Bryan smiled at her before he nodded.
“Yeah. I’d say I have to agree with you. It was a pleasure meeting you, Killian. I look forward to seeing you around in the future.”
As her father said this, both men rose to their feet and shook hands.
“For what it’s worth? I know my daughter can take care of herself. But, I’d be a terrible father if I didn’t take the lead once in a while. Once that baby comes out, you’ll understand exactly what I’m talking about. Emily, come give me a hug.”
Emily leaned forward to hug her father tightly.
“You did well, sweetheart. May not work in a law office or sell mansions for a living, but I know he’ll take wonderful care of you two.”
Bryan surprised her further when he put a hand on her belly and rubbed gently, a satisfied smile on his mouth.
“I love you,” She said.
He winked at her as he lifted his jacket onto his shoulders.
“Love you too, honey. Call you tomorrow.”
Emily opened her mouth to say something else, anything, but no words came out as she watched her father leave the restaurant.
“Did that go well?,” Green asked.
When Emily turned around he was drinking the Jameson straight form the bottle like a heathen.
“Killian! This is a nice place.”
“Baby, this is whiskey. Tastes the same from the bottle of a glass, and I feel like sippin’ from the bottle.”
Emily realized arguing was pointless, so she answered his question.
“Considering that my father threatened to murder my high school boyfriend for kissing me with tongue, I’d say my father did considerably better this time around. Especially since he knows you cheated on me.”
Green’s eyes fell to the table top before he said, “I hate that it’s become something so casual. It doesn’t feel that way to me.”
Confsued, Emily turned to face him.
“What do you mean? It’s not casual, but it did happen. Do you want me to harp about it forever?”
Green shook his head.
“I just don’t feel like it should be so easy.”
Emily laughed, a full-on tinkling sound that echoed around them.
“Green, come on! Look at everything we’ve been through. Look at how hard you’ve worked to earn back my trust and forgiveness, baby. That’s the funny thing about forgiveness. So many want it, and very few actually want to earn it. You’ve earned it.”
Green looked emotional for a second, his eyes red and watery, his beard twitching.
“You mean it when you said you loved me?”
Emily smiled and lifted his hand to her mouth.
“A thousand times over.”
“Then you’ll be my old lady? You’ll put me out of my fuckin’ misery, because I gotta tell ya, I can’t handle one more night of you in my bed and knowin’ you’re not really mine.”
Emily’s breath left her in a rush when he asked that, but not for a second did she want to turn him down.
Leaning into kiss him, she spoke against his lips, “I’ve always been yours.”
Chapter 20
Emily knew she was dreaming. It was twilight out, and from her apartment lanai she could hear the sounds of nature as the sun began to set on the horizon. She was wearing a pretty yellow sundress and her hair was curled into tight ringlets down her back. It wasn’t a dress she owned, but it was pretty.
The balcony doors behind her were wide open, and off in the distance she could hear Pink Floyd playing. Emily wasn’t a huge fan, but one person she knew, was…
“I always wondered what you’d look like in yellow, Em.”
Emily whipped around at the sound of a familiar voice, her eyes widened when she saw Rider leaning against the door jamb, a smile on his face.
“Miles?,” She whispered.
He nodded real slow, and Emily’s eyes filled with tears, even though she knew she was dreaming. He was wearing his cut, a dark pair of jeans, and a white t-shirt with a pair of angel wings on them.
“How is this happening?,” She whispered.
Rider pushed off from the doorjamb and ambled towards her, his hands outstretched. She met him halfway, tears sparkling against her cheeks.
“I called in a few favors. I wanted to see you, even if it was just for a few minutes.”
“You’re dead. I watched you die,” She choked out.
Rider pushed the hair away from her face as he looked into her eyes.
“I know. And, I would do it all again if it meant that you’d get out alive. Now, look at you! Carryin’ my baby. God, you’ve got the glow, Em. But, that’s not why I’m here.”
Confused, she shook her head, her hands falling to his shoulders.
“It’s not?”
Her voice barely came out as a whisper, and he shook his head again.
“No. I know you’ll be an amazin’ mom. I wish more than anything that I could be with ya for every second, but I’ll be watchin’ over you. I promise.”
Emily swallowed more tears as she grasped his face in her hands, amazed at how real he felt beneath her fingertips.
“I’m so sorry,” She cried.
Rider shushed her and wrapped his hands around hers.
“I’ve been tryin’ to get through to you for months, but I’m shit at this. I don’t have long, so there’s no time for apologies, and they aren’t needed. I wanted you to know that it’s okay for you to move on with your life. I’ve watched you struggle, but you and I both know you never belonged with me.”
His raspy voice was so clear, so distinctive, when he told her that.
Shame threatened to drown her, but Rider stopped her.
“Don’t do that. Emily, you’re only human. I know you’re Green’s woman. You always have been, and I knew that from the beginning. What happened that day, wasn’t your fault! I know how long you sat there with me, cryin’. I know how long you sat beside my grave. I was there with you for every single step, but now, you have to let it go. For good.”
