Risking It All

by JM Stewart

  Becca rolled her eyes. “We’re in Washington, not California, smart aleck.” She arched a brow at him. “So, what happened?”

  “Don’t ask.” He shook his head and reached behind him to shove the door closed.

  Becca shrugged and proceeded into the living room, where she dropped onto the sofa with a world-weary sigh and closed her eyes.

  Standing at the edge of the living room, he swallowed a wry laugh at the irony that was his life. His sister was about to fall asleep on his sofa. His niece had stretched out on her tummy on the floor and taken over his TV. Ceci had taken refuge in his room. Who needed dating and marriage? He had women coming out of his ears. Even his partner was a woman. A woman who’d nudged him for months now to reveal his true feelings for Ceci. Marsha would be proud of him. Too bad the kiss didn’t have the desired effect.

  Becca’s eyes popped open moments later, and she abruptly sat forward, as if she’d caught herself falling asleep. “Sorry, Ky, but Malia already has the three little ones at home. I couldn’t leave Allie with her, too.”

  Malia and Evan had three kids, all girls. The oldest, Alana, was in first grade, and the middle girl, Lea, had started kindergarten this year. The youngest, little Kailani was three.

  “I happen to know Malia would be more than happy to take Allie.” He suppressed the grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “She tells you that all the time.”

  Not that he minded watching his niece. She was a great kid. She had personality by buckets full, and they always had a good time together. He could never resist giving his forceful little sister a hard time about it, though. He was a pushover, and they both knew it.

  “What, like you actually have plans today or something?” She cocked a brow, but a playful grin tugged at the corner of her mouth.

  “I might.” He strolled to the center of the living room and stopped, tucking his hands in his pockets.

  Becca referred, of course, to the fact he had no life outside of work. He went out with the guys every once in a while, but he didn’t date often. He invariably ended up comparing every woman he went out with to Ceci. Sad to say, no other woman ever measured up. A year ago he quit trying when a date with a fellow officer went south. Halfway through their first date, she politely pointed out he’d spent the entire night talking about Ceci. Lucky for him, she took it with good humor. They were still friends.

  After that, he decided it wasn’t fair to the women he went out with because, deep down, his heart wasn’t truly in it. For the past six months, he’d tried distancing himself from Ceci, hoping somehow he’d get over his infatuation with her. Up until she’d showed up on his doorstep last night, it had appeared to work.

  “Hey, Becca.”

  At the sound of her voice, he turned his head. Ceci stood at the edge of the kitchen, a brilliant smile on her face, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She’d dressed in the now-clean clothing she’d come over in yesterday.

  “Hi, Allie.” Ceci waggled her fingers.

  Allie rolled over on her tummy and smiled in return. “Hi, Ceci. I get to play with Uncle Kyle today.”

  “Oh, that sounds like fun.” Ceci darted a wary glance at him as she made her way through the kitchen and into the living room. Her back stiff and straight, she walked a wide path around him, as if afraid to come too close.

  Watching her made his chest ache. Was she afraid he’d jump on her? The simple look said way too much and had a thick, palpable tension mounting in the air between them. Kissing her might have been a dream come true for him, but it appeared to have been a nightmare for her. He’d taken their relationship in a direction for which she obviously hadn’t been prepared.

  Therein lay his problem. He’d had a taste of her, of the passion his poor, misguided heart told him could be between them. Now he had a vivid image to go with the fantasy. Now he knew the delicate flavor of her mouth and the soft little shudder she made the first time his tongue had caressed hers. The very thought tormented him. One kiss would never be enough. A hundred would never be enough. He almost wanted to laugh. How ironic. He’d been trying to distance himself from her, and in one moment of total insanity, he’d accomplished his task. Too bad he hadn’t anticipated how long and wide the distance between them would be.

  “Why do I get the feeling I’m interrupting something?” Her brows raised, Becca darted a glance between them. A slow grin spread across her mouth.

  He obviously wasn’t the only one who noticed the tension between him and Ceci. The women in his family had been waiting for the two of them to get together for years. Oh, they didn’t think he knew, but Chase and Evan had passed on the gossip at a barbecue last summer. Apparently they had a wager going about who’d kiss who first.

