Momma's Baby, Daddy's Maybe

by Jamise L. Dames

  After the cops left, Simone cleaned up the kitchen and sat down in the chair with a cup of coffee. She was just starting to settle herself when the baby cried. Simone picked up the phone and pressed redial. Kaisha answered on the first ring.

  * * *

  Kennedy stared at the floor while Jared opened the envelope. She tightened her hold on Niles and hugged him hard. She gathered her nerve and looked up at Jared. His deep brown eyes were misty and he took a slow loud swallow of nothing.

  “I knew it, Jared. I knew it was going to be you. I prayed and prayed. I see you over there getting all emotional.” Kennedy went to hug him with Niles in her arms.

  “I’m not the father, Kennedy. It says there is no possible way that I can be the biological father.” Jared hung his head.

  “No, Jared, don’t tell me that. Please don’t tell me that.” Kennedy started to cry and rocked Niles, who was also crying.

  Dear God. She didn’t want her child to be passed back and forth as though he were some borrowed item. She didn’t want to have to explain to him that his father didn’t prefer women. She didn’t want him to have Michael’s blood. She didn’t want him to be anyone’s other than Jared’s.

  Jared reached out for Niles. Reluctantly she let Jared hold him.

  “Do you mind if Niles and I have a few minutes alone?” Jared hugged Niles and kissed him on the cheek.

  “Okay. I think it’ll do me some good to be alone for a few anyway. I’ll be in the shower if he needs anything.” Kennedy walked out of the room.

  * * *

  Derrick sat at the kitchen table and sipped his coffee, waiting for Michael to speak. Michael had drank two cups of coffee and hadn’t said a word.

  “So why did you come here again, to talk to me?” Derrick said.

  “Yes. I wanted to tell you that I am truly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you—”

  “Or Kennedy.”

  Michael set down his cup. “Yes, or Kennedy. I want you to know that I didn’t plan on seeing both of you—”

  Derrick tapped his foot on the kitchen floor. “Who did you start seeing first?”

  “It’s kind of hard to say. I became friends with both of you around the same time. Kennedy and I started out the same way you and I did . . . just friends. I didn’t mean to, I really didn’t. Did Kennedy tell you that she and I talked?”

  “Yes, but I already knew. I was at the hospital, remember? Did your mom tell you that she talked to me?”

  Michael’s eyebrows shot up. “No. She wasn’t rude, was she?”

  “Actually, she wasn’t. Michael, I want you to know that I don’t forgive you. Maybe one day, but not today.” Derrick set his cup down.

  “That’s understandable. Do you mind if I get my things that I left here?”

  “No, I would prefer it if you did, but you’re not getting the car back.” Derrick smirked.

  * * *

  Kaisha sat down on Simone’s sofa while Simone went upstairs to get the baby. Simone swallowed hard—she would never see Kiss again. Simone carefully got her dressed and then kissed her on the cheek.

  “I’m going to miss you, Kiss. You’re so beautiful and I hope you have a wonderful life.” Simone hugged and kissed her some more.

  Simone walked slowly down the stairs, trying to compose herself. Even though Kiss was just a baby, she didn’t want to argue in front of her. The nerve of Kaisha, comfortably sitting on her sofa.

  “Here’s your baby. I packed all of her stuff in those diaper bags. The one Nigel brought with her and one that I gave to her.” Simone handed the baby to Kaisha.

  “No, you hold her. I still have something that I need to tell you. When is Dad—Nigel getting back?” Kaisha watched the door.

  “Oh, I’m afraid that you won’t be seeing your man for a long time. He’s locked up under the jail.” Simone smiled her sweetest smile.

  “Oh my God—”

  “Don’t be too upset, God didn’t do it, Nigel did, and he deserved it. And if it was up to me, you’d be with him.”

  “I’m not upset, I’m happy.” Tears started to roll down Kaisha’s beaming face.

  “What?”

  “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, and that’s why I was so scared.”

