Time Before the Wolf

by RR Turock

Chapter 10: Ends

  I played with my thumbs, sitting with my back against the wall and knees up to my chin. I was back in my room. I hated it, but I was having a hard time find anything wrong with Mother's argument. Perhaps if I were smarter I could debate her properly. Frustrated, I growled to myself. All I knew was that she was wrong.

  The idea of confronting her terrified me more than confronting Deion. After all, I hated Deion and loved Mother. My shoulders sagged. She was also right that I was just one childish girl. Biting my lip, I noted, one childish girl with the power to decide the fate of Karrazard and all those in it.

  Was she right? Should I have the power to choose for the people? Were they unable to make such decisions for themselves? Did they not know what was good or bad for them?

  No. I had to believe otherwise. A leader could lead the people astray, but people knew good from evil. They knew their capabilities. Like wolves, they know how to howl, to hunt, to run, to fight. They know when they find a leader they are willing to follow. Diomedes was not that leader. He lacked strong decision-making skills. Asaph was strong and perhaps a visionary, but those were traits of a tyrant as well.

  To be a true, just leader, they must be thoughtful, outspoken, visionary, loved by the people, and most importantly, good for the future. Tyrants, as Father and I saw on our journeys in the north, were devastating for the future. Generations would pay for all eternity.

  Mother's thinking was poison to the future. The ends never justified the means. It couldn’t be justified because in essence the ends were everything that occurred in the means. Placing a powerful but deadly man like Asaph on the throne to destroy Deion was wrong.

  Wait, I had to consider all things. I also wanted to destroy Deion. I must be certain my actions to devastate him will not affect my choice of the leader. My actions must not hurt anyone but Deion. Mother's "by any means necessary" policy will not be mine. I will only serve pure justice. Evil and good will not coexist.

  Malec knocked twice before entering. Raising a brow at my posture, Malec addressed me. "Were did ya go? Wes all worried Deion gotcha..."

  I shook my head, keeping my eyes steadily on the corner where the floor met the wall. Something about it helped me think. I answered, shaking my head. "I met Mother today. You and Father were right; she is alive. Malec, was Mother ever scary? Honestly."

  Malec scratched his stumbled chin, sitting down next to me. "She used be a fire breather. A mighty good one, too. She was never afraid of catchin’ fire. She would do all sorts of tricks with her fire. But she was also stubborn, even if she knew she was wrong. Ya pa was a black an' white kinda guy."

  I crossed my arms. "That doesn't answer my question."

  He finally gave in, sighing. "Yes, she could be a little intimidatin'. Ya never want ta make 'er an enemy."

  I rested my chin on my knees. "I think I just did."

  Silence fell between us. Still looking at the boards, I spoke up. "When wolves meet a danger they have two choices. The choices all creatures have to make. If the wolf has a winning chance, fight it is. But if the opponent is too fearsome, flight it is. "

  Malec changed his posture to combing through his unkempt hair. "But, say, if the wolf were the alpha or the she-wolf who looks afta the cubs, then she has no choice but ta stay an’ fight."

  I nodded. "I have something I'm fighting for I can't just turn tail and run anymore. The running stops now."

  He gave me a look of concern, getting up. "I'll just get ya some water."

  As I shut door behind him, I turned around, pensive again. A soft sound at the window caught my attention. My eyes widened in surprise. Silhouetted by waxing moonlight, Asaph stood in my window.

  I gasped, lifting my eyes to meet his. He sat comfortably on my small balcony ledge, looking curiously at me. One finger rose to his lips, signaling to keep quiet. Laughter danced in those glowing gold eyes, unmatched by the sum of nuisance he might cause me.

  I regained my composure, whispering. "What are you doing here?"

  He pressed his lips together in thought before answering, glancing over the room. "I did some thinking."

  Certain that Malec was still downstairs, I shut the door more fully. Growling back at Asaph, I remarked. "Are you telling me you rarely do that? Thinking?"

  Asaph shrugged, hoping off the ledge and taking a spot on the cot. "No, I simply put some extra effort into doing so now. Look, I figured you think I'm just a power-hungry fellow—"

  I raised a brow. "You're not?"

