In the End (Lifetime #3)

by Ariadne Wayne

  “Right you two, hop into bed, and I’ll be with you as soon as I’ve got Emily tucked in.”

  Emily was asleep after half a book, and Paige hugged me goodnight before I made it to Finn’s room. He sat in his bed and smiled as I sat.

  “If you need anything, I’m in the bedroom at the end of the hallway. Don’t worry about waking me up—I just need to know you’re okay.”

  He nodded.

  “This is scary, I know it is, and I think you’re so brave to want to come and spend a weekend with me. I love you, Finn, and even if you don’t last the whole weekend, that won’t ever stop. Okay?”

  Finn wrapped his arms around me, and I closed my eyes as I held him tight. “Love you too, but you’re choking me.”

  I laughed, letting him go. “Sorry. I’m just really happy for you to be here. I’ve been wanting this for ages, but I needed you to be ready for it. I know it’s somewhere different, but I want you to try and get a good night’s sleep. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” He lay back in the bed and I leaned over, kissing his forehead.

  “Goodnight, Finn.”

  He yawned. “Goodnight.”

  I left Finn with his eyes closed, returning to the living room. Natasha smiled at me. “All sorted?”

  “Kids are asleep, or as good as. Emily was out like a light.”

  “She tires so fast when she’s around the others. I’m pretty sure she keeps up even though she’s that much younger.”

  “I think you’re right.” I sat beside Natasha on the couch, looping an arm around her shoulders. Zoe was on a blanket on the floor, kicking.

  “Let’s hope this one gets the same idea,” I said.

  “A good sleep would be nice.”

  I kissed her temple. “I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

  She shook her head, looking at me. “You do so much already. Short of breastfeeding, I don’t think there’s more you can do. You’re one of the good ones, Sam. How’s Finn?”

  “He’s fine. I think. I’ll check on him before we go to bed.”

  Natasha yawned. “Can we make that soon?”

  “Soon would be a good idea. I’ve got a full day planned for the kids. Does Zoe need another feed?”

  She shook her head. “Not for a while.”

  “Why don’t you hop into bed? I’ll see if I can get Zoe off to sleep and join you soon.”

  Her smile warmed my heart. “I’d like that.” Pausing before she left, she brushed her lips against mine. “Love you.”

  “I love you.”

  As I wrapped and picked up Zoe, Natasha left the room. Zoe looked at me with big eyes before yawning. “Ahh, see? You are tired, little one. Maybe we can get you off to sleep.”

  Rocking her sped up the yawns.

  “Rockabye baby in the treetop,” I sang. God, I loved this kid. I loved them all. Each one was special to me in their own way. If I could have captured this moment in time I would have, frozen it so I could be surrounded by all my children. On Sunday, Finn would go home and my heart would be a little less full, but my girls would see me through.

  When Zoe’s eyes closed, I kept rocking. Would she be like Emily and Paige, or just like their mother? Would she have Finn’s exuberance?

  When I knew she was asleep, I carried her gently toward our bedroom. In the quiet, I heard a sniff.

  Frowning, I placed Zoe in the bassinet and turned back down the hallway, checking each bedroom door as I went. Paige was fast asleep, snoring gently. Emily had her thumb in her mouth, but was still out like a light.

  I reached Finn’s room.

  He sat in bed, his head down, and I didn’t have to look at his face to know he was upset.

  “Shuffle over.” I sat beside him, tilting my head.

  “Hi.”

  “You okay?” I asked, slipping my arm around his shoulders.

  Tears filled his eyes. I knew exactly how to handle this. “Want to call Mum and Dad?”

  He nodded. I was acutely aware this was his first time away from home. It was a big adjustment for all of us, but Finn had to come first. If this was too much, we could wait a while before the next time.

  “Matt told me you have a phone. Let’s get it out of your bag and give them a call.”

  Finn sniffed and nodded.

  I leaned over and picked up his bag from the floor. “You’re doing so well. Do you know what I have planned for tomorrow?”

