Living With the Dead: Year One

by Joshua Guess

  I am still spending my days avoiding this place. Jess and I are gearing up to go out and secure some more big supplies we need for the wall, and to survey some places for logging, as well as trying to find some flatbeds to transport timber on. This is important work, and while I openly admit to shirking my administrative duties, I don't feel bad about it. Because the fact is, I get more of value done going out and killing zombies around areas we need to utilize than I do behind a desk. I still get the important stuff taken care of, but I refuse to let the same people who have been beating me down with demands and criticism take away my personal choice. So I do most of my work when folks get home for the day, when they have less chances to bother me.

  I am going to be making these runs out into town to clear out zombies pretty often in the near future, because it is far more important to get the supplies to build the wall than to be micromanaged by nitpicking people who want solutions to every little problem.

  Oh, yeah. Just because I could, I made sure last night, after I found out that I am still in charge, to put it down as law that certain social behaviors are, FOR SURE, totally accepted and legal. Like homosexuality, multiple partner relationships of any type, and similar. Yeah, I know that it seems weird to "legalize" homosexuality, but the way our few gay folks have been treated seemed to demand consequences for harassment.

  So all of you who don't like the fact that people can freely do things that go against your personal (and narrow, and stupid) beliefs, feel free to leave if you can't live with the idea that people should be free to live their lives without you elbowing your way into it.

  I'm sick of hearing it.

  We're working on a bill of rights. This is part of it. More to come when I have time.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 9:30 AM

  Thursday, May 13, 2010

  Manufacturing

  Today is a new day, and I feel pretty good. I spent the morning working with the council and a few others on a bill of rights, and most of us feel it's pretty solid. The nuts and bolts of the compound are running more or less smoothly at the moment, which means that duty rosters are worked out for the next week, the walls are manned, and people are fed and watered. In fact, I feel kind of scared about how well that is all working.

  Because, of course, many people are still unhappy. Not the general "we live in a world of zombies" unhappy, but the more specific issues that have come up lately. But I will rant about them some other time, because today is a very important day.

  One of our folks went out as a scout yesterday, to help in our search for more supplies to build the wall with, and he struck gold. He found a heavy equipment dealer in some county way to the south of here that I have never heard of that has some choice trucks and other machines used for cutting, transporting, and finishing lumber. This is a HUGE deal, as it will allow us to really get the walls how we want them, and given the rather copious trees around here, we can build them as big as we like.

  So we are halting all construction at the moment, because we will need every available body here to maintain sufficient guards on watch. A bunch of us are going to have to go on this trip, my brother and I included. It will take us several hours to get there, god knows how long to load things up and possibly find gas if what we take with us isn't enough, and likely most of a day to get back.

  This isn't like some of my other trips. No small group dashing in to pull out people. This is an expedition, and it seems to be drawing people together in common purpose. I like to see that. Yeah, folks are still upset, but knowing that we will be able to manufacture a lot of what we need is more uplifting than I had ever thought possible.

  We will be leaving in the morning, at least twenty of us, if not more, and with luck, we can make it back in three days. But knowing our luck with trips out amongst the living dead, I won't be making bets on that.

  Jess is staying home on this one.

  She's two weeks overdue. I'm smiling.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 11:39 AM

  Friday, May 14, 2010

  Pit Stop

  We're stopped at the moment at a gas station just outside of Harrodsburg. It was a late start today, a swarm broke through again at the main entrance, and it was a tough time cleaning them up. They didn't act like any zombies I have seen so far. The usual behavior is to group together and mob their prey; these broke up and spread out.

  I am surprised and proud to say, our four remaining prisoners were eager to get out and hunt them down. One of them told me that they all felt guilty, wanted to do what they could to make up for their behavior. It's a start, and a good one so far as that goes.

  We took off an hour ago, and my brother remembered this little gas station off the beaten path, and they have diesel fuel, a lot of it. We are loading our backup tanks with all we can carry, just in case the town we're headed to is short.

  There are twenty five of us, and you wouldn't believe the amount of stuff we brought with us. Camping gear, food, weapons...we are prepared for whatever might come while we try to move all the equipment.

  We're done loading gas. We'll be on our way shortly. I hope that everything remains well back home.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 10:50 AM

  Saturday, May 15, 2010

  It's Just Like 'Oregon Trail'

  We're about halfway done getting all of the equipment loaded onto trucks, or ready to roll over the open road in our convoy. We have done the old wagon train, circling all these giant metal machines around us so we can camp in relative safety. A few zombies have popped up as we have been working, but no big groups, and nothing we can't handle.

