He nodded, giving her that same sympathetic look that everyone who cared for her had given her for months. “Gott has blessed us with you and you with us. Your heart will heal in time.”
Since then, Mary Ruth had been feeling a little more secure. She had met many of the neighbors in the community, but not all of them yet. She would be meeting those she hadn’t today. It was ironic that the initial nervousness she had felt when first arriving, played with her again, making her stomach turn over and her mind a bit chaotic. She had just begun to notice that her baby was growing and could now be seen as her apron protruded out from her belly.
The sun was still hidden behind a few clouds as they set out for her sister-in-law’s house that morning. It had been a quick morning with little talk from anyone other than little Sarai and Martha. The older boys were quieter than normal. Mary Ruth wondered if Samuel had told them about the upcoming birth. If so, she didn’t know why they were acting the way they were.
She hoped they weren’t coming down with something that was making them feel ill. If they were, she wondered if they would even tell her. She was only eleven years older than John and thirteen years older than Isaac. Isaac was easier going, but she could tell John had control and often directed his little brother around. Isaac did what he was told on every occasion.
She didn’t feel the boys would cause her any real harm but wished she could bond with them. When she expressed her feelings to Samuel, he just told her to give it time. The death of their mother had come when they were old enough to understand what was happening and the great loss they had experienced. They would never be ready for a “replacement” but that wasn’t what she wanted either. She just wanted to show them that she cared.
Samuel helped her into the buggy and settled in, placing one hand on her growing belly. Samuel leaned over to her. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Ya,” she nodded, giving him a smile.
“You will let me know if you feel ill?”
Again, she nodded. She didn’t expect to get sick.
“When we get to Anna’s, we will talk to Deborah Yoder. She is the midwife here. She can answer any questions you have.”
“That sounds fine, thank you, Samuel.”
Samuel nodded and clicked his tongue, snapping the reins to get the horses started. She heard the children in the back talking excitedly. John was telling his brothers and sisters to calm down and be quiet. They were asking him why they had to be quiet when they weren’t in church yet. John wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he looked out the window sullenly. The only one who listened to him was Isaac, which was to be expected. The others continued to laugh and giggle, making small animal noises and poking each other with their fingers. Isaac was holding little Martha on his lap and was still as a stone, looking cautiously at John every now and then.
Mary Ruth was happy to hear the laughter and the talking. It helped calm her anxiety about going into a new situation once again, meeting people she didn’t know. She had felt the same way when she’d moved to Eli’s community.
“Are you getting comfortable being here, Mary Ruth?” Samuel asked quietly. “I believe you have done a remarkable job with the kinder. I remember when Sapphira, my wife, was still alive, she was always very comfortable in the kitchen, baking. She and my sisters were very close.”
“I would like to be close to them, as well.”
Samuel nodded. “You will be, Mary Ruth. Anna has taken quite a liking to you. Lillian and Rhea will become more comfortable the more time you spend with them.”
“They seem to be quite busy with their duties in the bakery. What do they do with the money they get from the townspeople?”
“Generally, their husbands use it to buy more seeds and lumber.”
“I’m surprised they don’t take the lumber from the woods. We are surrounded by trees and forest land.”
“That was the practice until recently. Bishop Hofstetler put a stop to it a few years ago.”
“Why would he do such a thing? Is it not our directive to use the land for what we need?”
“It is. But he has it in his mind that it is a good thing to support the townspeople. He said they need help.”
“Eli always said that we should separate ourselves from them, so as not to be corrupted by them.”
“While that is very true,” Samuel said in a gentle voice, “we have come to understand what it is he is saying. They are not lost causes. We do separate ourselves and work toward our salvation and that of our children and families. But these people are not to be thrown to the dust. Their survival depends on a growing economy.”
Mary Ruth pressed her lips together. “Was the Bishop always here?”
“Pardon me?”
“Did he come from town and join the community or was he born here?”
Samuel smiled at her. “You are very intuitive, Mary Ruth. Daniel was born here, yes. But he does have other reasons for supporting the economy in Osgood City.”
“He must have children there. Or relatives of some kind.”
Samuel chuckled deeply. “He does. He has several relatives living there. As do I. I have two brothers that moved to the town and stayed there.”
Mary Ruth felt a little depressed by that. So many had left the faith. It made her heart hurt to think that they had jeopardized their salvation in such a way.
“You must not feel sad for them,” he stated. Samuel could see the look on her face. It made his heart beat strong for her and he wanted to give her a big hug. But he restrained himself as she would probably be shocked by the move and he didn’t want to hurt her or the child she carried in her womb.
“They have the opportunity to return. They are living decent lives in the town and have sent several young ladies to live with us in the community. We feel these young ladies have now been given their path to salvation. We cannot know what Gott has planned for us. We must trust in Him to lead us on our individual paths.”
“Ya.” Mary Ruth was very quiet, thinking that Gott had directed her path through tragedy and heartache. “He is a mysterious Gott. I don’t understand Him.”
“Perhaps we aren’t meant to understand just how He works. Perhaps we are only meant to do His work here and be a gut example for our children and loved ones. We are here to care for each other and about each other. That is the way I see it.”