  For a moment, he considered letting Becca think what she wanted. What happened between him and Ceci concerned no one else.

  “You’re not.” Ceci smiled again, this one forced and awkward, and darted a glance at him. “I came to ask Kyle a favor, but I was just leaving.”

  Seeing his opportunity to smooth things out, he took a step toward her. “Let me drive you.”

  “No, but thank you.” She hiked her chin up a notch, folding her arms across her stomach. “I could use the fresh air.”

  Tension flared once again between them, crackling in the air. Gone was the woman who felt so comfortable with him she climbed in his bed and draped herself over his chest. Her discomfort screamed at him from the stiff way she held herself, and his chest ached with the need to make their relationship right again.

  Becca cleared her throat. “So, you guys are coming to Evan and Malia’s tomorrow, right?”

  “What’s tomorrow?” Ceci furrowed her brow as she turned to Becca.

  He opened his mouth to answer but shut it again when he realized she’d directed her question at his sister.

  Allie jumped up off the floor and bounded at Ceci, her face beaming. “Uncle Evan and Aunt Lia are havin’ a luau.”

  Ceci stiffened and darted an unsure glance at him, something Allie immediately caught.

  “You have to come. You have to.” Allie latched onto the end of Ceci’s sweater and bounced, her eyes wide with excitement. “Say yes. Say yes.”

  Ceci shrugged and shook her head. “I’m not making any promises, sweetie. I have a lot to do tomorrow.”

  “Like what?” Becca chimed in. “Weed your perfect garden? You always have Sunday off.”

  “Well, no. A-actually, I have laundry to do.” Ceci’s cheeks turned a bright pink, and her mouth curled into an uncomfortable smile. “And a house to clean. I’m afraid I’ve been neglecting it lately. The flower shop’s been really busy. With spring right around the corner, everybody’s coming in for the new blooms.”

  When Ceci took a sudden interest in Allie’s baby doll, Becca turned her attention to him, a lone brow rising into her hairline. Her expression clearly said she didn’t buy a word of it. Moreover, he had a sinking feeling he knew why Ceci made excuses. She didn’t want to spend time with him, or maybe she didn’t trust him anymore.

  He gave an imperceptible shake of his head, silently begging his sister not to push it. When the corners of her mouth curled into an understanding smile, he swallowed a sigh of relief.

  “So, you’ll keep Allie then?” Becca raised her brows, the question in her eyes.

  “Go do what you have to.” He shooed her with a wave of his hand. “She’s more than welcome to stay here and you well know it.”

  More to the point, Allie would provide a much-needed distraction. He had a feeling he wouldn’t be spending his day off with his best friend. Sadly, until she’d showed up on his doorstep last night, he hadn’t planned on it, but now that she’d come, he’d hoped to spend time with her today. More than he ought to. Too much time had passed since they were even in the same room together, and he missed her. He missed the simple things, like sitting on her back porch, watching the trees lining the edge of her yard sway in the breeze as they sat and talked, discussing their days
, their dreams, and their frustrations. Inane everyday things he took for granted once.

  “Thanks, Ky. I owe you one.” Becca rose from the sofa and bent over Allie, holding her arms out. “Give me a hug, baby. I’m leaving.”

  “’Bye, Mommy.” Allie wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck, apparently squeezing too tight, for Becca made a gagging sound and laughed.

  Kyle turned his attention to Ceci. With Becca distracted by Allie, he and Ceci had some privacy. She’d moved to the front window and now stood with her back to him, quiet and still. He’d stood in the same spot a number of times, staring at the grassy area below, watching the neighbor kids play or people walk their dogs. The visual equivalent of “white noise,” it gave him something to look at while his mind tried to solve the day’s problems.

  Despite knowing he ought to leave well enough alone, he couldn’t let her leave like this. He had to smooth things over. At the very least, he had to try. He couldn’t recall a time when she’d looked at him quite the way she had a few minutes ago, like she couldn’t stand being in the same room with him. He didn’t like the sick sensation that gave him.

