fiX - A ParaBnormal Fairy Tale

by Michael Golvach

“Oh baby. We have to meet, then. Why don’t you come on back? Get away from that loser Davey. Desert his ass. Leave him out there in the backwoods. You’ll never hear from him again. I guarantee you. You’ll be back in smack and making good money doing what you do best before the week is out.”

  “Really? You promise?”

  “Of course, baby. Why would I lie? You weren’t the one wearing a wire. As long as Davey’s dead, we don’t need to make an example out of you. That would be a bad business decision anyway. You can still make me lots of money. If you find it hard to wrap your head around my altruism, I know you can grasp my love of profit. Cash is king, baby. And that mouth of yours can bring it on in. I know that. What do you say?”

  She looked back at the front door. Still hearing David outside, talking to himself about God knows what.

  “Can you make it so he doesn’t know?” she asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Can you kill him while he still thinks I’m straight? A simple favour. Do him first, then get me out. Could you do that?”

  “Sure, Junie. You have my word. You know I make good on my promises. Not like that rat fuck, Davey.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Okay, I’ll do it. When?”

  “We’ll be coming by tomorrow. Now, let me talk to him.”

  “He’s outside in the garage. You think I’d be talking like this with him in the house?”

  “You sure he isn’t listening in? You two trying to play me?”

  Juno shuddered. “No. Ricky, no. I swear. I can go get him if you want. I want to get out. To come back. I don’t want to be scared anymore. I would never do that to you. I never have. It was all Davey. Never me.”

  “No. Don’t go get him. You talk to him and have him call me back. But if you see something. If that weasel is using you to fuck with me, you let me know. As soon as you can. You got it? Make any excuse you have to. If I walk into a fuckin’ trap, I’ll get out of it alive and you can bet your sweet little ass I’ll be holding you personally responsible.”

  The line went dead and Juno’s eyes drifted to the opened door of the bedroom they’d noticed when they first arrived, but never used. She walked over to it and nudged the door open wider. The inside was empty except for a single-person bed and a chest of drawers. Just a room with a door that should have been closed.

  She heard the front door swing open and looked over to see David closing it behind him.

  “What’s that door doing open?” he asked.

  She looked back at him and shrugged. “That’s what I was checking.”

  He walked up to her and looked inside. Maybe he’d forgotten to shut it all the way. Those Guatemalans had been a handful.

  “Who was on the phone?” he asked. “Did Brent work up the nerve to ask you out?”

  “As if,” she said, giggling. “You know he plays the long game, baby. It’ll be another seven years, at least, before he starts trying to kiss me on the cheek. What are you saying, anyway?”

  David sucked on his thumb and stuck it to his forehead.

  “What the fuck is that all about, Davey?” Juno looked afraid and ashamed. “You regressing? It’s not too late to make this whole thing right. Although, if I do manage to make it through this mess alive and we stay here, I’m going to go shack up with Brent and leave you. Too bad, so sad, mother fucker.”

  “How’s that?” He opened the door to the unused bedroom wide.

  “How’s what?” she replied, looking irritated and anxious.

  “Sorry. Misspoke. Who was that? On the phone.”

  “Oh. That was Ricky calling back. He said he could get me back in dope and out on the streets by next week if I handed you over. Naturally, I agreed. I mean, I used to love you, Davey, to a certain extent, but never that much. And, quite frankly, ever since we’ve spent time out here in the middle of this fuckin’ hick graveyard with regular folks, it’s become more and more apparent to me you’re exactly like what I thought you were. You’ve got no vision. No fuckin’ guts at all. You’re pathetic.”

  “What did Ricky want?”

  “He wanted to talk to you, but I told him you’d call him back when you were good and ready. Or when you snapped out of it and turned back into the huge fuckin’ pussy you’ve always been. I can’t believe I wasted so much of my life with you.”

  “Maybe I’ll call him back tomorrow.”

