[2016] The Precious Amish Baby

by Faith Crawford

  Not that he shared any of her feelings. Until the day he touched her and she saw something there. The only problem was that since then, he appeared to dislike her and he scowled when he saw her. Perhaps he just needed time. So did she, for that matter. She was not in a position to give the Mother Superior an answer. A few months ago, she had been so sure of herself.

  But with the Major coming and nursing him back to health, she just did not know what she wanted. Adrianna knew she could not tell the Mother Superior any of that. Instead, she smiled back and feigned happiness.

  “Thank you, I am very pleased. It was what I wanted all along,” Adrianna said.

  “You will see what a fulfilling life it is—”

  She was interrupted by loud shouting coming from the makeshift hospital. They both ran towards the voice. At the makeshift hospital, Adrianna saw a crowd around an officer called Brown. He had sat up in bed and was screaming his head off. The whole room appeared to be in chaos with other soldiers shouting at Brown to keep quiet.

  The nuns seemed to be at a loss of how to handle Brown. Adrianna did not blame them. They had all been taken through first aid training and dressing wounds and basic things such as those. None of them were equipped to deal with trauma. Mother Superior standing just behind her did not seem to know what to do as well.

  “I want my damn leg back!” Brown yelled and thumped the bed hard with his fists.

  The cot tilted from side to side and Adrianna thought it would fall over on its side. From where she stood, Adrianna saw Sidney hobble between the beds until he was at the bedside of Brown.

  “Get a grip on yourself, Brown,” he barked.

  Brown looked up and the tears in his eyes made Adrianna want to weep. She knew the cause of the commotion. The man had returned unconscious from the hospital after having his leg amputated. It was the first time he was seeing his cut leg, though covered in bandages.

  “Sir, they cut off my leg,” he wailed. “What will I do?”

  “Listen to me Brown,” Sidney said his voice urgent and forceful.

  By now everybody in the room had fallen silent. Adrianna, like everyone else, was mesmerized by the conversation between Sidney and Brown.

  “Think of Young and the others who have lost their lives. You’re not the first to lose a limb. You got off lucky, Brown, don’t you see? You have a wife and a child, don’t you?”

  Brown nodded.

  "Well, there you go. You have people who love you to get back to. You're blessed and you ought to be grateful."

  They all waited with abated breath for Brown's reaction.

  “Will they want me without one leg?” he finally said.

  “Losing limbs is part of the war. I assure you that your wife will be so happy to see you that she won’t care much for the lost limb. Hell, you are lucky you’re going home in economy class rather than in a casket.”

  Brown was silent for a moment and then he nodded. He smiled unsurely at Sidney who clapped him on the shoulder.

  “You’ll be alright, we all will.”

  Adrianna wiped off a tear from the edge of her eye. Her heart swelled with love for Sidney and at that moment, she knew for sure. She knew he was a little older than her, but she had always fancied older men.

  Sidney turned and his eyes seemed to bore straight into Adrianna’s eyes. They stared at each other before he looked away. Adrianna felt eyes on her and when she turned she saw the Mother Superior looking at her with a puzzled look. She turned and fled. What had the Mother Superior seen? Adrianna hoped that she had not read anything in the look.

  She pushed the door open and went to the garden. She sat on the part of the bench where Sidney had sat. She closed her eyes and tried to get back the feeling of his hand on her but it wouldn’t come. What was she to do? Every day her feelings for the Major grew and she felt like she would burst with the enormity of it. She loved him.

  The knowledge delighted and frightened her in equal measure. She imagined the two of them walking hand in hand. Their house would be surrounded by a white picket fence. Adrianna was so engrossed in her fantasy that when she heard footsteps, she jumped to her feet as though she had been caught stealing.

  The owner of the steps did not enter the garden and the steps disappeared. She sat back down again. Adrianna was at a loss over what to do. She searched herself for the feelings of belonging to the convent. The truth was that she did not want to spend the rest of her life as a nun. Not now when she had tasted the joyous feeling of loving a man. Even when loving one as rude as Sidney.

  What if she bared her feelings to him? Adrianna thought of how he had looked at her. She knew deep inside herself that he too was in love with her. She thought of the humiliation if he wasn’t. No, she told herself and pushed away the unpleasant thought. She could not bear it if he wasn’t. The trouble was that there were always people in the makeshift hospital. Still, she would find a way, she thought with determination. She had read in a romance book that people who loved each other always found a way. With that, she stood up and returned to work.

  Chapter Eight

  Adrianna laid her hand briefly on his as they sat on the bench. She then touched her hair and smoothed her dress. Sidney watched all her movements impassively. This was getting out of hand. He had noticed her furtive glances from the other side of the room and coy smiles when she saw him watching her. Her inexperience would have been a delight to watch if her seduction would have been geared towards someone else.

  As it was, he wanted her to stop. He had no intention of having an affair with a young girl who in another life could have been his daughter. It was not that he did not react to her overtures. He was a man after all, and she was a beautiful and attractive young woman. His eyes lowered to the curve of her chest which even her shapeless dress could not hide.

