Momma's Baby, Daddy's Maybe

by Jamise L. Dames

  The door creaked open, temporarily saving Michael from his mother’s wrath. Simone walked in Kennedy’s room, turned around, and walked back out.

  * * *

  As Simone stood in front of the door Derrick sauntered down the hall. She had called and told him to come to the hospital and was now sorry that she did. Simone waved and watched as he and Jared, who had shown up as soon as she stepped out of the room, shared a brotherly hug and then talked as they walked toward the waiting room. With Jared and Derrick gone, Simone peeked into Kennedy’s room and asked if she was okay.

  After Kennedy assured her that she was fine, she went to the waiting room and sat next to Derrick and whispered in his ear. She hated to be rude but had to let him know who was in Kennedy’s room. Derrick scooted forward in his seat as though preparing to get up and leave.

  Simone grabbed his sleeve. “Don’t leave, Derrick. You don’t have to go.”

  Jared sat looking through a magazine.

  “I wasn’t leaving. I’m going to Kennedy’s room. I think I should be in there just in case my name comes up.”

  Jared put his magazine down. “Is everything okay? Is there something I need to know about that you guys aren’t telling me?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing,” Simone lied.

  “Nothing?” Derrick turned and crinkled his face. “I’ll tell you what happened, man, and it’s not nothing. Maybe Simone won’t tell you, but I will. Our code of ethics, that’s what you doctors go by, right? Well our code of ethics, mine and Simone’s, are different.”

  Simone cleared her throat. “Jared, I don’t mean to be rude, but I think that it’s up to Kennedy to tell you. It’s her business to tell, not ours.”

  “Well, if you say so,” Jared said, shrugging.

  “Simone, don’t make me come over there and shake some sense into you. You went through all of that schooling and lost your common sense. It may not be your business to tell, but it’s mine. I went through it too.”

  * * *

  Simone listened as Derrick told Jared about his year-long relationship with Michael. Jared offered no expression at Derrick’s admittance to being bisexual. Simone cringed as she heard the hurt in her brother’s voice. Damn, she had only been feeling sorry for Kennedy, when she should’ve sympathized with them both. Derrick had lost more than Kennedy did. Even though Kennedy might have given Michael a child, it couldn’t compare, because Derrick had given him his heart. Derrick was in love with Michael and Kennedy wasn’t. Kennedy was in love with Jared.

  * * *

  Mrs. Montgomery was stunned. Her once flawless makeup was ruined by tears. Kennedy couldn’t believe that Michael had stepped up and faced his mother like the man she knew he could be. No one had a dry eye in the room when Michael finished confessing his love for both men and women. Kennedy didn’t know if she cried because she felt sorry for him or because she felt sorry for her child. All she knew was that she didn’t hate Michael. As much as she wanted to, she couldn’t.

  Kennedy’s heart went out to Michael. How unfair for a person to have to hide who he was. Life was hard enough without having to try to find a way to incorporate a hidden life. But as sorry as Kennedy felt for Michael, she felt even sorrier for Mrs. Montgomery.

  Mrs. Montgomery was from the old school, the school that had been updated and revised, but one couldn’t convince Mrs. Montgomery of that. Mrs. Montgomery thought she was right and the rest of the world was wrong and condemned to hell. But Kennedy knew the truth was, Mrs. Montgomery was afraid. She judged harshly because she was scared that someone would look down on her and her parenting skills because her sons weren’t “all man.”

  Kennedy wiped her eyes. “Ma, let me ask you a question. How come you can’t accept your sons for who they are?”

  “Because I didn’t raise no sissies, that’s why. I didn’t birth no boys in dresses.” Mrs. Montgomery crossed her heavy arms over her massive chest.

  “I understand that. But you know what, I just had a son and he’s perfect—”

  “Ain’t nobody perfect in this world. Only Adam and Jesus, and Adam lost it. A perfect man ruined it for us and a perfect one saved us.” Mrs. Montgomery pursed her lips.

