fiX - A ParaBnormal Fairy Tale

by Michael Golvach

  “Well,” David said, looking at his knuckles and seeing no cuts or scarring. Not sure what he was being told and swearing Cadence’s body had shifted slightly to the left. “I don’t know about that.”

  She gripped his hand tighter. “You are a provider, David. Rare things follow you. Many more rare things will be coming to you. Very soon. I can’t sense when that will end. But...” She moved her hands to his wrist. “Brent and I will help you. We will keep you here if you’ll let us. Protect you from the forces mobilising to harm you as we speak. We’ll make this a pleasant place for you to stay.” She pressed his hand in between her breasts. “We will make sure you live happily. You will provide, for a time. And we will see that your life here is wonderful. That you never want. That you never need for anything. Will you consider that? Will you consider our offer of solace and shelter? Will you speak with Juno about it?”

  “I don’t understand,” David said. She gripped him more tightly as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. “Who’s coming? Do you mean...? How do you know...? I mean, I’ll—”

  The patio door slid open and Cadence stood, still holding David’s wrist firmly. He turned around from his seat, still not seeing Juno inside. He glanced at Brent, who looked uncomfortable with the situation.

  Cadence grabbed Brent by the back of the neck and pulled his face downward. She spoke into his ear, making sure she was on the side of his face David could see, as she looked directly into David’s eyes. Her pupils dilating. “It’s been so very long.” A seemingly crimson tear trickled down her cheek. “I’m so tired. Will you say good night to our guests for me?” Brent promised he would and Cadence swooped down to kiss and sniff David’s hand again, looking once more into his eyes and squeezing hers closed quickly, trying not to shake.

  As Brent took his seat, he whispered into Cadence’s ear and gave her ass a loud smack. She rushed back into the house, sliding the patio door shut behind her. David thought he heard Juno asking her if everything was all right.

  David held his hands up as Brent looked over at him. “I’m not sure what just happened, Brent. It wasn’t what it looked like.”

  Brent stared at him without expression.

  “I honestly don’t even know what she just said to me or what she asked me. This is... Whatever it is... It’s not what you think.”

  Brent continued to stare at him, rubbing his knuckles together.

  David noticed Juno looking out from the living room. He waved her back, but she kept looking out around the corner, though she couldn’t possibly hear what they were saying.

  Brent cracked a smile and laughed. “You should see the look on your face.” He rubbed at his eyes. “Oh man. I told you. She’s a trip, right? She’s single.” He gestured with his thumb toward where Cadence had been standing. “She can lick, smell, chew on... She can do whatever she wants to whoever she wants. I don’t give a shit.”

  “Okay,” David said, still feeling a bit shaken as he tried to relax. Considering Juno may have been right and their new neighbours actually were swingers. On the other hand, considering they might be completely insane.

  “You two drained her today.” Brent looked back into the house, noticing Juno, who shrunk back slightly. “She’s been making herself nuts all day trying to figure you both out. Especially you.”

  “So, did she figure us out yet? I mean, I hope she does before she has a seizure.”

  Brent laughed.

  “Before I forget, what was it she said about us?” David asked.

  “About what?”

  “You said she didn’t say we were ‘well done’. Like she’s said about everyone else who’s lived where we live now.” David’s expression was becoming pathetic. Like a dog begging for a treat.

  “Oh yeah,” Brent said. “She said Junie was ‘rare’ and you were extremely rare. ‘Blood rare’ is how she put it.”

  “What?”

  “That’s what she said. That’s why she’s so distracted by you. Because you’re ‘blood rare’.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Brent shrugged. “Look it up in her dictionary.”

  “She said almost the exact same thing to me while you were off taking care of business. She asked me... something.”

  “She did?” Brent looked surprised. “That explains the crying. You never got to answer her question?”

  “That’s right. I never did. I don’t even remember what—”

  “She asked you to stay? Did she mention Junie?”

  David looked up, searching for the right words. “Not specifically. She said...”

