Living With the Dead: Year One

by Joshua Guess

  Where we end up is not as important as how we get there. Our group has made the conscious choice not to live in such a way that others have to suffer that we prosper. There will be no tolerance for the wanton fulfillment of the base urges to take, to kill, to control.

  Sounds a little severe, maybe a bit too dramatic?

  Good.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 11:25 AM

  Saturday, April 3, 2010

  A decision

  Apparently, every single person that lives here is insane.

  Since my last post, things have changed a bit. It all started over what to do with our captives. We all sat around and talked about it, opinions varied from outright execution for crimes against (the remainder of) humanity to adopting and rehabilitating the four guys we caught. The discussion evolved into a debate, which quickly broke down into heated argument. Patrick, Jess, Little David and I were all in the middle on it, deciding to act more as moderators than participants. Someone had to keep level to make sure that every aspect of the dilemma was weighed and measured.

  The four of us had to try and head things off before tempers got the better of people. Anyone who has ever met me understands why this is funny; my temper is very bad. But things change, and circumstances often force people to become something to fit a need. In our case, that need was keeping the peace. So we convinced everyone to vote on it, hoping to spark a little of the spirit of democracy. Fat chance! There were so many different viewpoints that no single one got more than a few votes. We were stuck.

  I pointed out that infighting and quarreling would serve no purpose except to make hard feelings and divide us. I reminded them that proof of this existed, in the frustrating way that our government used to run. I went on a spiel about all of this, and as they got quiet and stone-faced, I kept on talking, afraid to stop lest they start yelling at me.

  When I did finally stop, someone suggested that I become our leader. That I make the decisions for us.

  This, they all voted for. Really. Not a single dissenter. I tried to tell them that I didn't want to lead. I have no problem teaching people things, helping them become more efficient at tasks. But to actually be in charge of a community? It's a bit outside my experience. But they shot myriad reasons why they thought I was qualified (most of which I thought proved why I was not so, actually). The one that seemed to grab all of them was that I had been on of the few to see the zombie threat for what it was, at once. That I had been open-minded enough to react when it was needed.

  Bullshit! Shenanigans! I AM A COMIC BOOK NERD! The fact that I spent an unhealthy amount of my time thinking out this exact scenario because I was obsessed with zombie movies, and comics, etc, is a perfect example of how completely unqualified I am.

  But the people were not to be denied. I tried a different tactic--told them that I would do it, but only if I got to make the rules, ratified by a committee of five people that I would choose. Surely, no one would give that kind of power to someone who thinks superman is the greatest culture hero humanity has ever seen. But, they did. The idiots. I hope you are all reading this, and my words make you want to change your votes.

  Mom says this tactic won't work. But then, she's on my committee with Jess, Pat, Little David, and my brother Dave.

  Which brings me to some news. Well, more news. A lot of new people are here, including my Brother, his wife, and their three kids. There are more than two dozen others, from all over the area, and one couple from upstate New York. All of them strangers, and all of them readers of this blog. They all made it here days ago, but fortunately my posts served as adequate warning to stay away until and unless we beat the looters. I can't blame them for not coming to our defense. Not their fight. Now, it is.

  My brother is the person I would have voted for as our leader, but he tells me that he wouldn't have done it. Because no one here saw him fight for the others, or do what I have done to ensure the safety of us all, blah blah blah. It all started out as me protecting my family, and after that, how could I turn people away. I made them work, made them contribute, made them take risks. Doesn't seem to me like I'm all that great, but I give up. If they want me to tell them what to do, I will do that. I will make the rules, and if they don't like them, they can either leave or vote me out.

  Because my purpose is to keep us, our little society, from making many of the mistakes that we made before, second only to keeping us all alive. I will be throwing together a short constitution, a basic charter, sometime in the next few days to the next week. I will be talking with my little council about it, see what we come up with.

  All joking aside, I really am honored, and while I think that others are better suited, I will do my absolute best for them, whether they like it or not.

  What a brave new world.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 8:32 AM

  Sunday, April 4, 2010

  Clarifications

  So far, not too much has changed. Not that I really expected it to. You see, the whole idea of leadership in the here and now isn't anything like the media-driven, personality centric carnival it once was. No one here expects me or whoever they eventually vote into my place to live up on the hill, to come down only to hand out judgement or some commandments. This isn't church, nor is it American politics.

  Essentially, my job is to act as an arbiter on arguments that can't be resolved by whoever has them. This, of course, rose from our problems about the captives. The women who had once been their captives were mostly for execution. I can understand that, and part of me feels the same way. Others were for some sort of forced imprisonment, using them for labor. But come on, we all know how well that was working in the US before society crumbled. None of us are all that interested in starting up bad habits again. So after the vote, I sat down and talked with the committee about it, and we decided on the middle of the road option: we sent them away, exactly as I said was my inclination. It made both sides of the debate unhappy, so apparently we did something right. As I recall, no one was ever truly happy when politicians made decisions about pretty much anything.