  “Ma, let me speak for a moment, okay? No one is here to judge you or your beliefs. All I was saying is, my son is perfect, whether you believe it or not. He’s perfect just the way he is. You understand? We are all perfect being us, no one can be us better than we can. You got me? I can’t be you better than you can and you can’t be me. Just like I can’t change you. I think you’re just scared, Ma, I do.”

  “Kennedy, you talking a whole lotta jibber-jabber. And I ain’t scared of nothing. I beg your pardon.”

  Kennedy, nodded hard. “Yes you are, Ma. You’re scared that it’s your fault that your sons are gay, but it’s not. It’s nobody’s fault. You’re scared that one of your church friends is going to look down on you. And I’ll be honest with you, I’m a little scared myself. I’m scared to have my son around you.” Kennedy pointed out.

  Mrs. Montgomery’s jaw dropped. “What’cha mean. You know I wouldn’t do nothing to that baby. Michael, you hear this, now you got this girl’s mind polluted too.”

  “No, I’m afraid he doesn’t. Nobody controls my mind. And the reason that I’m not too sure about having my child around you is because you would hurt him. You would love him with your all one day, and if he came up to you on another day and told you that he was gay, you would shun him and act as if he never lived or mattered. I’m right, aren’t I, Ma?” Kennedy sat up and waited.

  Michael stepped up. “Kennedy, you don’t have to do this. I’ll be okay.”

  “I’m not doing this for you, Michael, believe me I’m not. I’m doing this for my brother and your mother. I’m doing this because my brother must’ve thought that we’d treat him like your mom’s treating you. And I’m trying to let your mom know that life is just life. It may not always be good, it may not always give us what we want, but it is. Take it or leave it, life is . . . life, and it’s too short to waste with judgments and insecurities. Tantrums don’t get us what we want. Are you listening, Ma?”

  Mrs. Montgomery closed her eyes and shook her head. “Uh-huh, but don’t mean I gotta agree.”

  Michael smiled for the first time since he had been in the room.

  “You’re right, you don’t. But remember when that young woman who really loved you told you that life is hard enough as it is without trying to please everyone else by becoming two people. The person you really are and the someone else for everybody else?”

  “Uh-uh, what young woman?” Mrs. Montgomery stopped shaking her head and stared at Kennedy.

  “Me, Ma. I’m telling you this because I love you and you’re just as much at fault as Michael is for hurting me. If you opened up your mind and your heart, he would’ve been able to be himself and he wouldn’t have used me—without my permission or knowledge, I might add—to fool you.”

  Mrs. Montgomery held her Bible in the air. “That’s nice that you’re trying to take up for him, but it won’t work. It says right here in Leviticus 20:13, that being gay is a sin—”

  “Ma, stop it. Did you hear anything I just said? Answer me this, doesn’t the Bible also say that one sin isn’t greater than another?”

  “Yes.” Mrs. Montgomery flipped through her Bible.

  Kennedy crossed her arms. “Well, what did you cook for dinner last Sunday?”

  Mrs. Montgomery paused. “Last Sunday? Let me see . . . pork chops . . . I think. Why?”

  Kennedy laughed. “In Leviticus eleven, verses one through seven, it says eating pork is a sin.”

  * * *

  Simone twiddled her thumbs and Jared sat in silence. Derrick paced so many times that Simone thought that he was going to wear out a path in the carpet. Simone would’ve given anything to be a fly on the wall in Kennedy’s room. She couldn’t wait to find out what happened.

  “Simone, did all that really happen? I believe Derrick but it’s a little muc
h to digest, you know,” Jared said.

  “Yeah, except he left out the part about Kennedy spitting in Michael’s face. Other than that, that was everything. So how do you feel about what Derrick told you?”

  “About him being attracted to men?”

  Simone nodded.

  “Nothing. I already knew—”

  “What do you mean you already knew? He told you? Why didn’t you say anything?”

  Jared shook his head. “No, he didn’t have to. I overheard him on the phone one day. It wasn’t my place to say anything. I felt when he was ready to tell us, he would. Besides I’m comfortable with who I am and who he is. It doesn’t bother me. But what about Kennedy, how is she taking it?”