  The real trick is only taking what we can take and not getting too greedy. There are a lot of things here that we could certainly use, but we just don't have the gas or the manpower to get them home. It is pretty frustrating to know all of it is here while we will be going home...but, that doesn't mean that we can't return at some point in the future.

  One thing we are most certainly taking with us: solar panels. I did not expect to find any here, but apparently the person that owned this place was crazy about being green (or maybe just planned to never pay for electricity again) because all four of the buildings on the property are covered in them. We have two people working like mad to get them down, and get all of the inverters and wiring loose by the time we leave. This is too good a chance to pass up-- this much paneling could at least give lights to the whole compound. If we find a bank of batteries, we'll be in heaven, but we can make do with scavenged car batteries if need be.

  One of the folks unbolting the panels is yelling...sounds like a warning. Must be a herd moving this way.

  Time to break out the firearms. I will try to post later today if I can, but if this is a big group then it may be the morning before I have time. We will be leaving in the AM.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 11:54 AM

  Sunday, May 16, 2010

  Standstill

  We're under attack. Halfway home, and we are at a standoff with a bunch of guys that look ex-military, trying to take all of the equipment from us. More when we are safe, but things are looking grim. We have lost two people so far, and we are outgunned and outnumbered. The only thing keeping them away from us is the fact that we have superior cover, and our sharpshooters can pick them off at will.

  It helps that they are having to fight off pockets of zombies drifting through, while we are able to climb up on all of this massive machinery and ignore them for the time being. We are used to dealing with situations like this, and if there is a way out of it, we will find it. Damn the luck that made us leave late today...

  I will try to get back on here later. Writing from the floorboard of a semi truck isn't easy.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 4:32 PM

  Monday, May 17, 2010

  Replication Is Key

  We made it home. The fight didn't really pick back up after my post yesterday. We slowly picked off a lot of their numbers, and stayed under cover. It was a slow process, it took a lot of patience,
but we got it done. Our attackers fled when they realized they didn't have enough people left to take us by force, and we limped home, bringing our machines with us.

  While we were gone, a huge wave of zombies broke into the compound. We were still cleaning up this morning, until about an hour ago. No fatalities, since they came in through the south and had to slow down to maneuver through the woods, giving everyone plenty of time to get to safe locations. The work of gathering all the bodies is still ongoing, and the fire pits are going to need shoveling after this group, but all in all I think things went well.

  We are getting attacked more often than usual as of late, and that scares the shit out of me. We have less time to repair our slowly disintegrating wall of cars, and our permanent wall is nowhere close to being even partially done. I don't know if these escalating zombie attacks mean anything, but my stomach hurts a little thinking about the possibilities.

  Some of you might have caught it the other day, but today I will confirm: My wife, Jessica, is pregnant. Evans says she is about a month along, and seems to be pretty healthy. I am torn. I have always loved kids and wanted to have some of my own (Jess is neutral on it) but I never really thought that it would happen. I mean, we have been together a long time and have never taken precautions, so I just sort of thought it wasn't going to happen. Now, I am terrified about the life my child will be born into. My innate need to provide safety and security is amped up to nigh-epic levels. I am excited, and scared, and happy, and ten other emotions, and kind of nauseous. Mom tells me this is normal.

  Things around the compound are relatively quiet on the social side of things, people aren't mobbing me like they were, though I still get a few. There is a lot of quiet talk going on, and a lot of it stops if I walk by, but that is just fine with me. I have never been one of those people who needs to know how everyone feels about me, or what they think. I do, however, expect them to follow the rules like the rest of us, and to be civil when debating issues. Because my kid is going to be raised in a place where violence is a concept that only comes from outside, and the only response to disagreement of any kind within is words, careful and concise.

  Well, I have a huge pile of work to start in on, and half my day is gone. I will be getting back to it, but never fear, I will be back tomorrow.

  On a totally random note--I really, really miss yogurt. I loved Yoplait something fierce, and only today, when I got a mad craving for it, did I realize how long it has been since I had it, and that I will never eat it again. Ah well, on to my paperwork.

  Posted by Josh Guess at 11:48 AM

  Self-Governance Challenges

  [Posted by Treesong]

  For years now, I've wanted to be part of a small self-governing community of people. If you had told me a year ago that I would be living in one today, surrounded by several long-time friends and a host of new acquaintances, building new structures and putting in crops together, it would have sounded like a dream come true. Given the circumstances, however, it's been more like a nightmare.

