Risking It All

by JM Stewart

  Unable to resist, she brushed her mouth over his, once, twice. Despite his obvious reservations, he didn’t pull away but instead leaned into her. His lips moved against hers in slow, gentle nibbles, and for several erratic heartbeats, she lost herself. The way his warm, inviting mouth played over hers lit every inch of her body on fire. His lips gently plied and tugged, demanding yet soft.

  His arm tightened around her back, drawing her closer, and the tips of her already aching breasts grazed his chest. A heady shiver swept her spine, and she moaned into his mouth. She could spend forever like this, getting lost in the hot wetness of his mouth, in him. Her head swam with the headiness of it all. How could such a tender kiss be so intimate, so completely erotic? How could she have ever denied herself such a simple pleasure?

  Kyle pulled away first, eyes heavy-lidded, his chest rising and falling at a rapid pace. He reached up to brush his thumb across her lower lip, his gaze seeming to follow for a moment. “That goes both ways, you know. My body has a mind of its own when it comes to you. I take it you’ve decided something?”

  “I keep thinking about what you said, about deciding what we could have together is worth taking a chance.”

  That seemed to get his attention, for his gaze flicked hers. The anxiousness written in the depths made her chest clench. She wasn’t the only one with something at stake in this, something to lose. Moving slowly and carefully, her hands braced on his shoulders for leverage, she lifted out of the space and slid over him. He helped by shifting toward the back of the couch, allowing her to easily straddle his hips without fear of falling off. When the very heat of her settled over the distinctive bulge in his jeans, her breathing hitched. His eyelids fluttered closed, and he sucked in a hissing breath.

  His palms slid down her back, curving around her behind, holding her in place. “And?”

  “I think Becca’s right. I have been looking at this all wrong. If ever there was a man worth taking a risk on, it’s you. Truth is, I was scared. I told you that.” Unable to help herself, she outlined his mouth, tracing the crease in the left corner with the tip of her index finger. “I need you in a way I’ll never need anyone. I’d be lost without you.”

  His eyes opened. The heat within them sent heady shivers of awareness sliding down her spine. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “And I’m done being afraid. Of everything. I don’t know what I’m doing. I really don’t. But if I don’t at least try, I’ll regret it. I know I will. I can’t ignore that.” She leaned down, her chest pressed to his, and stared into his eyes, into that place where they connected. She immersed herself in it, in him. “Love me, Kyle.”

  As if given the permission he’d been waiting for, a low groan rumbled from deep within his chest, and he lifted his head and claimed her mouth. Sensation overwhelmed her. The heat of his body infused her. His spicy, masculine scent invaded her lungs. The hard length of his arousal pressed into her belly. Molten fire flowed hot and fast through her veins, and a soft moan escaped her. She clutched fistfuls of his shirt to keep rooted, half afraid she’d float away with the luscious dizziness that swept over her. His mouth slanted over hers, and the tip of his tongue outlined her lips, seeking entrance. When she moaned softly and opened for him, leaning in to deepen the contact, he swept inside, their tongues tangling.

  Lightheaded, for a long moment she could do little more than cling to him, the world slowly spinning away as she lost herself in his kiss. How easily he drew the sensations out of her and how quickly he stoked the fire within her, amazed her. His hands slid up her thighs, dipping in between to graze her center, then retreating and gliding over her hips. In a matter of what could only be seconds, he had her trembling in his lap, a fierce hunger climbing through her.

  “Do you know how much I’ve thought about this?” His voice flowed deep and husky in her ear as he feathered fiery, languid kisses along her shoulder and up her neck. “All through dinner all I could think about was holding you, touching you.”

  “Yesss . . .” The word left her mouth on a soft, hissing breath that faded into a moan as one large, warm hand slid around the curve of her breast. She closed her eyes and arched into him, completely at his mercy as he kneaded the sensitive flesh, plucking at her nipples with a leisure that drove her mad. She ached to touch him, needed nothing more than to feel his bare skin against hers.

