Unraveling

by Micalea Smeltzer

  “All done,” Jared whispered.

  I opened my eyes and found him at my eye-level.

  “Why don’t you like to be touched?” he whispered.

  “In order for me to answer that question, I’d have to tell you my whole story, and I’m not ready for that. Not yet.”

  “Katy, I just want you to know that, I would never touch you with any intention of hurting you… or taking your choices away from you,” his eyes bore into me.

  “I know that, I do…” I looked at the floor and took a deep breath. “It’s just really hard to let go of the past.”

  “Sometimes, you do though, have to let go, I mean. It’s the only way to heal yourself.”

  “You’re very wise for a twenty-four year old,” I commented.

  Jared snorted and began wrapping the white bandage around his own hands. “Most days, I feel like a middle aged man. My life has matured me beyond my years. But honestly, if someone told me they could redo my past, and give me a happy childhood, I’d say, no deal. Because, if I wished away the past, then I wouldn’t be standing here, with you. Everything in life, the good and the bad, happens for a reason. You shouldn’t question it, you should accept it, and take it as a life lesson, because maybe, just maybe, that bad experience is leading you down the road to the greatest adventure of your life.”

  And then I went and said the most intelligent thing ever. “What’s this stuff for?” I pointed to the white bandage wrapped around both of my hands.

  Jared laughed. “Oh, Katy,” he shook his head. “You are a Master subject changer.”

  I blushed. “I really want to know.”

  “They protect your hand and wrist when you’re punching. These,” he grabbed at one of the punching bags, “aren’t exactly soft. Basically, it keeps you from injuring yourself.”

  “Oh,” I drew out the word.

  “Now,” he said, “before I let you beat the crap out of my punching bag, I need to show you the proper way to hold your fist to throw a punch.”

  “Okay,” I said, even though I already knew. Todd had taught us in the self-defense classes. I just kept my lips sealed, because it meant more time looking at Jared. After all, just because I had a no touching rule, it didn’t mean I had a no looking rule.

  “You want to make sure your thumb is on the outside of your fist, not the inside. If you throw a punch with your thumb inside your first, it will break. You’re going to want to curl your thumb around the outside of your fingers like this,” he demonstrated. “Keep your fists tight, but not so tight that you cut off circulation,” he looked at me to make sure I was paying attention. “Some people like to punch with their fingers lined up evenly, while others have their index and middle finger out farther,” he showed me the two different styles. “The choice is up to you. One isn’t going to make you punch better than the other; it’s just a personal preference.”

  “Like this?” I held up my fist.

  He grinned. “That’s exactly right… Ugh! Of course, Todd would have shown you the proper way to hold your fist.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, he did.”

  “I don’t know where my brain was at,” he shook his head. “Anyway, give it a go,” he stepped back, leaving me alone beside the punching bag. “Wait- Todd showed you the way to stand too, right?”

  “Yes, Jared,” I giggled.

  “Sorry,” he said, and I swear he was blushing. “I just don’t want you to get hurt on my watch. Sometimes, the way you stand is just as important as how you punch.”

  “I think I’ve got this,” I assured him.

  “Have at it, kittycat,” he said, moving behind the punching bag and holding it in place.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” I looked at him.

  He laughed. “That’s not likely, Katy. I get beat up, daily. If you do manage to hurt me, it will just be another bruise. It’s not a big deal.”

  “It’s a big deal to me,” I said, taking my ponytail out and then putting my hair up in a topknot so that it would stay out of my face better.

  Jared watched my movement and murmured under his breath, “You’re so beautiful.”

  “What?” I snapped my head in his direction.

  “You’re beautiful,” he spoke louder.

  “I look like a mess,” I pointed to my leggings and loose t-shirt.

  “Katy,” he peered at me around the punching bag, “some people need makeup and fancy hairdo’s to look beautiful. You don’t. Everything about you is beautiful, inside and out.”

  I blushed. “Um… thank you, Jared.”

  “Don’t thank me when I’m only telling the truth. Now come on, kitten, let some of that anger out.”