  “You know the offer still stands.” she said. “You can pretend I’m that toothpick from next door and fuck me like you obviously can’t bear to know she’ll never let you. I’ll even tell you how ashamed I am of my behaviour while you make me eat the pillows and drill me like the shamed and utterly disgraced slattern I am. What do you say? By tomorrow, I’m going to be back in Ricky and Paulie’s good graces and you’ll be a corpse, so you might as well get in a good solid fuck before they bury you. Sound like fun?”

  “You really hate me, don’t you?”

  “What? Davey. Why would you say that? I just offered you a night in heaven. Where the fuck is your head at, you fuckin’ jackass?”

  “I can’t take the moral high ground, though. We’ve never been perfect for each other, and maybe it was wrong of me to insist you kick the dope, live clean and do the right thing. Or at least what I thought was the right thing. It’s your life. I had no right to tell you how to live it. You could never stand me and, once we stopped using, I realised we weren’t meant to be together. You’re right, I was too scared. Or whatever. To tell you and let you go. I figured, if I lied to myself for long enough, then you’d start loving me. Like Cadence with Brent. But that’s foolishness.”

  “Okay.” She started to hunch over and sprout claws and fangs. “I don’t know where this is coming from, but go on.”

  “The truth is, though I wanted to believe all that stuff about us, since I met Cadence, I’ve begun to remember what love really means. How it feels when it’s not just desperate need. I realise you never loved me. And I realise I never loved you.”

  “Really? Are you sure it isn’t the act, Davey? Are you sure you don’t ‘love’ her because she’s so lost. Like I used to be when you ‘saved’ me from my horrible existence?”

  “No, not like you.”

  “What? Davey, you’ve been talking nuts all fuckin’ night.”

  “It’s not the act, is what I mean to say. Cadence isn’t putting on an act. That’s the way she is. Maybe part of why I feel attracted to her is because of how she is. Maybe there’s something wrong with me and I fall for women I think need saving. Maybe it makes me feel more like a man. But I was attracted to her before I knew she wasn’t with Brent. To be one hundred percent honest, I wanted you and Brent to vaporise the morning they showed up at our doorstep. The minute she got near me, I wanted her.”

  “This is...” She started to pace and scratch at the floor with her claws. “This is coming from out of left field, but the minute you got near her, you smelt that gamy body cologne she produces naturally. Maybe she reminded you of one of your other crack whore girlfriends.”

  “Or maybe you, when we first met.”

  “What? What the fuck did you say to me? I want an apology right now or, I swear on my life, I am walking right over to our neighbour’s house and I’m going to give Brent what he’s been drooling over since that magical first morning when he lost track of his eyeballs, right in front of your new girlfriend, and ogled me with, like, zero tact while I watched him do it.”

  “Ogling with tact isn’t easy.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I mean. If that’s what you feel you have to do...”

  “If ‘what’ is what I feel I have to do?” she asked, exasperated. “Can you have a conversation on this fuckin’ planet? With me? I swear you’re half a fuckin’ idiot, if that. I can’t believe I trusted you to save me.”

  David sucked on his thumb again. “Sorry about saying that.”

  “That’s okay, baby. I get it. Cadence is sweet. She probably reminds you of your mother.”
>
  “My mother was never around,” David said, starting to look troubled. “At least, I rarely saw her. Hardly remember what she looks like. Just what she felt like. And her smell. Maybe that’s...”

  “That’s not what I meant... Look, you’ll get over it. Whatever it is you’re blabbing about. Seriously, though, what’s with the thumb? Are you getting scared? Because you’re talking like... You’re everywhere at once. I can’t keep up.”

  “No, it’s just—”

  “Look, Davey. I told you I talked to Ricky and I told him you’d call him back as soon as you could. You should call him back tonight. Who knows? By tomorrow he could have his tape and I could be here, happy. Forever. Like you always wanted.” She looked at him and smiled. Her face was so innocent and beautiful, he surely would have believed every word she said if Cadence hadn’t turned him into something more, or less, than human. “By tomorrow, all my problems could be over. You said it yourself. It’s possible. And I believe in you. I came out here with you, didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, you did, Junie. I owe you that much.”