  But really, that's about it. My snarky provision that I would be allowed to make rules as I see fit wasn't really taken all that seriously. They know well enough by now, as I would think that anyone around here does, that we try to keep the rules at a minimum. No need to clutter life, which is already harder than most of us could have ever dreamed, with needless strictures that pander to the wants of a few. Instead, we all want the same thing: a basic statement that covers what we stand for, and stand against. That should be clear to all readers by now.

  We support those who want to work together to live, and keep humanity going in our little corner of the world. We want to form a real, lasting community of folks that choose to live in a spirit of cooperation. We are against the ideas that the looters seem to stand for; killing for pleasure, out of rage (or for no reason at all), dominating others through whatever means.

  Anything else we'll adopt as we need to. But we want to keep it simple.

  Other than being the last resort for arguments, I don't have to do anything else to be the "leader". If it helps some of the folks to have someone to blame, then fine.

  Some folks have this idea that I'm supposed to have been voted for in some wave of huge support, like everyone just adores me. That's not the case at all. I got unanimous consent mainly because my core group of friends and I were keeping out of the argument. The rest of them declined even the possibility of being voted for. I don't blame them. I declined, but when it became clear that no one else was even remotely interested, I let them. Hopefully it will stay as simple as I have described it.

  What really helps out for us is that we have here among us some great survivors. No one could have made it this far if they were dependent on others, or stupid, lacking in creativity or drive. Which has worked out great for us. Folks around the compound don't need me or anyone else to hold their hand. They just want a neutral third party who, apparently, worries themselves to death over the
ir well being to settle disputes when no solution can be reached. Which is why I wanted a committee. None of the people on it are inclined to agree with me just for my sake. They all have distinct, reasoned opinions of their own, which is something I value highly in friends and family.

  I am reminded of some of the writings of Robert Heinlein. In Time Enough for Love, he spoke about the importance of keeping societal rules to a minimum in any pioneer situation, which is pretty much where we are. Don't kill unless it's needed, no rape. Basic things. But also no stupid restrictions. Don't meddle in the lives of people. Why try to force anyone to change what they do in their private lives?

  People have been talking about Jess, Me, and Elizabeth. A few talking about how scandalous we are, yadda yadda. Let me clear the air, because the whispers behind my back annoy me.

  There is nothing going on. Period. Elizabeth planted her kiss on me in a moment of happy victory, but I made it clear to her afterward that I was not interested in what she was offering. While I find her attractive, I don't think her interest in me is genuine. In high school, I was her safe person to come back to when she was out of a relationship, and I have NO desire to move backward in that fashion. I am a different person now, and if she wants to have a familiar face as her comfort blanket, she will have to hope that another old flame shows up. Because she's not staying in our house.

  Jess is neutral on this. She has some very open views on relationships and sexuality, but they aren't my views. I try not to be held back by what others think, but for me, right now, I need the stability of my marriage and only that. Maybe I will regret that and change my mind down the road, but for now, I am content.

  Hope that clears up the situation as of now. I'm not Barack Obama. I am, at most, the vice principal of a school, able to be overruled on anything by those I trust to keep my choices honest. No power, no prestige. Doing guard duty just like always.

  It's nice to have so many people here, by the way. Construction has picked up a lot, and enough houses are reinforced that Jess and I are now blessedly alone in ours, for the first time in a month.

  Time for a nap.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 4:41 AM

  Monday, April 5, 2010

  Road Trip

  I haven't really celebrated Easter in a long time. I grew up catholic but stopped going to church years ago. Call it the general malaise that many folks feel about religion, the gradual starvation of faith from lack of miracles.

  Today, though, feels pretty miraculous.

  I have a lot of friends and family out of state, or at least I used to. I haven't gotten very specific with a lot of them, for several reasons. I don't like to dwell on how many of the people I know and love must be dead, and mentioning them here doesn't help that. As well, there must be dozens of them, and it would be unfair to the memories of all to mourn one but ignore others.

  Imagine my surprise that my mom finally, after all these weeks, got in touch with my sister. She lives in Illinois with her family, and we lost contact with her very early on. We tried and tried, to no avail.

  Now, though, mom has gotten word. They are holed up many hours from their home, having tried to get to southern Illinois from their home up north, not realizing how badly the southern part of the state was hit. So it looks like I have another trip to my old stomping grounds planned out.

  Jackie and her family aren't the only ones we will be going for. Courtney, one of my best friends and wife of Steve, has asked that we search out our friend Treesong, who lives in the same area. Tree is a good friend of mine, and very close to Courtney and Steve, and since I will be there anyway...