  Simone sighed. “Honestly, I don’t know. He went to hug her yesterday and she shrugged him off.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything, that’s just Kennedy being Kennedy. When we were together, when she was upset with someone else or something else she’d shrug my hugs away too. I don’t think it was personal. But I’ll tell you what’s personal, that guy hurting her. I know we’re not together but I don’t want anybody hurting her. I hope I don’t have to knock that fool out up in here, because I will,” Jared said and flexed his right arm.

  “Check you out, Jared. You got skills, huh.” Simone bumped him.

  Jared nodded seriously and tightened his jaw muscles.

  * * *

  Derrick went to the water fountain and saw an older woman come out of Kennedy’s room. She had to be Michael’s mother. Derrick stared at her as she came his way and she returned his stare with cold, glaring eyes. Derrick stood with his head held high. He refused to allow her to intimidate him as he had heard she had the power to do.

  Derrick put his hands in his pockets as she got closer and then stopped about two feet in front of him. He held his ground and didn’t say a word. He waited for her to speak because he wasn’t going to explain himself to anybody, especially a woman he didn’t know. And he was damned certain that he wasn’t going to apologize. He was proud of who he was, and now that his family knew and loved and accepted him, he wasn’t going to apologize to a stranger.

  “You must be Derrick, Kennedy’s brother. I can tell by your eyes. You have honest eyes like your sister. Will you be honest with me and answer a question for me?” Mrs. Montgomery wore a faint smile.

  “Sure, what is it?” Derrick asked in a safe businesslike tone.

  “Did my son approach you, or did you approach him?”

  “Are you asking me if I turned your son gay?” Derrick asked bluntly.

  Mrs. Montgomery looked at the floor and then into Derrick’s eyes. “I guess, I don’t understand gayness, so you’ll have to excuse me.”

  “Well, I’ll tell you this much. One, no one can turn someone gay, and two, it’s not something you can catch. But I’m sure you already know it’s not contagious. And no, I didn’t approach your son first and he didn’t approach me first either. It kind of just happened,” Derrick explained and covered his mouth as he let out a laugh.

  “Well, did you love him?”

  “Yes, and as a matter of fact, I still do. It’s unfortunate for me, but it’s true.” Derrick cleared his throat as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

  Mrs. Montgomery surprised Derrick and hugged him. She stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, “You know I may not agree. No, I don’t agree. But you know love is all I ever wanted for my children, all of them. That’s what any mother wants for her children—someone to love them. You take care, and I’ll see you around. You know we got blood between us now. He’s such a sweet baby.” Mrs. Montgomery stepped back and continued, “Well, you are handsome, if I may say so myself. I can see why you turned my child’s head.”

  Derrick stood in disbelief as Mrs. Montgomery sashayed down the hospital corridor in her matching purple skirt, blouse, and hat. He could tell she had really been something to reckon with in her day. She was feisty and quite a character with her beliefs. He turned and saw Simone and Jared staring at him. He held up his hands in the air.

  Michael came out of Kennedy’s room and tried to walk past but Derrick stopped him. “Michael, I need to talk to you. Now.”

  “I don’t think now is such a good time, maybe later.”

  “I don’t believe you’re in the position to be declining or putting me off. You owe me an explanation.”

  “Okay, you’re right. Meet me in the cafeteria in five minutes. I don’t want to talk in front of them,” he said, looking at Simone and Jared.

  ~ 19 ~

  Simone unlocked the front door and eased it halfway open. Leery about walking into the house, she hesitated. A chill ran through her body. She was almost certain that she had only left one light on, but now almost all of them were on.

  Simone stuck her head inside and peeked in. Everything seemed fine and in its place. Dang, something smells good, the neighbors must be cooking up a storm, she thought as she walked in and locked the door behind her. As she was about to put her keys on the table, she stopped. The garlicky smell was coming from inside the house. The farther she walked in, the more she smelled it.

  Simone turned toward the front door and froze.

  Someone was behind her. She was being watched; she felt it in the pit of her empty stomach.