  “Oh baby.” She kissed him on the cheek and licked at his ear. “You know I love you. And I want to give myself another chance. Why don’t you give Ricky a call? Then I can have some fun in the bedroom. It’s been too long. I mean, it hasn’t been that long, but, what can I say? I love you and I love it.”

  David nodded, mouthing “I love you” back to her as he picked up the phone. He mentally apologised to Cadence, but she was nothing but understanding of what he felt necessary to do and say. In point of fact, at that moment, she was still floating around replaying his speech about how he’d felt when they first met, again, and she really didn’t care much for, or about, anything that little so and so Juno said about her. He let her know she had nothing to worry about, with regards to his remaining true to his word about not laying with Juno that evening and, if she really wanted to hear Juno scream, she should stay awake for a little while longer.

  Though she made it a point to remind him she didn’t wish Juno harm, she also told him she would love to and she looked forward to it.

  David dialled Richard’s number and waited.

  “Davey?” Richard asked.

  “It’s your mother. Who the fuck else?” David replied.

  “You’re a funny guy, Davey. Your old lady fuck some good sense into you already? I didn’t realise you were a minute man.”

  “From what I understand, that makes me twenty-four times more durable than you, Ricky. What the fuck do you want?”

  Juno looked at David with a mixture of anger and horror.

  “What do you mean what the fuck do I want? Junie didn’t tell you anything?”

  “She said if we gave you the tape, you’d fuck off and leave us alone.”

  “Yeah, Davey. That’s the gist of it. You sure do make it hard, though, don’t you? You want to watch the mouth?”

  “I’m watching her right now. She’s fine.”

  Juno turned around and pointed to herself, raising her eyebrows, wondering what they were talking about. David shook his head and waved her off.

  “Okay, you’ve established, for the twenty-fifth time, that you’re fuckin’ hilarious. So what’s the story? Do we have a deal?”

  “Yeah, we have a deal.” David watched Juno breathe out a heavy sigh of relief. “You can come and pick up your tape. But I want you to bring everyone. Paulie, all your goons. Everybody. You can leave the cops. If you bring everyone you own, the city will turn into a looting free-for-all overnight.”

  “You want me to bring everyone?” Richard laughed. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, I do. Everyone,” David said. “Everyone. Or it’s no deal and I kill whoever you send and I hunt the rest of you down.”

  “Come on, Davey, give me a fuckin’—”

  “Those are your options. You either bring everyone here and I hand you your tape, maybe one of the cuter Guatemalans gives you a great blow job and you leave, or you don’t bring everyone, I keep the tape, no blow job and you all die. Over time. Badly. Some of you pathetically. Like Franky. Do we understand each other?”

  “Okay.” Richard tried to keep cool as he muffled the mic and someone who sounded like Paul urged him to get the fuckin’ phone call over with. “I’ll bring everyone. Tomorrow okay? Or do you expect me to mobilise everyone I know in the next hour or so?”

  “Tomorrow’s good. What time?”

  “Say between noon and three?”

  “See you then. And my uncle says ‘hi’. He’s looking forward to meeting you.”

  “All right, you crazy bastard. We’ll be seeing you. Later.”

  “Yeah.” He hung up the phone and yawned.

  Juno patted her hands at David as he hung up the phone. Fear in her eyes. “Why, Davey? What the fuck did you do?”

  “I set up the exchange. For tomorrow. Like you already know. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

  “Yeah. No,” she said, backing away. Feeling the floor going soft beneath her. Her eyes beginning to float. “I mean what the fuck are you doing talking to Ricky like that? Begging him to bring out his entire army? Is that some goofy psychological shit you’re trying to pull? Because, baby, he isn’t afraid of you in the least. You’re just pissing him off. You must know that. You do, don’t you? I mean—”

  David pulled her back toward him. “I have something to show you, Junie.”

  Richard hung up his phone and called Paul’s office. It was getting late, but he was hoping Paul was still there.

  Someone who didn’t speak English answered the phone. After Richard shouted the name “Paulie” into the receiver seven times, the phone got handed off to someone else.