  I smiled and punched the bag, and Jared was right, it felt good, really good.

  I punched and punched. I pretended that bag was Preston and that with every punch I was erasing what he did to me.

  Tears streamed down my face, but Jared didn’t say anything. I think he knew that I needed this.

  Exhausted, I finally collapsed on the gym floor and buried my face in my hands so that Jared wouldn’t have to see me cry anymore.

  I could feel Jared standing near me, and then sitting down beside me.

  He just sat there, not saying anything, and not trying to touch me.

  He would never understand how that simple act, affected me.

  Jared saw and understood more about me than I’d care to admit, without me opening up to him. He had X-ray vision when it came to me. For whatever reason, I didn’t care. I wanted him to see me. Not the old me. Not the new me. But the me that I was becoming. I wanted to open up to him. I wanted him to know all my secrets.

  Really, I just wanted Jared.

  14

  I continued to cry and Jared sat, patiently beside me. When the tears finally began to subside, he got up and went to a cabinet in the gym, fumbling around.

  He sat down beside me and handed me a paper towel.

  “Sorry, I know it’s not as good as a tissue, but it’s all I’ve got,” he glanced at me sympathetically. I hated that he was seeing me like this, but he didn’t seem as freaked out as most guys would be.

  “Thank you,” I sniffled and wiped my face. “I’m not normally this emotional, I swear. I don’t know the last time I’ve cried this much.”

  “Everyone needs a good cry now and then. Even us guys,” he winked.

  I laughed and balled the paper towel up in my hand.

  “Better?” he asked, and there was genuine concern in his voice. He wasn’t asking, because it was the right thing to do, he was asking because he genuinely wanted to know.

  “Yeah, thanks,” I stood and tossed the paper towel in the trashcan. “Well,” I put my hands on my hips. “I think I’ve kept you from your training long enough.”

  He chuckled. “You can keep me from my training, anytime.”

  I grabbed my purse, “I better be getting home. I have a ton of homework to do. Every time, I think I’m going to get caught up, I get assigned another paper.”

  “I would ask you out tonight, what with it being Friday, but my sister has a ballet recital.”

  “Wait… I thought your sister was sixteen?” I questioned, sliding my purse up to rest on my shoulder. It was a huge purse; like the kind you could fit a sink in, and cobalt blue. It was my favorite though, and despite its years of abuse, it was holding up well.

  “She is,” Jared said, moving across the room to the weights. I followed him and watched as he picked one up. The muscles in his arms and shoulders rippled.

  “But she still does ballet? Isn’t that something for younger kids?”

  He shrugged. “She loves it, always has. It’s been an escape for her, just like fighting has been for me. She’s really good. A couple schools in New York already have their eye on her.”

  “Really?” I raised a brow in shock. “That’s incredible. I’d love to see her perform.”

  “You would?” he dropped the weight he had been using on the ground and grabbed a heavie
r one.

  “Oh gosh! I wasn’t trying to invite myself!” I blushed.

  Jared laughed. “I know. I didn’t ask, because I figured you wouldn’t be interested. But…” he met my eyes, “if you want to go, I’d love for you to come. Plus, you’ll get to meet my sister.”

  “Do you want me to meet your sister?” I nervously swayed back and forth.

  “Of course,” he answered without hesitation.

  “Um… yeah, I’ll go.”

  A smile stole across his face. “Great. I’ll pick you up at seven.”

  “I can meet you there,” I looked at the ground.

  He sighed. “Katy, I’m not going to break into your house and kill you, if that’s what you’re afraid of. This is just me, being a nice guy, wanting to pick up his girl.”

  “Your girl?” I raised a brow.

  He stood, so that he towered over me, making me feel like a small fairy in his presence. “You are most definitely my girl, even if you don’t know it yet.”

  I swallowed and squeaked, “Oh.”

  “Seven,” he pointed at me. “Text me your address.”

  “O-o-kay,” I knew there was no point in arguing with Jared.

  I turned around and was almost out the door when he said, “Katy?”

