Wicked Me

by Lindsey R. Loucks

  His mouth at half tilt, he said, “I did.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you created a permanent home in my sexual fantasies for seven fucking years, but I never thought I’d actually have you. I needed to make sure this was real.”

  “You’ve thought about me?”

  “Constantly. Since the day you left D.C.” He brushed his fingertips down my jaw, a loving caress that swelled a knot into my throat. “No one even comes close to you.”

  “Sam...” I brushed a thumb over his bottom lip as if to hold those words close for an eternity. The thought of leaving him pinched my heart, but after the last day of my internship, it would be time to head home and try to start a life. A new one with...Her, if she would have me. And maybe Sam, too.

  He wouldn’t want to come with me. Would he? Even if he did, I had to stop hiding behind my past and tell him the truth. It might make him change his mind about me, but the way he made me feel solidified the fact that he was worth the risk. Completely and totally.

  I was about to open my mouth to tell him so, when a weird mix of Metallica and Adele blared somewhere behind me.

  “I’m not answering it,” Sam said.

  I slumped against him, waiting for the singer on his phone to stop ch-yeah, ch-yeah-ing. “I’m not answering mine, either.”

  Sam tipped my chin so I would look at him. “Do you like Metallica? Old school Metallica, not the new shit.”

  I popped my mouth open for a snarky reply but thought better of it. Instead, I slithered up his naked body to whisper in his ear, “I prefer silence so I can hear you smack my ass.”

  A devilish smirk curled his lips, and he rolled out from under me to fly at his phone. He crouched over it, lightning flashing through the front door window all over his beautiful body, and fumbled at the buttons. Then quiet buzzed across the distance between us, pulling me to my feet, drawing me closer until the silence became a roar of desire.

  He stood slowly from his crouch with his chin tucked to his chest, and he somehow reminded me of a wild animal. Raw and powerful. His mouth parted while his gaze lingered on my chest, my center, my legs and back up again, my flesh, my soul bared just for him. In that moment, I knew I could trust him with all my truths, and it unburdened my entire body.

  I smiled at him, big and goofy, and I didn’t even care. “I want to be yours, Sam.”

  Something glinted in his eyes, not lightning but a spark from within. Then he charged, his mouth seeking mine, and pushed me into the living room with one of his thighs between mine.

  The force of my renewed need multiplied with the friction his leg created. He matched my fervor, chasing my tongue, while he shifted us around the leather couch and straight into a floor lamp. It toppled to the floor, but I barely noticed.

  He crashed onto the couch with me on top so I straddled him. His hands trailed up my rib cage to cup my breasts, and I arched into them while he pinched my nipples between his knuckles. Between us, his erection pointed straight up. Breaking our kiss, he rolled a fresh condom on and looked at me as if waiting for me to slide down onto it and ride him into oblivion.

  I touched my forehead to his and positioned myself over him. His penetrating gaze never wavered as I slowly took him into me. A soft moan escaped at how good he felt, and I moved with him, deeper, faster, harder.

  Neither of us closed our eyes; we watched each other as if we were afraid we might miss something. Face-to-face like this, it felt less like pure fucking and more like we were clutching to each other’s hearts.

  My nipples dragged against his chest every time I grinded against him, rolling them into buds he caught in his mouth and suckled. He worked a hand between us and played his fingertips where we were joined until my whole body throbbed. All these sensations, the glide of his tongue across my nipples, his hungry gaze, the feel of him inside me rushed me to the brink of ecstasy once again.

  I threw back my head with a moan, his name on my lips, then collapsed against his mouth so he could come with me.

  “Oh, fuck... Paige.” He rolled his hips into mine with slow thrusts, milking his release, then sagged against the back of the couch with a laugh. “Oh my fucking god.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I happily sank into them to inhale the musky leather from his neck.

  His pounding heart knocked into my chest, the same tempo as mine, both of them in time to the raging thunderstorm outside. And in time to the blossoming warmth in my chest that grew into a different kind of ecstasy.

