fiX - A ParaBnormal Fairy Tale

by Michael Golvach

  “But isn’t taking your own life considered—?”

  Franklin brought his hand up again, extending his index finger. “Seriously? Yeah, no. The Big Guy all you apes worry about don’t have a problem with suicide. He don’t mind if you come Home early. That would be religion. They’re not the same thing. Not even close. What you monkeys understand about Him. It’s like a baby drawing a still life with broken crayons. Sad. Pathetic. Incomprehensible. But He loves you primates for some reason.”

  “Once again, for real. Who are—?”

  “Are you listening? Here’s the punchline, kid. I kept you alive. I protected you. You didn’t need me all the time, but I wasn’t taking any chances, and now you’re back. And that means, if things don’t get all fucked up again, I can complete my mission and go Home. I’ll continue to exist for longer than that peanut between your ears can conceive, but I’ve been here twenty-four years. Just under one quarter of your longest lifetimes. And I’m already sick to death of this zoo. You owe me, and all I ask in return for my boundless generosity is you don’t let It run away this time. Do whatever you have to do, however you have to do it. Just make sure it gets done. Understand?”

  “Not at all,” David replied. “Could you repeat that?”

  “Repeat what? There’s a reason you’re my favourite, you little fucker.” Franklin patted him on the shoulder and looked at the front door. “Just don’t let It... Cadence It’s calling Itself now, right?” David nodded. “Don’t let It scare you away. You’re the only monkey—At least, for what I’m guessing will be ages—that can stop It and make It see the way back. It’s not complicated. The way Home is a short distance. It’s between seven points. It’s a dot, not a line, because those points are stacked on top of each other. So closely they’re not really separate. More like inside and outside of each other, but all in the same physical space. You get it? No? You will.” Franklin looked down and scratched into the flesh of his chin. “You know you can kill that monkey It’s trying to ‘fix’, right? Like that. All points converged. A to G. Game over. Problem solved.”

  “You really think so? Or are you fuckin’ with me? Because, if I’m understanding you correctly, you need me to get through to It... I mean, her. So you can go Home. Wherever the fuck that is. Yeah?” Franklin nodded. “Then consider this. Based on how she’s treating me now. Whether she loves me, as you say, or not. She’s engaging in the same type of behaviour she was when we last met.” Franklin began to speak and David held up a finger. “Maybe she’s forgiven me for the past. Maybe she hasn’t. In either case, do you really think she’d stick around if I got Brent alone and took him out of the game the hard way? Or do you think she’d be more likely to interpret my present actions as confirmation of any and all doubts she’s ever had about me and what happened to Daniel?” Franklin shook his shoulders, scowling. “If I kill Brent, she’ll know. And then she’ll never let me back in. Am I right?”

  “Are you left?” he asked. “No, of course not. You’re correct, smart-ass. And now we both know for sure.”

  “What?”

  “What are we talking about? You’re the one.” Franklin stopped, hearing footsteps approaching the front door.

  “Why don’t you kill him, uncle? Why didn’t you do that before I got here? Wouldn’t that have done it? She couldn’t blame me for that.”

  “You don’t think so? Believe me, It would. I see where you’re coming from, but you’re making too much sense. That’s not how It works. So you’ll figure some other way to take the disgusting monkey out. Of the game, not this existence.”

  “Maybe it’s best we let her current attempt to ‘save’ someone fail naturally. If I’m the one, there’s no way what she’s trying to do can work, right?”

  Franklin looked at the ceiling with futility. “Did I forget to mention how sick and tired I am of waiting?”

  The front door opened and Juno walked in, looking forlornly in the direction of the Strange household and making a gesture with her hands indicating she wouldn’t mind angrily jerking Brent off, as she let out a feeble growl.

  “You ever wonder what having a really bad case of chlamydia feels like? No, you don’t. You’re welcome. Anyway, I’m going to get back to being me,” Franklin continued as David frantically motioned for him to shut his mouth. “Don’t worry. She can’t see me or hear me. I’m a shadow, remember.”

