“Why’re you afraid?” he asked.
“I’m not,” she blurted, too fast. If he knew she was a virgin, maybe he’d refuse her, too. It was better if he believed she was an experienced woman, because her body no longer cared about honor and pride. She wanted to know the pleasures of the flesh. If she was destined to become an old maid, she at least wanted some memories to reflect on during the long, cold nights alone.
“Then why are you shivering? If I didn’t know any better I’d say you weren’t used to a man’s touch.” He released her pinned arms. The blood pooled into her hands in a rush, creating thousands of pinprick sensations. “That’s hard to believe seeing how beautiful you are.”
She felt defensive, determined to maintain her ruse. “I’ve been touched plenty. I was with Matthew just last week.” She left out the fact they hadn’t actually had intercourse. Josh frowned, not at all pleased.
“I don’t want to hear about Matthew now.” His voice was dominant, carrying a hint of a threat. She liked this possessive side to him. “Touch me.”
“What?”
He practically ripped off his own checkered shirt, one of the buttons flying off into the long grass along the house. “I want to feel your little hands on me. Don’t be shy. Like you said, you have plenty of experience.”
Josh was so close to her, only a breath separating their bodies. His chest looked rock hard, his nipples small, brown, and tempting. She desperately wanted to test those taut muscles for herself. What the hell was holding her back? This was what she wanted.
She tentatively reached out and laid a palm on his pec. His flesh was much warmer than hers. She’d never had the pleasure of exploring a man’s body. Cindy let her hands roam—lower. His abs were ripped, and her fingers traced each toned ridge on their descent. As she neared his big silver buckle she discovered a trail of dark hair.
“Keep going,” he coaxed. Did she dare? She was certainly curious but terrified of the unknown at the same time.
“I–I can’t.”
“Unbuckle me.” His words were more than an order. They were final. He was confident in his authority, and it made her more anxious to comply.
Cindy slid the leather through the buckle and proceeded to unbutton his Wranglers. They were already low on his hips, displaying the sharp muscled V and trail of hair which led to the hard bulge below. Her fingers began to shake as she fiddled with the stubborn zipper. Before she could succeed at unzipping him, he grabbed her wrist and pushed it to the side.
He was like an animal now, feral and one-sighted. Josh crushed his mouth to hers, kissing her with unexpected passion. She responded, needing him, needing this. His tongue played with hers. He was pure energy, unable to take enough. She felt overwhelmed but still ready to give him what he wanted.
“I’m hot all over,” she confessed on the shadow of a breath.
“I’ll fix that, baby girl. It’s my intention you leave this ranch satisfied.” He forgot about his own pants, now focused on hers. Josh unbuttoned her jeans and immediately forced them down her hips. The gentle breeze cooled the moisture built up between her legs. My leg. Cindy couldn’t allow him to continue undressing her. Reality shattered her lust-filled haze. How had she slipped so deep into his seduction?
She fought him, attempting to fumble his hands. He was stronger, just as determined to have his way. Josh continued to kiss her face, her neck. He was in a near frenzy and it was addicting, tempting her to let loose and not worry about the consequences.
“Josh, I can’t…”
“Stop teasing.” He cupped her mound, slipping one finger under the thin lace, impaling her pussy. “You’re dripping wet.”
She could do this, couldn’t she? Cindy didn’t want the curse of virginity clinging to her into her old age. It was bad enough she was so naïve at twenty-seven.
“I lied,” she said. Cindy let out a lengthy groan when he wiggled his finger inside her, hitting her G-spot. “I am scared.”
He chuckled. “I won’t hurt you. Much.” Josh used his knee to try and lower her jeans. They were midway down her thighs, too close to revealing her prosthesis.
Should she tell him she was a virgin? Maybe he’d be gentler or maybe he wouldn’t want to bother with her at all. What about her leg? Should she tell him about it rather than let him discover it for himself? Her mind raced, calculating the outcome of numerous possible scenarios for all her worries. At the same time, her body melted into Josh’s touch, desperate to forget everything and just feel.