“I do appreciate how you think, Samuel. It is very confusing to me sometimes, why Gott would put me through such trauma.”
“Gott does not put us through trauma, Mary Ruth.” Samuel’s voice was gentle. “He carries us through the trauma that happens because of the way the world is. This is why we live the way we do. We live to honor Him.”
“Ya. Sometimes I don’t feel very strong. But I pray. And I feel stronger. Whenever I think about what has happened…how…Martha will never know her father…this baby doesn’t have a chance to ever even meet him. It’s very difficult sometimes.”
“It’s only been a few months. You will recover your strength in time.”
“I fear for my child. I fear that something bad will happen this time because I am stressed or anxious. I want everything to be all right for this Bobelli.”
Samuel nodded and put his hand on her knee, giving it a soft squeeze. “We will take care of you, Mary Ruth. I promise you. We will care for you and for your new baby and for Martha, too. You will never be alone.”
She met his eyes and pulled in a deep breath. “Danki,” was all she managed to say. They continued to look at each other for a few more moments. She took in his dark hair and eyes, the shape of his face and the way his features fit well together. She noticed for the first time that he had a small scar on his cheek, just below his right eye. He saw where her eyes had settled and reached up subconsciously to touch it.
“How did that happen?”
“I was thrown from a Gaul when I was eight,” he said.
“That’s why it’s so faded. So small.”
“Ya. It’s been many years. Ma
emm was scared for me. She thought I was going to die from that,” he chuckled. “I was not afraid. I was on a Gaul again the next day, bandage and all.”
Mary Ruth smiled at him. “A fearless young man,” she said.
“Ya,” his returning smile warmed her heart. “I certainly was.”
Mary Ruth looked ahead down the road, thinking that if she had a boy, she was pleased that Samuel would be his vadder.
Chapter Five
Mary Ruth was surprised by how many people fit into the small room at Anna’s farmhouse. Anna’s husband, Mark, had built on an extra room for the services but the community was growing and there were people standing in the back. A seat had been reserved for her near the front, with the rest of the family. Mark was giving the talk that day. The Bishop said a few words first and then Mark took over.
Mary Ruth was having a little trouble concentrating, thinking about what she and Samuel had talked about on the way. She wondered if he was stronger than her because it had been longer since he lost his wife. He seemed much stronger than her.
She was surprised when the service was over and people around her stood up to sing a closing hymn. It was one she knew well and she closed her eyes to sing. Her voice was strong, a true gift, she had been told. Eli had loved her voice.
There was a closing prayer and she added words in her mind, repeating the phrases she had been whispering to Gott for months. She wanted Him to release her from her mourning, heal her heart and make her strong. She wanted to be like Ruth in the Bible and live her life as fully as possible. But she didn’t know how. She wanted to know where her strength truly was and what good she was going to do on this earth.
Forgive me for being impatient, Lord, she prayed silently. I am trying.
When people started to move around, she looked up. Samuel would direct her and tell her where to go. He wanted her to meet the midwife and a few of the neighbors she had not yet met. Anna was by her side fairly quickly, giving her a smile and a quick squeeze.
“How are you feeling today, Mary Ruth? Gut, I trust?”
“Ya. I’m doing okay. How are you?”
“Gut, Danki! I’ve made some special pastries and little cakes for the lunch gathering today. I hope you get some and enjoy them.”
Mary Ruth smiled at her. “I always enjoy your baked goods, Anna. So delicious! You have such talent.”
Anna smiled back. “Danki, Mary Ruth. I noticed you have a special talent, too!”
Mary Ruth lifted her eyebrows. “Oh? And what is that?”
“Singing! You have a beautiful voice! Perhaps you can begin giving the children singing lessons if you are up for it!”
Mary Ruth’s face flushed a light red. “Oh, but I’m surely not that gut.”
“Oh ya, ya! You can’t deny that! I heard you well. You could practically lead the worship if you wanted to.”
Mary Ruth giggled. “Danki, Anna. I do love to sing.”
“Well, there you go! I will speak to the Bishop on your behalf if you would like.”
“That would be fine, Danki,” she nodded. She would be grateful for the distraction. She had just prayed for Gott to show her what she was supposed to be doing, what her purpose would be. Perhaps that was it. She gave Anna a warm smile, suddenly feeling better.
Anna took her arm when Samuel came over. “Would you like for me to introduce her to Deborah, Samuel? I know that’s what you wanted to do today.”
“Ya,” Samuel nodded. He looked distracted. He was glancing over their shoulders to something behind them and without another word, passed them by, giving Mary Ruth a polite nod. Both women followed him with their eyes and then looked at each other.
“I wonder what he is doing,” Anna said, inquisitively. “It’s not like him to be so abrupt.”
Mary Ruth shook her head. “You certainly know him better than I do, Anna.”
Anna shook her head, looking at her brother once again, who had stopped at a group of men and was speaking earnestly to them. “Hmm. I am curious now.”
“I’m sure it has nothing to do with us,” Mary Ruth said. “Shall we go find Deborah?”