  He took a sharp intake of breath. It took every ounce of self-control to not grab her and kiss her until her mouth bruised.

  “Sidney?” she said softly.

  When had they gotten to first name basis?

  “What?” he said.

  His eyes were glued to her mouth which was slightly open.

  “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” she said.

  She placed her hands on her lap and he saw that they were trembling. He got a sick feeling in his stomach. No! She simply mustn’t.

  "I want to confess something to you, Sidney. I—"

  “Adrianna stop!” he barked, sharper than he had intended. “Please don’t.”

  Her eyes widened. “You don’t even know what I was about to say.”

  "I think I do," he said solemnly. "Look, you're a very sweet young woman and you've got your whole life ahead of you. Look for a young man your age Adrianna. I'm thirty-five, too old for you."

  He saw her eyes grow wet and he hated himself for hurting her feelings. It was better though to let her know straight away that he could not be in any type of relationship with her.

  “Don’t you feel anything for me?” she said.

  He shook his head. “No,” he lied with a straight face.

  His answer must have stunned her for her hand flew to her mouth.

  “I’m sorry Adrianna…”

  She stood and walked gracefully away. The swing of the hips which she had adapted weeks ago was now gone. His chest swelled with pain but Sidney told himself that he was saving them both a lot of heartache in the future.

  He did not see Adrianna again that day or the next. He assumed that she was staying away from him to get over her feelings. Sidney found himself watching for anyone entering the hospital. Days dragged on, and he got another nun to change his wound. His leg was healing up well and he knew that in a few weeks, he would be discharged from the hospital. Most likely, he would be returning to the States.

  Word was going around that the Americans had the upper hand and the war would be over soon. He hoped so. They had lost enough young men and he for one wanted the bloodshed to end. He was lucky to have survived the four ye
ars of war. His mind strayed to Adrianna. Where was she?

  After a week, he could not bear it any longer. Every hour of his day was now spent thinking of her and watching for her brown hair held back in a ponytail. He knew he would go mad if he did not have something to preoccupy himself. On the eighth day, he approached the head nun.

  “Mother Superior,” Sidney said respectfully, using the name he heard nuns address her by.

  “Yes Major?” she said, her wise eyes searching his face.

  “Do you mind if I dig the vegetable garden for you. It seems terribly neglected and that’s such a shame.”

  “Why yes!” she exclaimed. “We would really appreciate it. How is your leg?”

  "All better I think. I'll probably be shipped back home soon, but in the meantime, I can leave you something to remember me by— a garden ready for planting."

  She looked at him pensively and then nodded. Before Sidney could tell what had happened, he found himself asking her the one thing he was dying to know.

  “Mother Superior, would you happen to know the whereabouts of the young lady who was attending to me?”

  She cocked her head to one side. “You mean Adrianna?”

  He gave a sharp intake of breath. Hearing her name said out loud was like a knife piercing his chest.

  “Yes,” he finally said.

  “She’s working at the local orphanage down by the village,” the woman said, a thoughtful look on her face.

  “Thank you,” Sidney said and turned to leave.

  “You’ll find the tool room at the end of the garden,” the Mother Superior called out to him.

  Sidney smiled. The wise bird thought that he would escape from gardening. He had no intentions to. From past experience, he knew that physical labor was the only way to get over heartbreak. Either that or get another woman quickly. There was no chance of that with him being in the convent, so the only solution was to work.

  He had no idea what to think of Adrianna leaving the convent to work at the orphanage. Was she happy? Had she forgotten him? The thought that she might have moved on already saddened him. She was so brave, he thought, thinking about that day when she had been ready to bear her soul and he had stopped her.

  A part of him wished that he had let her speak. He would have given anything to hear words of love coming from her sweet lips. But what would have been the point of that? He felt oddly at peace knowing she was nearby and then a minute later, it felt like agony to know that she was not far, yet he could not see her.

  He thought of taking a walk to the orphanage and then feign surprise at seeing her. He was too old for such games! Besides, what then, if he saw her? He still believed in what he had told her. He was too old for her. There was more than a fifteen-year difference between them. What if in five years, she tired of him and found someone her own age?

  Sidney grabbed the hoe from the shed. He dug as though his entire life depended on it. All the while, he ached for Adrianna. He told himself if he saw her one more time he would be OK. Sweat dripped down the sides of his face. His injured leg throbbed but he ignored the discomfort. He hit the ground harder.

  ***

  The Mother Superior stood at the edge of the garden, hidden from view by a bush. She watched the Major attack the ground as though he had a personal vendetta against it. By putting two and two together, she had figured out what was ailing him. He was a good man, she knew that. She had had a lot of time to observe him and he had a gentle soul.

  If one did not look deeper, one would miss the kindness that lurked behind his eyes. Her mind went to Adrianna. The girl had matured so much in the last two years. She was not the same willful child who had come into the convent. She was now a woman, the Mother Superior realized with shock. She looked at the Major again and wondered what obstacles the two could be facing.

  He was a little older than she was of course, but she did not think that would be a problem. But one never knew with people. She found herself hoping that they could work out their differences. Thinking about it now, she thought they made a good couple. She had come to love Adrianna and though she would have wanted her to be a nun, the Mother Superior knew that it was not to be.

