Renewed (The Fractured Series Book 3)

by James, Holleigh

  No one spoke for a very long minute after Joyce and her family left.

  I had to focus to slow my breathing. My heart was banging against my ribcage.

  “Well,” Dad spoke. “Let’s order dessert, okay?” He tried to return our thoughts to the reason for the gathering, but I was not in the mood to celebrate any more. I remembered the letters I had received from Jimmy. Although he was locked up now, what would happen when he was released? What if he got out for good behavior? Didn’t he tell me he was making progress in therapy? Maybe it was all a ruse. I ate my cake, but I don’t remember tasting it.

  I’m sure Chelsea enjoyed the show.

  Chapter Sixteen

  That weekend, Mom, Jennifer, Rob’s Aunt Rachel, and I went to look at wedding dresses. Chelsea tagged along because she didn’t have any other plans. I would have preferred if she didn’t come. I wasn’t as fortunate as Jennifer was, who wore her mother’s gown. My mother got married in a black suit. Maybe it was a sign.

  Jennifer started out with a lot of enthusiasm, but then had to sit down because she was tiring quickly.

  “That’s because you’re pregnant,” Mom explained.

  I tried on dress after dress, but couldn’t wrap my head around any of it. I was afraid Jimmy would get out of jail. Chelsea didn’t help with the snide comments she made under her breath, loud enough for only me to hear. “Makes you look fat; so unflattering; that’s good if you want everyone to know your family are carnies.”

  When I was just about to accept I’d be getting married in a burlap sack and call it a day, Mom clasped her hands together, and a huge smile filled her face.

  “I think this is the one,” Mom said, looking at Jennifer, who was nodding enthusiastically. It was a beautiful Jasmine gown, with a sweetheart neckline. Beaded embroidery covered the bodice down to the inverted basque waistline. A line of buttons hugged the back from the top of the dress, down to the bow at the top of the trumpet chapel train. I stared in the mirror at a very beautiful girl. Was that me?

  Rob’s Aunt Rachel hugged me. Jennifer started crying. It triggered Mom as well. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face, too. Chelsea sat with her arms crossed over her chest. Everything else dissolved. I was in my wedding dress.

  The woman helping us told me they could have the dress in by the first of August, and she didn’t think I needed many alterations.

  “You have the perfect figure,” she said. I was glad Chelsea was there to hear it.

  I didn’t want to take it off, but I had to help Mom and Aunt Rachel look for their gowns. Jennifer was already trying on the ones she liked, and could fit into.

  “Remember, you’ll be another two months pregnant by mid-August,” Rachel reminded Jennifer. “I’d go with an empire cut.”

  Jennifer pouted, but adjusted her search for dresses with a high waist seam. We agreed on a simple lilac satin gown, with beading encrusted along the seam. Jennifer couldn’t make anything look bad, even if she was pregnant.

  At lunch, we talked about our choices as Jennifer finished off what everyone left over on their plates.

  ***

  “So, how’d it go?” Rob asked as I cooked in his kitchen.

  “I found it. I found the dress.”

  His eyes lit up. “Tell me about it.” He closed his eyes so he could imagine it as I described it.

  “No, I can’t. You aren’t supposed to know.”

  “I’m not allowed to see you in it before the wedding. I can know about it.” His sparkling blue eyes melted me.

  I shared some minor details about the dress. “Now we have to pick the where.”

  “I had a thought,” Rob said. “Do you think Mr. and Mrs. Handly would be okay with us having the ceremony at the creek?”

  My heart fluttered. “Oh Rob, that would be a perfect place. Do you think we could fit everyone in that small space?”

  “We could try.” His arms circled around me. I would never tire of the way I felt in his embrace. His eyes reached deep into my soul. I was going to be with him forever. I couldn’t have been happier.

  ***

  There was another letter for me when I got home. The same handwriting was scrawled across the front. I wasn’t going to open it. I was going to throw it directly into the trash, except I noticed the return address. It wasn’t from the jail; it was from Jimmy’s mother’s house.