  Reaching between them, she worked at opening the buttons on his shirt, her hands shaking, making the process slow and painful. Five buttons down, she growled, ready to simply yank the garment off over his head.

  He hooked two fingers under her chin and lifted it. His other hand slid over hers, stilling it. The intensity of the emotions glimmering in his heavy-lidded eyes held her captive. The smoldering heat washed through her. The tender affection, the gentleness that was all Kyle, stabbed at her heart. A little piece of him stole inside and became a part of her. It would be there forever.

  “Slow.” His voice flowed over her mouth as he leaned in, his lips brushing hers. “I want to savor you.”

  His statement said it all. This wouldn’t be like the last time. Last time they gave in to passion, to their bodies’ greedy desires. Tonight she was giving in to her heart’s desires. He was right. She wanted to savor every moment of her time with him.

  The rest of their clothing came off slowly, piece by piece. Every inch of skin she uncovered she lavished with attention, kissing, licking, and caressing the way he showed her the last time they’d made love. All the while, she delighted in his reactions. The sexy rumbles she drew out of him. The way his body trembled beneath her. Each sound, every twitch of muscle, drew her need out to a burning, desperate ache.

  As the last piece of clothing hit the floor, she slid over him again, settling once more astride his now-bare hips. She leaned down, pressing her chest to his. Her puckered nipples strained between them. The tip of him nudged her entrance and set her thighs quivering. God, she didn’t know it was possible to want someone this much. Every inch of her trembled, and all sensation pooled between her thighs. He already had her teetering on the edge.

  His calloused palms slid over the curve of her bottom. His gaze darkened, his stormy eyes silently pleading with her to end his torture. Threading her fingers through the silky locks at the back of his head, she ended both their suffering and sank onto him, taking him inch by inch.

  She sucked in a sharp breath and bit down on her bottom lip. Sensation conspired against her. Kyle settled his hands on her hips and set a slow, torturous rhythm. The solid length of him inside of her stroked all the right places, ramping up the ever-burning ache. The crisp, coarse hair on his chest teased her sensitive nipples. His hot skin against hers. His calloused palms squeezing her buttocks. She was surrounded, immersed, lost in him.

  He groaned, his eyes fluttering closed. His arms tightened around her, meshing them so completely she forgot where he ended and she began. He filled her, completed her, and she clung to his neck as need exploded between them.

  Finally, needing more, she slowly began to move over him, thrusting against him. His hips rose to meet her, driven by the same desperation that wound through her. A need for the deep, primal connection that would fuse them, hearts, minds and souls. Their rhythm increased with every thrust, going from soft and sweet to desperate and needy. They clung to each other, his fingers curling almost painfully into her buttocks.

  All too quickly, her climax struck, bursting through her, rapturous and freeing. A high-pitched cry wrenched from her throat as she shattered around him, splintering into a million hot little fragments.

  Seconds later, a low, guttural groan tore from deep within his chest. His hips arched up one last time, and his hands seized her waist, held her firmly in place, as his release shuddered through him.

  Kyle collapsed back against the sofa, taking her with him. His breath came harsh and ragged in her ear, a thin sheen of perspiration clinging to his skin. She wrapped her arms around his waist, rested her forehead in the curve of his sho
ulder, and clung to him. Half afraid if she let go she’d wake up to discover it all a wonderful dream.

  Breathing harsh and erratic, he turned his head, his arms tightening around her, crushing her to him. “I love you, Cecelia.”

  He whispered the words into her hair, his breath flowing over her neck as he spoke, but he might as well have shouted them. Warmth bloomed in her chest, and tears pricked at her eyes.

  She tightened her hold on him and burrowed further into his chest. “I love you, too.”

  ***

  “What are you doing?”

  Ceci’s voice rumbled beneath Kyle’s ear. The laughter she tried unsuccessfully to hold back sent her belly shaking. Meanwhile, her fingers threaded through his hair in an idle fashion, simultaneously soothing and distracting.

