Renewed (The Fractured Series Book 3)

by James, Holleigh

  “How are you holding up?” I asked.

  He looked at me. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, I know how hard this must be for you. You handled yesterday with such grace, and today you were fantastic. I know it hurts, Rob.”

  His eyes moved to his hands. “It’s going to take time.”

  “Do you want to come to counseling with me? I’m sure Gina can help you, too.”

  “I’ll be fine, Mandy.”

  “Rob, I don’t want you to push this too deep inside. You have every right to feel this way. You haven’t grieved.”

  Turning in his seat, he faced me. “I’ve had a whole year to grieve. I’m sad, especially when nice things happen and I know they aren’t around to share in it, like today. I’m going to have good days and bad days. The days I’m with you are the best. And I’m getting better. I promise.”

  “Rob, I want you to do whatever you have to. Don’t be afraid to be who you are. They were your parents. You loved them. You’re allowed to miss them, and show it.”

  He smiled at me. “You’re wonderful, you know that?”

  “That’s because I love you.”

  I picked up my shoes from the floor, got off the couch, walked to the steps, and began to walk up.

  “Where are you going?” he asked getting off the couch to follow me.

  Mid-way up the staircase, I turned. One eyebrow arched on my forehead. “I have to get out of this dress.” I offered with half a smile.

  “Would you like help?” He caught on quickly.

  “Absolutely.” I continued up the stairs.

  I didn’t stop until I was in the middle of the white shag carpet in the master bedroom. Lifting my hair from my neck, I waited until he unzipped the dress as I held it in place. I turned to face him as he flung the jacket of the tuxedo onto the chair at the back of the room. He loosened the bow tie and unbuttoned his shirt. My heart fluttered with excitement.

  “Did I tell you that you looked amazing in that dress?”

  “About a hundred times.” I smiled.

  “Well, you did.”

  “Know what I like about this dress the best?”

  He shook his head.

  “I had to buy special underwear for it.” I let go of the dress and stood before him in a white lace teddy and stockings. A low moan escaped his lips as his eyes drank me in. He forgot about his shirt and grabbed my waist.

  Then he showed me how special my underwear was to him, too.

  The music began. I walked down the aisle. Looking to the left and the right, the seats were empty except for a couple in the front row. I marched forward and saw it was Rob’s parents. A dark figure stood at the end of the aisle. It was Rob in his tuxedo. I ran to his outstretched arms. I nestled inside them.

  “I love you,” he said.

  “I love you, too.”

  That was it.

  It was the best dream I’d ever had.

  When I woke up, he was still sleeping. His face was relaxed and smiling. He was peaceful. Lying next to him, I wondered what he was dreaming about. I imagined what it would be like to live here with him. My head filled with thoughts of baking cakes in his kitchen, hosting barbecues in the yard, and decorating for each holiday.

  As carefully as I could, I tried to get out of the bed so I wouldn’t disturb him. With one foot on the floor, I was stopped when he grabbed my arm.

  “Where are you going?” His eyes were still closed.

  “I didn’t want to wake you.”

  “I wasn’t asleep.” He opened his eyes slowly. It was like watching someone open a present. His blue eyes were like crystals. I melted when he looked at me. “Don’t go,” he begged. And I granted his request.

  Cradled in his arms, we quietly enjoyed being with each other. With my head on his chest, I listened to the rhythm of his heart. It was soothing.

  “What were you thinking before?” he asked.

  “Just about us.”

  “What about us?”

  “I was just imagining what our children would look like.” I lifted my head to see his reaction.

  His smile grew wide. “If they’ll look like their mother, they’ll be gorgeous.” He kissed the top of my head.

  How’d I get so lucky?

  Chapter Ten

  Bryan and Jennifer were still on their honeymoon during the Easter break from school. The Bowmans invited my family to celebrate with them. As usual, Mrs. Bowman made several wonderful dishes for dinner. Mom baked a few cakes and cookies, including her world class Linzer tarts. It had been a long time since we had them. I tried to bake them during the time she was alcohol-dependent, but they never came out the way Mom made them. I was glad she was sober now, so I could watch and learn the secret.