  My heart started to hammer and sweat formed on my hairline. Mom had come into the kitchen and was putting up a pot of coffee. I couldn’t let her know Jimmy was contacting me. Was he out of jail and living back at his mother’s house? Wouldn’t someone have told me? I ran up to my room, and before the door was completely closed, I tore open the seal. I yanked the letter out as if there was a snake in the envelope. It was longer than the previous ones I had read.

  Dear Mandy,

  My mother told me about Bryan. I’m happy for him. Jennifer is a great girl. I’m sure they’ll be very happy together. Mom also told me of your news. I know this is what you want, so I’m happy for you, too. I just wish you would have given me a chance. I could have spent my whole life making you happy. I was just late in telling you. I shouldn’t have waited. I should have told you how I felt about you when I first realized I loved you. That was when we were ten. I’m learning so many things about myself in therapy – mostly about how my behavior has probably affected you. I’m sorry. I never meant to cause you pain. Maybe one day, you’ll come to visit me and tell me you forgive me.

  This time, it was signed: Jimmy.

  I chose not to throw this one away. I put it in my drawer and collected my sketchpad.

  ***

  It was the first time I had been to the creek without Rob since before I first showed him my special ‘alone place’. It felt strange to be there by myself now. So much had changed in the past year. Propping myself up on the rock I always sat on, I thought about those changes: I met Rob, fell in love, lost my virginity, learned how to drive, became a sister-in-law, and soon to be an aunt, got engaged… and almost got raped, twice. Up until then, my life had been boring. What a year. Is that what ordering potato salad can do to a person’s life? I laughed to myself.

  My concentration was broken by the sound of a twig cracking in the distance. My ears perked up and my heart pounded in my chest. What if it was Jimmy? Where could I run? My back straightened. Sweat started to form at my hairline.

  Rob emerged from the trees. He was my knight in shining armor, always.

  “Hey, what are you doing here all alone?” he asked.

  I waited for him to sit next to me on the rock.

  “I was just thinking about how wonderful our wedding will be when I marry the most incredible man in the world, in the most beautiful place in the universe.”

  He looked around in marvel at the trees and the stream of water, the way he did the first time I brought him there. “It is the most beautiful place on earth, isn’t it?”

  My finger stroked his jaw line. It was perfect, just like him. His eyelids flashed up and his deep blue eyes made my body react. I willed him to move closer, and he read my mind. His mouth opened slightly. The perfect lips invited me in. I moved my mouth to meet his. Before we connected, he whispered, “I love you,” and he sealed that thought with a perfect kiss.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “What if we hired caterers and had the reception in your yard?” I asked, licking the spatula with the leftover cookie dough.

  “Whatever you want,” Rob said. He sat at the breakfast nook and watched me put the cookie tray into his oven.

  “Well, I just didn’t know if you wanted all of those people at your house.”

  “It will be your house too, you know. I want whatever you want.”

  “We could have tents set up in the yard. There’s so much room back there. They can put them near the woods.”

  Rob got up from the stool and walked around the counter that separated us. Removing the spatula from my hand, he placed it in the bowl and pulled me close to him.
“Whatever you want,” he said, then kissed me, and kissed me again. Then kissed me again. He continued the entire twenty-two minutes the cookies were in the oven. Then the timer went off to announce the cookies were ready.

  ***

  Mom asked Bryan’s new mother-in-law, a.k.a. my father’s slut, Mrs. Sutton, for the name and number of the company that catered his wedding. She immersed herself in all of the details after finding out what Rob and I wanted. Because it was a wedding, Mrs. Handly said, “The guests should travel around the house, rather than through the worn down path, don’t you think dear?” looking at Mr. Handly, who was already nodding his approval.

  Dad “worked” more and more hours. Yeah, right. I didn’t care. I knew he would get caught eventually. Then he was on his own.

