Paul roared. “You mother fucker. Nobody talks to me like that.”
“Are you sure? I could have sworn I just talked to you like that.”
“You know what I mean you mother... I’ll see you dead, you little fuck. And I’m going to let Richard go to town on your neighbours, like he’s been begging me to let him every damned second.”
“Then come on down, Paulie. Bring Ricky, all the muscle and every bent cop on your payroll with you. I’ll send flowers.”
Paulie pulled the receiver from his face, breathing heavily into the speaker and then muffling it. Richard in the background calming him down before he continued. “What do you want, Davey? What’s this really about?”
“I want you out of my life. For good. And Ricky, too. You tell that sorry little fuck, if he lays one finger on Melody. ...I mean, Cadence. ...I mean my neighbours, I’m going to kill him as slowly and as cruelly as possible. Don’t make that have to happen.”
“What’s this, Davey? You meet someone new? Two cute young things, I’ll bet.” Paul laughed. “We’ll take extra special care of those sorry little bitches. You can be sure. They’ll go the hardest.”
“I mean it, Paulie. If you so much as—” David said as Brent’s phone ran out of charge. David heard the line click off and clutched the phone in his fist, screaming at the world, in Paul’s absence. “I’ll fuckin’ kill you, you piece of shit, wop mother fucker. I’ll fuckin’... Mother fucker.”
Remarkably, although he wanted to, David managed not to throw Brent’s wireless phone to the ground and crush it under his heels.
David walked back into the Strange household, fuming, and handed Brent his phone. Apologising for using all the battery. Brent rushed the phone back into his room as he eyed the oven, and David, nervously. David assured him the pizzas had three more minutes, but it didn’t stop him from running full speed all the way back.
Juno sat at the kitchen table, playing with the utensils. Her face looked bitter and drawn. Like an older, meaner version of herself. “Are you going to sit the fuck down today?” She looked at David, staring at him like a zombie. “Seriously, now that you’re done having your little hissy fit, sit the fuck down before I smack the shit out of you.”
Cadence came out of the bathroom as Brent began to take the pizzas out of the oven. She walked meekly down the hall, as if considering her every step and when she looked up, her eyes met with David’s. She froze, feeling his restrained anger. Juno was sitting with her back facing the hallway, eyeing her empty plate.
Walk with confidence, David said. You’re a proud, beautiful woman. Don’t walk around all collapsed inward like that. Let your body go loose. Every inch of you is naturally inviting. Quit sucking in your stomach. And just move. Don’t do that walk where it looks like you think you might break an ankle at any moment.
David, I’m... I’m not used to this. Please don’t embarrass me.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just meant, you’re perfect. You deserve the best. You don’t need permission to act like it.
That sounds a bit pompous and a little too self flattering. None of us are perfect. None of us necessarily deserve the best.
You’re wrong about that, Cadence. No one’s more perfectly you than you are. And we all deserve the best. Even you. Especially you. Tonight. You look like a combination of everything beautiful in this world. And, I’ll tell you, if I wasn’t sitting down already, this would be a really awkward—
Now, shush, young man. She gave David a sharp glance and walked into the kitchen to take a seat, patting Brent on the shoulder and pointing at the oven. The pizzas are ready exactly... now.
“I’ve got the pizzas, Cadence. Jesus,” Brent said, not looking at her as she played with her hair, trying to get his attention. “It’ll be one more second. Calm the fuck down.” Juno was still looking at her plate.
“Okay, Brent.” Cadence looked at the floor, feeling ashamed for yet another reason David couldn’t fathom. “I’ll just... I didn’t mean to imply... Thank you, dear.” Then she spoke to David. Are you okay?
Yeah, he replied. I’m just angry. Not at you. At the world. And a few of the people in it.
Just... If you tell me to leave with you this instant. If you tell me to leave this place with you, then, if what we... you believe is true, I’ll follow you without question. It’s the only way for you to know for certain. Cadence glanced over at David. Knowing should give you some comfort, if what you believe isn’t true. Or, at least, allow you to move on and heal. Will you not do that for yourself?
