed, until she surged against him, threading her hands through his hair. Until she was kissing him back more recklessly and wantonly and completely than ever before.

  Janey tilted her head back, stroking his tongue with hers, relishing his warmth and his strength and the myriad sensations coursing through her body. She wanted him…so much. And they were out on the street, standing in front of her house, in plain view of any of her neighbors who might look out their windows, or just happen to walk or drive along.

  Moaning her frustration that Thad had come into her life at the wrong time, Janey broke off the heady kiss. She rested her brow against his chin, eyes closed, a complex tangle of feelings fighting for control inside her. Thad drew back slightly, kissing her forehead, her cheek, the tip of her nose, the delicate shell of her ear.

  She caught her breath as his tongue traced the nape of her neck. It was all she could do not to melt right there on the sidewalk. She groaned again, this time in frustration. “If you keep this up, people will start to talk.”

  “Can I help it if I spend all my time daydreaming up excuses to be close to you?” he challenged with a gallantry that kindled her senses.

  “We have to think of the example we’re setting for Chris,” she protested unevenly.

  He tunneled his hands through her hair and looked down at her, affection in his eyes, his face still tantalizingly close to hers. “The best example there is would be to show your son how a man acts when he is in serious courting mode.”

  Janey’s heart took a little leap as she thought about the implications of that. Awareness shimmered between them, more potent with every second that passed. “Are you courting me—seriously?” Janey demanded breathlessly.

  Did she want him to? She had said she didn’t ever want to get married again. Until tonight, until now, that had certainly been true…. But it wasn’t. Not anymore.

  His eyes held a quiet steadiness that made her tremble. “Kiss me again and tell me what you think.”

  She rose up on tiptoe and met him halfway. His kiss was brimming with feeling—and a hunger she hadn’t known she could possess surged through her veins. Her lips softened beneath his as he kissed her long and hard and deep. She opened her mouth, wanting, needing more from this yearning that called to the deepest reaches of her being. The sure pressure of his lips felt so warm, so right as she met that melding of hearts and souls with the pent-up passion of a lifetime, and the fear of the recklessness and regrets still to come. She clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders, her breasts pillowed against his chest as she passionately returned kiss for kiss. Their hearts were pounding, pulses racing. She was trembling with the effort at restraint. And so was he, she noted dizzily, as—mindful of where they were—they slowly, reluctantly let the kiss end again.

  For a moment, they simply stood there, breathing hard, gazing at each other.

  “That felt pretty serious,” Janey whispered finally, luxuriating in the feel of the arms still wrapped securely around her.

  “Good.” Thad looked down into her face, his blue eyes brimming with an emotion he made no effort to hide. “Because it is.”

  JANEY WALKED BACK into the house, still feeling dazed from Thad’s kisses. She went straight to the kitchen, and the dishes she had left soaking in the sink. Chris came down the stairs. He was wearing a Carolina Storm T-shirt and pajama pants. His hair was slicked wetly back from his face. And in the light of the kitchen, Janey could see a few long blond whiskers on his chin. Soon he too would be needing to shave. He really was growing up so fast….

  “Coach leave?” Chris asked, plucking an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter.

  Janey nodded, aware her knees were still a little wobbly.

  “You sure were outside a long time talking to him,” Chris observed.

  How had he known that? “I thought you were in the shower!”

  “For ten minutes,” Chris responded with the authority of one who knew the facts. “You were outside for thirty!”

  Janey blushed self-consciously. Had it been that long? She had known the man could kiss and that he had a way of making time stand still when they were together, but she had no idea they’d been outside kissing for that long.

  “Were you kissing him, Mom?” Chris asked her sincerely. “I just ask because it looked like you were and I want you to know if that’s what was happening out there it’s okay with me.”

  “It is?” Janey ascertained slowly, blushing all the more. She had always figured he would protest her involvement with anyone other than his late father, when it came right down to it.

  “Yeah.” Chris polished the apple on the front of his T-shirt. “He’s an awesome dude. You should be with somebody like that. Especially after—”

  “After what?” Janey asked, as Chris ducked his head shyly and didn’t go on.

  “Well, I was just wondering.” Chris paused, at the moment looking so very much like Ty as he looked Janey straight in the eye. “Dad never really made you happy, did he?”

  It was Janey’s turn to duck her head and flush. “What makes you think that?” she asked uncomfortably, not sure whether she should continue painting a rosy picture that hadn’t really existed or treat her son like the grown-up he was becoming and simply tell the truth.

  Chris’s matter-of-fact attitude and straight talk helped her decide.

  “Because you were always so tense and kind of fake-happy when Dad was around. When you’re with Coach Lantz, like tonight, you’re always smiling or laughing and so is he, and your face kind of lights up or something when he comes in the room. I always thought that kind of stuff was just in the movies, but…”

  “I wasn’t aware I was so transparent,” she said, embarrassed.

  “Hey. You feel what you feel. If you like someone you just gotta go with it. You know?”

  Janey made a show of clearing her throat. “What are you trying to say here, Chris?” As if it weren’t already perfectly obvious.

  Chris gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “I want you to know it’s okay with me if you start dating again or even want to get married or something.”

  He really was so smitten with the idea of the three of them becoming a family. Janey only wished she didn’t have the same secret wedding wish, because there was no telling how Thad felt about
her. Yes, Thad desired her. He liked spending time with her and Chris. He had even liked making love with her, on the one occasion they had risked it. But beyond that? When Thad said he was courting her seriously, how did he expect that courtship to end? In something as enduring as marriage or just in a prolonged love affair? It was impossible for her to tell. All Janey knew for certain was that she couldn’t begin to predict the future now, any more than she ever had.

  “Well, I’m glad you think that,” Janey said slowly, aware one of her problems had just been solved, because now she knew exactly how to broach what she needed to tell Chris. She smiled at her son, hoping he would be as happy about this as she was. “Because tomorrow evening Thad and I are going on our first official date.”

  Chapter Seven

  Thad had always known Janey was one hell of a sexy woman, and when he arrived to pick her up for their date the next evening, she looked it in a spaghetti-strap chantilly lace dress several shades darker than her hair. It fell to just below her knees, and was cinched in at the waist with a ribbon belt he immediately yearned to undo. Her long sexy legs were encased in sheer dark stockings, and high-heeled sandals added three inches to her height. Making her, he thought, just that much easier to kiss…

  “You look…amazing,” Thad murmured as she ushered him inside her home. Everything about her was perfection, from the soft chestnut waves tumbling down around her shoulders, to the subdued rose lipstick on her lips and the smoky taupe shadow on her lids. And she smelled fantastic, too. Like expensive perfume that filled his senses and beckoned a man to a woman’s bed. The only problem being, they weren’t going home to his bed but to a party for his sister and her bridegroom. So, unfortunately the ravishing was going to have to wait.

  “I think she looks pretty good, too,” Chris said proudly as he popped up behind Janey, eager as always to talk to Thad. “For a mom, I mean,” Chris finished hastily.

  Thad smiled at Chris, then turned back to Janey. He couldn’t stop looking at her, and she seemed to feel the same way about him. “She looks amazing, period,” Thad murmured as Janey flashed a shyly appreciative gaze his way, then gathered her evening purse and keys. Unable to help but put her mom hat on once more before they headed out the door, she said in an I don’t want any trouble while I’m gone voice, “Now, about your evening…”