To Love a Libertine

by LeFey, Liana

  “I will, slowly and thoroughly,” he promised. “And when I’m done, there will not be an inch of you I have not explored and enjoyed. You will be mine in every sense of the word. My name will live in your memory, on your lips, and in your flesh forever. No man will ever be able to erase it.”

  The hoarse determination in his voice told her he intended to deliver on his vow. Arching her back, she begged him silently to do so, knowing what lay in store for her was both agony and delight.

  Smiling, he accepted her offering and again bent over her.

  When the fire had burned low and its flames were guttering, when her body was all but spent, when she whispered his name in helpless need and abandon, then and only then did he release her from her bonds.

  Clasped in the cradle of her quivering thighs, he rose above her and positioned himself. Taking her pliant mouth in a surprisingly tender kiss, he drove into her in one swift, gliding thrust, eased by the abundant, slick nectar of her pleasure.

  She tensed at the sudden, blinding pain as her maidenhead gave way, as he buried his thick shaft deep inside her throbbing core and lay there motionless, his body hovering above hers like a taut bowstring. The heat and fullness of him inside her was a new sensation, one that was both pain and bliss. It felt as though he touched the very center of her being.

  Tears gathered and spilled over unbidden, trailing from the corners of her eyes down into the hair at her temples. But it wasn’t pain that made her weep. So beautiful was Percy there above her, his dark eyes staring into her with such tenderness and passion that, for a moment, just a moment, she let herself believe he loved her as much as she did him. Lifting her hands from where she had just scored his shoulders with her nails, she framed his face and arched up to kiss his mouth.

  Down below, she felt a surge as he hardened anew within her, his cock swelling yet more, stretching her another increment. Slowly, he began to move, rocking her gently back and forth until her body and his followed the same rhythm. Desire soon overshadowed the pain, flooding her once more with pleasurable sensation.

  The delectable tension returned and built inside her until, with a hoarse cry, she gave up trying to hold it back. Crest after crest of unparalleled ecstasy crashed over and through her as her whole body seized in pure delight.

  Again and again she clenched around his hardness, her moans drowned by the sound of his own cry as he thrust hard into her once more and remained there. Beneath her hands his muscles bunched and quivered. Then, deep inside, in the place where they were joined, she felt a new heat, eliciting another series of spasms even stronger than before.

  The room spun, the world turned upside down, and she pulled at his shoulders, dragging him down. The solidity of him atop her was an alien comfort. And yet it felt so right, so familiar, to have his weight borne by her fragility, his hot, damp skin against hers until she couldn’t tell his flesh from her own. His breath came fast and uneven, his heart pounded against hers.

  “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you, Percy.” Holding him tight, she crooned his name over and over, delighting in his release as he’d delighted in hers.

  When the last shudder finally subsided, he rolled to one side, taking her with him. His head lay against her breast, and she held him there, stroking the damp burnished curls back from his brow and temple.

  This was where she would exist for eternity, this moment right here and now and no other. Whatever came, she would remember this night and her heart and soul would live and dwell in it. He had indeed made her his own. She belonged to him now, utterly.

  …

  “The sun is a long way from rising yet,” Percy said as Eden tried to ease off the bed, presumably to prevent his awakening.

  She stilled. “I must return before I am discovered missing.”

  “Why? The deed is done. Why not simply stay with me?”

  “You know why.” Her voice was dull with resignation. “As I said before, I will look to continue our…arrangement after I’m married. Ravenwood won’t care what I do as long as I’m discreet.”

  She could not know how true her words were. Despite a rush of anger, he rose calmly and tended the dying fire until it blazed once more. “He has told you this?”

  “Not in so many words, but his manner speaks for itself. He is a cold man. He hardly speaks to me and, when he does, it is only of trivial matters. And he has certainly never tried to touch me the way you do, the way other men seem to always want to do. In fact I would say he goes out of his way to avoid it.”