  “Sure, uncle.” David slammed his hand over his mouth.

  “You know I don’t have a name, right? Not one you monkeys can pronounce, anyway.” Franklin grinned and looked Juno up and down. “It’s a shame. But the manure comes in the most attractive packaging. Why else would you buy it, right?” He punched David on the arm and let out a laugh. “And since I like you and I know you’re thinking she’s wondering what the hell you’re doing standing in the living room talking to yourself, I can assure you there’s nothing to worry about. Just like back in the day. Like all the times you used. When you were hunting for It. When It called Itself Melody. You’re invisible, in every way, when you’re standing in the shadow.”

  David chuckled. “You write your own material, do you?”

  “Is it that time already? Oh my favourite monkey.” Franklin walked David into the back bedroom. “I really do like you. You’re not like all the other simians. You were fucked from the day your mom shit you out. Or maybe you were fucked from the day she stopped breathing and started spending even less time with you. Remember that. You heard me correctly. Either way, you’ve been good and fucked since you can remember.” Franklin stopped him when they’d finished entering the bedroom and Juno’s footsteps sounded in the kitchen. “But don’t take me for granted. Though It tells you what you want to hear. Though It said It made you Its equal. It lies. You can’t be what It is because you’re not what It is. You’re more than human now, but you’re less than It.”

  “Meaning what, exactly?”

  “Exactly? Fine... Meaning this douche bag monkey It’s stuck Itself to. That fuck’s never going to see It as anything other than the abomination It is. It wants to believe It can change what is, to the point of absurdity. And if I know one thing about It, It can’t believe It could ever be wrong. Only you can see Its inner beauty. You were the one and you are the one. Until you die and the next one comes along, which is much longer than I’m willing to wait. And, as is the case with ones, there can be only one. But that’s just common sense.”

  “Look, uncle. Give me a second to catch up. You’re going—”

  “And if you fuck this up and I have to stay here for-fucking-ever trying to lead Its confused, lonely ass back Home? Well, that would mean It left you again. And, if It leaves you again, you won’t be strong enough to stop me from doing whatever I want to you, so you’d better do everything you can to stop It. Make It understand what you are. The part you play in Its realisation of the way back. Don’t let It push you around or play with you. Bottom line: Though I like you, if you do anything to queer this fuckin’ deal on purpose, I’ll know and you’ll get to see Daniel again. And you’ll get to know him better than you’ve ever wanted to get to know anyone in your entire life. You don’t want that. Trust me. Whatever concept you have of Hell, there’s no such place. But there is a Master Keeper, whom I know well. And without It—Cadence—to protect you? Even if you give me the slip on this plane of existence, when your life ends you’ll be processed like every other monkey and you’ll be given to me for eternity without question if I so desire. And, just in case I don’t get to Ricky in time, you could show me your thanks by letting me have him. Because I promised him he’d see me, but just being seen don’t really do it for me anymore.” David began to open his mouth to question and Franklin resumed talking as he turned David away, snapped his fingers to re-establish Cadence’s channel, and breathed into his ear. “What’s left to ask me? Nothing. And yeah, you’d better believe I’m fuckin’ serious.”

  When David looked back over his shoulder, Franklin was gone, and a gloom he hadn’t noticed before lifted
from the room. He asked in a whisper, “Don’t you want your tape?” And, as he waited for an answer that would never come, he realised, again, he’d been talking to something so unearthly and horrifying It wore a dead man as a costume.

  Richard came walking back into the warehouse around five in the afternoon with a backwoods looking ass-kicker. Paul was getting ready to call it a day and was dialling people who might know where Richard had gotten off to.

  “Paulie,” Richard said. “This is Billy. He’s a kid.”

  Paul laughed as he rose from his chair.

  “It ain’t funny,” Billy said. “I’m—”

  “He’s a meth-head. And he’s willing to do us that favour.”