“I don’t want my pants off,” she said. “It’s too much trouble. Just leave them on.” Cindy held his wrist to keep him from pushing the material further down.
“It’s kind of necessary. Don’t worry, my brother’s in town. He won’t be back for hours.”
She made a split-second decision and kicked off one pant leg, tugging up the other side. “That should be good enough,” she said before kissing him. Her plan worked. He was distracted by her kiss as much as she was. Cindy couldn’t believe the power a simple joining of the lips could create. It connected them, making her feel like they were one. She hoped he felt the same way, but at the same time she feared a future without lies.
“I’ve been dreaming about this moment since the first time I saw you step out of your truck.” He hoisted her up against the side of the house with unexpected ease. She gasped, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “I don’t think I’ve had a good night’s sleep since.”
Josh tore her thin panties off the side of her body, burning a streak in their wake. She couldn’t easily wrap her legs around him like in the movies, not with her awkward prosthesis, but she tried her best. This was it. She was going to lose her virginity to Josh Granger, one of the most eligible bachelors in the province.
“I’ve never done this before,” she said as soon as he opened the flap of his jeans.
“I know, darlin’. I never took you for a fast one. It wasn’t until you showed up at my ranch that I finally understood love at first sight.”
She wanted to laugh at the lies, but Cindy also desperately wanted those sweet words to be real. How many cowboys had said the same lines? She was immune to all the flowery words. Then why was she falling for them right now? Why did she crave Josh’s acceptance so intensely?
“Love is just a four-letter word, Josh.”
Cindy felt the smooth, broad head of his cock as he ran it along her moist slit. Her body tensed. Would he fit? Would it hurt? Would he somehow know she was a virgin and find humor in the fact?
“You’re right,” he said. “What matters is the man those words come from.”
Then he thrust. In one fluid stroke he filled her cunt, erasing her innocence in a heartbeat. She never felt the pain of a hymen, but then again, she’d been riding horses since she would walk. There was a unique fullness and thousands of electric impulses scattering throughout her body. It was exquisite, not the burdensome moment she’d conjured up in her imagination.
She held him tight, as if she’d be lost if she didn’t. He began to ride her against the side of his house, the rough bricks scraping her rear with each upthrust of his hips. As if he realized the problem, his hands cupped her ass, providing a protective layer for her skin.
“I can’t believe how good you feel, Cindy. Hot. Tight.” He nipped her ear, licked her neck, and kissed her lips. Occasionally he’d tell her something which made her internally sigh. So beautiful. Precious. Mine.
“Josh, don’t leave me,” she said as her orgasm began to near. A great surge of emotion seemed to swell inside her as he fucked her. The moment felt so good, so compete, but she was living a lie. He was making love to the woman he thought she was. Losing her virginity was a blessing in her eyes but also a new page in her life. It was bittersweet saying good-bye. She tried to disguise her sniffles as he sank his thick cock into her pussy, over and over. His pace increased with each passing minute, triggering her orgasm.
This was different than Matthew’s mouth. More satisfying. The m
ale fullness inside her was exactly what she was missing. It erased the itch deep within, releasing a massive peak which caught her off guard.
“Josh!” she cried out. Her pussy clamped down, milking his cock on its own volition. She was just a pawn at this point, going along for the wild ride.
“Good girl. Scream my name all you want.” He fucked her harder, faster. Her hypersensitive walls were afire as he continued to thrust. He buried one hand deep into her hair, grabbing a handful. As he met his peak, he made the most animalistic sounds, yanking her head to the side by the hair. She loved the sharp tug of pain and the ruggedness of Josh as he lost all humanity.
If this was sex, she was glad her days of celibacy were over.
Chapter Eleven
Matthew heaved the last sack of feed onto his truck and jumped down from the loading dock.
“Thanks, Matthew. See you next week,” said Mr. Wilder.