  She shifted, and his eyes were drawn to the way the firelight played on her bare skin. “Before I came here, I asked my stepmother why he had asked for my hand when he so clearly does not desire me. She told me only that he must marry, and I am his choice.”

  “You don’t have to do this, Eden. We can leave here tonight and be gone before they can do anything about it.”

  “And what of my family?” she shot back. “Everything has been agreed upon. Their ruin will only be stayed by my marriage to Ravenwood.”

  “Why should you have to pay the price for your father’s poor judgment?”

  A tear slid down her cheek, leaving behind a glittering trail in the dim light. “I told you, I’m not doing it for him.”

  He was unable to keep the bitterness from bleeding into his voice. “And how long do you think it will be before your father puts your brother in jeopardy again?”

  “He has learned his lesson.”

  “At your expense, and only this one time.” Breathing deeply, he reached out to caress her shoulder. “Much as it pains me to say it, I fear his reformation won’t last. You may mark my words, for I know many men like him. They cannot stop themselves wagering even when they know they have not the means to pay the debt should they lose. It is a sickness, Eden. A sickness of the mind that progressively worsens over time. He’ll never stop until he runs out of means. It won’t be long before your family is in the same state again. Such men require someone to manage their finances lest they ruin themselves.”

  “Nevertheless, I have a duty to—”

  “A man who would sell you to save himself?”

  Her jaw tightened. “I won’t be the one to cast a shadow of shame upon my—”

  “No, but you would shame yourself by marrying a man you don’t love!”

  She stared at him in silence. “Love is a sacrifice of self,” she at last whispered. “For all their faults, I love my family. They are all I have. I cannot allow them to fall if it is within my power to prevent it.”

  “All you have? What of us?” His heart contracted when she did not look at him or answer. Helpless, he watched her rise and pick up her wrapper from the floor. “You love me, Eden. I heard you say it.”

  “Yes.” Her voice was thick and heavy. “I won’t deny it, but I also won’t delude myself. You care for me as a friend of sorts, and you desire my body, but it is not love. I could not bear to marry you and then watch you grow indifferent toward me or worse, resentful when you meet the woman you can love. I could not stand to condemn us both to such a cruel fate.”

  She bent to retrieve her sash from where it lay beside the bed. A flicker of a smile played at the corners of her mouth as she ran it between her fingers, no doubt remembering its previous employment. Tying it around her waist, she looked up to meet his eyes with an unwavering gaze.

  “Percy, let us be content to remain as we are now—good friends become lovers—and enjoy it while we may, knowing we have done what is best for those innocent or unable to help themselves. My brother. My father—as you say, it is a kind of sickness he suffers. Even my stepmother. I will do what I can to save them this once and hold to the hope that my sacrifice won’t be in vain.” She turned and moved toward the door.

  “Eden…” He wanted to say what was in his heart, but the words would not come. Fear bound his tongue and refused to set it loose. She loved him. He’d heard her say it. Why could he not say it back?

  “Good-bye, Percy,” she said over
her shoulder. “I’ll send word when things have settled. If you still want me, I will come to you.” She paused, then padded back over and kissed him softly on the lips. “Thank you for tonight. You have given me the strength to face my fate, and for that I shall always be grateful.”

  The moment the door shut behind her, Percy turned and plowed a fist into his pillow. Hell’s fires would be extinguished before he let her go through with that unholy wedding. He didn’t want Eden for his mistress, damn it—he wanted her for his wife.

  He couldn’t stop her leaving now without risking everything, but there was another way. He’d double Ravenwood’s offer to Sir Geoffrey, a hundred thousand pounds to sever the engagement and allow Eden to marry him instead. Half would pay off his debt, the other half in the form of a monthly stipend with mandatory oversight would prevent the man from gambling it all away in a toss. That should satisfy any familial duty.

  As for Ravenwood, he’d have another quiet word with the fellow, and this time he would cooperate or he would hang. He doubted the man would choose to swing.