  She had seen that the very first time Adrianna had been brought to her by Father Stefano. She had a restless spirit about her, a need to go out and do things. Over the months, however, she had metamorphosed into a calm young woman and her hopes for Adrianna joining the convent had grown. Now she knew for sure that the girl's destiny lay elsewhere.

  She shook her head at the unnecessary pain that people caused each other. She watched the Major clutch his injured leg. Her years as a nun and as the Mother Superior had taught her that most, if not all problems were solvable. Her mind worked fast. It was not her custom to poke her nose into other people’s business but Adrianna and the Major needed help. She would hate for him to go to America and leave the girl behind.

  Chapter Nine

  Adrianna fled from the garden with hot tears of humiliation running down her face. She pushed the door to the convent open and ran to the one place where she knew she could be alone—the small bathrooms at the end of the dormitory. There, she locked herself in one cubicle, sat on the toilet and allowed the sobs to come. How could she have been so wrong?

  Sidney’s words repeated themselves in her mind.

  “I’m sorry Adrianna…”

  Humiliation washed over her and she wanted to die. When the sobs receded, Adrianna felt a sense of nothingness settle into her, as though she had ceased to exist. The pain came then, crashing into her insides and leaving her clutching her tummy. When she finally left the bathroom, she walked like a zombie unaware of the people she passed by in the corridors.

  Adrianna went to the Mother Superior’s office. She knocked and she heard a voice urging her to enter.

  “Adrianna, what is it child?” the Mother Superior cried out when she saw Adrianna’s swollen face. “Did someone hurt you?”

  Adrianna wanted to laugh hysterically at the question. Instead, she shook her head and tried to clear her mind. She could not stay and work at the convent any longer. She could not bear to see Sidney every day.

  “I want to leave Mother Superior,” Adrianna blurted out.

  “Leave? But why?”

  Adrianna shrugged. What could she say? I’m in love with a man who does not reciprocate my feelings?

  “I just need to leave. Is there somewhere else I can be of help?” she asked.

  The Mother Superior was quiet for a moment. Then she sighed.

  "I'd hate to lose you, Adrianna. You're invaluable to the convent. Must you leave?"

  “Yes, I’m afraid I must.”

  “Alright then, so be it. The local orphanage is short of workers and they do have a few rooms that they give to their employees. It’ a voluntary position and you’ll not be paid. They will not pay at the beginning anyway.”

  Adrianna clapped her hands together. “It’s perfect. Thank you so much.”

  Then against her will, tears coursed down her cheeks. The Mother Superior stood up and walked to Adrianna.

  “Do you want to talk about it child?” she asked gently touching her shoulder.

  Adrianna shook her head.

  It was arranged that she would move to the orphanage the following day. That afternoon, Adrianna slipped out of the convent, making sure that Sidney was in his bed before she left and headed to the monastery. To her surprise, the monastery makeshift hospital had emptied of most patients and was now only half full.

  She spied Father Stefano speaking to one of the patients. She waited while he finished and when he saw her, he walked to her with a smile.

  “Adrianna, just the person I wanted to see. Life at the convent really suits you. We rarely get to see you,” he said and she smiled.

  “Father Stefano,” Adrianna said.

  “Come, let’s take a walk,” he told her and touched her hand lightly.

  They walked out. The sun was out, weak but warm nonetheless
and yet Adrianna shivered. She was surprised she could feel anything at all. Her world seemed bleak and even the prospect of working with children did not cheer her up. She wondered idly what Father Stefano wanted to talk to her about.

  "The war is nearing the end," he said conversationally. "Have you given a thought of what you'll do after that?"

  Adrianna had no plans whatsoever. She cared for nothing and she felt as though someone had dropped a heavy blanket on her and darkened her vision.

  “No Father, I haven’t,” she answered.

  “You spoke about becoming a novice nun, are you still interested in that?”

  “No, Father,” Adrianna said, unable to summon the energy to think.

  He turned to her, his face shrouded in concern. “Is everything OK?”

  Adrianna wanted to blurt out to someone what had happened to her, but she knew it would do no good. It was finished and the less she spoke of Sidney, the better. Oh, Sidney.

  “I’m fine, Father. I’m actually starting to work at the orphanage tomorrow. I needed a change and the Mother Superior suggested the orphanage.”

  He smiled. “Change is good. You’ll want to see Benito and Dante before you leave?”

  Adrianna nodded gratefully. This time, she waited outside the monastery building while Father Stefano called the boys. She plopped down on the grass and played with a string of grass. She thought of Sidney next door. She saw his huge form lying on the bed. She swallowed back a hysterical giggle. They would have made a terrible couple anyway, with him being six feet tall and her five feet seven. And she had once thought that she was huge! Sidney made her feel petite and feminine.

  “Adrianna!”

  Adrianna jumped. Dante had startled her. She jumped to her feet and was enclosed in a hug by her brother. Benito followed shortly after and he too embraced her. They were both now taller than she was and had grown into young men. The monastery had been good for them, she thought as she touched Benito’s cheek.