“No need to go find her,” Anna turned her smile to Mary Ruth. “She’s waiting for us right over there.” Anna pointed to a large woman in the corner of the room. The woman was quite round, with a plump face and a perky smile. Deborah lifted one hand and waved to them. Mary Ruth waved back. “Has Samuel mentioned when your wedding will be published? Not that it needs to be. Everyone knows why you are here.”
“He has said that we will wait until after the baby is born. Since he or she is going to arrive in the Spring, I will be well enough by Fall.”
“Oh Ya, plenty! I’m sure everything will go smoothly. Didn’t you mention that giving birth to Martha was not difficult for you?”
“Not at all. It was a very quick and easy process for me.”
Anna shook her head. “You were blessed. None of my births were easy, smooth or quick. I was in a great deal of pain and was grateful when the baby finally came. I had terrible sickness all throughout each of the pregnancies, as well. And I was not in a gut mood, always snapping at Mark. He is dreading having any more,” Anna said the last part with a smile and a laugh. “Poor men, they just don’t understand. But then, maybe you don’t either! You don’t seem to be having trouble with sickness and you are nearly halfway through already.”
“Ya. I am usually quite healthy. I have been worried about my anxiety and sorrow affecting this birth, though. I hope that all goes well, now that my pregnancy is showing.”
“I’m sure it will be just fine, liebchen. Hello, Deborah! How are you this fine morning?”
“Gut, Anna, Danki. How are you doing?”
“Well, Danki! This is Mary Ruth. Has Samuel spoken to you about her?”
“Indirectly, as he sent the message through Jed. Hello, Mary Ruth! And how are you doing today?”
“I am feeling well, Danki.”
Deborah nodded, making her shoulder-length tight blond curls bounce around her large shoulders.
“Gut! I would like for you to come by my haus later today or tomorrow if you can. I have a particular nutrition and diet plan that I have all my ladies use when they are in the family way. Is this acceptable?”
“Certainly, that’s fine,” Mary Ruth nodded.
“Gut, I’m glad to hear that. Have you been getting exercise and taking care of yourself? I am sorry to hear that you lost your husband, but it did bring you here to us, so we must also be grateful.”
“I have been trying to take care of myself despite my sorrow,” Mary Ruth admitted. She looked at Anna with a smile when the woman gave her arm a tight squeeze.
Deborah nodded. “Let’s go join the other ladies. I have spoken to Rhea. She says that you will be having your Bobellis around the same time. You expect in the Spring?”
“That’s what the midwife at my last community said, ya.”
“All right. I’ll check you over later today or tomorrow and we’ll see if we can’t narrow down the date for you.”
“That sounds wunderbaar, Danki.”
“Velcuum.”
Mary Ruth and Anna walked behind Deborah, who took up the lead in a hurry. Mary Ruth was surprised that the big woman could move so quickly. She wondered if Deborah was always in the Amish faith. She had found herself wondering that quite often.
As they passed through the doors to go outside and meet with a small group of women standing off to the side that included Rhea and Lillian, Mary Ruth spotted her step-sons in their own group. She got an uncomfortable feeling, as the looks on their faces were quite intense and two of them were looking at her. The looks were not unkind but seemed to her to be very serious.
It made her heart beat a little faster as anxiety spread through her. What would they possibly have to say about her? She thought back on the last two weeks and couldn’t think of anything she had done to offend the two boys. Or at least John, as Isaac was well known to blindly follow behind his older b
rother.
When John turned his head and saw her watching, he abruptly looked away, taking his brother’s arm in one hand and another boy’s in the other, directing them away from the women. He was still talking low under his breath. She was unable to hear what he was saying and couldn’t see his face anymore. But as he was pulled away, Isaac looked back over his shoulder at her, a frightened and apologetic look on his face.
Mary Ruth pulled in a deep breath. She didn’t know what was going on with the young man but she was determined to speak to Samuel about it this time. She didn’t want any trouble and was already nervous enough about her new Bobelli being born in an environment that was new to her.
She looked back to the women as they began to chat about the impending thunderstorm and how odd it was that there had been so much rain lately.
“I’m sure it will only last a short time,” Rhea spoke up. “We have moved the lunch gathering to the weather shelter anyway, in preparation for it. And Charlie brought our umbrella. He suggested the other men bring theirs and I’m certain they did so. I think we will all be okay,” she smiled. “It’s just a little water. Gott knows we need it. He is just providing for us what we need.”
“We need a little sunshine, too,” one of the other neighbor women said in a pleasant voice. “I do prefer the sunshine to rain.”
“Me, as well,” Mary Ruth spoke up. “Rain makes me feel sad.”
“I’m sure you feel sad anyway. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your husband.” It was another woman who spoke that time. She put one hand on Mary Ruth’s arm. “My Maemm lost my vadder at a fairly young age. I was raised with my cousins as a result. Maemm chose not to marry again.”
Mary Ruth lifted her eyebrows. “That is surprising. Was she not pressed to do so?”
The woman, whose name was Sephorah, shrugged her small shoulders. “She did not care. My vadder was the only man she cared for. She just never cared for another man the way marriage required and did not want to be unhappily bound to someone for all of her remaining days.”
[2016] The Precious Amish Baby Page 3