  “Shh.” He lifted his head and shot her a playful frown before pressing his ear back to her bare belly. “I’m listening.”

  It was three in the morning, and they lay in the darkness of his bedroom with nothing between them but the moonlight streaming in through the window. Eight days had passed since she’d decided to give their relationship a chance, and so far, every night he found her waiting for him when he came home from work. What an awe-inspiring sight, to see her beautiful face and gentle smile after a long shift. To be blessed with the pleasure of falling asleep curled around her soft, warm curves. He could definitely get used to this.

  Problem was, he couldn’t relax enough to go to sleep. The tension knotting his shoulders refused to let him. A side effect of the emotion that pricked at the back of his mind this week. Guilt. He’d broken his one rule when it came to her—that he wouldn’t get romantically involved with her until he told her the truth. No matter how hard he tried, or how many excuses he told himself, he couldn’t shake the unsettling notion the decision would someday come back to bite him. He’d lied to her when he’d promised to always be honest. What kind of way was that to start a relationship?

  “You can’t hear the heartbeat through my stomach, silly.” Her light, breathy laugh echoed through the silence of the room. The sound filled his soul. He liked her happy, liked seeing her smile. He liked even more that he was the one who made her that way.

  “I know, but I can’t help myself.” He lifted his head again, peering up at the dark shape of her face. “That was pretty awesome, getting to hear the heartbeat yesterday.”

  He’d gone with her to her prenatal appointment the day before. Getting to hear the baby’s fast, steady heartbeat was an amazing experience he wouldn’t soon forget. It solidified her pregnancy, made it more of a reality. Then and there his heart claimed the baby, and the need to make them a family intensified.

  “Liked that, did you?” Her fingers glided along his scalp as she slipped them through his hair again.

  Ensnared by the sight of her, he settled onto one elbow to drink her in, to burn the moment into his memory. Ceci lay gloriously and unabashedly naked, in his bed, the soft moonlight streaking in through the blinds highlighting various parts of her body. She was beautiful.

  Unable to resist, he followed the moonlight’s path with the tip of his index finger. Across her collarbone, from one shoulder to the other, then over the soft swells of her breasts. When he dipped into her sensitive belly button, she giggled and tried to squirm away.

  He moved up to her side and slid over her, covering her body with his, holding his weight on his elbows. “You realize I’m hooked now, right? When I can, I’d like to go with you to every appointment.”

  “Will it have the same effect on you every time?” Her touch light, she dragged the tips of her fingers around his rib cage and up his back, devilment dancing in her eyes. “You barely gave me time to get in the door before you whisked me off to the bedroom.”

  She had him, and she knew it. Something about the doctor’s visit brought a strong territorial urge, a primal need to take and mate, to brand her as his again. He couldn’t begin to explain it even if he wanted to.

  “All you have to do is walk in the door and smile, and my entire body stands at attention. Haven’t you figured that out yet?” He nipped at the curve of her neck, delighting in the sweet, slightly salty taste of her skin and reveling in her subtle flowery scent. “God, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”

  She rewarded with him a soft mewling that sent a wave of heat straight to his groin, and he lifted his head again, wanting to lose himself in her eyes. He wanted to remember her this way, commit every moment to memory.

  She stroked his back, somber for a moment. “It’s odd, being with you this way. Scary and exhilarating at the same time. Like being on a roller coaster, the kind with the three loop-de-loops. It terrifies me, but I can’t stop coming back for more. I’m tired of being afraid, tired of running from my fears. This feels so right, and for once in my life, I’m letting myself go with it.”

  “I, for one, am glad.” He kissed her again. “You’re not alone in that feeling. Truth is, it still scares me a little.”

  Her thumb caressed over his lower lip in a lazy, thoughtful manner. “Can I ask you something? It’s kind of a dumb question, but . . . I need to hear you say it.”

  The somberness of her expression and the tension that suddenly filled the minuscule space between them had unease curling in his gut.

  “There’s no such thing as a dumb question.” He sifted his fingers through her hair, smoothing the silky locks away from her face. “What is it?”