Emily slammed her palms against his chest, her chest heaving.
“I can’t just let you go. I loved you, too.”
Rider smiled and lifted her face.
“I know that, Em. The fact that you kept my baby says that loud and clear. Now, ya gotta pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get your shit together. Finish those damn paintings, get you and Green your own place, and be happy.”
Emily wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tight, but he was feeling more like a shadow than a man anymore.
“I miss you,” She choked.
“Shit, my times almost up. I love you, and thank you for keepin’ my baby. If you miss me, just remember I’ll be around. I’m always lookin’ out for you, Em. I pinky promise.”
His pinky hooked with hers and as she pulled away to say goodbye, he slowly disappeared, a smile on his face.
“Rider?”
He didn’t answer.
Her apartment was now empty and the music had stopped-
“Rider!”
Emily stepped into the empty apartment, screaming his name, wondering if this was even real-
“Rider! Come back!”
Nothing, more silence, just the waning sunlight and the sound of the crickets coming to life below the balcony…
“Rider!,” Emily gasped as she sat straight up in bed.
Her forehead was wet with sweat and her t-shirt was drenched through. She reached up to wipe her face, only to feel the wetness of her tears on her cheeks. Her fingers were shaking, her heart was pounding.
Her dream had seemed so fucking real.
Knowing she wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep, Emily climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Green. The sun was just coming in through the curtains, so Emily hurriedly pulled on her yoga pants and a sweatshirt to ward off the morning chill. Her flip-flops were thankfully right near her purse in front of her bedroom door and she slipped them on before lifting her purse into her arms.
; As she opened and closed her bedroom door behind her, she did her best to wipe away her tears lest anyone else be up and about and ask her why she was upset.
What the hell could she even say?
Yeah, I think Rider visited me in my dreams, no biggie?
No, there was only one thing she could do that would make her feel better, and that was to visit his grave.
Her car was parked right where Green had left it two days ago, so she headed for it and reveled in the sound of the engine started. She hesitated for a moment before she threw it into gear and pulled out onto the abandoned road she knew would lead her right to him, butterflies flapping wildly in her belly.
Emily didn’t exactly believe in ghosts, but her dream was definitely changing her mind.
How else could she explain it?
Not to mention the fact that she hadn’t realized how fucking much she’d needed to see him again, to hear his voice, to know that he understood how much she loved him, especially by keeping his baby safe. Their baby.
Her baby.
Her fingers pounded aganst the steering wheel as she drove along, the windows down slightly so she could get some fresh air.
She hadn’t been able to go back to the cemetery for a long time, but she was finally ready to go. To see that he was in fact still gone, because her dream had her questioning everything. Plus, how was she going to get her child to visit its father if she wasn’t comfortable going? It wasn’t fair to Rider or his baby to keep herself or their child from him.
“Here we go, peanut. Momma’s gonna take you to see your daddy.”
As she pulled into the lot, the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck stood on end; Rider’s words kept replaying in her head.
“What happened that day, wasn’t your fault! I know how long you sat there with me, cryin’. I know how long you sat beside my grave. I was there with you for every single step, but now, you have to let it go. For good.”
Was he?
Could he have been there with her the whole time, watching from the shadows, keeping an eye on her?
It should creep her out, but she was almost comforted by it, and that had the tension in her shoulders easing as she parked her car and got out. The grass was still dewy from the damp night they’d had, but as she ventured four rows over and eight stones down, she saw him name come into view.
Rider’s sister, Laney, hadn’t even fought her on burying him close. She’d been understanding and helpful, and even though it was obvious her heart was broken…she too had found it practical to have him buried near the life he left behind.
The baby he left behind.
“Alright, Rider. I’m here. Got anything to say to me now?”
Emily didn’t expect to hear anything, hello, Rider was dead, but she didn’t expect for the wind to pick up. The trees billowed around, their leaves falling to the ground around her.
“Fine, I’ll take a seat. I want to talk to you, anyways. I have so much to say, and I didn’t have enough time to say it last night.”
As she sat down on the bench, the wind stopped blowing and the sun began to reach through the tree tops towards her. The warmth hit her skin and warmed her right up. She hadn’t even realized she was shaking from the chill until the heat hit her face and she stopped.
“Thank you, Miles.”
She didn’t even care if it made her sound crazy or stupid or what, Emily was determined to believe in miracles. Because, seeing Rider in her dreams the night before had been nothing short of a miracle and if that meant that she’d have the chance to finally sort through and understand his death and what it truly meant, she was going to take it.
Green wasn’t the only one who though forgiveness was too easy.
Emily’s guilt blanketed her every single day, but Rider was right.
It was time to let go, of all the bad.
As she settled back on the bench, something in her belly jolted and Emily cried out.
Something is wrong!
Scared into submission, Emily waited for a moment before she felt it again- that slight pounding from inside her belly. It took her longer than it should for her to realize the baby was kicking!
“Rider, you crazy bastard. Our baby is kicking,” She said happily.