No. I’m positive I’m not wrong, but I can’t force you to love, and care about, me. That wouldn’t make sense. And it wouldn’t be right. You have to ask me to tell you—
Juno kicked David under the table, wincing, and turned her head toward him, trying not to laugh. Her face looked evil. Like a witch.
“Holy sweet Jesus.” Juno giggled. “Your new girlfriend isn’t ever going to get over her crush on you. Just like that porky little orange-red headed thing you won’t ever forget. Neither of them is ever going to let you in, Davey, you dumb shit. Your tubby pig-faced dumpster-fuck of a dream girl has forgotten you ever existed. And pencil-neck over here doesn’t give a shit that you do. The string bean bitch who smells like a rotting sardine. You’d think all those years of being ignored by her own ‘beloved’ would have taught her something about the sickly looking lollipop stick she sees in the mirror. God bless her. She’s going to die all alone. Confused and apologising for everything and everyone in the fuckin’ world.”
Cadence continued to stare at the floor as she pursed her lips. Perhaps realising what she’d done to David wasn’t quite so much fun as she would have expected. But then immediately letting David know it was necessary, no matter how much it hurt either of their feelings, without moving her lips. But, she said. Juno is being, if you’ll please pardon the expression, a bit of a... Oh, I can’t even think it.
You can’t think about not thinking it without thinking it, David prodded her.
Then she said: A cunt. She’s being a cunt. Such a foul word. I’m ashamed to think it. Though it feels good to say. You’re really rubbing off on me. But she’s not being very considerate. She never has been. It’s really beginning to upset me, David.
David forgave her and promised to never speak of her impure thought again.
Cadence looked away and kicked him under the table.
“Now your new girlfriend’s playing footsie with you,” Juno whispered through trembling lips, covering her eyes and trying to keep from laughing.
“Maybe she can hear you,” David whispered even more softly, seething. “Not now, okay.”
“It was an innocent comment.” Juno kicked David in the leg too, her face flushing with pain. “Footsie isn’t a crime. Jesus, whose cock did you wake up choking on today?”
Brent placed the pizzas in the middle of the table and served everyone, except Cadence, a slice. “Phone call go okay, Davey? Sounded like things got a little heated there.”
“Yeah, no. Everything’s fine. Just some folks I used to work with.”
“Oh shit.” Juno blindly apologised to everyone immediately and got right back to it. “Was it Ricky? Not Paulie?” Thin, watery snot streamed from her nose and her crotch smelt distinctly of urine.
Smell, too? Seriously? David asked Cadence, as she served herself a slice of pizza.
Yes, she replied. Look. This is going to get confusing, so I’m going to call you ‘Davey’ when I’m thinking, though you will always be David to me, so you know when I’m actually talking, because this is quickly turning into a mess.
And I’ll call you ‘Melody’ when I’m thinking.
I’m spoken for, Davey. And I’m not... But I love how that name sounds when you say it... She paused. Please, Davey. You keep making me embarrass myself. For convenience’s sake, all right? But... Oh, okay. You’re making me feel funny inside again. And look. You see? No one is treating me any differently. I am ugly.
; No, Melody, you’re beautiful. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. That won’t help. Everyone’s so caught up in their own little dramas they haven’t really looked at you yet. Wait for it. No one else but Junie matters in Junie’s world, and Brent? He’s gotten used to seeing you a certain way for seven years. It may take him three minutes to snap out of it.
Whatever you say, David. I mean, Davey.
“Davey,” Juno shouted. “Was it Paulie?” Brent looked extremely interested in the answer too.
“Yeah,” David replied. “I told him to bring his faggot ass up here if he wants his tape. Because, quite frankly, I’m getting fed up with all his bullshit. Sitting behind a desk all day tossing out empty threats.” David looked over at Brent and Cadence. “Apologies for my language. That was uncalled for.”
“Thank you, David,” Cadence said. “It’s quite all right, you’ve been through—”
“What happened?” Brent asked, interrupting Cadence without looking over at her. “Are they going to come for you? Still?”
