Merle
Page 7
“Do you know where?”
“The kitchen door was open, too, so we’re guessing he’s in the woods again.”
“Have you called his family?”
“No. We thought it might be better if you tried to find him on your own first. We don’t want what happened yesterday to happen again.” Nootaw heard Zach swallow. “Do you think you can find him?”
“Yes. Wendigoes are great hunters. I shouldn’t have a problem finding and following his scent. I was with him the entire day yesterday.”
Nootaw hung up and hurried outside. The enforcers’ building wasn’t far from the alpha’s house, so he was there under fifteen minutes. He didn’t even enter the house. He walked around it and saw that the kitchen door was still open.
Nootaw closed his eyes and sniffed. Scents rushed to him—an owl’s feathers, the grass, but he bypassed them and focused on Merle’s. He was in his wolf form, and he’d ran straight into the forest.
Nootaw opened his eyes and followed the trail. He could hear people following him, talking quietly, but he ignored everyone.
Merle hadn’t gone far, but he was worse than when Nootaw had found him the day before. He wasn’t sleeping peacefully, even though he was tucked in a tight ball.
Merle raised his head when he heard them approaching. He got up and snarled, showing no indication he recognized anyone, not even Nootaw. He growled when Zach crouched close to him and extended his hand, and Kameron pushed Zach back, placing himself in front of his mate.
Kameron looked at Merle. “Come on, kid. You know who we are.”
“What will you do to him if he doesn’t snap out of it?” Nootaw asked.
Kameron sighed. “We’ll need to somehow capture him, but we’re not in a hurry. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
Nootaw looked at Merle, who was cowering against a tree, his fangs still out, his fur raised. He wasn’t attacking, but he wouldn’t let anyone close either. “Do you think I might have a better chance?”
“Probably, but you’d need to get close enough for him to smell you.”
“I can.”
“He might bite you.”
Nootaw shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the first time something bit me.”
“Right. Go ahead, then. We’ll stay here just in case, but I don’t think we should come closer, not yet.”
Nootaw crouched again. He extended his hand and slowly moved forward. Merle snarled, but he didn’t attack. Nootaw took it as a good thing and inched closer. Merle sniffed his hand, and Nootaw saw the exact moment when Merle came back into himself. The wolf closed his eyes, and Nootaw thought Merle might have cried if he’d been in his human form.
Nootaw got up and turned to look at Kameron and Zach. “I think he’ll be fine. You should go back home.”
“What about Merle?” Zach asked.
“I’ll stay with him until he feels well enough to shift back, then we’ll come back. I might need to stay with him tonight.”
Kameron nodded. “You can move in with him if you want to, I don’t care. I just want him to be as well as he can.”
When they left, Nootaw sat on the ground. He didn’t sit close enough to touch Merle, who was still in his wolf form and tucked into himself. Nootaw waited. He didn’t know how long, but he saw Merle slowly relax. When he finally raised his head and looked at Nootaw, Nootaw said, “Want to talk about it? Or do you just want to go back to your room?”
Merle got up and shifted. He hovered uncertainly, apparently unsure of what to do, and Nootaw got up. He didn’t know what he was doing. He’d never had to comfort anyone, but his instincts pushed him, and he slowly wrapped his arm around Merle’s shoulders. Merle shuddered, and Nootaw pulled him closer. Merle didn’t react at first, but then he sobbed and pressed his face against Nootaw’s chest, his hands clutching at Nootaw’s T-shirt.
Nootaw knew Merle was crying, because he could feel the moisture on his skin, but he didn’t think anything he could say or do would help, so he just waited until Merle stopped, hugging him close and awkwardly patting his back.
Merle chuckled and leaned away, and even though his eyes were reddened and still shiny, Nootaw didn’t think he’d ever seen anything so beautiful. The thought startled him, because he wasn’t supposed to think stuff like that. But he wasn’t with the tribe, and Merle was his mate, so he just asked, “Feeling better?”
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“Want to tell me what happened?”
Merle shrugged. “The usual. Nightmare.”
“Want to talk about it?”
Merle shivered and Nootaw hugged him tighter. “No. It was... what Tom did to me, and I don’t want to think about it ever again.”
“All right. Home?”
