Greed (Seven Deadlies MC Book 4)

by Kaitlyn Ewald

“Don’t flirt with me, it makes things weird.”

  Rider paused for only a second before he nodded in agreement.

  “True, plus I honestly think Killian would murder me in cold blood if I stole you right out from under his nose.”

  Emily was busy pulling on a pair of leggings and wiping the makeup from her face when Rider said that.

  “You can’t steal somethin’ that ain’t his,” She argued.

  “You have to start painting today, don’t ya?”

  Rider was rising from her bed like a tanned God of sun, all blonde and tattooed and gorgeous.

  “I do, but I don’t know if I’m ready,” She said truthfully.

  Emily glanced at him from her mirror and saw that familiar smile on his face.

  “You know I believe you can do anything, don’t ya?”

  She nodded.

  “Good! Then it’s settled. You’ll go into the kitchen, eat a little somethin’, and then I’ll drive you to your studio space in town and you’ll get to work!”

  Emily planted a hand on her hips as she asked, “What are you supposed to do all day?”

  “Watch you work, duh.”

  His answer was so easy, their relationship was so fucking easy, and Emily wished more than anything that she could just give him her heart instead.

  “I wish I could fall in love with you, ya know that, right?”

  Rider winked at her in the mirror.

  “Barkin’ up the right tree with that one, sweetheart.”

  Emily tossed a pillow at him before she headed for the kitchen.

  She didn’t live in the same apartment her and Scarlett had shared; after what happened with Scott, she didn’t feel comfortable going back to the same place he’d tried to kill Scarlett. It didn’t take long for her to find a studio apartment closer to the mountains, and it certainly had a finer view with a lovely little balcony that overlooked the Smokies. Her kitchen and dining room were one open space and every room was expertly decorated.

  “Hey, would you put a pot of coffee on?”

  “Sure thing!,” Emily called.

  Her phone began to ring the second she got the coffee brewing and she winced when she saw Scarlett’s name scrolling across the screen.

  “Hello?”

  “What the fuck, Em?!”

  “Good morning to you, too.”

  “Good morning, what about last night? You almost killed Kandy and Green? Em, I thought you were doing better! You’ve been spending so much time with Rider-”

  “Don’t you think that if I could love him, I would? Don’t you think I would gladly forget about Killian if I could?”

  There was a short pause before Scarlett spoke up.

  “I’m worried about you. I know painting will help a little, but Em, something has to change.”

  Emily knew that, too.

  She knew that Scarlett was right, but how could she just let go? It was hard enough to wake up every morning knowing full well she was losing her ever-loving-mind.

  “I know. I’m doing the best I can.”

  Scarlett sighed on the other end of the line, and Emily heard Limit calling her name.

  “I gotta go, I’ve got some errands to run with Limit, but I want you to call me later to let me know you’re okay.”

  “I don’t need another mom, Scarlett. I have Rider here with me. Love you, bye!”

  “Love you, too.”

  Rider surprised Emily when he wrapped an arm around her waist and moved her out of his way.

  “You get scolded properly by your best friend?”

  “Yes,” She said with a frown.

  “For what it’s worth, I don’t think Kandy will bother you ever again.”

  Rider’s expression told her he truly believed that, but she shrugged anyways. Did it really matter? She’d proven herself beyond insane last night by holding at gun to the little tramp’s head anyways.

  “I suppose you’re right.”

  Rider’s phone rang before she could say anything else, so Emily took her granola bar with her into her bedroom and started to change for the day. Old t-shirts and raggedy leggings were the best for painting in the studio. Emily wouldn’t even bother with shoes once she got there, so flip-flops were her only choice of footwear.

  “You ready?”

  Emily glanced at Rider over her shoulder, a lock of hair falling into her eyes.

  “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

  Rider held out a hand to her just like he always did and Emily took it; her heart flittered in her chest for the barest of seconds, and for once, she asked herself why.