  Slow and steady, I was falling in love with Sam Cleary. I could only hope he felt the same way when he knew the truth about me.

  23

  Sam

  REAL LIFE PUT MY SEXUAL fantasies to shame. Kissing Paige, fucking her, hearing her moan my name—it was enough to drive me mad. And I couldn’t get enough. Lucky for me, neither could she.

  Once against the wall while the lightning outside flashed shadows across her golden honey skin. Once on the couch. But hey, who’s counting?

  It was so damn incredible with her. I didn’t think I could pinpoint exactly why, but the sex on the couch was especially mind-blowing. Maybe because she rode my cock like a bad librarian. Maybe because she was the most special thing I’d ever held. Maybe because I could see her, all of her, like she’d bared her fucking soul to me. I wanted that again. Over and over again.

  The next morning in her bedroom, when she looked up at me with a sleepy glaze over her eyes and wrapped her arms around my back, my whole body, not just my dick, instantly responded, and I was ready to go. Not just inside her but anywhere she asked me to. A total goner, like I’d been since I first met her.

  “Sam?”

  “Mmm,” I said into her neck.

  She ran her fingers through my hair in a steady rhythm that might have put me to sleep if it had been anyone other than a naked goddess doing it. “What are the chances of us getting anything done today?”

  I licked my finger and held it in the air like a fake weather forecaster. “One hundred percent.”

  She laughed, a freeing sound that made me hold her even tighter.

  “What’s so important that you would want to do anything else but me?” I asked and grinded my hips into her to help prove my very literal point.

  “Well, for starters, we don’t have any food. I checked.”

  I shoved myself up enough to kiss her lower lip. “Grab your clothes. We can be at the store in five minutes.” I faked like I was going to climb off her and race down the stairs, but she pulled me back to her with an evil gleam in her eyes.

  “I wasn’t finished,” she said.

  “Thank God, because I wasn’t, either.” I cupped her throat to tilt her head and grant me access to every part of her mouth. My other hand wandered down to see how her tits were doing, and sweet Jesus, they were doing really well. Full, perky, and molded to perfection to fit into my palms.

  A moan vibrated Paige’s neck, and her hips rolled into mine. Her hands slid down to squeeze my ass, a likely sign she’d forgotten whatever else she needed to do today, and locked her ankles around my thighs.

  I was rock hard and ready to lose myself inside her again and again, but I wanted to take my time with her. Explore her. See what she liked and didn’t. Watch her throw back her head and see those full lips part with a gasp when I made her come. That was the most beautiful sight I’d ever fucking seen, and I intended to make that happen a lot today and every day after.

  Leaning away from her kiss, I ran my tongue over my upper lip and grinned at the resulting blush in her cheeks. “On your stomach.”

  “What?”

  I gave her a cocky grin while I sat up to straddle her, all the while stroking myself until my balls tightened painfully. “Now.”

  Her gaze followed the movement of my fist. Her breaths grew louder, more ragged. When she met my eyes again, her wicked smile nearly undid me. She squirmed and rolled to her stomach so the tip of my dick rested between her gorgeous ass cheeks. Kneeling behind her, I lifted her hip
s from the bed, gentle and slow, and glided my fingers up her spine, followed closely by a trail of goose bumps.

  With her back toward me, she couldn’t see what I’d found inside one of her suitcases earlier that morning, a pink vibrator I’d hidden under the covers, probably the one she’d used to get herself off. What a lucky piece of plastic.

  I wrapped an arm around to her front and flicked the switch. It buzzed on, and before she could react, I pressed it to her lower belly and worked my way down.

  Her back arched with a gasp. Her silky, dark hair waved across her shoulders as she bucked against the vibrator.

  Leaning up over her, vibrator still in place, I whispered into her ear, “I want to watch you with it.”

  Nodding into the pillow that muffled her soft cries, her hand found mine between her legs. She held the vibrator and rode it while I sat back and watched, mesmerized and completely fucking turned on. I squeezed the tip of my dick and reached for a condom from the foiled packages on the floor I’d retrieved from my room before we’d gone to bed. While I tore the foil open with my teeth, I continued squeezing and pumping myself in time to her movements.

