Mary Ruth nodded. “I would not choose that.”
Sephorah and the other women chuckled. “That is obvious,” Rhea said. “Or you wouldn’t be here.”
“I did care for Eli very much. He was my life.” Mary Ruth felt compelled to defend herself, though she did so in a quiet voice. “I felt lost without him. It was a terrible thing for him to be taken in such a way. But I understand now that Gott has His plan for us and we must trust Him to get us through these earthly troubles.”
“This is very true,” Deborah nodded, giving her an approving look. “Your children need a vadder. In Sephorah’s case, her mudder was content to be reliant on her own mudder and vadder to help her raise her three dochders.” She tilted her head to the side. “I believe you didn’t have your own parents to help you, did you?”
Mary Ruth shook her head. “Nee, when I married Eli, we went to live in his community, which was nearby. He was visiting and that’s how we met.”
“Are your parents still living?” Anna asked.
“Ya. I have written to them many times. It was an option that I return to them, but I have decided to come here instead. I do not care to take steps backward. I prefer to move forward.”
“That is a gut idea.” The ladies were all nodding. “It’s not gut to be stuck in the past. Plus, you would not have met Samuel and he is a very gut man. He will be a gut husband for you.”
Mary Ruth nodded, feeling her cheeks becoming a bit warm. “Danki. He does seem to be a gut man. I believe I will…enjoy being wed to him.”
Chapter Six
Mary Ruth did not find time to talk to Samuel about John and Isaac’s behavior after the church service. She had a lovely time at the lunch gathering and meeting with the rest of the members of the community, but by the time they got home, she was very tired.
She chose to visit with Deborah the next day. She was grateful that Samuel owned two buggies because he was able to take one to work in the carpentry shop and she was able to take the children on a ride to Deborah’s house. Deborah had two older children still living with her and her husband, Jed.
The older children were helping at the school, teaching gardening and horseback riding to the younger ones. Deborah had told her that everything seemed all right and gave her a diet plan that didn’t restrict her normal eating much. She was at a proper weight and her skin looked healthy. She had a slight temperature but Deborah assured her that she was within normal range.
But soon after her appointment with Deborah, Mary Ruth began to feel strange. She knew that her temperature was rising, as she always felt hot and was compelled to cool herself with a damp cloth most of the day.
Samuel had told her to rest more often and she began staying in her room most of the day, only coming out for meals. She was having nightmares that frightened her almost every night.
Samuel came in and sat on the side of her bed, placing one large hand over hers and gazing at her. “How are you this morning, liebchen?”
Mary Ruth was depressed. She sighed heavily wanting to cry, but not allowing herself to.
“Oh, Samuel. I am very frustrated with this. Why am I ill? What is causing these bad dreams I am having?”
“Tell me about them, Mary Ruth. What are you seeing in your dreams?”
Mary Ruth shook her head. “Last night, there were animals chasing me through the garden and the woods. I was falling and although they never seemed to catch up with me, they were always there. I knew they were there and I was so frightened…” She choked up and stopped, swallowing hard. She shook her head again as if to get rid of the memories. “Samuel, I want to be comfortable. So much I have been praying for relief from this.”
“It is the fever that is causing this,” Samuel said, reaching out to move a strand of her hair from her sweaty forehead. “You have no reason to be afraid. We are here and Gott is by your side at all times, even when you are sleeping.”
“I can’t control what I’m dreaming, Samuel,” she tried not to sound rude. She pushed herself up in the bed so that she was half-sitting, propped up against the pillows. “I want them to stop. Have you sent for Deborah? Will she come see me?”
Samuel nodded. “I’ve sent her a message and she will come soon. But you must consider other things. Your body is made to protect your child. It is you that you must be concerned about. I can ask for a physician to come from town. I have discussed it with the other men and they believe it is a good idea.”
“There is no one here who can see me?”
“There is no one qualified, no. We often have a physician come from town to help us with health issues that we have no knowledge of.”
“I trust you to make the right decision, Samuel. I know you are doing what you can to help me.”
“You have about three months left before you will bring your new baby to us,” Samuel said softly. “We will keep you safe until then.”
“I’m sorry if I’m ruining everyone’s holidays,” Mary Ruth’s hands were clenched together on her lap and she rubbed her fingers anxiously. “I do not mean to be a burden.”
Samuel shook his head. “You are not a burden, Mary Ruth. Please don’t think that way. We are here to help you. We want to take care of you.”
“I am not sure your children would agree with you.”
Samuel looked surprised. “What makes you say such a thing?”
Mary Ruth felt uncomfortable. She remembered the first church service she had been to and John’s behavior that day stuck out vividly in her mind. Since then, she had heard the children whispering outside her door in the evenings. John’s voice was most prominent. It was as though he wasn’t even trying to hide his disdain for her.
“I have heard them talking outside the door,” she said. She told Samuel how John had acted that Sunday and how he had great influence over Isaac. “I think he was unhappy because I arrived so close to his birthday and the celebration was perhaps not as focused on him as he wanted it to be. He is at the age where he requires that kind of attention and thinks that he is now an adult.”