“Davey,” Juno said, shaking his arm and throwing a tantrum like a little baby. “Why would you say that to him? You want him to deform me, don’t you? You want me to believe you love me, but you don’t give a shit about me, do you? You really would rather fuck little Miss ‘Good And Proper’ over here than spend another second with me, wouldn’t you? I don’t think I’ve ever understood you. Not now, and sure as fuck not before. I let you talk me out of being a prostitute, which I was making great money at. And then, somehow, I let you convince me to sit idly by while you fucked over the two most connected drug dealers in the city, knowing they’d hold me as responsible as you. You make me sick sometimes.” Juno scoffed. “Most of the time. Who am I fuckin’ kidding?”
“Yeah.” David started to eat his slice of pizza and motioned for everyone else to. “They are.” He sniffed at the air. “Not right now though. They’re still figuring out how slowly they want to die and who they want to take with them.” David laughed as he looked at his glass. “Ricky wants to talk to you, though, Junie. He figures you’ll roll on me with little or no provocation. He’s probably right. But that’s for later. Tonight is Cadence’s night, so shut your fuckin’ mouth, even though it goes against your every animal instinct.” Cadence’s body went stiff for a moment, relaxing as she realised David hadn’t actually been talking when he mentioned her. “So, a silent toast? And then we can just enjoy our meal.”
Brent noticed the glasses were empty and got up to grab a pitcher of juice from the refrigerator, pouring himself, David and Juno a cup and setting the pitcher down beside Cadence.
“Why are you sniffing the air?” Juno asked, her face looking like she’d gone seven rounds with the heavyweight boxing champion of the world. “For God’s sake. When I leave you, I’m leaving you with this crazy bitch over here. You two can go smell the world together.”
Cadence poured herself a glass of juice. Juno is being especially mean tonight. What did you ever see in her, Davey? And quit thinking about kissing me.
What makes you think I’m—?
David stood and marched around the table. Violently knocking Juno and Brent out of his way and onto the floor, pulling Cadence from her chair and throwing her on the table. Kissing his way up her neck while his fingers explored her body.
Davey. She shivered.
He kissed her mouth. Passionately. Deeply. Feeling her lips and tongue receiving his with equal desperation. Her hands massaging his stomach as her legs spread and wrapped around his waist. Davey, you mustn’t.
I’m sorry, Melody, David said, still sitting in his chair. The more I’m near you, the more I want you. Did I just...? I’m not apologising for that one. You know you put that idea in my head, but... I’ll keep it in check. I’ll try to quit thinking about having you. I’ve just gotten used to it and... Damn it.
It’s okay, Davey. Cadence shook harder. I think of it constantly too. I mean... Oh dear Lord.
You can stop this any time. All you have to do is ask me to tell you. Before this goes too far.
No, David. I can’t. I’m sorry if I’m hurting you, like you say, but I have to know for myself, as well.
David looked over at Cadence and Juno snorted, turning to Brent. “Don’t worry about Davey, Brent. He talks tough. Such a big man. He’s a frightened little mouse, like I told you before. He’d be pissing himself if they were actually here. Can you imagine him and your fuck ugly room-mate together? That would be something. Then we could have them quarantined and everyone would be happy.”
“God, what I wouldn’t give to nail you right here in front of the both of them,” Brent said. “I wish I could work up the nerve to get you in bed for real. I haven’t been able to stop masturbating every chance I get since your sweet little ass pulled into town.”
David coughed up his juice, spraying it on Juno. “I’m so sorry. I got some down the wrong pipe.”
“No biggie. You fuckin’ dick.” Juno wiped herself. “I’m sure that wasn’t on purpose. Anything to embarrass me, I swear. Wait,” she said. “Did you do that to see my nipples get hard through this bra you made me wear? Is that what you need? Would that make you take me home and do the magic thing you did to me last night? I want to feel that again. So bad. Please take me home and do that to me again. I’ll let you pretend I’m Cadence.”
“No problem, buddy,” Brent said, as David blushed and he and Cadence lost themselves in each other’s eyes for a moment.
Listen, Melody, David said. If Brent doesn’t start paying attention to you soon, I’m going to direct his eyes over there.
Don’t you dare, Davey, Cadence replied. He’ll notice me. Soon. You’ll see. Then you’ll know.
Melody, you didn’t hear what he said about—?
Yes, but... Just... Shush, Davey. Please. Cadence’s face soured as she continued to pick at her pizza, staring a hole in the table.