  “Yeah,” I turned around.

  “They said this is a semi-formal event, whatever that means,” he shrugged. “So you’ll need to wear a dress.”

  “Okay,” I said. “I’ll –uh- see you at seven.”

  He grinned and went back to his workout.

  When I got in my car, I looked at the clock. I had approximately three hours to shower, do my hair, and find a dress.

  I was so screwed.

  I pulled my phone out and called Piper, “I need your help.”

  ~***~

  “Tomorrow,” Piper warned, traipsing into my condo, “we are going shopping. No questions asked. Did you shower?” she asked, closing the door.

  “Showered and dried my hair.”

  “Good,” she said. “Then it shouldn’t take me long to have you looking decent. You know,” she dropped her bag and a dress down on the couch, “this is starting to become a habit.”

  “What can I say? I haven’t had a need to buy dress clothes.”

  Piper shook her head. “You are going to the mall tomorrow, even if I have to shackle myself to you.”

  “Hey, I wasn’t arguing. In fact, I was going to ask you if we could go. I need your opinion when it comes to fashion. Everything I own is tees, leggings, jeans, and more tees.”

  “Alright, stop chit-chatting,” Piper said. “I need to curl your hair. And look,” she grabbed something out of her bag, “I even brought a curling wand. That thing you call a curling iron is prehistoric.”

  I laughed. “Just make me look pretty.”

  Piper rolled her eyes and dragged me into the bathroom by the sleeve of my t-shirt.

  In no time, she had my hair curled with half of it pulled back, and a few shorter pieces framing my face.

  She left me to do my make-up.

  It hadn’t escaped my attention that she’d grabbed my shirt earlier and hadn’t touched my bare skin. I figured Rollo had clued her in.

  I dusted some purple eye shadow onto my lids and decided to just ask her.

  “Did –uh- Rollo, say anything to you, about me?” I asked, hesitantly.

  “He just told me you don’t like to be touched. He didn’t tell me why, if that’s what you’re wondering. Use the magenta lip stain,” she pointed to the different makeup items I had cluttered around the countertop. I put down the peach one I was going to use and grabbed the magenta instead.

  “And you don’t think I’m weird?” I probed.

  She laughed. “No, everyone has their quirks, Katy. You don’t like to be touched, big deal.”

  Relief flooded through my system and I smiled at Piper. She smiled back.

  “You better get a move on, Jared’s going to be here soon,” she warned.

  “Oh crap!” I dropped the lip stain onto the counter. I ran to the living room and grabbed the dress, before dashing back into my room and changing.

  I opened my bedroom door and Piper was standing there. She looked me up down several times, before saying, “You look gorgeous, Katy.”

  “Thanks,” I said, grabbing my black blazer off the back of my desk chair. It was supposed to be colder tonight and I didn’t want to end up freezing in the short dress.

  I smoothed the bottom of it down; a bit uncomfortable with the short length, but it was a gorgeous dress. It was white, with a flower design, and the bottom of it flared out.

  “How long do we have before Jared gets here?” Piper asked.

  I looked at my watch, it was Michael Kors and a gift from my mother, despite my hatred of most things she purchased for me, I actually liked the watch. It was a gift for my high school graduation. I was still shocked she’d actually remembered my graduation. It wasn’t unusual for her to forget my birthday.

  “He should be here in twenty minutes,” I said, I had text Jared my address while I was getting dressed.

  “Good! That’s plenty of time to paint your nails,” she scurried out to my living room and began rummaging through her purse.

  “I hate to tell you, I don’t have any nail polish,” I informed her.

  “I figured as much,” she rolled her eyes. “Which is why I brought my own.” She held up a bottle of lavender nail polish. “Sit,” she pointed at the couch, while she perched on the end of the coffee table.

  I did as she told me and grabbed a stack of magazines to rest my hands on.

  Piper was careful not to touch me while she applied the polish.

  I blew on my nails in the hopes of speeding up the drying process.

  “I just want to thank you, again, for coming over,” I looked up at Piper.