  “That we’d make this a pleasant place for you to stay? Make sure you lived happily. That you’d provide for a time? That your life here would be good? That you’d never want, or need, for anything.? That we would offer you safety and assistance?”

  “Pretty much exactly,” David said.

  “But she didn’t offer anything for Junie? Are you sure? Her voice is pretty gravelly. You really have to listen if you want to catch every word.”

  “Well, I think she asked me to discuss it with her. I feel lost. Quite frankly, I’m still not sure... What did she mean? What do you mean, Brent?”

  Brent smiled. David could see Juno peeking her head back around the living room corner again. “Just say yes, Davey, so I can tell her you did. You’ve seen her face. I can’t lie to that. Just say yes.” Brent waited. “She’s not usually so direct. But, as she said to me on her way out, it’s been a long time. Since what? I can’t say. She’s been feeling desperate since she met you two. She’s been so incredibly stressed. Making sure everything was perfect for you today. She wanted to put out the fine white china. Seriously. For burgers. It took me half an hour to convince her paper plates and plastic utensils were fine. I thought she was going to kill herself trying to make a good impression. She would have worn extensions if she owned any. To disguise the pageboy haircut, though you’ve already seen it. I’d swear she was ready to run off into the sunset with you.” Brent laughed again. “But I can tell you this. It’s a good thing. Especially if she wants you to talk it over with Junie. That means she was making the offer to both of you. I can guarantee you, no matter what she meant, it’s a good thing.”

  “Yes?” David asked.

  “You have to say it. Not ask it.”

  “Yes,” David said again. This time with vigour. Not sure why.

  Brent waved Juno over, and David looked back to see her face blush as she made her way to the patio door. She cracked it open and Brent continued to wave her on. She stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

  “Is everything okay with Cadence?” She knelt on the ground. “She said she was feeling tired and then she came rushing in and... She’s in your bedroom crying.”

  “Her bedroom,” Brent said. “We don’t sleep together.”

  “Oh. Maybe you should tonight.” She began to laugh as Brent looked over at her, grunted slightly as he glanced at her breasts and shook his head. “I’m sorry. None of my business.”

  “Not at all.” Brent stood up. “Come here, you two.”

  David and Juno stood and Brent wrapped his arms around their hips, giving them a half-drunken hug. “If things work out like I think they’re working out, let me be the first to welcome you to our community. Officially. You’re going to be happy here. I promise.” Brent oafishly brushed his hand from the bottom of Juno’s left buttock up to her shoulder and kissed her on the cheek, which made her blush even more. Then he kissed David on the cheek, which made him flinch. “We’ll talk to you both tomorrow.”

  They said good night and David and Juno went back home. Utterly baffled and dying to talk to each other in private about their first adventure outside the city. The crazy, ugly, violent city that was seeming more and more sane by the minute.

  “...This is not a fairy tale... And please tell me you’re not regressing.”

  It’s laying, shivering under far too many blankets, in Its bed, crying tears of my favourite monkey’s
blood. Tears It showed to him though It didn’t mean to. Not secure in the knowledge my favourite monkey didn’t think it was much more than a trick of the light.

  I ask It why It insists on smelling and tasting my favourite monkey over and over again, obviously fixating on him, and still doesn’t feel safe enough to let my favourite monkey smell and taste It. I ask It why It’s still afraid my favourite monkey will remember.

  And I chastise It, while It sobs and moans like a simple animal, that I hope when It put Its scent all over my favourite monkey, and the wanton female monkey he no longer desires sexually, It did so for the right reasons. Though I’m positive It didn’t.

  I ask It if It marked Its territory to ensure the comfort of the disgusting monkey It plays servant and gofer for, and It wails even more deeply and piteously.

  I tell It once more that this opportunity to find Its way back Home will be the last It will know for lifetimes on this mistake of a planet. And that I’ll be gone for a moment to ensure my favourite monkey receives his gift of Its instruction without interruption.

  And It only cries more and pulls Its blankets tighter.

  “...This is not a fairy tale... And it is not my mission to sit idly by and watch you purposefully fail again.”