  A grin spread over his face at me. "—not just power-hungry. I have other interests as well."

  Inside—and I mean deep inside—a very, very small part of me felt happy talking with Asaph. I didn't permit that to show, grumbling, "Interests like what?"

  He leaned back, getting comfortable, suddenly changing the subject. "The Feast of Harmony is coming up in two days following tomorrow.”

  I pressed my back against the wall. “And what does that have to do with anything?”

  Unconcerned, he continued. “The Feast is a celebration about the making of the Piper. It describes how he brought mere children to start this city. I always took it symbolically. It is saying that it is the next generation that rules the world. The song was given to the child the Piper deemed worthy. He never specified what made him worthy. You were saying something earlier about wolves. Is a wolf a good leader?”

  Scratching the back of my neck, I took a long moment to ponder the question. “A wolf’s world is the simplified version of the human world. The leader of the pack leads the hunts, but he won’t always be the one to find the prey. He does make the hardest of all the decisions, to kill the prey. For him, his family, the pack is the most important thing to him. He would give his life to protect them. He is the alpha, the lover, watcher, protector of the pack. So, yes, I think the society of the wolf is a good basis to choose the leader.”

  Asaph breathed almost silently, filling up the soundless moment. He closed his eyes. “I was never an alpha. I was a loner, out in the cold. Diomedes would be a better choice.”

  I smiled to myself. He couldn’t look at me in his shame. Still, respect welled up in my chest. “No. He couldn’t kill his enemies in the protection of his family. To make himself stronger, he would fatally hurt his family. In essence, he is an imbalance that we have to avoid at all costs. Mother believed that it was necessary we do what it takes to get power if our results are good.”

  He consented. “She always drilled me about that. What did your father believe? Did he never tell you who he chose?”

  Shrugging, I sunk to the floor. “I was too irresponsible for it. I haven’t changed much. All the lessons he taught me before he was murdered was that the heir should be—what was it?—“a familial creature, whose love is intense and protective”.”

  My company seemed almost asleep, until he spoke up. “Look, Flower, how are you going to find out who should be king in two days?”

  I bit my lip. “I don’t know how, but all I have to do is think really hard.”

  Asaph scoffed. “Done that. What next?”

  I pressed my lips together. “We wait and plan. Once I announce the heir, Deion will have nothing to lose. Likely, he and the Hoof and Wing families will be furious. Whatever Father had planned would likely uproot everything set in motion.”

  Finally, he sat up, looking at me, eyes narrowed. “That sounds…dangerous.”

  Stretching, I consented. “That’s why Father originally wanted me to stay hidden. He was always worried about things like that.”

  Asaph remained. “How are you going to fight Deion, Diomedes, and every guard coming your way? Surely you don’t plan to be saved by your circus crew?”

  I shrugged, shaking my head. “I didn’t think that far. For all I know, Mother wants to kill me just as much for ruining her eleven-year plans. Speaking of which, why don’t you ever fight me? Regardless of how—what was the word?—“refreshing” I am, there must be some reason you stay around afte
r I ruined your plans and all.”

  He tapped his chin thoughtfully. Coming up with the answer, he smiled. “I like to think you added an exciting twist to my plans. Let’s just say, you’re Mother has the same conclusion all famous northern philosophers came to: “I will make the perfect leader and he will listen to all my good instructions and not abuse his power for his own desires”.

  “Regardless of what they say on the outside, this is what all self-proclaimed philosophers think when putting someone like me in power. It takes someone with perspective and voice to deny that “educated” claim. You were that someone, so you have both my respect and my interests.”

  Words wouldn’t formulate, so I just stared, wide-eyed at the compliment.

  Continuing, Asaph walked over, offering me his hand. “I’d be happier if you let me join you that dangerous night on your spectacular journey over the needles.”

  I couldn’t stop my expression from spreading into a grin. Talking his hand, I consented. “Granted, the end won't be so pretty. Whatever I'm supposed to do will alter everything."

  Part 3: Hunt