  Her spicy candy smell wafted around me, magnified by her arousal. She looked at me over her shoulder and smiled through her self-made pleasure. Not just a smile that promised more, but one that promised a level of trust I didn’t deserve.

  But it was much too late to turn back now.

  I rolled the condom on under her watchful stare then took my position behind her ass. My dick throbbed to be inside her, so I took hold of her hips and pulled them against mine. Her soft skin rubbed against me. I bit back a groan. Not yet. I wound an arm around her hip to switch off the vibrator.

  “How many times have you come with this?” I asked into the sudden silence.

  “Uhm.” Her voice was a breathless whisper. “A lot.”

  “I’ve made you come much faster than this thing, Paige.” I pressed kisses up her back while I dragged the vibrator up her stomach to roll it across one of her nipples. She shivered. “With just my tongue. I don’t think you’ll be needing this anymore.” I tossed it to the floor to prove my point and replaced it with my thumb over her rock-hard nipple. It was wet from the vibrator. I clenched my teeth at how soaked I bet she’d be. “I’m going to see how many times I can make you come, and it will be much more than a lot. Ready?”

  She grinded her ass against my cock. That was all the answer I needed.

  I leaned back on my knees, spread her open wider, and sank into her with one thrust.

  And oh my fucking God. Seeing her like this, spread out like a king’s feast on the bed with her golden skin and that magic ass slapping my hips as I drove into her... She was a goddess, a brilliant-minded woman, all wrapped up in a curvy, delicious body. And I loved her. Didn’t deserve her, but I loved her.

  She looked over her shoulder as if sensing my thoughts, and a thrill rushed through my veins while she eye-fucked me from head to toe. My balls tightened, heat spread over my ass, and that single look almost made me come.

  I growled and grabbed her hips to guide her along my dick in slow, lingering thrusts, then propped my arm on the bed to lean over her. With my free hand, I reached around and found her clit. My fingers stroked both her and myself when I sank into her, and we rode my palm together.

  Her gasps turned to pants. She pressed her back into my chest until we both knelt on our knees without breaking rhythm. Her hand found mine between her legs, and her other wound around my neck to guide my face toward hers.

  “Don’t...stop,” she breathed, her brown eyes fevered, then kissed me like she needed the air from my lungs.

  And I gave it to her. I gave her all of me and more until the trembling inside her gripped my dick, milking it while my fingers milked her. Then surrounded with her naked skin, her spicy candy smell, her silky hair tickling my chest, I came home. Hard and fast and so, so good.

  She smiled against my mouth, kissing away my growl, and we collapsed onto the sheets. Every part of our bodies touched while we dozed. I held her tighter, determined to never let her go.

  Until something rumbled. Not thunder, but something closer.

  I pulled back and looked at Paige to see if she’d heard it, too.

  Red colored her cheeks as she lowered her gaze to my chest. “I’m starving.”

  “That was your stomach?”

  “Yes, Sam.” Her eyebrows bunched together in that adorable way they did when she was irritated with me. “Not all of us are stallions and can match your stamina. I need sustenance.”

  “So, I’m a stallion, huh? I’m trying really hard not to neigh right now.”

  She laughed and squirmed out of my arms toward the edge of the bed. “Let’s go.” She grabbed her clothes from the floor and strolled toward the bathroom, her naked beauty and just-fucked hairstyle on full-on, glorious, chub-inducing display. Sunlight filtered through the half-closed blinds in long, glowing stripes that carried sun dust across her skin.

  “Anyone ever tell you you’re beautiful?” I asked.

  She glanced over her shoulder while picking up a dropped shirt. “Yes.”

  I propped my head up on my hands to enjoy the view. “They’re liars, all of them.”

  “Uh...” Her eyes narrowed. “Fuck you?”

  “You’re better than beautiful. You’re a piece of art out of the minds of the best goddamn artists. You’re an inspiration for a fucking religion.” I held her gaze so she knew I meant every word. “Perfect.”