  My dress was ready six days before the wedding. I brought it home and hung it on the front of my closet door. I looked at it every chance I had. Rob wasn’t allowed to come up to my room, but helped me bring my stuff over to his house after it was packed. Bryan helped, too. I didn’t have as much as I thought.

  Every time I brought a box down, Mom would run to the bathroom for a tissue.

  Rob moved his own things from the closet and drawers in his old room, into the master bedroom. He only used a third of the closet, leaving me more than half the space for my things. I didn’t even need much for what I had. I sat on the side of the bed, where I’d be sleeping as Mrs. Cooper.

  Rob watched me as I let the thought seep into my brain. From my pocket, I pulled out the seashell he had given me when we were at the beach. I rested it on the top of the side table.

  “What’s that?” he asked.

  “It’s the seashell you gave me. I like it to be one of the first things I see in the morning. It reminds me of how wonderful you are.”

  He bent over and kissed me. Then he backed away and looked in the closet. Let’s go get the rest of your things.”

  “That’s it. That’s everything.”

  “It is? But the closet is practically empty. I’ll have to make sure you fill it up.” I could see the joy on his face thinking of all of the gifts he wanted to lavish me with.

  I was more economical and realistic about purchases than he was. “We’ll see.”

  “What if I insist that all of your purchases come from a store with pink striped bags?”

  “Well, those I won’t argue with you about.”

  The music cued my entry. I walked down the dirt path to the creek. My Grecian style gown flowed around my bare feet as I stepped on twigs and stones. I ran up to the moss covered rocks and looked around. I was alone. Where was everyone? Didn’t they want to see me get married? Where was Rob? Didn’t he want to spend forever with me?

  “It’s just me,” his cold voice said. He leaned against a tall oak tree. His blond stringy hair hung in his evil green eyes. Pushing his body off the tree, he strutted toward me, confident and sinister.

  Disbelief washed over me.

  “Everyone knows you belong with me, Mandy. Even Rob.” He cackled.

  Before I could run away, he grabbed my hands and pulled me to him. I struggled to break from his hold, but he was too strong. He threw me on the ground and tore at my dress.

  “No!”

  Mom ran into the room. “What’s the matter?” She was half-asleep.

  I looked around my room. It was empty of my things, which were almost all at Rob’s with the exception of the first drawing I had done of him – it was still pinned to my bulletin board – and my wedding dress. “Sorry. I had a bad dream.”

  Mom walked over and kissed the top of my head. “Want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  “Okay. Try to go back to sleep.”

  I nodded and she left. I stared at my ceiling the rest of the night, afraid to close my eyes.

  ***

  Two nights before my wedding, Bryan and Eric informed me they were taking Rob out for his bachelor party. I warned Bryan I’d make sure his baby would be his only offspring if he let Rob do anything he shouldn’t. I threw the pillows from the couch at him until Bryan promised not to do anything that would make me angry.

  “So, what will you do while I’m out with your brother and Eric?” Rob asked.

  I shrugged. “I guess I’ll give myself a manicure or something.”

  “Nonsense,” Jennifer said from my kitchen. “The girls and I will be taking you out. We have to show all of those guys what is being taken off the market.” She winked at Rob.

  As the boys left from my house, I reminded my brother: “Bryan, don’t forget.”

  Bryan threw his hands up in the air as he got into the driver’s side of his Mustang. Rob rode shotgun, and Eric sat in the back. There was an empty seat behind Bryan, and I thought of Jimmy.

  With the boys out of the house, Jennifer pulled me into the kitchen. Mom sat at the table, and Jennifer stood next to several boxes wrapped in pink striped paper.

  “I got you a few gifts for your bridal shower.”

  “But I already had a bridal shower. You gave us three of our china place settings.”

  “I know, but this is your real gift.” She could hardly contain the excitement on her face.

  I opened each box to find several very sheer, practically non-existent pieces of lingerie. “Jennifer!”

  “Mandy, I’m just trying to keep the honeymoon going once you come back.”