“Yeah.”
Merle started to walk, but he stumbled, and Nootaw had to grab him. He waited for Merle to get his balance back, but instead of letting him walk, he leaned down and hauled Merle up in his arms. Merle squeaked and clutched Nootaw’s shoulders. “I can walk.”
“I know, but it’ll be faster this way. You’re tired.”
Merle didn’t protest and Nootaw walked back to the house, his mate cradled in his arms. The kitchen door was open and Zach and Kameron looked up when Nootaw entered. Kameron nodded and Nootaw took Merle back to his room. “We’re here.”
When Merle didn’t answer, Nootaw looked down. Merle was asleep, his hand curled into Nootaw’s T-shirt like he didn’t want to let him go. Nootaw gently put him down on his bed, but Merle woke up anyway. He looked around the room with sleepy eyes that widened a bit when he saw they were home. “Are you going back to your room?”
“Do you want me to stay?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll stay, then. Just let me go tell Kameron.”
Merle nodded and moved toward the edge of the mattress to make space for Nootaw. He curled up again and hugged his pillow, and Nootaw quickly went to the kitchen. The alpha couple was still there, talking quietly as they drank coffee.
“How is he?” Zach asked.
“Tired. He said it was a nightmare, but he fell asleep on the way back.”
“Tom?”
“Yes. What Tom did to him.”
Zach sighed and looked down. “I wish we could do something to help him.”
“Maybe he should talk to Gentry.” Nootaw wasn’t sure it could help, but they had to try something. “Does this happen often? The way he runs in the woods?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
Kameron shook his head. “I think his mother would have told us. You saw how she is.”
“So it’s getting worse,” Nootaw said.
“Maybe. Are you going home?”
“No. He asked if I could sleep with him. If it’s all right with the two of you, of course.”
Kameron nodded. “Sure. Hopefully it’ll help him sleep better.”
When Nootaw went back to Merle’s room after washing up, Merle was asleep. Even asleep, his body was tense, but when Nootaw slid next to him, wearing only briefs because the rest of his clothes were dirty, Merle seemed to relax. He shuffled closer and Nootaw hesitantly extended his arm to curl it around Merle’s waist.
He’d never slept with anyone, at least not anyone who wasn’t a sibling. He used to sleep like that when he was a kid, with some of his brothers and sisters, but they’d stopped as soon as they’d become teenagers. It had been a while, at least fifteen years, if not more.
He’d forgotten the intimacy and the comfort sleeping with someone could give, or maybe it was just because this was Merle. Nootaw didn’t really care either way, as long as he could have this for many years to come.
* * * *
Merle woke up warm, confused, and feeling like he was pinned to the bed. It didn’t take him long to realize that it wasn’t only a sensation—Nootaw was sprawled on his stomach next to Merle, one arm swung on Merle’s stomach, as if he was afraid Merle might disappear while he slept.
He stretched, and Nootaw tightened his arm. Merle slowly turned to his side and Nootaw dragged him closer, even though there wasn’t that much space between them in the first place. He didn’t wake, so Merle settled his face on his hand and looked at his mate.
He hadn’t taken the time to really look at him yet. He’d seen Nootaw was good-looking, of course, but with what had happened with Merle’s mom, then the move, he hadn’t had the time to really appreciate just how gorgeous Nootaw was.
His skin was the color of cinnamon, and the red tattoos on it were gorgeous. They were simple lines and dots, some thicker, some thinner, but they complimented his skin color. Merle ran a finger from Nootaw’s shoulder to his nape, the skin there completely red. He could see that his collarbones, the soft skin under his chin, and part of his chest were colored too, and he couldn’t even imagine how much it must have hurt. Merle was used to pain, but he couldn’t imagine inflicting it on himself that way.
Nootaw’s black hair had come unbound during the night and it was spread over his back and part of his pillow. Merle fingered it, smiling when he found it was as silky as it looked. He buried his fingers in it and Nootaw groaned. “What are you doing?”
“Mmm, enjoying my mate’s body.”
Nootaw opened one eye and looked at Merle. “I thought humans used that phrase for something more than cuddles.”
Merle stuck his tongue out. “They do, usually. Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy touching your hair or your tattoos.”