  Why can’t I let go?

  Why can’t I love someone new?

  Is it wrong to want someone other than Green?

  Logically, she knew the answer was no. She knew it was perfectly normal to move on after what she’d been through, but something inside of her held her back from going for it. Something held her back from living again.

  Rider’s deep voice startled her and she jumped, causing him to stumble.

  “Hey, are you alright? You’re acting all skittish,” He commented.

  With a huff, Emily smiled at him.

  “Sorry, just tired I guess. I promise once we get to the studio you can use my credit card to order some take out and watch something on the TV.”

  Rider winked at her and held out a second helmet in her direction. Emily glanced at her car before she climbed onto the back of his bike and wrapped her arms around his waist.

  “You keep holidn’ onto me like that, I’m bound to get some wily ideas.”

  Emily snorted and tightened her hold on him.

  “Don’t tempt me, baby.”

  Rider kissed the back of one of her hands, surprising her, but she didn’t say anything about it. She was scared to. Scared to like it, scared to love it- scared to love in general. Rider was a safe bet for her. He was kind, caring, smart, and he made her laugh. He would love her differently than Killian. He would be there for her every second of the day, he wouldn’t hurt her the same way that Green had.

  He’d take care of her.

  Maybe I should give it a chance?

  Emily rested her cheek against the back of his cut and closed her eyes as he sped onto the interstate that would lead them back to her studio space. It was a small space her father had rented for her, nothing too extravagant.

  Rider’s bike was familiar, felt good beneath her thighs as he wound around the mountain towards their destination.

  For once, even if it only lasted a few magical moments, Emily remembered what it felt like to be content.

  Chapter 4

  The windows in Emily’s studio were wide and allowed a lot of natural light to filter in. The high ceilings meant she could have canvases of many different heights, and she could tell by the fresh shipment of clean canvases waiting for her, that her father had already seen to that.

  She made a mental note to thank him for it later.

  “So, this is where the magic happens, huh?”

  She nodded, walking over to a secluded corner of the room where a bundle of previously finished paintings was hidden beneath a white sheet. For some reason, Emily wanted to see them. They were brutal and raw, most of them done after her relationship with Ash had ended.

  Ash.

  Even his name brought a tremble to her fingers as she reached for the sheet and pulled it away in one fell swoop. Rider came to stand beside her, his hand resting on her lower back.

  “These are…powerful,” He muttered softly.

  Powerful.

  Touching.

  Raw.

  All of her critics and potential buyers had loved them, but the few she kept were ones she couldn’t bear to part with. A part of her thought of them as therapeutic in a way.

  “I did these a couple of years ago,” She said.

  “Yeah? Must have been a dark time for you,” He said as he ran his fingers along a particularly dark painting. The image of woman crying with wide doe eyes stared back at them
, surrounded by smudges of all different colors that blended together to create one backdrop.

  “It was, baby. The darkest.”

  “Darker than now?”

  That question was a hard one to answer, so she shrugged.

  “It was different.”

  Rider moved to sit in a chair behind her as she pulled out her paintings one by one. For a moment the entire room faded, and even though Emily did her best to stay in the present, everything around her disappeared as she was thrown into the past…

  Summer, 2014

  Shaking.

  Emily was shaking so bad she couldn’t get up off her knees, but Ash would be even angrier if she tried to stand. The easiest thing to do was stay where she was on the kitchen floor.

  “I can’t believe you! I can’t believe you’d embarrass me like this!,” Ash screamed.

  Emily wasn’t sure how she’d embarrassed him, but Ash didn’t make her wait long to find out. She cried out when his thick fingers buried in her hair and yanked her head back, forcing her to meet his gaze.

  “You think it’s okay to flirt with one of my guys? Huh!”

  Emily shook her head, but Ash didn’t let her get a word out. He wrapped his other hand around her throat and squeezed hard enough to make her eyes water.