  He shook his head, and I laid a hand on the phone, pulling it out.

  “I’m taking you, Paige, and Emily to the zoo.”

  “What about Zoe?” he asked.

  “She’s staying here with her mum. She won’t mind if we go by ourselves.” Tapping through to the keypad, I found Matt and Ella’s numbers loaded in the phone. “Do we call Mum’s phone, or Dad’s?”

  His lower lip wobbled. “Dad.”

  I fought back the jealousy that he called Matt Dad. It had to stay that way; naming me that wouldn’t help anyone. If I was Sam for the rest of Finn’s life, it didn’t really matter.

  I dialled Matt. He answered after a couple of rings. “Finn?”

  “Hey, Matt, it’s Sam. Finn wanted to talk to you.”

  “Sure thing. I hope everything’s okay.”

  “I think we’ll be good. He just wants to hear your voice.” Handing the phone to Finn, I smiled. “There you go.”

  Finn cradled the phone to his ear. “Daddy?”

  I closed my eyes, turning away so he couldn’t see my face. This was what my life was, torn between the pain that someone else had been his father, and the knowledge that a better man had stepped in and done the job when I’d failed. No matter how much I’d turned my life around, that would always hang over me.

  “I miss you,” he said.

  Taking a deep breath, I turned back to Finn with what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

  “Daddy Sam is taking me and Paige and Emily to the zoo tomorrow.”

  Daddy Sam? That was new. My heart warmed to his words. I placed my hand on Finn’s arm and squeezed.

  “Yes.” He paused. “Hi, Mummy. Yes, I’m having fun. I’m going to the zoo tomorrow with Paige and Emily. Daddy Sam is taking us.”

  There it was again, the clenching of the heart. God, I loved this kid.

  “Okay.” He looked up at me. “Mum’s going to sing me a song to help me sleep. I’ll be okay.”

  “I’m glad to hear it, champ. See you in the morning. You know where I am if you need me.”

  He nodded. “Goodnight, Daddy Sam.”

  I left to Finn putting the phone on speaker, Ella’s voice filling the room. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. It had taken so long to get to this point. Now there was no going back.

  Tash stirred as I came into the room. “Everything okay?”

  “Now it is. Finn and I called Matt and Ella.”

  “You should see the grin on your face.”

  I chuckled as I slipped my T-shirt over my head. “He’s got a new name for me. Daddy Sam.”

  She laughed and clapped her hands. “Sam, that’s wonderful.”

  Dropping my pants to the floor, I slipped into bed beside her, pulling her into my arms. “It’s been slow going, but so worth it. I wouldn’t have blamed Ella if she’d wanted to shut me out of his life.”

  Natasha nuzzled my cheek. “I’m glad she didn’t. Of all people, I know how much you regret everything that happened. At least you’ve been able to move forward.”

  “And I wouldn’t want my life to be any different now.” Finding her mouth with mine, I kissed her deeply, my body stirring at being so close to her. “How on earth am I going to get through the next few weeks?”

  Tash laughed. “I love you, but I have to be honest and say sleep is better than any thought of future sex right now.”

  A sigh came from the bassinet beside the bed.

  “Even little miss Zoe is enjoying her sleep.”

  “Let’s hope it stays that way.” I laughed.

  Turning,
I reached for the bedside cabinet, flicking on the lamp and tugging open the drawer.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I bought you something. Just have to find it.” I felt around in the drawer behind me, laying my hand on a small soft box.

  She laughed. “Hurry up. It’s getting cold while you muck around.”

  “It’s worth it, I promise.” I rolled back and opened it as she gasped. Inside was a ring. A diamond sat in the middle with three smaller ones around it. “See this?”

  “It’s difficult to miss.”

  “Well, this stone in the middle? It’s you. You’re the centre of my universe. Have been since we first started seeing each other. The other stones represent Paige, Emily, and Zoe. My other girls with you. I don’t care what happened in the past. Paige is my daughter now.”