  She swallowed, her gaze veering away somewhere far off, and hugged her clothes tighter to her body. “I’m not perfect. Not even close.”

  Interesting that she chose to home in on that. I wasn’t trying to embarrass her or anything, but apparently I get compliment happy after sex with someone I’ve been in love with more than half my life. So sue me.

  “We all have pasts. Some of ours are more...lively.” I shrugged. “Maybe someday you’ll tell me about yours, but in the meantime, I’m placing you on a pedestal where you belong.”

  That faraway look in her eyes vanished with a quick, almost angry squint, like she had to concentrate to get rid of it. “So I’m now on a pedestal... which means I’m the equivalent of a house on stilts during the zombie apocalypse.”

  I gave her a slow smile she met with one of her own. I fucking loved the sharp turns her mind took.

  “Surrounded with bubble wrap,” she continued.

  “Naked, of course,” I said, eyeing some side-boob. “If you’re the equivalent of a house, you have to be naked. It’s only fair.”

  “Fine, I’m a naked house.” She laughed. “But what about you?”

  “What about me?”

  “I think it’s safe to say you pedastaled your way onto a house on stilts when I saw you in the library.”

  “Oh?” I liked this blushing kind of honesty we were doing under the disguise of zombie apocalypse preparedness. “And did I pedestal a very naked, very hard house on stilts up next to yours?”

  “I’m pretty sure your house wound up inside my house.”

  I grinned. “Lucky house.”

  A quick smile rolled across her lips, then she fussed with a corner of a sleeve on her shirt. She opened her mouth, shook her head, then tried again. “Apocalypse aside, I’ve really liked sharing a house with you these last few weeks. And I don’t mean that sexually, either... I mean I really, really do, but it’s not just that...” She let out a long breath. “I like you and me.”

  Sweet Jesus, me too. If there was the slightest chance she felt a fraction of the way I felt about her, then I never wanted to do anything to fuck that up. But what if I already had? What if my dissing Hill and the firestorm of messages on my cell had resulted in an explosion outside these perfect hours with Paige? The lies my family hid behind would crumble all around us, and where would that leave Paige? Alone and disgusted with the whole Cleary name, that’s where.

  I got out of bed and strode toward her, tilting her face tow
ard mine so she’d know every word I was about to say was the absolute truth, both heart and soul and everything in between. “Stay with me.”

  When she opened her mouth, I plowed on before she could protest. “Live with me when you land the job at the Library of Congress. Riley can go fuck himself. Your house and my house. Naked. Because I like you and me, too.”

  She was shaking her head before I finished, but the sudden tears didn’t overflow until the end. I didn’t know what they meant, but I hated whatever, or whoever, put them there. Was it Rick? Even if it wasn’t, I vowed never to make her cry because it fucking hurt to watch.

  “I’m not getting the job,” she said and inhaled sharply as if realizing this for the first time.

  “What did he do?” I didn’t even have to say Rick’s name for the tears to fall harder. I knew the dick had something to do with it. My hands rolled into fists at my sides while I searched her tears for answers. “What did he do, Paige?”

  “It’s what I did,” she whispered, backing toward the bathroom. “Please just...” The door closed behind her, but not before I thought she said “understand.”

  I was trying to do just that. Even if she didn’t get the job at the library, there were other libraries. She could still be here, with me, unless she was afraid I would change my mind. But whatever she did with Rick, or because of Rick, it wouldn’t change how I felt about her. Possible scenarios wandered through my mind, but all of them just pissed me off with what I already suspected. Paige and Rick had at one time been together. Since she hadn’t been back in D.C., it would have been before she left, when she was sixteen and he was...not. Oh my fucking God, did he rape her?

  Rage, thick and hot, shook through my limbs. I leaned my head against the closed bathroom door to get control. Eventually, the cool wood and the rush of water from the other side helped calm me down a little. That and the knowledge I would do anything to protect her from him. Maybe he didn’t rape her. Maybe he did. But if Paige didn’t want to tell me about it right then, I wasn’t about to force her.