  I realize that I am talking like it's only me that will be going on this daring rescue mission, but that's not true. We had a pretty easy time getting Courtney and Steve out, but things can't have improved in that area since, so we are preparing a bit more this time. That area of the country is so thick with zombies that we are worried about even being able to drive through it this time around. I will be going, as will Steve, Jess, Patrick, and Dave, my brother. I have asked Courtney to stay here and keep an eye on things.

  You see, when the argument was raging over what to do about the captive looters, most everyone decided that since none of them could agree on what to do, they needed an impartial person that everyone agreed on to make the call. Courtney was a loud dissenter to them putting the burden on me, being a good friend and not wanting the stress of that to fall on me. She argued for a council (which we also got anyway), saying that no one person should have to be the scapegoat for the indecision of others. It became clear, though, that none of them were going to bend, and she eventually relented and cast her vote for me as well, after she and I talked about it. She is, like Patrick, Little David, and others, more friend than I deserve. She is also the perfect person to cover while I am away. She doesn't like the way the people here have put the onus of tough decisions on one person, but she has agreed that it's the only way to keep folks happy.

  It shouldn't be any real work for her, to be honest. It isn't for me, since we have no issues at present that require an arbiter. I haven't had to make a call on anything since we let the looters go, and since the compound is in agreement on most everything else at present, my hope is that things will run just as smoothly for her, in my absence.

  Keep an eye out for a post or two by her on here, in addition to any posts I put out.

  I need to go and help Dave with the last minute alterations we are making to that school bus that was abandoned down the road. He added a platform on top to shoot from yesterday, and right now he's out there working with the generators humming, giving him light and power for his welding gear. He really is a genius. He's armoring parts of the inside with sheet metal, so we can duck behind them if we get shot at. He wants some help adding in a huge backup gas tank, because we probably won't find any after we leave here. Patrick is out right now, gathering as much diesel fuel as he can find for the trip. Jess is loading up all of the food, weapons, and ammo we will need. Steve is securing a rope ladder to the top, so we can get people in without opening the door. We aren't going into this blindly, I promise you that.

  Jackie, her husband, and all four of their kids, along with whatever friends we have left in southern Illinois, are coming back with us, and we will make sure they get here safely. We leave as soon as the modifications are done. Dave will likely sleep the whole way there, he's been doing so much work on the bus. We'll have to throw some mattresses in there, come to think of it.

  Jess is yelling for me. It's sort of becoming my sign off call. I write way too much. Going to grab some police armor on my way out the door, along with a few gi and some chainmail. She's had people working on that for a few days now.

  Next time you read a post of mine, with luck, we will be in southern Ill. Though we moved away from there a long time ago for the green hills of Kentucky, and though the world has moved on quite a long way since then, somehow it still feels like going home again.

  Wish us luck.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 4:51 AM

  Tuesday, April 6, 2010

  Great Wall of Williamson County

  The drive is one I have made many, many times, though never before in something that still mostly resembles a school bus. We are sitting on interstate 57 south, just outside of Marion, Illinois. We didn't go this far last time, having taken an earlier exit to get to Courtney and Steve's faster. I don't know if this mess was here before, but we certainly have to deal with it now.

  From one side of the road to the other, from tree to tree, is a huge pile of debris. Cars, trees, bodies, furniture, and what looks like the contents of several semi trucks. Oh, and the semi trucks themselves. We are about a hundred yards away, staring at it, all of us sort of struck dumb. Dave is mumbling to himself, tracing the outlines of parts of the pile. This is a good sign, and a frightening one. It means he is actively using that overactive brain of his to come up with a solution. Bad, though, because I have seen him doing the same thing immediatel
y prior to something going incredibly, if creatively, wrong. I have to wonder which way this will go.

  The plan is pretty simple. We go to Marion, find my sister and her family, get them out. We plan to keep all of them hunkered down behind one of the armored sections until we get to relative safety, at least, my sister and the kids. I won't turn away her husband if he wants to help us out. Every body helps. But neither will I blame him if he wants to stay hidden and safe. They haven't had an easy time of it, especially with four kids.

  Dave is fiddling with some supplies in the back of the bus. I can't see what he's doing, but he's still mumbling, and I'm pretty sure there is math involved. A chill is running up my back.

  After we get out of Marion, we head toward Carterville. This is where Courtney and Steve are from, and I have some more family there. Jess and I couldn't find any of them last time around, but a twenty minute drive around is the minimum I need to keep myself happy. I need to try. I doubt that we will find anyone after this much time, but hope is one of those parts of the human mind that could reasonably be described as rationalized insanity.