  Simone sat and listened to Kaisha’s horror story. Nigel had done Kaisha worse than he had done Simone. He had met Kaisha when she was sixteen years old and living in a group home. He took her out, bought her clothes and jewelry, made her call him Daddy, and convinced her to run away and be with him. He promised to take care of her. But all he did was beat her and then turn around and screw her. He wouldn’t let her have any friends or go anywhere. For two years he didn’t allow her out of the house without him.

  “Well, why didn’t you just say something while you were here?” Simone asked.

  Kaisha stared at her feet. “Because he’d beat me. He brought me here so I’d learn to be like you. That’s what he told me. He said I had to pretend to be his daughter and you’d never know the difference because me and him look alike. That’s what everybody says. He also told me if I said anything that he’d pistol whip me again.” Kaisha cried uncontrollably.

  Simone’s jaw dropped. “He pistol whipped you?”

  “Yes. He pistol whipped me when I didn’t feel like going down on him. I was only sixteen, I was scared.”

  “Kaisha, I am so sorry for you. Honey, you should’ve reported him. You should’ve done something, but I guess you didn’t know. So that’s why you were so scared that day on the phone. You were hiding from him, huh?” Simone rubbed Kaisha’s back as she cried.

  “Simone, I need to ask you something. I heard you talking on the monitor to Uniqua—”

  Simone laughed. “That’s how I found out about you and Nigel. He was in the nursery talking to you. What is it you want to ask? Take your time, try to stop crying.”

  Kaisha wiped her eyes and looked at Simone. “I was just wondering if me and my baby could spend the night. I can’t move into my new place until tomorrow and we don’t have anywhere to go tonight.”

  Simone hesitated. She really wanted to be alone. “Sure, Kaisha, that’ll be just fine.”

  Simone made up the guest bedroom for Kaisha. As mad as she was earlier, she didn’t have the heart to send her out into the street. Besides, Kaisha was just as banged up as she was. They had twin scars on the sides of their heads and fresh black eyes.

  Simone patted the baby’s back and put her to sleep. She decided to let Kiss sleep with her while Kaisha slept on the sofa. Deadly thoughts of Nigel clouded her mind. Simone had become a statistic. Never again, she thought as she turned off the light.

  Simone woke up bright and early the next morning. She didn’t know how she had so much energy after Kiss had kept her up most of the night. As soon as the clock struck eight, Simone called in sick. She couldn’t go to work bruised up. She checked on Kiss, who was sound asleep, and went to get a bottle.

  Simone called Kaisha’s name from the stairs and received no answer. “She must have beat me to the punch,” Simone said. I guess I’ll just make coffee instead of formula, she thought, as she walked into the kitchen. Kaisha wasn’t there either. Simone tilted her head in deep thought. Something wasn’t right. She proceeded to check every room in the house. Kaisha wasn’t to be found anywhere. Simone plopped down on the sofa where Kaisha had slept. On the coffee table she saw a note.

  Please take care of Uniqua because I can’t. She deserves a good home and mother, things I can’t give her and you can. I’m sorry, but I’m too young to be a mother, so I want you to have her.

  Kaisha

  * * *

  Kennedy lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She clutched Kharri’s journal tightly. She had forgotten about it. When she had tried to go back to the living room, Jared had kicked her out. He and Niles were still having their talk, as Jared referred to it. She went upstairs to clean out her closet, and tucked in the back was the journal. She sat up and opened the cover.

 
; For my sweet daughter, Kharri,

  By the time you read this you will no longer be a little girl, but you will forever be my baby. I have always loved you—even before you were born. You are my everything and I promise to do my best, give my all, and if need be, sacrifice my life for your happiness. This journal is my gift to you. I start this today, the day of your birth and will continue to write in it until you’re a woman. I will record all the important things in life—good and bad, to help you in your journey through womanhood. These thoughts are only my own . . . take them and do with them your will. I am sure that by the time you receive this, you will have more to add, for you will be a woman yourself. Pay close attention to the words because behind them is my love.

  Love,

  Mommy

  Kennedy ran her finger across the page. Kharri would never receive the journal. A lump formed in her throat. “Why baby, why? Why did you have to leave so soon? I had so many plans for you. And I know you had millions of smiles left,” she said to herself.