  Billy grumbled. “Look. I don’t know what the fuckin’ joke is with you two, but I didn’t get where I am by—”

  “Where you got...” Paul looked at the book Richard opened for him and laid on his desk. “Where you are is in our pocket for... Holy shit, kid. Twenty-six large? How the fuck are you so long on credit?” Paul looked over at Richard. “Are we doing charity work now, Ricky?”

  “He’s good for it,” Richard said. “I told him we’d wipe the debt if he took care of Davey and Junie and brought us back proof. I told him we want their heads, both of them. He’s a sick fuck, but the way Davey talked to me this afternoon, I want to make sure he goes out as hard as possible. This kid can do that. He loves his work. It’s his hobby.” Richard chuckled. “And I told him we want to see the tape. Burnt or not. Or we want proof it’s gone.”

  “You never said nothin’ about no tape,” Billy said.

  “Did I forget?” Richard asked. “I’m sure I said something about it. I certainly never said nothing. So, again, we need you to recover a tape from the two corpses you’re going to be leaving behind.”

  “Yeah?” Billy asked. “And what’s all that you said about proof of it being gone? If it’s gone, how am I gonna prove that? Except by showing up without it. You want me to bring you air? Would that do it? Shit.”

  “No.” Paul slammed his fist on his desk. “We want to see that cassette. It’s a small one, from a voice recorder. Or we want to see the charred remains.”

  “And if it ain’t there? How do you suppose I fix that? If they ain’t got it on ’em or they dumped it in some corn field?”

  “Then you’ll scour those fuckin’ fields, kid.” Richard chuckled. “You’ll scour them far and wide, for as long as you have to. And, like you’d do if they’ve already run, if you can’t find the tape, you’ll visit the neighbours and find out what they know. If they have it, you’ll get it from them. And you won’t leave anyone behind who might remember you visited. Understand?”

  Billy scoffed. “So just fuckin’ kill everyone then? Is that it?”

  “The fuckin’ neighbours again?” Paul looked at Richard, shaking his head. “I don’t know why you’ve got to massacre an entire town to get back at those two junkie fuckheads, Ricky. But okay. Yeah, the neighbours too. But only if Davey and Junie aren’t home. Then, only if you can’t find the tape. You got it? You got pictures of them? You know who you’re supposed to kill?”

  “Yeah. I know. But suppose for a moment I do kill them. And I kill the neighbours and any other witnesses. What happens if I can’t find the tape? What if they flushed it?”

  Richard and Paul looked around them at the Guatemalan muscle.

  “What do you think, Billy?” Richard asked. “What’s going to happen then, is you’re going to have to explain yourself to our associates. You speak any Spanish?”

  “Do you?” Billy asked.

  “No.” Richard gritted his teeth as Paul let a laugh go. “You’re not seeing my point. I—”

  Billy shook his head. “Can I bring a friend with? We can be there before midnight.”

  “Sure,” Paul said, “but there’s nothing extra in it for you. Just don’t fuck this up. And if you do, don’t make us have to come after you boys too. If you manage to not do this correctly, you’ll both die slow if we have to come find you. Bottom line: If you mess this up, the problems are yours and you still owe us.”

  Richard looked at Paul with incredulity and frustration.

  Paul waved him down as Billy left. “Calm down, Ricky. For Christ’s sake. You’ll get to kill someone soon. I promise.”

  Juno walked into the kitchen. The time on the stove read 5:26. She turned on the tap and ran cold water over her hands, splashing it into her face. She was still shaking from the casual conversation with Brent she’d turned into a heated and near violent altercation. Feeling third-rate that Brent had shown no interest in her Hail Mary proposition. Losing at any cost. And now, if they wanted to hide out at the Strange household that evening, she was either going to have to explain her verbal abuse to David or try to humble herself and apologise without anyone but Brent knowing. Though she couldn’t be sure he wasn’t already spilling everything she’d said to Cadence.