  The Bowmans made sure we were all comfortable. They even had an egg hunt in their yard for Dillon. Of course, all of the prizes were planes. Dillon was very happy.

  “My cousin Chelsea is coming to spend the summer with us,” Eric said during dinner.

  “Oh, how nice,” Mom said. “Is she your age, Eric?”

  “No, she’s in college.”

  “This was her first year,” Mrs. Bowman clarified. “John’s sister is going to Europe for the summer and she asked if Chelsea could come stay with us so she wouldn’t be alone. We thought it would be a nice vacation for her as well. It’s been a while since she was in New York. I’m excited to have someone new to take to the museums and Broadway shows in the city. I think Eric and Rob can quote the little information cards under every painting at MoMA.” She laughed, but Eric and Rob rolled their eyes.

  “Well, I think that’s very nice of you and John to open your home like that,” Mom said.

  After dinner, Rob asked if I wanted to take a walk. I jumped at the chance to be alone with him. With our fingers laced, we walked down the block from where his aunt and uncle lived.

  “I got an answer from Stony Brook,” I said.

  “You did?” He stopped and gave me his undivided attention.

  “Uh-huh.” I nodded.

  “Well, don’t leave me in suspense. What’d they say?”

  I couldn’t hold back my smirk. “Looks like you’re going to have to tutor me.”

  “I knew you’d get in!” A smile filled his face. Embraced in a bear hug, he lifted me off the ground. “Oh, Mandy, that’s wonderful!”

  “I didn’t only get in, I got an academic scholarship.”

  The bear hug got loose enough for him to look into my eyes. They were bright with excitement. “You’re so incredible.” Soft pink lips confirmed his approval of my news.

  ***

  Once Bryan and Jennifer came back from their honeymoon, Mom gave them a standing invitation to have dinner with the family every Friday. She didn’t want to insist on Sundays because she knew they were newlyweds and wanted to be alone together. She also knew Mrs. Sutton would want to claim them, too.

  They both looked well rested, but Jennifer definitely had a little belly the next time I saw her.

  “Twelve weeks and four days,” she said, hanging out in my room as if everything was the same as before, except this time she was my sister-in-law.

  She told me all about Cancun, and the fun she and Bryan had on their trip. I was glad they were both happy.

  “Mandy, can I ask you something?”

  “Sure, Jennifer.”

  “What happened with your sister? Bryan doesn’t talk about it, and well, I’m getting scared. What if something goes wrong with the baby?”

  “That’s not going to happen, Jennifer. You’re a strong, healthy, beautiful girl. Your baby is strong and healthy, too. And I bet when he or she gets here, it’ll be the most beautiful baby in the world.”

  Jennifer smiled. “Still, could you please tell me what you know? It’ll make me feel better.”

  There really wasn’t anything to tell. “Well, I don’t know much. Mom carried us all to thirty-one weeks, which is a long time when you have a multiple birth larger than twins. She went int
o labor quickly, and Dad barely got her to the hospital after her water broke. In fact, it broke in the shop; Mom was visiting Dad because she was bored in the house. She was rushed to the hospital, and up to labor and delivery, and pushed us all out without a C-section or any drugs. There was no time.”

  Jennifer winced. I put my hand on her leg. “Don’t worry. You’ll have drugs. I’ll make sure you aren’t in any pain.”

  She smiled. “You take such good care of everyone, Mandy.”

  “I was born first, and I’m told I was very quiet. Bryan, on the other hand, came out kicking and screaming… literally. I guess he didn’t want to leave Mom’s safe place. Cassandra came out last, but she wasn’t breathing. The doctors had to intubate her and put her on a neonatal respirator. She did fine for a week, but then her lungs gave out and she stopped trying. The autopsy said she only had one fully developed lung. It was working way too hard for one week.”