  A special license would see an end to this nonsense. All would be done quickly and with as little publicity as possible. There would be a brief wagging of tongues over their hasty marriage, but the next juicy whisper about someone else would relegate their story to the back of the gossip cupboard. No one was interested in happily married and therefore boring couples.

  He buried his face in the pillow where Eden’s head had lain. Inhaling deeply, he breathed in her lavender scent.

  God, but he missed her already. To fall asleep with her in his arms every night and wake in the morning beside her every day would be heaven on earth. Loneliness, black and chill, crept over him, leaving a hollow ache in his soul. He didn’t just want Eden, he needed her. No one and nothing else would fill the void in his life.

  Rising, he dressed himself and made ready to leave. There was no point in lingering. To be seen here in the morning would only cause trouble and delay his purpose. Now he’d spoken with Eden, he knew what his purpose was and intended to see it through. Going to the stables, he woke the attendant and demanded his horse readied.

  His pocket watch confirmed it was half past four. Dawn was still a ways off, but a waxing gibbous moon still rode high in a cloudless sky, providing ample light. London was but a few miles to the southeast. Though he hardly believed they would be needed, he readied his pistols. The speed at which he intended to ride all but guaranteed he’d be left in peace, but it was always best to be prepared.

  Pausing at the wide gate at the end of the road to Dunsany’s manor house, he looked back. Only a few windows remained lit, and none was Eden’s. For her sake, he prayed she’d made it back to her room undiscovered. Turning his horse to the road ahead, he made for London.

  Exhausted, he arrived at Leicester Square just as the eastern sky was lightening. Letting himself in, he climbed the stairs to his chamber. “I’ve already ordered a bath,” he told Seamus, who stood rubbing his eyes and blinking in confusion as he entered. He hadn’t brought his valet along with him to Dunsany’s because he hadn’t intended to stay the night. Technically he hadn’t, as it was only just now dawn. “I’ll need a shave and a fresh suit of clothes. Nothing too lavish. Something dark with nice trim. I’m going out again as soon as I’m presentable. I’ve already sent word to the groom to ready the carriage.”

  “Shall I have coffee sent up?” inquired Seamus, hurrying to take the coat and cravat, which were being tossed at him.

  Percy grunted approval. His staff knew better than to ask whether or not he’d slept. They assumed, most of the time correctly, that he hadn’t.

  Two hours later, dressed, fed, and at least somewhat refreshed, he boarded his carriage to pay His Eminence, the archbishop, a visit. By noon, his purse was a good deal lighter, but he had a special license in hand. Now all he had to do was get the bride’s father to cooperate and sign it.

  “I’m here to speak to Sir Geoffrey,” he told the servant who answered the door. “And don’t tell me he’s not in.” He knew from Eden that he’d remained in London last night.

  The man, though white-faced and clearly nervous, nodded and ushered him in with instructions to wait in the foyer.

  Ten minutes passed as he cooled his heels in the tomb-like silence of the entry hall. So much for the prestige of rank.

  He rose at the long anticipated sound of approaching footsteps, but it was not Sir Geoffrey who greeted him. “Lord Tavistoke, I must confess I did not expect to see you here again,” said Lady Catherine, sailing in with a scowl. “Eden is not here.”

  “I’m here to see your husband, Lady Catherine. I have business to discuss with him.”

  “He does not wish to be disturbed,” she replied, lifting a brow. “You may tell me, and I will be happy to deliver your message to him.”

  So this is how it is to be. Fine. Blunt speech was akin to using an axe where a scalpel would suffice, but in this case it was apparent the broader blade was needed. “Eden’s engagement to Ravenwood is invalid.”

  “I beg your pardon?” gasped the woman, drawing herself up in outrage.

  Her bluster was ineffectual. “Invalid,” he repeated, enunciating each syllable. “I asked Eden to be my wife many weeks prior to his proposal, and she accepted. I have come to speak with her father in an attempt to resolve any confusion.”

  “I was unaware of any understanding between you,” she replied coldly. “As Eden failed to disclose it prior to accepting Ravenwood’s proposal, I must assume the nature of this…understanding was such that she did not take it seriously.”