“And what the fuck?” Juno pointed at Cadence. “Did the bitch even think about washing today? It smells like extra ugly in here tonight. How can you stand it Brent?” Brent looked away. “I mean, it’s one thing she smells funny, but that shit requires some fuckin’ maintenance if we’re all going to keep our food down. Am I right, Davey? There’s something you’ll never get past. So much for you and Miss ‘Lonely Heart’.”
“That’s actually me.” David lifted his arm and held it to Juno’s face. “I’m the smelly one tonight. My apologies.”
“What the hell?” Juno backed up and grabbed Brent’s arm. “What is wrong with you today? How do you go from your compelling tale about how you’re going to get me beaten ugly for being anywhere near you, to spitting up on me and shoving a smelly arm in my face? I mean, congratulations, you did it, baby. Now you stink as bad as your new girlfriend, but what’s one thing got to do with the other? I wasn’t born yesterday. You’re not changing the subject that easily.”
Melody, will you please turn this spell off? I don’t even know what in the world is happening anymore.
Cadence laughed under her breath. Davey. You are so funny when you get flustered. I do adore you. So very desperately... Stop it, Davey. But no. Not yet. You still have to see.
“Take it easy there, Davey,” Brent said. “Cadence, get the man another slice? He needs to sweat out whatever’s in his system. And why are we eating plain cheese? I swear, this one...” Brent blindly pointed over his shoulder at where he assumed Cadence was. “Always worried. Always clinging and complaining. Like we’re still rationing. To tell you the truth, I think she enjoys it when we go without provision. All high and mighty while her fat ass broods and wails like a dying sea otter. I swear the bitch could find something to complain about in the funny papers. You’d think, with her looks, she’d at least have developed a personality. What are you going to do?” Brent held out David’s plate in her direction while he continued to ogle Juno’s breasts. “Good Lord, Junie. I swear you were built to reduce a man to seed.”
Cadence’s hand shook, blinking away a tear as her sk
in went soft pink and she served another slice onto David’s plate. Brent blindly put it down in front of David. Juno’s face became more beguiling as she continued to stroke Brent’s arm. “We should fuck. At my place,” Juno said to Brent, laughing. “So Davey could catch us. I’d pay you to see the look on his stupid face.”
“Look, everyone,” David said. “Let’s... Why don’t we forget Ricky and Paulie and all, apparently, only my problems? Let’s enjoy a good meal. Those guys won’t be giving us any trouble for a while, and if they decide to? Well, we’ll deal with that then. Worrying about it now isn’t going to solve anything or answer any questions. And Brent, would it kill you to show Cadence some respect?” Cadence reached out to touch him and he brushed her hand away. “She waits on you hand and foot like a slave and all you can manage to give her in return is one insult after another?”
Stop it, Davey, Cadence cried, reaching out for his arm and missing.
No, Melody. This has gone far enough. If you want to keep listening to them talk about you like you’re nothing, that’s your right. That doesn’t mean I have to. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to him bad-mouth you when I got here, and I’m, sure as hell, not going to listen to it anymore and pretend I’m not hearing it. David looked over at Cadence. Or you can ask me to tell you to leave with me.
David got up from his chair, once again, and stormed around to Brent’s side of the table, picking up the slice of pizza from Juno’s plate, smearing it across her lips and chin, and stuffing it down Brent’s throat. “How does that taste, Brent? Like everything you ever wanted and less?” He smacked Brent across both cheeks harshly, pulled the slice from his mouth and threw it back in Juno’s face. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to your fuckin’ bullshit any longer.” He slapped Brent even harder, seven more times, as Brent cowered, cried and apologised for everything bad he’d ever done. “Now, knock it the fuck off and show Cadence some respect. I just got done dealing with some actual bad men on the phone, before we all sat down. Violent, evil people. And they really pissed me off, so you’d better believe, if you keep this up, I will fuck you up so badly you’ll be breathing through a tube for the rest of your life. Understand?” He slammed Brent’s forehead off the table and punched him in the left temple. Choking him with one hand, as he smacked the living daylights out of him with the other, until he clearly acknowledged he understood.
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