  As he approached her, he shoved his hands into his pockets and forced himself to stop a good foot behind her. He didn’t want to push. “Can we talk?”

  She startled, her back stiffening. “Will you help me find my parents?”

  He expelled a breath and let his shoulders slump. So they were back to this. “I can’t.”

  “Then I’m sorry, but I have to go.” She inched around him, as if trying to avoid touching him, and made a beeline for the door. In her haste to get away, she left the door wide-open.

  He could only shake his head at the situation. He might not regret kissing her, but it was a liberty he shouldn’t have taken. It had knocked their already shaky relationship off its foundation. God help him if she ever found out he’d lied to her about her parents’ whereabouts.

  “It’s okay. I’ll give her a ride home.” Becca appeared at his side. The quiet, knowing tone of her voice said she’d figured out something was up.

  “Thanks.”

  “You guys okay? I don’t remember ever seeing her that upset with you.”

  Kyle let out a heavy sigh. He didn’t know the answer. Moreover, he didn’t know if his decision to keep the secret from Ceci was the right one. Oh, he remembered why he did it. He reminded himself every day. He wanted to protect her sanity, her heart. The pain she felt now at the loss of her past in no way compared to what she’d feel when she discovered the truth about her parents. He prayed she never actually remembered it.

  He also kept the truth from her because he’d made a dying old lady a promise. That day, Ceci’s grandmother had gripped his hand hard and begged him. At the time, he was certain he was doing the right thing. The research he’d done only solidified his decision. Now? Now he didn’t know anymore. Three years had passed, and Ceci’s reaction weighed heavily on him, blurring the lines. Did he really have the right to decide she wasn’t strong enough to deal with the information he’d uncovered? He didn’t know that anymore, either.

  “You ever make a promise to someone, positive you were doing the right thing, then live to regret it?”

  Beside him, Becca let out a short, cynical laugh. “You have no idea.”

  Chapter Four

  The following evening, Cecelia paused at the edge of Evan and Malia’s kitchen. Nervous tension twisted in her stomach. Any other day, being there might have relaxed her. She adored the get-togethers, and the Morgans threw one for just about everything. They were always laid back and low-key, with lots of laughter and good food, and she could use a bit of both. But the thought of seeing Kyle had her stomach doing somersaults. After what happened between them, she had to face him, and she had to do it while telling his family she was pregnant. The thought of both scared her to death, because she didn’t know how to do either.

  Luckily for her, Malia was the only one in the kitchen. She stood off to the right, in a blue halter top and a matching sarong skirt, chopping what looked to be pineapple. Her thick dark hair flowed to the middle of her back, and the rhythmic thunk-thunk-thunk of her knife hitting a wooden board filled the silence. From outside beyond the sliding glass doors some twenty feet in front of her, feminine laughter and the low hum of conversation drifted, along with children squealing and the luscious aroma of cooking meat.

  Cecelia took a moment to draw a few cleansing breaths. Truth be told, she almost hadn’t come tonight. She didn’t know how she’d react to seeing Kyle after what happened the day before. Or how he would. She wasn’t sure she knew how to be around him anymore. A simple, albeit mind-blowing, kiss turned their entire relationship on its end. What did that tell her about him? Had his feelings for her changed? God, just the thought had her stomach flip-flopping again.

  She’d come anyway, though, because, blood or not, these people were her family, too. Not only did they treat her like one of them, but they’d been through everything with her. Including Gran’s illness and death. Whatever they celebrated with this luau, she wanted to be there to support them.

  “I hear you thinking back there, Ceci.” Malia turned, offering a warm smile, and waved a hand at her. “Why are you lingering? You don’t need an invitation to come in, sweetie.”

  She offered an awkward smile and stepped into the space. “Hey, Lia. Just listening to see where everybody is. Has Kyle arrived yet?”

  “Not yet.” Malia shook her head as she scooped the chunks of pineapple she’d chopped and deposited them into the hollowed-out rind. “So, you never told me why you two were fighting when I called last night. What’d he do now? He spout off about Jimmy again?”