Her hands wrapped around her belly and waited for the gentle kicks to happen again, her eyes filling with tears. It was amazing that she’d been waiting for a while, even though she knew it could take a whole before she felt kicks, that all of a sudden, her little peanut was lively.
A part of her knew it was probably just natural, but a lot of her thought that just maybe, Rider was sitting right there with her like he’d pinky promised.
And, that their baby was reacting to his nearness.
It’s a lovely thought, and there’s nothing wrong with it!
Just then, like a sign from Rider himself, the sun broke through the trees completely surrounded her with bright, white light.
Emily blinked against the glare, and then she smiled.
“I’m glad you agree.”
◆◆◆
When Emily arrived back at the lot, everyone was up and working, and the garage bay was full. Emily could see Scarlett standing on the lot, one hand on her hip while her other one held her phone up to her ear. She couldn’t hear what she was saying, but she looked irritated.
As Emily parked her car and stepped out, Scarlett turned and looked at her. She waved at her, gestured for her to wait, so Emily did.
Scarlett’s phone went into her pocket as she neared Emily, her frown giving away.
“Where have you been? Green’s been lookin’ all over for you.”
Emily pushed her hair out of her face and glanced at the road.
“I went to visit Rider.”
Scarlett’s eyes widened and she smiled at her best friend.
“Do you feel better?”
Emily nodded.
“I’m so glad, Em. It’s been a long time.”
Emily agreed with Scarlett, but she didn’t really have anything to say. She was all talked out after saying everything she’d needed to say to Rider’s grave. He may be gone, but she knew he could hear her.
“Before you go relax and take a load off, dad’s looking for you. I don’t know what he wants, but he asked me to send you in his direction when I saw you.”
Emily hesitated before nodding and gesturing towards the clubhouse.
“I’ll go see him before I look for Green.”
Scarlett leaned down and wrapped her friend up in a hug, which Emily appreciated after the night and morning she’d had.
“Okay, see ya later. I’ve got some work to do thanks to your dad!”
Emily smiled at her, glad her father had kept his word.
“Is that who you were talking to just now?”
Scarlett nodded and rolled her eyes.
“I’ve known your father most of my life but damn if he isn’t annoying sometimes.”
Emily had to laugh because she understood completely what her friend was talking about.
“He means well.”
“Yeah, and he wants the best for his daughter. Can’t say I blame him- we have that in common.”
Emily smiled at that before she turned to head inside, her mind elsewhere.
What could Ox want?
Truth was, they hadn’t spoken much since Rider passed, but it wasn’t on purpose. Life got in the way and he was busy, so was she. Emily didn’t have much time for other things before, but that was slowly changing.
She waved at Esme and Torch as she stepped inside, both of which were eating lunch.
She didn’t bother to stop to say hi, instead opting to wave as she passed on through the great room. She was feeling a little edgy since she’d missed breakfast, but anything was better than the awful morning sickness she’d suffered through for weeks on end.
After a soft knock on Ox’s door, she heard his deep voice call for her to step inside, which she did.
“Hey,” She said.
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He gestured towards a chair as he shuffled some papers he was holding in his hand. After they were neat and stacked, he planted them on the desk in front of her.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, but it hasn’t ever seemed like the right time. I don’t know, I guess I was putting off the paperwork for a while until I felt like you were ready.”
Confused, Emily looked up at Ox questioningly.
“These are the forms I need you fill out so I can have Green put you on payroll.”
The smile that graced her face had Ox smiling in return.
“Really?”
He nodded.
Emily was overwhelmed with happiness as she lifted the forms and eyed them. This was such a happy moment, such an exciting moment, and Emily could feel the blush staining her cheeks.
“This is amazing. I didn’t- I wasn’t sure if the rest of the crew would say yes.”
Ox’s hair fell into his eyes and Emily was caught off guard by the look in his eyes.
“What did I do?”
Ox cleared his throat and shook his head.
“You didn’t do anything, but that smile on your face just now? Shit, I haven’t seen that in a long time. I was worried I’d never see it again. Tell me how you’ve been.”
The tenor of his vice told her that he was far more upset than he was letting on, and Emily rounded the desk to wrap him up in a hug.
Ox’s strong arms wrapped around her in an embrace that could only be described as therapeutic, for both of them.
“Who cares how I’m doing, how are you?”
Ox shook his head and sighed.
“I just miss my friend, my brother. It’s been a rough few months.”
Emily couldn’t argue with that, because fuck yes it had been.
“I know it has. I’m sorry for my part in that.”
Ox shook his head as he released her.
“Don’t apologize. I don’t know how the fuck you’re up and walkin’ around after what both of ya went through, Em. A lesser human would have walked right into the fire after experiencing that shit. I’m just glad you’re feelin’ better.”
Emily nodded her head as she stepped back.
“I’m going to the studio to finish working. I’ll be done by the end of the week and then my official show will be at the end of the month. Will you come?”
Greed (Seven Deadlies MC Book 4) Page 15