  She drew in a deep breath. “Does it bother you that the baby’s not yours?”

  “He is mine.” He leaned his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. “In every way that counts. Does it bother you?”

  “Yes, because I wish he was.”

  “I want to be there for every step of it, Ceci. I want to watch your belly grow, be there when he’s born, all of it. We’ll do this together. The baby may not share my DNA, but he’s very much mine.”

  As the tension in her body eased, she reached a hand up and stroked his cheek with lingering tenderness. A soft smile played at the corners of her mouth, her eyes searching his face. “I love you, Kyle.”

  Her soft-spoken words washed over him and went straight to his heart. How long had he waited, dreaming of the day when she’d look at him that way? Say those words? He’d never allowed himself to believe the moment would ever arrive. Yet he found himself speechless, unable to do little more than smile in return.

  “Ditto.” He whispered the words against her lips and captured them, sipping and tasting, slowly losing himself in the sweet headiness of her mouth.

  With a soft moan, her hands slid up his back to clutch his shoulders. Her mouth sought his with a hunger that sent the blood pumping hard and hot through his veins. From there, the kiss gained strength, set the fire blazing between them for the third time that night.

  “Love me.” She arched her hips against him, and his body tightened in response, reaching for her heat.

  He caught her hands above her head and twined their fingers together, wanting to connect to every part of her. “Already a couple steps ahead of you, Ceci.”

  “Will it always be this way?” Hands clutching his like she never meant to let him go, she panted, writhing beneath him. “So crazy, so mindless?”

  “God, I hope so.” His own breathing came harsh and ragged as he nibbled on her earlobe.

  Being with her this way amazed him. In the span of a few heartbeats, she drove him to the brink of delicious madness yet filled his heart to the point of bursting. Every moment they spent together, every time they made love, brought them closer and deepened the bond between them.

  As he caught her gaze and arched into her, beginning their slow descent into oblivion, he knew the moment had arrived. Tonight he’d enjoy his time with her, revel in every second they had. In the morning, when the sun came up, their relationship would no doubt change. He had to tell her the truth and let the chips fall where they may. He could only hope she was stronger than he gave her credit for, that she could
handle what he had to tell her, because he couldn’t lie to her anymore. She deserved better from him than a mouthful of lies, and he couldn’t allow their relationship to go any further without telling her the truth. He only prayed that when it was all over, she’d forgive him.

  ***

  Jarred awake by an incessant buzzing, Kyle reached out blindly and slapped the top of his alarm. When the buzzing came again, he pried his eyes open and turned to squint at the clock. The red numbers read 7:05, and it wasn’t buzzing. This time his mind recognized the sound as the doorbell as it sounded yet again, and, with a groan, he pulled himself upright. He retrieved his discarded jeans on the floor and stood to yank them on, buttoning them as he left the room. The doorbell buzzed again, twice in rapid succession.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming.” He grumbled in the general direction of the door, shuffling, eyes half open, down the hallway into the living room. Whoever this was had better have a darned good reason to jerk him from the warmth of his bed, not to mention Ceci’s soft curves, at seven in the damn morning.

  It had better not be Becca.

  He stopped to scrub his face with his hands, trying to rouse himself a bit, and darted a glance out the front window. The sun was up at least, though black clouds covered the sky and a light rain showered the earth.

  With a shake of his head, he turned the dead bolt and yanked the door open, only to find Chase on his doorstep. A sight that instantly roused him. Chase wasn’t a morning person, either. Never had been. Their mom used to have to practically drag him out of bed in the morning just to get him to school on time. That he’d come over so early had unease itching at the edges of Kyle’s consciousness. “It’s early.”

  “I know. I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you. Figured if I came early enough, Ceci might still be sleeping.” His brother stood before him with his shoulders slumped, his brows drawn together in deep concentration. Like he’d come bearing bad news. He leaned to the right, peering around Kyle into the apartment behind him. “She is here, I take it?”