Fighting to Forgive (Fighting Series)

by Salsbury, JB

  “I’m sure you can imagine after our move and my divorce, Elle’s been having a hard time adjusting. Blake suggested that we check out your place, maybe get some counseling.”

  She doesn’t say anything, and nerves have me rushing to fill the dead air between us. “I’m so afraid that if I don’t jump on getting help, it’ll be too late. It may already be too late, but I have to try.”

  She stares at me, unmoving for a few seconds, and then blinks. “That’s a good idea. We have some great therapists on staff.” Phone in hand, she taps something onto the screen. “There. I sent you the contact info. Ask for Milena. That’s my mom.”

  Her mom? “Great. Thank you. I know it’s probably weird me asking you for all this help, first my car, now this, but—”

  “No.” She shakes her head. “I’m happy to do it. It’s nice to see a mom who cares enough about her relationship with her daughter to fight for it.” The sadness in her eyes is hard to look at. “I get it, Layla. Things haven’t always been good between my mom and me, but we’re working on repairing old wounds.”

  “Are you sure that’s possible? I mean, some hurts run deep. What if the damage is too much?”

  She stares out the window, her finger brushing absent-mindedly across her scarred eyebrow. I’ve heard whispers of her story at work, that her father kidnapped her before she was forced to kill him. It’s amazing to look at this young woman today. Despite all that she’s been through, here she is. Laughing, smiling, living. Moving on.

  Shaking her head, she turns back to me. She smiles and takes a sip of her drink. “You know, I have to believe that forgiveness is possible for even the worst offenses. If not, then what’s the point in it all? Everything shapes who you are, who your daughter will become. And even the bad can be used for good.”

  “I hope you’re right. I really do.”

  “I know I’m right. I’ve lived it.” She tilts her head to fix her eyes on mine, and I see the faith in her gaze. “It’ll all work out for the best. Don’t give up until it does.”

  I focus on my wine and consider her words. I could leave it at that, but in the end, curiosity gets the best of me. “What happened between you and your—” Before I can ask for more details, a beautiful blonde with thick bangs comes and flops down in the booth beside Raven.

  “Fuck, finally. Sorry I’m late.” She drops her head back against the high-back seat. “I thought my shift would never end.”

  Raven smiles at the woman, the shadows in her eyes from our earlier discussion now gone. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” She shoves her with her shoulder. “Eve, this is my friend Layla. Layla, my overly dramatic friend Eve.”

  Eve rolls her head on her shoulders and meets my eyes. “Hey—wow! You’re gorgeous!”

  My cheeks heat, and I smile at the ballsy girl. “Thank you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

  Propping her head on her hand, she leans in. “Are you single?”

  “Eve!” Raven says, her eyes bulging and her mouth slack.

  “What?” She looks from Raven back to me. “So? Are you?”

  Raven shakes her head and groans. “She’s with Blake.”

  What? “No, I’m—”

  “Really?” Eve looks as surprised as I feel by Raven’s announcement.

  “Yes. She’s still coming to terms with it, but yes.”

  I’m shaking my head “No”, but my body is screaming in agreement.

  Eve shrugs and slumps back in her chair. “Damn, all the hot chicks are taken.”

  Raven rolls her eyes. “She got burned pretty bad, now she swears she’s off men forever.” She turns her body in the booth to face her friend. “Eve, you’re not gay. You like men.”

  “I need a drink.” She leans over to inspect Raven’s glass. “What are you drinking?” Eve takes a sniff of the red juice. “Is this a vodka cranberry, minus the vodka?”

  Raven’s cheeks flush pink, and she fidgets in her seat. “Yeah. So, I’m driving.”

  “No, you’re not. We’re taking a cab.” An uncomfortable silence passes between the two friends, and for a second I wish I could melt into my seat and disappear.

  Eve turns her body completely so that she’s facing Raven head on. “You’re lying. I can tell. You’re doing that…”—she rolls her hand and wiggles her fingers in the air—“fidgety thing you do.”

  Raven rolls her straw between her fingers. “I’m not lying, I—”

  “Holy shit! Holy fucking shit, you’re pregnant!” Eve darts out of the booth and jumps up and down. “Don’t lie to me, bitch!” She points at Raven. “You are!”