  The door to the kitchen opened and Emily could see Jonah, Ash’s friend, watching from the doorway.

  “Man, maybe you should ease up-”

  “Don’t fuckin’ tell me how to deal with my woman! Get up, Emily. Now.”

  Emily staggered to her feet, her knees bruised from how hard he’d thrown her to the ground already.

  “Tell Jonah you’re sorry for being such a filthy whore.”

  Emily was crying when she blinked in Jonah’s direction and said, “I’m sorry.”

  Ash shook her hard, before he smacked her in the back of the head.

  “For bein; such a filthy whore! Say it!”

  Jonah was watching her with such sadness in his eyes, but Emily knew she couldn’t expect help from him. Not from anyone. She’d gotten herself in the mess she was trapped in, and no one could save her…

  “I’m sorry for being such a filthy whore,” She whispered tremulously.

  Ash released her roughly.

  “Go make us dinner, bitch. And don’t burn it this time, or else.”

  Emily was so shaken up she could only nod before Ash disappeared from the kitchen, leaving Jonah behind to watch her.

  “Im so sorry, Emily- I swear I didn’t tell him you were flirtin’ with me-”

  Emily shook her head as she tucked her hair back behind her ears.

  “He just gets jealous, Jonah. It’s okay,” She whispered.

  But it wasn’t and Jonah could see that, too-

  “Emily!”

  Emily’s head snapped up as she caught sight of Rider waving a palm in front of her face.

  “Where’d you go?,” He murmured as he tipped her head back.

  Emily shook her head, but he tightened his hold on her.

  “You don’t have to hide from me, sweetheart. What just happened? You’re cryin’,” He said.

  True to his word, he swiped a thumb under her eye and it came back wet. Emily caught his hand and shook her head, but Rider stopped her by cupping her cheeks in his hands.

  “Stop runnin’, just for one second. I’m your friend. I’m here to help you. Open up to me for one fuckin’ second.”

  She thought about lying but instead she shut her eyes and nodded.

  “Okay, you’re right. I’m sorry, I just- I haven’t told anyone what really happened with Ash. Not even Scarlett.”

  Rider’s eyes widened.

  “It’s not good to keep that poison inside of you, Em. Ya gotta come clean.”

  Emily pointed to the chair behind them.

  “Sit, will you? I can’t look you in the eyes when I tell you this.” Rider did as she asked, but he didn’t look entirely happy about it. As soon as he was settled, Emily spoke up.

  “Scarlett and I were separated for a little while. While she was studying for her own degree, I ended up getting tangled up with the wrong kind of guy. I met him at a diner, and we hit it off. He was great at first. Attentive, protective, just a little bit jealous. I liked that, a lot. He introduced me to his friends, his mom, and I was so sheltered, Rider. I was so fucking naïve to think that a man like him could ever be good.”

  Rider looked like he wanted to go to her, to comfort her, but she shook her head no.

  “The first time he hit me I was so scared, I didn’t even cry. I just…let it happen. After that, everything went down hill fast and it wasn’t until he almost killed me on multiple occasions that I came to terms with the fact that he would kill me. It sounds crazy, staying with a man that abused me…but, he truly made me believe that no one else would ever want me. And, every time I looked in the mirror and saw the shell of the woman he’d turned me into, I believed him even more.”

  “Jesus, Em, why didn’t you tell anyone? Why keep it from Scarlett?”

  Emily had her own reasons for doing that, just like she had her own reasons for not telling Rider the whole truth right that second. She couldn’t.

  She wouldn’t.

  Ash was in the past and even though her brain still tricked her into believing that he’d come back for her, that he’d actually kill her, she couldn’t find the courage to open her mouth and tell Rider why she’d held it in for so long.

  “I was a fool,” Emily finally told him.

  Rider tsked, ran his fingers through his shaggy hair. His shoulders were tense and Emily could tell that he was angry, she just didn’t know if it was with her or not.