  Tears streamed down Jennifer’s face. I put my arms around her. “But that’s not going to happen to your baby,” I reassured.

  “I know,” she sobbed. “I’m just overly sensitive about everything. I can’t even watch a candy bar commercial without crying.”

  “Those are your hormones messing you up.” I tried to change the subject. “Do you and Bryan have any names picked out yet?”

  She shook her head. “We haven’t talked about it much. I think he wants to wait until we’re a little further along.”

  “You’ll do great. I know you will,” I said, and I was very confident I was right.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Don’t be nervous,” Rob said. “You can do this.”

  “What if I fail?”

  “You won’t fail.”

  “I haven’t been doing this that long.”

  “So you’ll practice after you pass the test.”

  “Why are you so confident about this?”

  His deep blue eyes locked with mine. “Because you’re perfect and you know how to drive. I bet the test instructor will want you to drive him all over the place once he sees how great you are.”

  A thin man wearing black polyester slacks and a light yellow, button-down shirt with no tie walked over to me. Only one button was undone and I could see his crisp, white undershirt. With his index finger, he pushed his black-rimmed glasses up on his nose. “Miss Stewart, I’m Barry Glassman. You’ll be taking your driver’s test with me.” Great, a nerd who can probably drive the space shuttle better than I can drive a car. I shook his hand.

  Rob held the driver’s side door open for me to get in. Then he gave me a quick kiss and wished me luck. “I’ll be right here.”

  I made sure I buckled my seatbelt and adjusted all of the mirrors. After I checked the gauges and set the temperature to a comfortable climate, I waited.

  “You may begin, Miss Stewart.” I didn’t move. “What are you waiting for?” Mr. Glassman asked.

  “I’m waiting for you to buckle your seatbelt.”

  “Oh, right.” He blushed at his error as he shoved the belt into the clip.

  Thirty minutes later, I pulled up at the same curb I left from. I put the car into park and turned the engine off. Knots formed in my stomach as I watched Mr. Glassman tick off boxes and write notes on his clipboard. If he didn’t say something in another second, I was ready to grab him by his pocket protector and shake him until he gave me the results. Luckily, I didn’t have to do that.

  He reached over the seat with his right hand. “Congratulations, Miss Stewart, you are now a licensed driver.”

  Excitement exploded from me. I unbuckled my seatbelt, reached over and hugged him. “Thank you, Mr. Glassman.”

  I don’t think he was expecting me to touch him. His long index finger pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. A feather of red colored his face as he fought not to smile. He handed me the paperwork I would need to have an official driver’s license made at the DMV. I jumped out of the car and ran to Rob wrapping both my arms and legs around him.

  “I guess you passed.”

  Mr. Glassman got out of the car and straightened his clothes. He reached out to shake Rob’s hand. “Your girlfriend is a very good driver. She scored perfectly.”

  A smile took up most of my face. Rob’s was just as wide.

  “That’s because she’s perfect, Mr. Glassman.” He hugged me. Then he shook Mr. Glassman’s hand. “Thank you, sir.” He looked at me, and then back at Mr. Glassman. “Can she drive home now?”

  “She can drive wherever she likes.”

  Rob handed me his keys.

  I drove to the diner so we could celebrate. We shared a piece of apple pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. Then we went to his house.

  “Can you come inside? I just have to get what I’ll need for work. That way I can stay with you until I have to leave.”

  I practically floated into his kitchen. I was still high from passing my road test and receiving Mr. Glassman’s congratulations.

  Rob stopped at the breakfast nook. “I’m so proud of you,” he said, giving me a round of quick kisses.

  “I’m so proud of me, too.”

  “Say, do you have a dollar?”

  “I think so.” I grabbed my purse and looked in my wallet. “Here.” I handed him a crisp, clean, new one-dollar bill.

  “Thanks.” He traded it for a slip of paper.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s the title to the blue Infinity.” That was the car he bought for me at Christmas. It was in his name, but he let me practice driving it.