  Raven buries her face in her hands, her shoulders bouncing with what I think is laughter. Or, is she crying?

  “Hey, are you okay?” I ask Raven, ignoring the mixture of excited curse words that pour from Eve.

  Raven looks up, smiling.

  Oh, phew.

  “She’s psychotic.” Raven smiles and now that I take a closer look, she does have that glow. I’m surprised I didn’t see it earlier. There’s only one thing that causes a woman to shine like that.

  “You are.” A grin brought on by her contagious joy tugs at my lips.

  “Sit down and stop making a scene.” She leans over and yanks Eve back into the booth.

  “Fess up, Rave.” Eve crosses her arms in an I-won’t-tolerate-bullshit way.

  Raven looks back and forth between us, and we lean in, hanging on for an answer.

  She gnaws the inside of her mouth, her eyes sparkling. “I’m not sure.”

  Eve throws her hands in the air. “What do you mean, you’re not sure?”

  “Did you skip a period?” I’m trying to speak softly to avoid listening ears, but loud enough to be heard over Raven’s boisterous friend.

  “I did, but it’s only been a few days.”

  I grab my purse and slide out of the booth. “Come on. We’re getting you a pregnancy test.”

  “Fuck yeah, I knew I liked this chick.” Eve slides out behind me, Raven giggling behind her.

  ~*~

  An hour and one very interesting visit to the drugstore public restroom later, we’re at The Blackout. Mac just delivered our drinks and hung out for a little to shoot the breeze. We’re huddled around a high-top table, our eyes on each other, taking long sips from our drinks.

  I smile around my straw, trying to keep my eyes on stage where Ataxia is setting up. Eve’s smiling too, her head rocking back and forth in disbelief.

  Someone needs to say something. From the moment we left the drugstore and hopped in a cab, no one’s talked about it.

  “Lookin’ good ladies,” says a guy from the table next to us.

  They haven’t been discreet about their gawking, but what started as appreciative staring has escalated to catcalls. Annoying.

  “You know them?” I break the silence at our table.

  Raven and Eve turn in unison, then turn back, shaking their heads.

  The guys smile our way, and one even holds up his drink in an air-cheers. “Let us know if you get lonely. We’d be happy to keep three beautiful—” His eyes move to something just over our heads, and his face pales.

  What the hell?

  And that’s when I feel it.

  An electricity charges the air. The kind that makes girls stand taller and men slink in their seats as if a predator’s on approach. The tension in the air is palpable, and all eyes are aimed just past our table. I swing around and—of course.

  Strolling toward us like they own not only the club but the air in it, is a group of UFL fighters. Jonah and Blake are up front with Caleb, and Mason is at their back. They walk with a swagger that makes even the homo-curious Eve push out her breasts. What is it about a good-looking man that makes a woman’s breasts take on a life of their own?

  They saunter toward us. Jonah’s eyes are on Raven, and Blake’s are on me. I suck down the rest of my drink in the seconds it takes for him to step into my space, the sound of my gurgling straw greeting his approach.

&nb
sp; “Hey, Mouse. Think we could get in on girls’ night out?” He throws his arm over my shoulder and hugs me to his side. The smell of rain and woods makes my head swim.

  I tilt my head up to look into his perfect, handsome face. “Depends. You comfortable talking about menstruation?”

  “Nope.” He dips his head, motioning to Jonah. “But that bitch is. I’m sure him and Raven are on the same cycle by now.”

  “One more word about my girl’s cycle and I’ll cycle my fist through your jaw,” Jonah says from his place behind his wife. He runs his hands down her arms and kisses her neck.

  Blake laughs at the verbal jab.

  “Dudes crashing ladies night. Awesome.” Eve’s sarcasm draws the attention of the table.

  Blake grins her way. “Quit your bitchin’. You come to The Blackout, you had to expect we’d be here. Next time hit up the drag club. Won’t find our asses anywhere near that shit.”

  “Whatever.” She flicks her straw to point at Mason. “Who’s the new guy?”

  He takes his cue and slides in next to Eve, his bright white smile shining along with his equally bright eyes.

  “Baywatch, this is Eve.” Blake nods across the table. “Eve, Baywatch.”