  Kennedy put the journal on the dresser and picked up Kharri’s picture. She thought of Simone losing her baby. At least God had blessed her with her Kharri for a little while. At least He had given her that happiness. She smiled at Niles’s picture. What was taking Jared and Niles so long? Didn’t they realize what she was going through? No, they couldn’t.

  Kennedy’s smile faded. She had gambled with sex, and Niles lost. No matter how hard she prayed, Jared wouldn’t be his father. She dreaded the phone call that she had to make, but eventually she’d have to. There was no way around it.

  Jared knocked on the open door. “Can we come in?”

  “Don’t be silly, of course you can. Isn’t that right, Niles?” Kennedy sat up and reached for her son.

  “Not just yet. We have something to tell you.” Jared pulled Niles back, smiled, and sat next to Kennedy.

  “I’m listening.”

  “Well, we decided . . . that I can still be Niles’s father. Maybe not his biological, but still, his father. Niles gave me his permission, he loves me. Can’t you tell, just look at his face.” Jared smiled and held Niles in the air.

  “What, you’re serious, aren’t you? You mean you still want to be in his life even though he’s not yours—”

  “Oh, but he is mine. And he has something he wants to ask you, here, you take him.” Jared handed Niles to Kennedy.

  Niles started to fuss. “What is it, little man, you hungry?”

  “I think he wants his pacifier, it’s tucked in his shirt,” Jared offered.

  “Why is it tucked in his shirt?” Kennedy asked as she pulled Niles’s pacifier ribbon out of his shirt. She screamed.

  On the same ribbon as Niles’s pacifier was an engagement ring. At a loss for words, all she could do was give the biggest smile that she had.

  * * *

  Kennedy put Niles’s empty bottle in the sink and had just begun to run the dishwater when the doorbell rang. She thought about Jared’s proposal. She loved him, but she needed to get herself together first. She hated crushing his heart but she couldn’t give him an answer. Kennedy picked up a drying towel and smiled. She must look like Mrs. Montgomery, walking to the front door with a towel in her hands.

  Kennedy opened the door and Michael nodded. Ever since the incident in the restaurant and the hospital, he had not been his usual charming self. He talked less, smiled even less, and didn’t look like himself. But then again, he wasn’t. He was a man free of his secrets.

  Kennedy stepped back and held open the door. Michael walked in and looked around. She had changed the place completely since throwing him out. She had gotten rid of everything that reminded her of him and his deception.

  “You don’t have to just stand there. You can sit down, you know. The house is still in your name,” Kennedy teased uncomfortably.

  “Oh, okay. I was just admiring your handiwork. The house looks good, but I really couldn’t expect less from you. You did a really good job,” Michael said as he pulled up his pants leg and sat down.

  “Thanks for coming.” Kennedy sat opposite him.

  “No, thank you for asking. I never would’ve thought that you’d want to see me again. Where’s Niles?”

  “I just finished putting him to sleep less than twenty minutes ago.”

  “And Jared?” Michael rubbed his hands together.

  “Oh, he left a couple of hours ago. But I didn’t ask you here so we could talk about Jared. We need to talk about Niles. Niles’s not . . .” Kennedy hesitated.

  “Kennedy, really, we could’ve done this over the phone. I know that I hurt you and I’ve said it I don’t know how many times, but I am truly sorry. I know you hate me, and you have every right. But did you really have to call me over here to break my heart? Must you see the look on my face when you tell me that he isn’t mine?” Michael frowned and clasped his hands together.

  Kennedy cleared her throat before she spoke. “As I was saying, Niles isn’t Jared’s son, he’s yours—”

  “Are you serious?” Michael jumped up and laughed. “I don’t know what to say. It’s like everything is going . . . I’m finally happy. Thank you. Thank you for my beautiful son. Thank you for telling me. I just knew that you were going to tell me that he wasn’t mine. I promise to be the best father to him, better than anyone has ever had. Do you mind if I go in and take a look at him? I just want to watch him breathe. I want to watch my son breathe.”