  “Yeah, this is Paulie. Who am I talking to?”

  “It’s Ricky. Got news from the front.”

  “Yeah? Our guys finally find the fuckin’ place?”

  “Never heard back. But this is better. Davey wants us to all come up tomorrow, between noon and three, and he says he’ll hand over the tape personally.”

  “Perfect,” Paul said. “You and some muscle go get it.”

  “That’s the thing, Paulie. I’m just telling you so you know I never held out on you. He says if everyone doesn’t show, there’s no tape and he’s going to come and kill us all. One by one. Over years if he has to.”

  “That little fuck? You know what, I believe you. If he did manage to take care of the muscle we sent down, he’s got to be back on the dope. Fixing like a donkey. Probably thinks he’s king of the world. But fuck him. We run this shit. Not his punk ass.”

  “I know,” Richard said. “I was just relaying the message.”

  “Then you and some muscle go there. Alone. Tomorrow. And, before you kill him, you make sure he knows his girlfriend’s going to be back on the smack and hitting the streets that same day.”

  “Well, she wants to. She’s the one who convinced him to come even this close to sane.”

  “Well, fuck, then. That’s perfect. Does he know?”

  “That she sold him out? Not unless she’s as fucked up as he is. That she wants to go back to earning? Probably not that either. I did promise her I’d kill him first though. So he wouldn’t know she was going back to the life when he died.”

  “What? Fuck your promise. As long as it’s a surprise, I want you to end that fuck knowing he didn’t change anything. But in case it’s not... Cripple that back-stabbing bitch before you do him.”

  “But, Paulie. I gave her my word.”

  “Jesus, Ricky. Just this one time. Could you pretend you’re a real fucking bad guy?”

  “Yeah.” Richard shook his head. “Okay. He goes out knowing he fucked up. And what was the other thing? You want me to damage the talent before I cap him? How do you mean?”

  “I don’t know, Ricky. I have to think of everything? Cut off a toe. Don’t make her ugly. Don’t make it so she can’t earn. Be creative.”

  “Okay. I’ll be there tomorrow. I’ll call you as soon as we waste that littl
e fuckin’ rat.”

  “Make sure you get the tape first. And if he doesn’t have it, you can go crazy, like I know you’re dying to, and torture and kill the neighbours.”

  “Everything will be finished by three in the afternoon tomorrow. I personally guarantee it.”

  “Yeah? All right. Get some sleep. You’re going to need a lot of energy keeping the Guatemalans in line tomorrow. Lots of hand gestures and shit, since you still can’t speak a word of Spanish.”

  “You got it, Paulie. Good night.”

  “Night.”

  Richard looked at the ceiling as he hung up his phone. His eyes dreamy. Thinking of all the different ways he could make David suffer before he sent him off to the other side. Coming up with lots of interesting ideas and, eventually, having to grab a piece of paper and a pen to jot them down so he wouldn’t forget any.

  David glanced over at Juno as she continued to paw at his arm. A look of confusion on her face.

  “Why did you say that to Ricky?” she asked. “He was going to let me go. You can’t kill them all. They’re not going to send them all. You know that, right? How fuckin’ far gone are you?”

  “Either way. It’ll give me something to do to forget,” he replied. “Like I said, I have something to show you, Junie.”

  “What? Your fuckin’ balls, Davey? No thanks. I’ll wait until Ricky and his goons roll them out on the chopping block. Are you fuckin’ crazy? You are, aren’t you?” She backed up. “Something changed about you. I should have seen it. Something happened. Before I ever even got here. You and that crooked piece of shit cop. You never had the guts to do that before. You never had the guts to take out your anger on anyone but me, then, all of a sudden, Davey’s a hero. I should have known. You’ve gone right off your fuckin’ nut.” She paced back and forth. “Oh shit. You really are going to get me killed. Or worse.”

  “Us,” he said.

  “Us. What I said, you moron.”

  “Come here, Junie.” He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the unused bedroom. “I want you to see something.”

  “The room’s empty, Davey. Fuckin’ loon.”