Samuel looked thoughtful. “You could be right about his birthday and the fact that he did not get as much attention as he perhaps desired. But I don’t believe he is scheming against you.”
“I don’t think he is either,” Mary Ruth was quick to clarify. “I don’t think he is a bad boy. But he is not fond of me and that is a shame. I do not want to alienate your kinder.”
“Nee, you are not doing that. I do not believe you are doing that, liebchen. You are worrying yourself needlessly. You are seeing something that simply isn’t there. But to ease your heart, shall I speak to him on your behalf and perhaps bring him in to speak to you about this?”
“Ya, please speak to him. I want your kinder to be comfortable with me. Margit and Naomi have done so well with Martha. They are used to babies because of Lily, so my little dochder has not made a lot of difference in that matter.”
Samuel laughed softly. “Martha has made a big impact on my girls, Mary Ruth. They each have a little girl to take care of now. With Lily being so familiar, Margit is easily able to handle her at only seven. And Naomi has already been taking care of Lily for three years so she is good for Martha. They have become just like natural sisters for your dochder.”
His words calmed Mary Ruth’s heart. She was glad Martha was happy.
Samuel was relieved to see that Mary Ruth was smiling, even if it was just a little bit. He had noticed the way his sons were not keen on being there for his future wife, but they were teenage boys and had their own lives to think about. Especially John, who, at 15, was prime to think he was an adult. He was leaving school after this year, as it was his eighth grade. He planned to take up carpentry like his father. He would be venturing out on his Rumspringa just in the next year, but he wasn’t as excited about it as other boys his age. He didn’t want to leave his family. And, given the choice, he wouldn’t.
Samuel gazed at her with gentle eyes. “You must rest, Mary Ruth. You must not be worr
ied about these things that you cannot control.”
“I’ve dreamed that my Bobelli was lost to me, that it will be stillborn or that it will not be healthy. I’ve dreamed that I am drowning, too. Why would I dream such a thing, Samuel? What could be causing that?”
“I do believe it is your illness that is causing this.”
“But what is it that I have? Why am I ill? I never had this kind of trouble before.”
“Were you not sick with Martha?”
She shook her head. “Nee. As I’ve mentioned, I was very healthy while pregnant with Martha. I had her with ease. I did not crave any types of food and I did not feel sick. Not in the mornings nor anytime during the day. I felt very little pain even when I was giving birth to her.”
“This will not be the same. You mustn’t expect it to be.”
“But why not?”
Samuel shook his head and touched her forehead again. She was burning up. “You must just trust us and Gott to get you through, liebchen. I will send for a physician from town today. We will try to get someone to come here for you tomorrow. Does that sound acceptable?”
“Ya, Samuel.” She laid her head back, exhausted from her worry. “I need to see a doctor. Please send someone in to help me.”
He slid off the bed gently so as not to rock her too much. He stood next to the bed and regarded her with soft eyes. “We will get you comfortable again, liebchen. In only a few months, you will be right as rain again,” he chuckled. “At least you don’t have to be out in that rain!”
The raining had tapered off in the last few weeks while Mary Ruth had been laying in her bed resting. She looked forward to having her body back and seeing the face of her newborn child.
“Have you given any thoughts to the name you wish to give your child when he or she is born?” Samuel asked, leaning over slightly, resting one hand on her shoulder. She nodded. “What have you chosen?”
“If it is a girl, I would like to name her Rachel. If a boy, I was thinking Nathan. Or Nahum.”
“I like all of those names,” he nodded in approval. “Would you like to have a boy or a girl?”
“I have a girl, so a boy is preferred,” she smiled. “But of course, I would just like the Bobelli to be healthy. It is best.”
“Of course. Ya,” he leaned over and brushed his lips against her hot forehead. “I will be back later. Perhaps I will fetch the physician myself. He can bring something to help you sleep.”
“Ya. Danki.”
She watched him through half-open eyes as he went to the door and disappeared to the other side. He left it open slightly and she could hear him talking to someone on the other side. She wondered if she had a constant guard at the door, making sure she was all right at every moment of the day. She couldn’t imagine who could be doing that. The voice that replied to Samuel’s did not sound familiar to her, but it was only a whispered tone, so she couldn’t hear it well.
Mary Ruth yawned but knew she didn’t want to sleep. It was only going to make her feel worse. If she slept, she would dream something awful. If she didn’t sleep, she would toss and turn, her belly getting in her way now that she was larger. Her baby was probably tossing and turning in there, too, just as unhappy with how hot her body was as she felt.
She groaned in frustration. She would have been better off if her first pregnancy had been difficult and her second very easy, especially under her current circumstances. She sighed, glancing up at the ceiling.
“Gott, please make me well. Please don’t let me suffer so. I need your help.”
She knew He was listening. But she wished He would answer her quickly. Knowing He wouldn’t, she blinked her eyes and yawned again. “In Your time, Lord. In Your time.”
She was going to work on her patience. She was going to get through with His help…and Samuel’s.
Chapter Seven
Anna visited Mary Ruth most often, encouraging her with kind words and scriptures. She was fond of reading Proverbs 3:5&6. Nearly every morning, she would come in with a fresh pitcher of cool water, bathing Mary Ruth and singing softly to her.