  “Fuck.” She looked down and let the water run as David came up behind her. Watching her for a moment, as she stood with her head hanging down. The water from the tap splashing blood onto the counter and teasing chunks of bone around the drain.

  “Are you okay, Junie?”

  “Fuck you,” she replied, not raising her voice. “I’m going to die here, and it’s all your fault.”

  “We’re not going to die, Junie,” he said. “Everything’s going to be all right. We’re protected. You heard Brent. You heard Cadence.”

  “Oh for fuck’s sake.” She tore at her hair and tried to walk past him. “I can understand Brent. He’s lived with her for God knows how long. He cares about her. Doesn’t want to believe she could ever be wrong, though he’s admitted to me she’s ill. That she’s sick. Which, for some reason, makes her the person most qualified to protect me. But you, Davey? You were serious before? You buy that bullshit too? Really?”

  “Yeah,” he said. “Like we just argued about seven minutes ago. We’re going to be okay. We’re protected. Like they said.”

  “Like she said. Not they. She. Brent may repeat the words she feeds him, but everything about this nonsense. Everything about me being protected. Everything comes straight from her mouth. You believe her too. Tell me why?”

  “Because it’s true,” he replied. “It doesn’t make complete sense to me yet. I just know for a fact it’s true.”

  “She really has got you too, huh?” Juno asked. “The ‘little girl lost’ has got you too. You feel sorry for her, don’t you? Or you think you can protect me, because she says something about how you were sent here to provide for them. Provide what? She’s fucking crazy, Davey. Who the hell talks like that?” She turned around and crossed her arms, fuming. “But you can’t argue with that body, right? No matter that it’s as ugly as the day is long.”

  “Junie, come on.”

  She spun back around. “She was over here with you for hours. Nothing between the two of you but some ratty shawl. Did she keep it on while she licked the house clean, Davey? Or did she make you suffer and have to watch her crawl around on her hands and knees in all her glory? Or maybe it wasn’t the house she was licking? You’ve never admitted you don’t think she’s good looking, though she’s obviously one of God’s mistakes. She can’t get enough of you. Locking into place and itching when you so much as look in her general direction. I’ll bet if Brent and I didn’t exist, she’d drop that act in an instant. Or she’d crank it up to an even more ridiculous degree. Whatever that scheming bitch figured you’d go for fastest. I’ll bet if there was just her and you, she’d have you wrapped around her finger right this moment. All fucked up and stupid, taking every word she says as gospel, like Brent. Fuckin’ men. She may be hideous, but she can still play you like a kid’s game.”

  “Junie, you’re being absurd. There’s nothing—”

  “Am I? Am I being absurd? She wasn’t over here covered with nothing but a knit? She wasn’t wearing a skin tight nightgown in the middle of the afternoon, showing the world her horrifyingly emacia
ted figure? Next I suppose you’ll tell me you don’t feel the least bit flattered by how she so obviously wants you to fuck her. She may look like a gecko, but she knows how to make you feel like a man. Just like what’s-her-name did before you fucked that all up. Your almost first time. You haven’t thought about her like that, not once? Give me a fuckin’ break.”

  David scowled at her. “Jesus, Junie, are you having a fit? Are you craving? Insomnia? Anxiety? Is that what this is? Things aren’t going well so your head goes right back to the dope?”

  “Don’t you start with that.” She slapped him in the face and grimaced in pain as she pulled back her hand. “Don’t you turn this around on me. Answer my question.”

  “Which one?” he asked. “Or all of them?”

  “You know what I mean, you fuckin’ bastard. Admit it. The banana-faced cock tease next door has got you all wound up and you’ll do anything to pretend it isn’t so, even if it means I end up—”

  “You want me to say it, Junie?” She nodded, shaking. “You really want to know what happened while we were over here this afternoon? Do you?”

  “Yes.” She pushed him. “Grow some fucking balls and tell me what I already know, you useless piece of shit.”