  Richard paced the dark warehouse’s floor as Paul and the seven remaining goons whose job descriptions were, essentially, ‘Human Shield’, began to leave for the evening. Richard had promised David no one would be coming to visit him at his new home until the next day, but a part of him nagged to get the jump. To show that little punk who was running the show.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Ricky?” Paul asked. “Come on, let’s go.” Richard waved him off and Paul shook his head. “You can’t be that giddy about taking Davey and Junie down tomorrow. It’s not exactly Christmas. So let’s go home and get some fuckin’ sleep.”

  Richard held up his left hand, looking down and rubbing his chin with his right. “One second.” Paul stopped and the goons waited by the door. Appearing ready for anything, whether or not they actually were. “Let’s go get those rat fucks right now.”

  “Jesus fuckin...” Paul began. He waved the goons back away from the doors. “Are you kidding me? It’s almost one in the morning.”

  Richard beamed, scheming. “Exactly what those two will be thinking.” He laughed. “Instead, the night ends with a couple mean Guatemalans with Machetes. Putting new holes in Junie while Davey watches and then torturing that fuck until he gives up the tape.”

  Paul grumbled and turned the overhead lights back on. He spoke to three goons and they hopped into a grey compact car in the alley, looking back at Richard. Paul cleared his throat and pointed to the car. Richard gave the goons the thumbs up., grinning from ear to ear.

  “You fuckin’ happy now?” Paul asked. “Can’t wait until morning like a regular guy? Jesus. You’re acting like a little kid. Now, let’s go home. I’d like to get some rest before we wake up and do it all again tomorrow. Come on.”

  “Yeah, okay,” Richard replied.

  “And, on your way out, turn off the—” All the lights in the warehouse flickered and burnt out, leaving Paul, Richard and the remaining goons bathed in moonlight. “...Lights.” Paul looked up in futility. “Just, come on. Let’s fuckin’ go. We’ll fix the bulbs tomorrow.”

  Richard walked toward the exit as Paul moved to his car and patted the hood of the grey compact. The goons giggled and waved at Richard as they cranked the ignition, but it only clicked and sputtered as they tried to fire it up.

  “Try another one,” Richard barked as he walked into the alley and waved to Paul, who was getting into his car. “Can you have these guys try another car. This one’s... I don’t know. It isn’t running.”

  Paul looked back at Richard and scowled. “Just fuckin’ forget it, all right?” As he hopped in the back seat of his personal car, he shouted. “We’ll take them tomorrow, like you promised. I don’t have time for this now.”

  “But,” Richard began. “Don’t you want to—?”

  “Believe it or not, I don’t give a shit,” Paul replied. “We’ll do it tomorrow, as planned. Now go home and get some rest. If you want. If it’ll help you sleep better, give them a call before you leave. Fuck with them a bit. Tell them we’re coming now and let them sweat it until we show up when we said we would.”

  Richard waved good night as Paul’s car drove off and the goons assigned to him stood in the dark. Waiting and yawning.

  “That’s fuckin’ right,” Richard mumbled as he picked up the phone and started dialling. “Get ready for a sleepless night, you miserable little rat fucks.”

  David and Juno kept quiet as they entered their new home once more. The clock on the stove read 12:26 at night. Not very late for a weekend in the city, but feeling incredibly late out in the middle of God’s little couple of acres, despite how bright and clear the night sky still remained.

  “I should have had a cross bet going with you and Brent.” He locked the door behind them. “You were going from white to red like a candy cane.”

  She touched at her cheeks and blushed even more, pushing at his chest. “Well, tough.” She grinned. “You didn’t think far enough ahead and, even if there was a cross bet going, I would have won on sheer volume. And, while we’re on the subject, let me switch it real quick.” She paused and dragged him back into the bedroom. “What the fuck just happened over there?”

  “Well, you won the bet.”