  “Nice of you to come home. Are you hungry?” Nigel asked in a pleasant tone.

  Simone stood still and didn’t say a word. She was afraid to turn around and afraid not to turn around. Nigel had a definite mental problem, and she didn’t want to light his fuse. It wouldn’t be hard to make him blow up. Simone decided to play along with Nigel’s game and chose her words carefully.

  “Hey, Nigel, I didn’t know you were here. I must’ve left my door open again.” Simone turned around and tried to read his face.

  “No, you didn’t leave the door open, you left a window open. I let myself in, I hope you don’t mind. It’s just that I was trying to get in touch with you . . . and I was worried about you. Where were you?”

  “How long have you been waiting?” Simone plastered a fake smile on her face.

  “A few hours. Just long enough to cook and dust.”

  “Oh, I’ve been gone a couple of days. I had my cast removed, then Kennedy had her baby and I stayed at her place getting it all ready for when the baby goes home. You know, as much shopping as that girl does, she hadn’t even furnished the nursery yet,” Simone rambled out of nervousness.

  “That’s great. What did she have?” Nigel asked, wiping his large hands on his stained apron.

  “A boy. My, something smells good, I’m starving.”

  Nigel smiled. “Come on into the kitchen, I’ll fix you a plate.”

  At the kitchen table Simone played with her food. She was waiting for Nigel to take a bite of his first. She didn’t trust him and she didn’t use the plates that he had laid out on the table. She even insisted that she fix the plates since he had been nice enough to cook.

  Simone watched Nigel as he ate and hated that he had turned out bad. The truth was, Nigel had been a good man in the beginning, a man with whom she would’ve loved to have settled down. But the sad part was, that he was no longer that man. She had no idea who he was now, except for someone who put fear in her heart.

  Nigel cleared the table and took Simone by the hand and led her to the living room. He gently grabbed her by the shoulders and sat her down. Nigel squatted down in front of her and swept her hair out of her eyes and kissed her on the cheek.

  “I need to talk to you. I’m sorry about breaking in your house like I did, but I was worried.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you took care of the house for me,” Simone lied again. She prayed someone would call or come over.

  “Simone, you don’t have to lie to me. I know you’re upset about it. It’s okay, I’m not going to do anything to you. I’ve changed. I started seeing a therapist and I’ve even been going to anger-management classes. I didn’t realize that I had so many issue
s and insecurities.” Nigel laughed.

  “That’s good, Nigel. I’m proud of you. It takes a big person to make a move like that. None of us likes to admit to needing help. I could use some therapy myself.”

  “You? Please, you’re the sanest person that I know. You don’t need therapy. If anything, you should be the one counseling somebody.” Nigel smiled.

  The longer Simone and Nigel talked, the more at ease Simone became. He seemed like the same laid-back man he used to be. She was still careful, reminding herself of what he had done. She knew if she didn’t act right, he could harm her again.

  Nigel suggested that they go out for drinks, and for some reason unbeknownst to Simone she agreed. Nigel had been a perfect gentleman and even suggested that for Simone’s comfort, they drive separate cars. He let Simone decide on the place and how long they should stay.

  Simone sat across the booth from Nigel, falling into his trap again. She had to keep reminding herself that he was half-man and half-monster. But the more she drank, the more her memory faded.

  * * *

  Simone woke up with a hangover. Her head was killing her and her mouth was drier than hot cotton. Afraid to sit up, she didn’t even want to think about what she had done the night before.

  Nigel walked in the room and opened the curtains. Simone grabbed the pillow next to her and covered her face. She didn’t know how he could be up and walking around after the previous night. He drank more than she did.

  “Good morning, sleepy head, how’re you feeling?”

  “Terrible, what time is it?”

  “Two in the afternoon. Here, drink this and you’ll feel better.” Nigel handed Simone a tall glass of fizzing water.

  “Alka Seltzer? That’s Kennedy’s remedy.” Simone laughed and downed the drink.

  “Come downstairs and eat. I’ll warm up the leftovers.”