  “Name’s Mason.” He corrects then shakes her hand. “Did it hurt?”

  She brings herself closer to him, tilting her head. “Excuse me?”

  Mason winks at Blake, then swings his gaze back to Eve. “Did it hurt? Falling from heaven?”

  “Aw, fuck.” Blake shakes with silent laughter against my shoulder.

  “Are you for real?” Eve’s answering smile looks less than offended.

  If I had to guess, I’d say she’s not as put-off by men as she’d like to be.

  “Yeah, angel. I’m real. Real lucky I’m not blind.” He steps back and runs his eyes up and down her body.

  She giggles, actually giggles.

  Caleb smacks his hand on the table. “I’ll grab some drinks. You ladies want another round?”

  I pull my eyes off Eve and Mason. “Sure, Mac knows what we’re drinking.”

  He nods and walks off.

  “You having a good time, Mouse?” Blake murmurs against my temple.

  A shiver cascades down my spine. “Mm-hm.”

  “You girls getting hammered tonight or what?” Jonah switches positions with Raven so that he’s sitting, and pulls her onto his lap. “I like it when you’re tipsy.”

  She slaps his arm playfully. “No, we’re not getting hammered.”

  Eve raises her hand. “I’m getting hammered.”

  “What part of “girls’ night out” didn’t you understand?” Raven says to her husband.

  “Hey, we wanted to see Rex play. If you want, we can move to the other side of the club.” Jonah’s arms visibly flex around her waist, betraying his words.

  She kisses his right cheek then the left. “No way.”

  “Raven, why don’t you tell Jonah what we did after dinner?” Eve’s teasing grin is met with a scowl from her friend.

  Blake nudges my side. “What did you girls do?”

  “Huh?” I look up into his eyes and see the sexy smile playing on his lips. “Oh, ah…”

  I look at Raven for rescue. She stares back at me with eyes as big as beach balls.

  “Layla’s vodka soda, Eve’s cosmo, and Raven’s cranberry juice.” Caleb drops the drinks in their respective places in front of us, and a waitress follows behind him with four beers for the guys.

  “Baby, I thought you’d be buzzed by now.” Jonah runs his fingers through her hair. “Cranberry juice? Have a drink, I’ll drive you home.”

  Oh, no. The cranberry juice was the kiss of death with Eve.

  “Yeah, Rave. Have a drink. Jonah will—oh, wait!” Eve slaps her forehead. “You can’t.” She laughs to herself.

  “Eve, shut up.” Raven’s reprimand has little effect on her.

  “What’s going on, baby? You sick?” His questions are heavy with concern.

  “No. I’m not sick.” Raven places her hand on Jonah’s cheek and runs her thumb along his eyebrow.

  Jonah’s eyes get dark and bore into his wife’s. Blake pulls me close, his hand gliding up into my hair. The tension swirls between everyone at the table, and I wonder how long until someone blurts it out. It better be soon or, going by the tense set of his jaw, Jonah may lose it.

  “I wanted to tell you when we were alone, but since some people can’t keep their big fat mouth shut…”

  We all lean in. Even knowing what she’s about to say, I feel like I’m waiting for a surprise.

  She frames his face with her hands. With a kiss on his lips, she moves to his ear and whispers.

  Blake’s lips are at my ear. “What’s going—”

  “Shh!” I shush him and lean in closer to the couple.

  Everyone’s silent. Watching.

  She pulls back, eyebrows raised at her husband. He looks at her briefly and then drops his forehead to her chest. She holds him close, her fingers running through his hair as she whispers something private. He nods a few times into her hold, presumably affirming her words. He nuzzles in deeper and she accepts him, cradling his head like she will their newborn baby.

  In this beautiful moment between two people who are devoted to each other and connected through their shared love, I’m overwhelmed with sadness. As a witness to the moment that will forever change their lives, I can’t help but feel envy. Being so in love with someone that you don’t know where you start and they end. Joy over the idea of new life, a living, breathing, physical manifestation of the love you share for one another. The support of a soul partner that will protect you, and keep you and your unborn child safe and healthy until they breathe their last breath.

  “Layla.” Eve hands me a napkin and motions to her face.