  As I've said over and over again, what we're doing here is more than just surviving. We are laying the groundwork for the formation of a new society. And most of us in the Compound here are doing the best that we can with the resources at hand. Even in the best of circumstances, creating a new society from the ashes of the old is challenging work. But here, in a hellish landscape constantly under siege by the living dead, it's nearly impossible.

  First of all, I want to commend everyone for holding this place together. I want to thank Josh and Jess for getting the ball rolling, and I want to thank everyone else for staying relatively sane and productive and cooperative for these past few weeks, even as we are surrounded by what to this day seems to be no less than a massive plague of Zombies.

  Sure, we don't have the lab equipment here to determine if there is actually some virus involved, or if this is a supernatural phenomenon. But for all intents and purposes, we are surrounded by Zombies -- and for the most part, we have done our best to fend them off, and strengthen our fortifications here at the Compound, and prepare for our future survival. To be honest, given the circumstances, I'm very impressed that we've made it this far, and thrilled and somewhat relieved to see that we have some serious prospects for a long-term future.

  But there is still room for improvement.

  Yes, we are still in the midst of a crisis. Yes, there do seem to be more Zombies around here recently for some reason, and it's going to take everything we've got just to stay alive. But if we want to ensure that this Compound of ours continues being something worth living for -- and worth dying for -- then we need to improve our systems of self-governance just as fervently as we are improving our systems of perimeter defense and scavenging.

  We've already made progress. Punishments have been reduced; the accused are offered aid in their defense; people of all faiths and orientations are openly affirmed as being allowed to live here; and we are working on a constitution and a bill of rights for our community. Many thanks to Rich, Chris, Courtney, and others -- and yes, Josh too -- for your help in this.

  But there is still more progress to be made. We need to ratify this constitution and bill of rights to ensure that everyone has basic human rights, and that everyone has a direct voice in the major decisions of this community.

  This may seem like heady intellectual work that has to take a back seat to more practical security concerns. But the recent incident with the vandals and its consequences demonstrate that our operating principles (or lack thereof) can have very serious and very real consequences. Once we get our head space and our social system straight, life will go more smoothly around here. Even with our Council and Josh, there is still a lot of chaos and uncertainty here, and it's important that we start organizing around principles and policies and solid strategies rather than flying by the seat of our pants and hoping for the best.

  I've got to get to sleep soon because I've got to get up in the morning and work. But before I go, I need to say one last thing -- the thing I actually came here to say.

  The whippings Josh mentioned were important -- but not for the reasons some people seem to think. To me, they were important because they reawakened my sense of compassion and respect for the humanity of people who I was otherwise very bitter and angry with.

  I won't deny that I felt a certain sense of satisfaction at the sight of the punishment being executed. These convicts are a group of people who spread hate speech against me personally, and several of my closest loved ones, and a few other people who I don't know well but believe to be good people. These convicts are also a group of people whose actions lead to our weakened defenses, which in turn lead to the needless death of a small child.

  So yes, I felt a certain satisfaction seeing them punished for what they'd done. The sound of the whip smacking against their flesh satisfied every bit of my urge to beat the living shit out of them for all of their hate and their role in the death of little Lindsey. But somehow, I also felt a great sense of repulsion and sickness at being a party to their whippings.

  When someone cries out in pain, I want to help them, even if I don't like them. Yes, five lashes isn't that bad. It's a lot less than what was originally proposed, and they seemed to take it well for the most part. And it's a hell of a lot less than what Lindsey endured at the hands of the Zombies. But even so, it was very difficult for me watching those punishments carried out. I felt a sickening churning in my stomach, and a sickening sense of responsibility, even though I opposed the lashings.

  I doubt I will ever like the people in question. I also doubt that they will ever like me. But they took their whippings, and now they're taking their hard labor. They were hard workers before this madness, and they are hard workers once again.

  For the record, I am opposed to the whippings. Banishment is acceptable to me under the right circumstances because people who can't abide by our social contract can feel free to look for a better one with the Zombies. Hard labor is also acceptable to me,
assuming the person is physically capable of it, because it's a form of restitution. But the whippings seem like cruel and unusual punishment to me, and I'm not alone in this perspective.

  This is a civil disagreement. We live in harsh times, and people who disagree on this point can live together in the same community. But as people think about whether or not these lashings were a good thing, I just want people to think about the future. Do we really want to build a new society with whippings? It's something that we've adopted now because of the state of crisis we're living in, but I hope and pray that we will change our minds on this point in the near future. Today's community will be the foundation of tomorrow's society, and I hope our children can grow up to inherit a society that is not founded on this approach to justice.

  Posted by Treesong at 11:32 PM

  Tuesday, May 18, 2010