  “I don’t think I’ll have a problem in that department,” I said, trying not to look at Mom. I held up one or two pieces. I noticed the price tags had been removed.

  “Okay, let’s go,” Jennifer said. “We’re picking up the girls in ten minutes.”

  “Where are we going?”

  “You’ll find out soon enough.”

  Courtney and Tanya were waiting at Liz’s house. We all squeezed into Jennifer’s car as the girls promised me a “good time.” Forty minutes later, we were at a club with an all-male revue.

  “I can’t go in there.”

  “Lighten up, Mandy. You’ll have a good time,” Courtney said.

  “I brought plenty of one-dollar bills,” Tanya added.

  “Don’t you think the boys are doing the same thing?” Liz asked.

  “I hope not,” I said.

  I insisted on a corner table, out of view from the dance floor. The waiter came and took our orders. Because none of us were of legal drinking age, and Jennifer was pregnant, we all ordered virgin drinks. Several minutes went by, and I started to ease up about where I was, that is, until the lights went out and the first round of dancers showed up.

  In the darkness, music sounded from the speakers over the dance floor. With the first sung word, a light flashed on a single dancer. By the chorus, a line of very handsome men were gyrating to the beat, slowly removing articles of clothing.

  Howls and screams came from the other women in the club. Some were waving money in the air. The men broke up their formation. They weaved in and out of the tables, collecting the paper money in their tiny G-strings. Once they were down to practically nothing, the music stopped, and so did they. They bowed and walked off the stage.

  Tanya and Liz were fanning themselves with their money. “Did you see the package on that one?” Tanya asked.

  “I liked the short, blond one,” Liz commented.

  Another song started. An imitation police officer took the stage. He danced around the same way his comrades had. When he took off his hat, I froze. His blond stringy hair fell into his bright green eyes. I had to look twice to make sure it wasn’t Jimmy.

  Hoots and hollers from the crowd encouraged him to remove his clothing little-by-little. A small gold badge hung from a tiny, navy G-string. He bumped and grinded toward our table. It made me uncomfortable how he looked so much like Jimmy and was so close to being naked. He came up to me and put his foot on my chair, between my legs. I tried to stand so I could get away, but he wouldn’t let me up out of the chair. He gyrated his hips near me.

  Sweat ran down the side of my face and my b
ack. The muscles in my chest tightened. My lungs fought for air. A tear rolled down my cheek. Jennifer pulled his arm and pointed to one of the other girls. He changed his focus, and began to grind with someone new.

  When he moved, I ran to the ladies room. Jennifer followed me. I locked myself in a stall and sat on the seat. Tears streamed down my face as I heaved for breath.

  “Mandy, are you alright?” Jennifer asked from the other side of the stall door.

  “He looked… like Jimmy. He was… close and…”

  “I know. I’m sorry. We’ll leave if you want to.”

  I waited until my breathing evened out before I opened the stall door. Jennifer stood in front of me. I leaned my head on her shoulder and was comforted by her hug with baby Stewart between us.

  “Let’s get the other girls. We’ll go for ice cream.”

  We stopped at a small diner not far from the strip club and were seated at one of the tables in the dining room. The waitress was quick to bring our ice cream sundaes shortly after we ordered them. I started to feel better as the girls talked about other things so I wouldn’t freak out again.

  “I’ll be right back. I have to use the bathroom,” Jennifer said. “This kid makes me pee all the time.”

  Courtney sat across the table from me. “So, Eric and I… you know, we did it.”

  “You did?” Liz asked.

  “Yeah, I was right; he’s great in bed.”

  “I don’t think we ever asked,” Liz said.

  The other girls giggled. After Courtney shared her details, I knew I’d never look at Eric in the same way again. Jennifer came back to the table. Her eyes were wide, and heavy with tears that hadn’t fallen yet.

  “Jennifer,” I stood. The mood at the table got serious. “What’s the matter?”

  “My mother…” She looked at me.

  “Your mother, what?” I asked.

  She pointed to me. “Your dad…”