  Shit. I dab away the couple of tears that ran loose on me and smile through my somber thoughts.

  “You okay, Mouse?” Blake kisses my head, and I nod against his lips.

  “Yeah. It’s just really sweet, that’s all.”

  “What’s really sweet? I can’t figure out what the hell’s going on.”

  I laugh and tilt my head up to his smiling face. “Ask them.”

  “Yo, what the fuck’s going on?” Blake yells, breaking up the romantic moment.

  I slap his chest. “Shut up.”

  Jonah kisses his wife and looks around the table. The most shocking smile I’ve ever seen on a man is etched into his face. “We’re having a baby.”

  Blake

  Well, fuck me. I knew they were in a hurry, but I didn’t expect that so soon. I don’t get it. Why the urgent need to start a family? If I ever get married, I don’t think I’d be ready to share my bride with a kid. Wait, bride? Kid? What the hell’s wrong with me?

  “Congrats, man.” I shake Jonah’s hand. “Happy for you.”

  Layla leans into me and her arm tightens around my waist. My eyes roll to the ceiling without her noticing. What is it with women and babies? It’s like an airborne infection that spreads instantly and makes chicks get all weepy.

  Just the thought of being a father, having that kind of responsibility over another human… shit, I’m barely taking care of myself. Chances are, I’d end up being a prick dad. One who controls, who sets ridiculously high expectations, who dominates by the sheer strength of my voice. I’m not cut out for parenthood.

  But neither was Jonah, until Raven.

  When Raven came into the guy’s life, it’s like he saw the world through a different pair of shades. At the time, I thought he was an idiot, but now that I’ve seen him with his girl, I get it. For the first time ever, I get the appeal of being in a committed relationship. Having someone to eat, sleep, and laugh with every day. Someone who asks about your day and genuinely cares about the answer. A best friend who I can share my secrets with, free of judgment.

  I look down at Layla while she goes back and forth with Raven about girlie baby shit. Layla’s funny and relaxed, with ju
st the right amount of fuck-you attitude. Gorgeous in a way that makes my chest throb harder than my dick. Now there’s a revelation.

  Damn. With all her baggage and her hang-ups, I’m falling for this girl.

  “I hate to be a party pooper, guys. But I have to work tomorrow.” The sound of Layla’s voice pulls me back from my head.

  “Oh, right. The promo party at Flesh.” Raven’s eyes dart between Layla and me, like she’s waiting for me to blow up and start tossing tables.

  But I’ve got other plans.

  “I’ll take you home.” I pull her up from her seat and wait while she gives everyone hugs good night.

  The douchebag-dicks at a nearby table rake their hungry eyes over her tight little body. I glare in their direction, quickly realizing that they’re not the only ones checking her out. Three other dudes standing at the bar are doing the same. It’s like she’s north, and no matter where she moves their needle-dick-compasses follow. Fuck.

  Ready to get her the hell out of here, I move to grab her hand. She’s hugging Caleb, and I bite back a growl when I catch Mason checking out her ass. He smiles at me before he wipes the grin from his face. Yeah, bitch. Not yours.

  A voice deep inside my head yells she’s not mine either.

  That shit’s changing. Tonight.

  Impatiently, I grab her hand to pull her out of the club and into the parking lot.

  “Blake.” In her high heels, she struggles to keep my quickened pace. “Slow down.”

  I can’t. There’s something I need to do. And nothing outside of a brick wall thrown between us is going to stop me. Hell, not even that.

  When my car’s a few yards away, I hit unlock on my fob.

  The few steps seem like miles as urgency pushes me forward. At the car, I move us both to the driver’s side.

  “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

  I swing the door open, hoping it will give us a sliver of privacy, and turn her to me. Moving in, I press her back against the driver’s seat and shove my hands into her loose, silken hair.

  “Ask me.” My growled demand makes her jump.

  “Blake, I don’t under—”

  I touch my forehead to hers and force myself under control. “Torture. Being so close. Smelling you all over with the taste of your kiss still on my tongue. Standing by while motherfuckers check you out. Knowing that they’re dreaming about what I know to be better than anything their wildest fantasies could come up with. Fuck, it’s killin’ me.”