  “Sure, but we have to finish talking first.” Kennedy began to cry.

  “Kennedy, what’s wrong? I promise that I won’t hurt him. And I promise that I won’t do anything to confuse him when he gets older. I know that you didn’t want to have a baby by a man who’s . . . a man of my sexual preferences. But I won’t do anything wrong.” Michael knelt down and grabbed Kennedy’s hand.

  “No, it’s not that. I don’t care about your sexuality. Apart from you hurting me, I know that you’d never do anything to hurt Niles. It’s just that I didn’t want to go through this. It’s not supposed to be like this.” Kennedy sobbed.

  “Like what, Ken?”

  “Like this, just look around. I didn’t want to raise a child alone again. I know that you’re going to be there. I don’t question that. But we’re not together and we never can be. I was supposed to have children by someone that I’d spend my life with . . . that’s how I always planned it. I didn’t want to go through the back and forth. I get him on certain days and you get him on certain days. It’s bullshit and it’s not fair to him. What kind of life is he supposed to have like that, being split in two?” Kennedy pulled her hand from Michael’s grasp and got up and started to pace, wiping tears from her face.

  “Are you trying to tell me that you want full custody? Please don’t say that—”

  “Michael, don’t. I’m not that kind of woman. Do I look that horrible to you? Do you think that I would just pull my child’s father from under his feet? I would never deny my child his father, never! I just didn’t want to go through the same thing as I went through with Kharri.”

  “Ken, it’s going to be okay, I promise.” Michael went and held Kennedy as Jared walked through the door.

  ~ 21 ~

  Derrick grabbed his black linen pants from the closet and put them on. He turned around in front of the mirror and winked. In his own way, he had always been vain, but only when he knew that he looked good. He straightened the collar on his cream-colored linen shirt and adjusted his gold cross. He was ready to go.

  The sun’s vibrant rays mingled with the blue sky. At seventy-seven degrees the weather was perfect. It wasn’t too hot or too sticky. It was definitely a day for a party. The breeze just barely tickled the green leaves on the trees, while the birds seemed to sing their own rendition of “Happy Birthday” to him.

  Derrick opened the glass doors and paused. Contagious laughter drifted in the air, forcing him to smile. Summer engulfed him, greeting him when he stepped out. Gripping the redwood deck, Derrick rocked his body to the familiar s
ong blasting from his neighbor’s open windows. Evelyn Champagne-King. Bobbing his head to the melodic voice, he began dancing and thanking the heavenly Father for shining his light on him. Derrick finally felt at ease in his life. He’d reached his point of honesty, and Michael no longer permeated his thoughts—not too often.

  After watching the neighborhood kids play kickball, he went back inside. He locked everything up and adjusted the temperature on his A/C. He loved coming home to the icebox-cool air. On his way out he grabbed Kennedy’s gift. A smile spread across his face. He knew she would love it; she always loved his gifts.

  Derrick turned on his car ignition and Maxwell filled the air. He turned the volume up. Nothing like a Maxwell song to help him get out and on his way. Derrick cruised while tapping his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. He looked in the rearview mirror and put on his shades.

  * * *

  Jericha had the kids ready when he got to her house. He was surprised to see her smiling at him. Usually she just frowned and put her hand out for money. But today she was different, she was nice.

  Derrick kissed little Derrick and Angelica and strapped them into the backseat. Lately Jericha had been letting him see them a lot, and nothing could’ve pleased him more. He loved his kids but wasn’t able to be the kind of father he wanted to be. Jericha had seen to that.

  “You’re looking nice, Jericha. How’ve you been?” Derrick gave Jericha a slight peck on the cheek.

  Jericha drew back. “Fine, just great. I guess you heard, ’cause you’re being awfully nice.”

  “No, heard what?”

  “Oh, I’m expecting another baby. And we’re moving out of town—”

  “What do you mean we’re moving out of town? Don’t you think you should’ve discussed it with me first?” Derrick’s temples started to throb.