  Warm drops hit my chest, and I moved my gaze from the ring to Tash. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “So, now I’m asking you to marry me. I want to spend my future with you and our little family.”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I want that too.”

  “We’ll be happy. I know we will. And nothing is ever going to come between us. Ever.”

  “I believe you.” She raised her face to kiss me, and I tasted her lips, so soft and sweet.

  My forever.

  Chapter 27

  MATT

  Ella hung up the phone and sighed. This was as tough for her as it was Finn, but I was so proud of the way my wife had handled it. There was never any talk of going to pick Finn up, even though that must have been what her heart was telling her to do. It was what mine told me.

  The relationship that Finn and Sam had formed was important. It gave me a mix of jealousy and pride to hear Finn call him Daddy Sam. We were equals in his eyes, and that was a good thing for Finn.

  Either way, our children would have a future we would all feature in. Paige had become part of our little family with her visits to the farm. Emily would soon enough be running around and playing with the other kids. There had been a time when I thought I’d never speak to Sam again, but somehow, we’d put the past behind us and moved forward. Probably because it was a past that should never have happened.

  Ella leaned her head on my shoulder. “I hate this.”

  I turned and kissed her hair. “I know you do, but we have to get past this for Finn’s sake. If he’d been really upset, I would have suggested postponing this, but he’s fine and he’s excited about his zoo trip tomorrow.”

  “He did sound excited about that. I guess we all just have to get used to this next stage.”

  “Did you two want a coffee?” Vanessa entered the room, having just tucked in little Ella. She’d finished her internship and decided to specialise in obstetrics. It was hard now she’d returned to work part-time after having her baby, but she’d pushed through in typical Vanessa fashion.

  “I’ll make it,” Ella said, standing.

  I tugged on her hand. “No, you sit and relax. I’ve got this.” Ella sat as I stood.

  Ness trailed me into the kitchen, and as I pulled the cups out of the cupboard, she leaned against the kitchen counter.

  “Are you okay? This must be a big change.”

  I nodded as I flicked on the kettle. “Having several years’ notice doesn’t make it any easier.”

  “I’m glad I don’t have to share Ella with anyone but Connor. I think it might break my heart the first night she stays away from me.”

  “It’s a shame any of them have to grow up.” I laughed. I spooned coffee and sugar into the cups. “I’m assuming Connor will want a coffee too.”

  “Probably. After he uses all the hot water in his shower.” She rolled her eyes.

  “I’m glad we have you guys. Ella might have been a mess without the distraction.”

  Vanessa sighed. “I guess once you do it a few times, it won’t be such a big deal?”

  “You know Ella. There’ll always be a hole in her heart when her son isn’t with her. But Finn is handling things okay. I’m so proud of him, Ness.”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “Stop talking. Don’t you dare make me cry.”

  The water bubbled, and the kettle switched off with a click. I retrieved the milk from the fridge and poured it into the cups. “I miss him too.”

  She looped her arm in mine, leaning against my shoulder. “I bet you do. But just remember you’re the one who was there for him, the first father he ever knew. You gave him consistency and grounded him. He’ll do well in his life because he came from a big, loving family.”

  “Stop talking. Don’t you dare make me cry.” I couldn’t help but echo her words back at her. Despite trying to put on a brave face, this was an emotional night. I’d have to wait until Sunday to see my boy again when all I wanted was to go and sit on the end of his bed and watch him sleep.

  “You’re such a big softy.”

  “Look who’s talking.”

  “Are you two having a moment?” Connor stood in the doorway, looking between Vanessa and me. Amusement played on his lips. He knew what a close friend Vanessa was to me—had been since I first met her.

  “Yes. I decided I need an extra baby daddy.” Vanessa poked her tongue out at him.

  He waggled his index finger at her. “Only one baby daddy in this house.”

  She sighed. “Alright, if you insist.” Letting go of me, she slipped her arms around Connor’s waist, laughing as he bent to kiss her.

  Leaving the two of them, I picked up Ella’s coffee and took it into the living room. She had such a glum expression on her face, staring at the television. If I asked her, I bet she wouldn’t even know what was on.