  “I can’t take this.”

  “But it’s your car.”

  “No, it’s your car that I borrowed to learn how to drive in.”

  The lines of his face straightened. He became very serious. “Mandy, I bought it for you. And now, you just bought it from me. Please take it. I want you to have it.”

  I didn’t want to get him angry. “Fine, but I want to pay for it.”

  “You just did.”

  “No. I have to pay you more than a dollar for it. I want to pay the sticker price.”

  “How about if I find another way for you to repay me?” He pulled me close.

  I didn’t want him to distract me. “I’m serious, Rob. I want to pay you.”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll figure out a payment plan, and you can pay me over time.”

  “Okay,” I said. It wasn’t perfect, but I could live with those terms.

  “Now, drive me to your house so we can tell your parents.”

  ***

  “What?” I thought my father would blow a gasket. The vein in his temple was throbbing. “When did you…? How did you…?”

  “Relax, Dad. I took Driver’s Ed classes at school and earned all of the hours I needed. And Rob took me out on the weekends to practice. I just passed my road test two hours ago. Mr. Glassman said I scored perfectly.” Rob nodded to back up my story.

  “Oh, Mandy, I’m so proud of you,” Mom said. She raced across the room and hugged me.

  “Now, I’ll have a way back-and-forth to school in the fall. I won’t have to depend on anyone else.”

  “Yeah, except we’ll have to get another car, Mandy.” Dad’s arms were across his chest. I could tell he thought he won.

  “Well, Rob bought me a car for Christmas. He just gave me the title.” I held up the paper with the correct signatures in the right place. “I’m going to the DMV tomorrow after school to take care of all of the paperwork. And once school’s out, I’m getting a job to pay for the insurance, and to pay Rob back.”

  Dad let out a huff of air. He was defeated. First, it was Bryan giving up Notre Dame and a football scholarship, then me getting a driver’s license. He could never be happy with anything. Well, too bad. I was finally happy.

  ***

  Dad was very quiet around me over the next few days. He wasn’t happy with my new found independence. It was fine with me because I didn’t approve of his actions either. I walked past him through the living room, into the
kitchen. There was a letter for me on the table. The address was the same as before: Suffolk County Jail. I opened it out of curiosity.

  Dear Mandy,

  You haven’t written back. That makes me sad. After all of the years we spent together, I thought you’d at least do that. I’ve been making so much progress in therapy. I realize what I did was wrong. I should have told you how I felt and not tried to force myself on you. I need you to forgive me. Please think about it.

  Love, Jimmy.

  I threw this letter away, too. Would he never leave me alone?

  ***

  Riding along on a long and winding road, I climbed up the mountain in a fire engine-red, convertible Porsche Carrera. My strawberry curls danced around like flames in the wind. An ice bucket with a bottle of champagne sat on the passenger seat.

  When I made it to my destination, a quiet log cabin at the top of the mountain, I parked the Porsche and looked out at the scenery below. The trees greeted me with their fragrant evergreen smell, and the wildflowers bobbed in the spring breeze as I walked to the cabin. Pushing the door open with my hand, a fire flickered in the fireplace. A brown bearskin rug lay in front of it. Two champagne flutes waiting to be filled were off to the side.

  I set the bucket with the bottle next to the glasses and looked around for Rob. With only two rooms to the cabin, I expected to find him in the bedroom, waiting for me under the scratchy woolen cover on the king-sized bed. With light steps, I approached the door and gave it a gentle push. The bed was empty.

  Thinking Rob to be in a playful mood, I searched the cabin for any sign of him. Muddy footprints led to the door. I opened it. Instead of the beautiful spring scene I had just walked in from, inches of snow covered the ground. Boot prints led away from the cabin. Fearing Rob was in trouble, I followed the trail.

  Further and further away from the cabin they continued. Without a coat, the cold air cut through my body. I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from freezing. The sun disappeared and it was dusk. Panic filled me as I called Rob’s name and got no answer.