  At Malia’s innocent question, Cecelia’s heart skipped a panicky beat. Oh God. She’d irrationally hoped to avoid this conversation. She didn’t know what to tell anybody. There was no use denying it, though. One thing about the Morgans . . . they shared everything. It’s what she loved about them. Now, it meant she had to make up an excuse.

  Deciding to stick close to the truth and go for the most obvious, she let out a heavy sigh. She’d have to tell them eventually. “Jimmy and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”

  Malia paused in her task and twisted at the waist to look back at her. Worry creased her brow. “Oh, sweetie, I’m sorry. How come?”

  Cecelia leaned back against the counter beside Malia. “Because he’s a jerk. Kyle was right.”

  Malia pursed her lips and shook her head, going back to slicing up the pineapple.

  “I told Kyle he needed to keep that to himself. It doesn’t help. Is that why you’re nervous? Waiting to see if he’s still mad? Evan likes to hold a grudge. He holds it in until he works it out in his head, but a kiss always melts his walls.” Malia shot a sassy wink over her shoulder.

  Butterflies fluttered in Cecelia’s stomach as her mind flooded with thoughts of yesterday’s kiss. She quickly covered her reaction with a nervous laugh. “Oh my goodness! No. I’m not kissing Kyle. We’ll get over it. Don’t we always?”

  She waved a dismissive hand, but she didn’t believe a word she’d said. That kiss was all she’d thought about yesterday, and she had no idea if they’d get over it. How could she forget kissing her best friend? How could she forget how right that kiss had been?

  Ignoring the wayward direction of her thoughts, she peered over Malia’s shoulder. What she needed was a distraction. She needed something to do, anything to keep busy, or she’d come right out of her skin. Even if it was only cutting up fruit. “Can I help?”

  “Thank you, sweetie, but no. Nothing left to do. I saved the fruit until last only because it’s better fresh cut.” Malia paused mid-slice and shot her a soft smile. “I’m glad you’re okay. What you need is a drink. Go out back and find Evan. I sent him out there with a pitcher of mai tais. Have a drink and relax.”

  She shook her head. “No, but thanks. Evan’s mai tais are my favorite, but there won’t be any more drinking for me for a while. It’s not
—”

  Cecelia caught herself mid-sentence and stopped. She swallowed hard. God, she’d almost told Malia she couldn’t drink for the baby’s health. Except she hadn’t told them she was pregnant yet. She hadn’t figured out how.

  Never one to miss anything, Malia’s gaze shot to hers, brows raised in surprise.

  Cecelia’s face heated. To cover her slip, she plucked a piece of fruit from the mound on the cutting board. “I’ll go out back on one condition. You tell me what the big secret is.”

  For sure there was one. The Morgan family had a tradition, one Malia had brought with her from Hawaii, where she and Evan met and eventually married. Evan had joined the air force when he turned eighteen. Ten years ago, they’d stationed him in Hawaii. He’d met Malia on a beach one morning. Since moving back to the mainland eight years ago, Malia insisted they celebrate good news with a traditional Hawaiian feast.

  Which meant someone here tonight had something to share. Having spoken to Becca and Lila both last night—who’d both called in an effort to pry out of her why she and Kyle were fighting this time—nobody knew yet what they celebrated.

  “I think she’s pregnant again.”

  At the sound of her voice, Cecelia turned to her head in time to see Becca stepping in from the deck.

  Becca closed the sliding glass door behind her and, catching Cecelia’s eye, gave a conspiratorial wink as she headed into the kitchen. “Her tummy’s already poochy.”

  Cecelia breathed a sigh of relief as the atmosphere in the kitchen lightened. Becca sauntered in, a teasing gleam in her eye. Cecelia laughed as she eyed Malia’s small frame. She barely came up to Cecelia’s shoulder, and she weighed all of a hundred pounds soaking wet. As tiny as she was, she couldn’t hide her pregnancies for long. With each of her previous three, the whole family knew long before she and Evan made the big announcement.

  “Out, both of you. I have work to do.” Malia set her knife on the counter and playfully bumped Cecelia aside with her hip. She kept her gaze downcast, but her cheeks flushed a soft pink.