  “Here you go.”

  She looked up, her expression softening. “Thank you.”

  Taking the coffee from me, she closed her eyes as she took her first sip. “That’s so good.”

  “So, the question is, what are we going to do tomorrow to keep you occupied?” I sat beside her.

  “Well, I was thinking we could take the kids to the zoo, but if we run into Sam and Finn, that’s just going to confuse Finn.”

  I raised my free hand and stroked her hair. “That’s very grown-up of you.”

  Laughing, she shook her head. “It’d just confuse me too. It’s about self-preservation as much as anything.”

  “Remember when we used to go down to Mission Bay? We could take the kids, grab fish and chips, and sit on the beach.”

  Her gaze intensified. “Remember that date night we went down there and I blew you in the car park?”

  “It’s pretty hard to forget.”

  “Do you think Ness and Connor would babysit while we had a repeat?”

  I grinned. “Up for a bit of nostalgia, Mrs Carver?”

  “That was the night you proposed to me.”

  Taking her cup from her hands, I placed it with mine on the coffee table. I remembered that night well—the night I’d presented her with a ring and told her I wanted to spend forever with her.

  “Matt.” She never got the chance to say anything else as I pressed her against the back of the couch and kissed her. It didn’t matter where we were, or who might walk in, I needed to show my wife just how much I loved her. How much I’d always loved her.

  “Can’t leave you two alone for five minutes.” Vanessa’s voice came from somewhere behind me, but I didn’t care.

  Ella wiggled out from under me, laughing, the joy in her eyes clear to see. “If that was a distraction, it worked.”

  “I think we should forget about coffee and get some sleep.” I waggled my eyebrows as she nodded.

  “I think that’s a great idea.”

  Georgia and Zach were camped out in Isabella’s room. We had a room all to ourselves. The night was ours.

  “Just make sure you change the sheets before you go home.” Vanessa smirked as Connor sat on a recliner behind her, pulling her down onto his lap.

  “I’ve burned sheets in this place before. I’ll do that if I have to.” Ella laughed. />
  “Eww.” That was the last thing we heard from Vanessa as we entered the bedroom and pulled the door shut.

  Best distraction ever.

  Chapter 28

  SAM

  “There’s the zoo,” Paige shrieked as we pulled into the car park. Getting here had been easy—finding a park, not so much. I drove around looking for a space a couple of times until I saw someone backing out and waited.

  “Phant, phant,” Emily chanted from the back seat. She had a thing for elephants, and I’d told her there were two at the zoo.

  “Yes, sweetheart, we’ll go see the elephant really shortly.”

  “I wanna see the lions,” Finn said.

  “And the tigers.” Paige bounced in her seat.

  I turned into the park. “Well, let me get the pram out of the boot, and we’ll go and see all of the animals.”

  Paige and Finn got out of the car as I did, and I walked around and took out and set up the pram before letting Emily out of her seat. She kissed me as I placed her in it, and I laughed, kissing her back.

  “Let’s go.” I pushed the pram, with Finn and Paige tagging along behind me.

  Inside, the giraffes were the first thing to see. Emily screeched and pointed as a zebra came into view. She’d be going nuts by the time we got to the elephants. This could be a long day.

  An hour later, we’d reached the tigers. Emily had been through all kinds of excitement with every animal. Now she was flagging, and I just knew if she wasn’t asleep by the time we got back to the car, it wouldn’t take much longer. The other two ran ahead as I followed them toward the enclosure.

  And then I saw her.

  Even after all this time, I didn’t fail to recognise Petra. This was the woman I’d ruined my marriage for, my biggest mistake, the woman who’d lied to me.

  I’d done what I thought was the right thing when she’d told me she was pregnant. I’d left the wife I’d loved behind. After months of trying and failing to conceive with Ella, I’d had such a warped sense of pride when Petra had told me she was pregnant. I’d been feeling so helpless, unable to give my wife the support or the baby she needed, when my masculinity was confirmed by a woman I never should have gone near.