  “See, this is where things get weird for me. I want to hold you and make it better, but I want you to want me to hold you,” He told her, frustrated.

  Emily could see the irritation lining his entire face and she immediately felt guilty. Guilty for telling him more about her past than she should, guilty for sharing so much of herself with him. For leading him on and putting both of them in a position where either one could get hurt.

  “Maybe you should go, Rider. Maybe that would be best.”

  His gaze snapped up and his hazel eyes met hers. Swirls of blue and brown and the slightest hint of green, they were gorgeous and she wanted to paint them.

  She shouldn’t paint them.

  “Is that what you really want? Because, I think a part of you wants me, too.”

  Emily’s entire body heated in a way she wasn’t comfortable with.

  Even if I do, I can’t!

  “I don’t think we should cross that line,” She whispered.

  Rider slammed the palms of his hands down on his thighs before he glared in her direction. His rumpled red t-shirt was stark against his tattooed skin when he leaned over to look at her again.

  “You know I’ll protect you. You know I’d do anything for you, but Em…you won’t even give me a chance,” Rider said softly.

  Emily glanced at the paintings over her shoulders and felt the pain of them deep down in the marrow of her bones.

  “I’m not good anymore, Rider.”

  Rider swore and she heard the chair behind her, the one he’d been sitting in, sail across the cement floor and slam into the wall. She jumped, jerked away from him as she turned to face him.

  “I would never hurt you!,” He said desperately.

  Emily felt like a rift was forming between them. She felt a chasm building between them, and she needed the comfort he offered her at every turn. Emily knew she didn’t love Rider the way he wanted, she knew in her soul that she wasn’t in love with him, but she knew that if she didn’t give him what he wanted…he would leave her.

  She couldn’t have that.

  Not now, not when she was already so fragile.

  In time, she could grow to love him back the way he wanted. In time, Emily could grow to love Rider because he deserved it, and she knew it.

  Rider started for her at the same moment she open
ed her arms and before she could stop it, they were kissing. It wasn’t the same as with Green but it felt good just the same, and Emily melted against him. His tongue invaded her mouth, tasted her, memorized her like a fine wine. His hands slipped to her waist and slowly slid her shirt up just enough to feel her skin against his palms. Emily whined at the feel of his warmth pressing against her, at the wonder of someone caring for her again.

  “Don’t let go,” She whispered.

  Rider tugged her hair down from its pony tail before he said, “Never.”

  Emily tried not to notice, but she couldn’t hear the faint accent she was used to when he said that. She couldn’t smell the Jameson on his breath that she’d been longing for. Rider didn’t have the thick red hair she was used to losing her hands in, but Emily told herself that in time those things wouldn’t matter.

  In time, nothing else would matter but the two of them, and as the fire between them slowly rose to the surface, Emily gave in to it.

  “I wish I could fall in love with you, ya know that, right?”

  Her words from earlier crashed into the side of her head like a battering ram, and more than anything she wished that was true.

  Emily loved Rider, but she wasn’t quivering with want for him.

  You don’t always need that, Emily.

  He doesn’t have to be Green to make you happy.

  Rider’s fingers slid upwards until he was cupping her breasts beneath her raggedy t-shirt. When his seeking hands found the barbells pierced through her nipples, he tweaked them between his fingers and she hissed from between her teeth.

  “Fuck, I want you. Tell me you want this too, Em,” He begged.

  Emily opened her eyes for the barest of seconds and admitted to herself that at least a small part of herself did want Rider in that way.

  Why else would she let him sleep in her bed?

  “Yes, touch me,” She breathed.

  Rider moved away from her and pulled the sheet she’d discarded earlier towards them before he laid it out on the floor. Emily reached for him at the exact same moment he reached for her and she gasped when he lifted her into his arms and wrapped her legs around his waist.

  “Slip my cut off,” He demanded.

  Emily worked to do as he asked, watching the way his blonde hair fell into his face.