  “Yeah.” She turned on the bedroom light and pushed him to the floor, straddling his waist with her legs as her expression turned hard. “But that doesn’t matter, Davey. You and I? No. This was a bad idea. And, since I won, I get what I want. So we’ll sleep together... separately. But I still get to call you Mr. Strange and make you want it so bad you can barely stand it before I hold out.” She tapped him on the forehead. “But what was up with your new girlfriend? Did you have to reject her spastic little ass?” Her face was almost smiling, but it was still red, with a hint of jealousy in her eyes. “What did you say to her that made her cry? Or what didn’t you say? Or what did she say to you? Or... Oh, wait. Better question. What did you and Brent talk about?”

  “Which of those do you want me to answer first, Junie?” He pushed her hips back and away. “Why don’t you tell me what you two talked about? Maybe that would explain the bizarre shit that happened when she came outside to talk to me.”

  “She came out to talk to you, Mr. Strange?”

  “You didn’t know? And please quit calling me that.”

  “No.” She paused. “It really pisses you off when I call you that, doesn’t it?” David gave her an ugly look and she grabbed his wrists and pinned them down. “Good. Anyway, I thought she went outside to say good night to Brent and they got in an argument when he finished relieving himself.” She paused and looked at the ceiling, brushing her breasts against David’s face as her nipples hardened. “I can’t believe she went outside and talked to you with her beloved Brent inside the house. Do you have any idea how inappropriate that was?” She tried to act upset, but found it impossible to keep from laughing. “I wonder how clingy that scrawny bitch would be if they were fucking each other? Damn.”

  “Will you please knock it off, Junie?” He loosed himself from her grip and pushed her shoulders back. “Why don’t we go to sleep?”

  “No. Tonight you lost the bet, and since it would be wrong of me to confuse your dumb ass even more by test-driving Mr. Strange, I get to make you crazy. You know you still want to fuck me. To have me swallow you whole and suck you empty. That’s too bad for you.” She giggled. “Now tell me what happened. Amuse me.”

  “Okay, Junie. Never mind my feelings. But, yeah, she came outside to talk to me. Cut it out.” She kissed his collar bones and bit at his shirt. Making sure to remind him the little David between his legs was just going to have to go to bed frustrated. “I didn’t understand half of it. Although she was passionate about whatever the hell she was going on about. What did
you two talk about before she came out and emotionally groped me?”

  She giggled. Her tongue licked at his neck. Stopping to taste him in between sentences as he squirmed. “She just went on and on about you. How fuckin’ dreamy you are. How she wants to call you baby, like I do. How she hasn’t been able to think straight since she met you this morning. How she feels so badly about it. And, though she knows it’s wrong, how she aches to feel your cock inside her every moment. To have you take her without asking. To know what your cum tastes like. To spread those chicken legs for you and let you eat her alive.” She stopped. “That bulge I’m feeling had better be because of what I’m doing and not what I’m saying about that miserable looking woman.”

  “So if I get left with an aching hard-on and my hand, thinking of someone else, that’s not okay?” He ground his hips up and made her squeal. “But seriously. Take it easy on her. Or go fuck the actual Mr. Strange. He’s single. Isn’t this what you wanted, anyway? To give me blue balls? What did she really say?”

  “About you?” She licked around his ears, making him angry. “I just said. She told me you reminded her of some TV star. Who cares? She’d kill to fuck you, that’s for sure. Brent obviously doesn’t want any part of that anorexic ass. And you lost the bet. Don’t be a sore loser.”

  David gave her a mean look.

  “I mean, she’s as plain as they come,” Juno continued, “but still. Who knows? Maybe Brent’s a passive-aggressive jagoff. Maybe he beats her. It would explain her extreme politeness. Could be he makes her feel even worse than she looks.”

  “I doubt it.” David sat himself up with his left arm and pushed Juno back and away with his right. “He’s a big puppy dog. He’s harmless, Cadence.”

  She smacked David on the chest, knocking him back down. “The worst ones always are. And why would you want to pretend I’m her? I’m much better looking.” She got back on track, as she continued to eat away at his flesh. “And she smelt me, Davey. No lie. She smelt me. Not like the sniffing no one was supposed to notice before. She really smelt me.”