  “It’s not a problem, Katy. I was just doing homework. You and Rollo are pretty much the only people I know here, so my Friday’s are pretty boring. At least I have shopping to forward to, tomorrow,” she grinned. “I’m in need of some new shoes.”

  “Shoes!” I exclaimed. “Oh crap!”

  Piper laughed. “Did you really think I’d forget shoes?” she pulled a pair of black pumps from her purse.

  “Jeez, what are you going to pull out of there next?” I asked with widened eyes.

  “Nothing interesting, I assure you,” she handed me the shoes.

  I’d barely put them on, when someone knocked on the door.

  Piper grinned. “Sounds like Mr. Sex-on-a-stick is here.”

  I shushed her. “He’ll hear you!”

  “I don’t care,” she giggled. “It’s true and I’m sure he knows it.”

  “That doesn’t mean you need to tell him,” I hissed, just as Jared knocked on the door again.

  I almost tripped on my way to the door. It had been a while since I’d worn heels.

  I swung the door open and was in no way prepared for the Jared that stood before me.

  He wore a white button down shirt, with the sleeves rolled up, and the top three buttons undone, showing off a bit of his tanned chest. The shirt was then tucked into a pair of gray slacks that hung on him, like they were tailor made. The belt he wore was black, and held, no pun intended, the look together.

  “Damn,” Piper whispered under her breath from somewhere behind me.

  Jared chuckled and I finally looked at his face. He was freshly shaved; just a hint of stubble still visible, and his hair was slightly damp but brushed back from his face.

  “Are you ready?” he asked me. “I don’t want to be late. If I am, Karlie will kill me.”

  “Uh-yeah, I’m ready,” I stuttered, grabbing my purse.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Piper said, brushing by Jared and me, and heading down the hallway.

  “Bye,” I called to her retreating back.

  She threw her hand up in a wave.

  I locked the door behind us.

  “Looks like a
nice place,” Jared said, as we made our way down the hallway to the elevator.

  “It is, just a bit small, but it has enough space for just me. Rollo ends up staying over a lot, and then it’s kind of a tight squeeze. Plus, he eats all my food,” I laughed.

  “Don’t you know, that’s what best friends do,” Jared laughed as he pushed the button for the lobby level of the building. “I swear, when Holden comes over he eats everything.”

  “I like the company though, so I try not to complain too much,” I clutched the handles of my purse tighter.

  “You’re really lonely, aren’t you?” He looked down at me.

  “I- well, it’s my own fault,” I stammered.

  He chuckled. “I guess it is, you don’t like to let anyone in.”

  Except for Jared. He was slowly breaking down every wall I had built around myself. Soon, I’d be bare to him, and I was afraid when he found out the root of my problems, he’d run the other way.

  Jared led me to his car, his hand hovering over the small of my back, but not touching. I liked the fact that he seemed to want to touch me, but knew I wasn’t ready. He was respectful of my needs, and that helped me to trust him.

  I hoisted myself into his massive vehicle, and this time I didn’t struggle as much. Jared chuckled from behind me; I blushed, figuring I’d probably given him a shot of my pale pink underwear.

  “Where is the ballet recital?” I asked, when Jared got on the highway.

  “Not far out of Greenville,” he said. “It’s only about a twenty minute drive, if that.” He fidgeted in his seat and then said, “So, do you feel better?”

  “Huh?” I asked, confused.

  “After you punched the crap out of my punching bag, do you feel better?” He glanced at me.

  “Oh, um, yeah,” I tucked my hair behind my ear and gave him a small smile. “A lot better.”

  “Good,” he grinned, and it was the crooked one that I was growing more accustomed to. “Would you be up to doing it again?”

  “Definitely,” I replied, playing with my purse strap. I was getting really nervous about meeting Jared’s sister. I could tell she meant a lot to him, and I was afraid she wouldn’t like me.

  “Monday?” he asked.

  “It’s a date,” I smiled, and then that smile faded when I realized my words. “No! I didn’t mean like a date-date. I don’t-”