  “Eden only accepted his offer because she was forced to do so,” he bit out. “Forced by you. I am aware of Sir Geoffrey’s financial situation, and I’m prepared to render discreet assistance.”

  She blanched. “I’m afraid your offer comes too late. An agreement has already been struck between our families. Eden will marry Ravenwood, and that is final. There is nothing that can be done to change it.”

  Now the words came out. “I love her.” He looked her in the eye and dared her to contradict him.

  The color returned to her cheeks all in a rush. “Even if I believed you, I—”

  “Don’t try my patience, woman!” he barked, stepping close enough to glare down at her. He lowered his voice. “I love Eden more than my own life, and I will not see her forced to marry that—” He almost said buggerer. “That blackguard in order to save her family from her father’s folly and your greed. If it is money you want, I have it in plenty. You may tell your lord husband I’m willing to offer twice what Ravenwood is paying. One hundred thousand.”

  Her mouth fell open in an O of surprise, but she quickly regained composure. “It will make no difference,” she said, though he heard regret in her voice. “Ravenwood has already given him the settlement.”

  “And it has already been spent,” he wryly asserted.

  “Yes.”

  “No matter. I can give him the money to repay Ravenwood and he’ll never know the difference.”

  “He won’t accept it.”

  “Why?” Suspicion filled him as she fidgeted. “Why would Sir Geoffrey turn down such an offer when it would take care of his debt and make him a rich man?” Her lips compressed, and dread cast its shadow over his heart. “I asked you a question, madam. Why would he not accept such a generous offer?”

  “Because it is a matter of honor.”

  “You mean it is a matter of secrecy.” Cold fury settled into the pit of his stomach. “Do Eden’s wishes factor into your decisions at all, I wonder? She does not love him. She loves me.”

  Her chin rose. “Again, I tell you Eden has made no mention of such strong sentiment where you are concerned. If she did have such feelings for you, she will have to learn to be content with her lot. She has accepted Ravenwood’s offer, their engagement has been made public, and it will stand.”

  Prudence warred briefly with anger and lost. “Eden expressed her sentiments to me in privat
e because she knew you did not approve of me. She asked me to wait in the hope you would see reason and accept her choice. You’ve driven her into a corner and forced her to accept a man she does not love.”

  “On what do you base these claims, may I ask?” she countered. “You have not seen Eden in—”

  “Several hours,” he finished for her, gratified to see her jaw again drop. “Yes. I attended Lord Dunsany’s house party last night, during which I spoke with Eden at length. She told me everything.” He debated but an instant before continuing. It was the only way. “I did not wish to be indelicate and would have preferred to address Sir Geoffrey, but as he refuses to see me and has put you in charge of the matter, I will address it with you.” He stepped closer and lowered his voice. “If Ravenwood’s terms stipulate his bride’s virginal state, then I’m afraid he is in for quite a disappointment.”

  Her eyes went wide in her ashen face. “What?”

  “I would speak with your husband, madam,” he reiterated, refusing to elaborate further. “I require his signature.” Reaching into his breast pocket, he withdrew the special marriage license and extended it so she could see the archbishop’s signature and seal.

  It was as if he held out a naked blade rather than a piece of parchment.

  “No,” she said, backing away. “Too much depends on this marriage. You must leave at once and never return.”

  “And if Eden is with child? My child? What then will you do?”

  “If there is a child, he won’t know it’s not his,” she hissed. “As for you, it certainly would not be the first time your cuckoo ended up in another man’s nest. Eden will marry Ravenwood. If she chooses to carry on an affair with you after she speaks her vows, that’s her own business—and her husband’s.”

  He stared at her, unbelieving. “You would rather Eden engage in adultery than allow her to marry a man she loves, a man who loves her in return? Have you neither heart nor soul?”

  “This is not a matter of the heart but of necessity,” she replied in a strained whisper. “Even if you speak the truth, this engagement cannot be broken. She must marry him.”