He dipped his hat in respect. “Have a good day, sir.” The older man was short staffed, and Matthew wouldn’t have him hauling eighty-pound sacks of feed at his age. There was nothing wrong with loading his own goods. As Mr. Wilder disappeared into the back door of the feed centre, Matthew dug into his front pocket for his truck keys.
“Long time no see.”
Josh Granger was leaning against his driver’s side door, one foot propped up on the running board. They’d been friends since the Granger family moved into town almost a decade ago. He could relate to the other cowboy in a way. Matthew was on his own now or soon would be. All his siblings were off and married, and his parents would be moving south soon, not even leaving him with the family ranch. It was too much for him to run on his own regardless, but he couldn’t help but feel displaced and unneeded.
His neighbor had recently lost his daddy and only had a younger brother left on their family farm. But Josh had one thing Matthew was running low on—money. Well, money and that certain something that attracted the opposite sex like moths to a flame. All Matthew’s siblings seemed to marry into wealth, but there was no way he’d crawl to his kin for a handout. He’d make his own way even if he had to work as a laborer on another man’s land. Hard work didn’t scare him. He’d been working the ranch on his own since Grant left home to marry Clay Roberts’s little sister.
“I’ve been lucky. Angel’s men haven’t been on my case lately. It looks like they’re finally getting their new cattle operation to run smoothly.”
It had been over two weeks since he’d picked up that load of hay from Josh and met the woman who’d decided to forget him like yesterday’s trash. Cindy was a ghost from the past, drifting back into his life like an apparition, only to disappear again.
“I wanted to talk to you, but not about hay.”
“Oh?”
“You see Cindy Taylor around lately?”
They were going to talk women? “Not since she was here two weeks ago.”
“When you had dinner with her?”
He gave his friend a slight shove in the shoulder so he could get in his truck. He had no explaining to do, no matter how much venom was in Josh’s voice. Cindy wasn’t a married woman, and last time he checked, Josh was busy playing the field. “What’s it to you?”
“Nothing. I was gonna warn you to keep your distance, but seeing as you haven’t had contact with her, it makes no sense now.” Josh’s body visibly relaxed, but his face still looked troubled.
“You saying you two are an item now?” As impossible as it seemed, it would make sense. Cindy never called on him again after their afternoon of sexual experimentation. He hoped they’d had a connection, especially with their long history. Everything seemed to have gone so well that fateful afternoon. But she either had a change of heart or never really wanted him at all. Matthew had moved on with life, because he had enough troubles on his plate. There was no time to slow down life just to puzzle over the mind of a woman. But the brush-off cut him deep enough that he nearly fell out of the hayloft days earlier. He frequently lost himself to daydreams these past couple weeks. He could see a future with a sweet girl like Cindy. It just wasn’t meant to be.
“Yes. No. Fuck, I have no clue.”
“What are you blathering on about?” He climbed up into the driver’s seat and pulled the metal door shut. The windows were wide open as the weather was dry and hot, as usual.
“That damned girl. I don’t know whether I’m going or coming. One day I’m positive I’ve met the right one and the next she disappears.”
He laughed. “Josh Granger losing sleep over a woman? I never thought I’d see the day. I was sure you were made of bolt and screws, not flesh and blood.”
“God dammit, I’m serious, Garner!” Josh ran both hands through his hair, pacing a small area. A man possessed. “Am I supposed to call her? Forget her? What?”
He’d never seen his friend so frazzled by a woman, if ever. “You’re asking the wrong man, Josh. If it were my choice, she’d be coming home with me.” Matthew felt he had precedence. He’d known Cindy since before she could walk.
Josh braced his hands on roof of the truck, leaning close. “You sure you’d want her now? We did a lot more than discuss irrigation strategies, if you know what I mean.”
Matthew felt heat surge under his collar and race up his neck. Where was all the hostile energy coming from? His muscles tensed. He wanted to lash out, to strike Josh Granger right in the face for deflowering the woman he loved.