“When you are better, after you have your baby,” she would say, “you are going to jump out of this bed and start teaching the little kinder to sing just like you do.” She kept her voice soft, running the cloth across Mary Ruth’s forehead and down her arms. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and do not lean upon thine own understanding. Submit to Him and He will make your path straight.”
Mary Ruth had gotten used to the scripture and would often say the words with her. She also quoted from Hebrews, a book of the Bible that Samuel had taken to reading to her while she rested. The younger children sometimes came into her room to play and keep her company. She never asked them to leave. She enjoyed watching them.
Several times, she’d seen Isaac peek in to see if she was doing all right. The only time she saw John was when she stepped out of the room to make the meals or chose to attend a church service. There were only six to attend before her Bobelli would be born. She didn’t see why she couldn’t make it to six church services when she was relying so heavily on Him to help her get through her sickness.
Her belly grew larger every week and she was beginning to see the little hands and feet pressing out against her skin. She wasn’t uncomfortable that way but didn’t understand how her sickness could be prolonged. The doctor had visited and was visiting as often as Deborah. He told her that she was experiencing a blood problem that was making her fatigued and causing the heat in her body to rise. All she could do was wait it out, according to him.
The nightmares abated only a little when the doctor gave her some herbs to help her sleep. Anna, who was taking care of her during her final months of pregnancy, mixed the herbs in with tea before she slept so that she would be more peaceful. It worked enough that Mary Ruth didn’t feel as fatigued as she had been.
“Anna, may I speak to you about something?”
Anna sat next to her on the bed. “Of course, Mary Ruth. What’s troubling you?”
“I wonder, do the children often stand outside my bedroom and talk?”
Anna raised her eyebrows. “Can you hear them out there, Mary Ruth?”
Mary Ruth nodded. “Sometimes I think I do. But I cannot imagine why they would do that.”
Anna tilted her head to one side, giving her a soft smile. “They miss you.”
“But they barely had time to know me before I became ill.”
“Martha, even as young as she is, refers to you often. She sits just on the other side of that door and plays with her dollie. The one you brought with you when you came here.”
“She does?”
Anna nodded. “Ya. She used to cry at first.” Anna hurried to continue when she saw the look on her friend’s face. “But not anymore. When she was crying before, Naomi and Margit and even Lily would play with her and cheer her up. Now they sit out there with her and bring her cookies and biscuits and tea.”
“That is very sweet.” Mary Ruth smiled wide.
“They tell her that she has nothing to worry about, though I can see that they are worried themselves. No one likes it that you are sick.”
“I do wonder how the boys feel. I never see John at all. I don’t think he cares for me.”
Anna shook her head, frowning. “It isn’t that John doesn’t care for you, liebchen. It is that he has his own mind to be worried about. He always has so much he is thinking about. I am surprised that he ever sleeps. For you, it is your dreams that keep you from resting well. For him, well, his mind just does not want to shut off. He thinks…he over-thinks everything. He is constantly worried about this or that.”
“Before I became ill, he did not look receptive to my presence. I was…and I am still, anxious that he does not want me here.”
Anna didn’t respond at first. She pulled in a deep breath and looked out at the darkened sky. They had been experiencing various, confusing weather patterns. Since Mary Ruth’s arrival two months previous, ther
e had been intermittent sunshine with mostly cloudy, rainy days. If it had not gone so directly against their faith that the Lord was in control of all things, some may have been suspicious that it was a bad omen and that Mary Ruth was not supposed to be in the community. But such things were nonsense, as the adults all knew.
Anna had heard John’s grumblings. She knew that the young man did not think highly of Mary Ruth’s presence, simply because he felt that she was getting a great deal of attention so quickly after her arrival, that she was not going to be of any use to his father or his siblings. He was old enough to take care of himself, he asserted, but his siblings were not. Their father had brought Mary Ruth to help him take care of the haus and the children, neither of which she was doing.
Anna was not about to tell Mary Ruth what she had heard from John. She had told Samuel. She felt that was the appropriate and only thing she could do.
“Mary Ruth,” Anna’s voice was soft. “I don’t want you to concern yourself with what the boy thinks or does not think. He is fifteen years old. He will not need to be under your care, as it will soon be his responsibility to care for his own children. Well, not soon but soon enough. He busies himself working with Samuel in the carpentry shop when he is not finishing up his schooling. He doesn’t help to take care of the little ones anymore because Isaac and Naomi are old enough to do that. When you are well again, you will be taking care of your newborn. And still, Naomi and Margit will help you with the baby and with Lily and Martha. That is their duty as members of this family.”
Mary Ruth nodded. These were all things that she knew. She had a feeling Anna was not telling her something about John but felt that if Anna thought she shouldn’t say something, it was for a good reason. She must have spoken to Samuel about it. “Do you think I should speak to Samuel and ask him his opinion?”
Anna looked a little relieved to have the burden taken from her. “I would think that is a gut idea, Mary Ruth. Samuel knows his son. He knows what is best when it comes to his family. He has been greatly concerned for your health and happiness.”
[2016] The Precious Amish Baby Page 4