He rammed the door open, shoving Josh back, and jumped out of his truck. “You have some nerve taking from that sweet girl. A virgin no less. Makes no difference that I was a gentleman with her when you just take, take, take. It’s no wonder she doesn’t want to show her face in town again.”
“She was no blushing virgin. The girl even insisted on keeping her pants on. But it’s no matter. You heard what I said—she has me full-on smitten.”
Matthew ground his teeth together so hard his jaw ached.
“Cindy had never been with a man. And the reason she kept her pants on was…” Should he even tell the truth if Cindy obviously tried to keep it a secret? It was obviously an issue for her, even when they were together. He recalled their years growing up together. She’d gone through hell and back thanks to the bullies in their small school. But he had to tell Josh. If his friend was as serious about her as he claimed, an artificial leg shouldn’t dissuade him from courting her. If it did, he didn’t deserve her.
“Was what?”
“She has a birth defect on one leg.”
“So…”
“It’s a big fucking deal for her, so it should be for you, too.”
“I could care less about some silly little birthmark. I’m thirty-four, Matthew. I look for more than just big tits in a woman these days.”
“She wears a prosthesis. Cindy has no lower leg.”
Although he didn’t appear to be playing, Matthew was known as the town clown. Matthew was just trying to freak him out, to get even for sleeping with the girl he’d briefly dated.
“You’re full of shit. I think I’d notice.”
“She kept her pants on. You said so yourself.”
He tried to remember everything that had been said during their different encounters. Was it possible? She walked perfectly, carrying herself with a feminine grace, and never mentioned a thing. However, there were times she looked to have a slight limp or did things differently. Nothing to set off a warning light. But there was a wall there, a deep-seated insecurity he thought came from being burned by a past lover. Not this.
Josh shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”
“Would it make a difference if it were true?” His friend watched him through slanted eyes, his arms crossed over his chest.
“Yeah. Only because it would mean she lied to me.”
Matthew scoffed. “No, she just didn’t tell you. And it’s no wonder since you’ve only ever dated women that look like supermodels. You’re the most superficial cowboy in town. If I were you, I’d run the other way. Becau
se if you hurt her…” There was an uncomfortable silence between them. It grew like a living force, carrying the weight of the world in emotion. “Just stay away.”
The youngest Garner brother wasn’t a fighter like his brothers, but Josh still heard the threat loud and clear. Matthew also had the muscle to back himself up if he chose to make an aggressive move. Maybe he was right. If she had serious shit to deal with, maybe it was best for him to find a woman elsewhere. He had enough troubles. Missing a leg wasn’t the same as having an appendectomy scar or burn mark. It was a life-altering disability that Josh wasn’t sure he could deal with.
“I’ll stay away.” He walked off, heading to his own truck around the corner.
Once he was alone, sitting behind his steering wheel, he froze. He stared out into the barley fields behind the feed centre, lost in thought. Cindy’s beautiful face continually flashed in his head—her eyes, her hair, and her pink pouty lips. From what he’d seen, she was perfect.
Josh slammed a fist into the dashboard console. Pain sluiced through his nerves, his knuckles taking the brunt of the abuse. He shook out his hand, cursing himself. It may be in his best interest to walk away from Cindy, but he still couldn’t stop obsessing over her. What did it mean? Certainly he was too young for a midlife crisis. He just needed to man the fuck up and move on with his life. And forget Cindy Taylor.
By the time he got home he was an emotional basket case. He needed to finish his chores around the ranch so he could drown his sorrows in a case of Molson. Maybe he’d take his stallion out for a gallop first, feel the wind rush through his hair as it carried his troubles away. Wishful thinking.
“Hey! Oakley called. Number’s on the kitchen table,” Adam called out from the holding paddock. Just the word “Oakley” excited him because he associated it with Cindy.
He hurried into the kitchen, dropping down on a cracked, vinyl upholstered seat. Without thinking, he began punching numbers into the phone on the table.
The Reluctant Virgin [Ride 'em Hard 6] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 9