Nootaw lifted his arm and rolled to his side so that he faced Merle. “Are those the only things you want to touch?”
Merle gave a pointed look down Nootaw’s body. He was covered by the sheet from the waist down, but Merle could imagine what he’d find if he lifted it. “No, not just those. I wasn’t about to molest you in your sleep, though.”
Nootaw grinned. “Wouldn’t be molesting if it was consensual.”
“You were asleep. How can that be consensual?”
“I wasn’t.”
Merle arched a brow. “No?”
“Nope. I woke up when you turned on your side.”
“Why didn’t you say something, then?”
“Because I enjoyed your touch.” Nootaw became a bit more serious. “I haven’t often been touched with affection. I wanted to enjoy it.”
“Why did you wake up at all, then? I could’ve continued touching you.”
Nootaw licked his lips. “Because I had a little problem that was starting to get uncomfortable in that position.”
Merle felt his cheeks heat. “Oh.” Nootaw wasn’t the only one with morning wood. Both their dicks were hidden by the sheet and their position, though, so he hadn’t noticed Nootaw’s.
Nootaw reached out and stroked down Merle’s cheek with a finger. “I like it when you blush.”
“Are you doing it on purpose?”
“No. I wouldn’t know how. I just like it.”
They stared at each other until it began to feel awkward. Merle rolled his eyes at himself and leaned forward, kissing Nootaw. Nootaw slipped his hand on Merle’s nape and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss until Merle was panting. Merle tried to push away because he wasn’t sure Nootaw would be comfortable with feeling just how much Merle liked kissing him, but Nootaw stroked his hand down Merle’s back and pulled him closer.
There was no way Merle couldn’t notice Nootaw’s erection now, even though Nootaw was wearing underwear. Merle didn’t have anything on. He’d been too tired and half-asleep when Nootaw had brought him home the night before, so he hadn’t dressed. That meant his erection was poking Nootaw’s stomach and smearing precum on it, and Merle tried to pull his hips away.
Nootaw chuckled. “Why are you trying to get away?”
“Because I’m not sure this is what you want.”
“Believe me, if I don’t want it, you’ll know.”
“All right. I just... what do you want, exactly?”
Nootaw relaxed against his pillow. “What are you ready to give me?”
“Everything.” The word was out of Merle’s mouth before he could think about it, but he didn’t regret it. “I’m just not sure it’s worth it.”
Nootaw frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I just... I thought I’d survived, you know, the lab, but then Tom took me, and I’m not sure I can make it out of that too. Sometimes I think it’s finally over, but then I have a nightmare and I run, and the pain is still there, even though my body healed. It doesn’t have an end.”
Nootaw took Merle hand. “It does. You’re home. You’re safe.”
“I know that, yet I don’t. Sometimes it gets so hard I want to stop fighting and just let the nightmares take me. It’ll be easier.”
“You can’t give up, Merle.”
“I want to. Sometimes, when I wake up alone and terrified, there’s nothing I want more.” Merle never looked up as he talked. He stared at the red tattoo just under Nootaw’s Adam Apple, afraid of what he might see in his mate’s eyes if he did look up.
“I know. But you have a family who loves you, you have friends. You have an entire future in front of you. You can’t give that up for an asshole.” Nootaw paused. “And you have me.”
Merle’s heart stuttered. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. What you said about waking up alone and terrified... we can find a solution to that.”
Merle finally looked up, because he had to know if Nootaw was saying what Merle thought he was. “What solution?”
“Kameron said I could move in with you if you needed me to. I want to help you, so if you want to, I could sleep with you tonight, and every night from now on. You did seem to sleep better with me here.”
“I did. Are you sure it’s what you want?”
Nootaw cupped Merle’s cheek. “Are you sure it’s what you want? You know about me. You know what I am, what I did.”
“And you know I’m broken.”
“You’re not. Just... bent out of shape.”
Merle laughed. “That’s nice. I’d never thought of it that way. But if you don’t mind being woken up by screams and having to run around the forest to find me, then yes, I want you in my bed.” That hadn’t exactly come out the way Merle wanted it to.
Nootaw arched a brow, a smile on his lips, and Merle slapped his chest. “You know what I mean.”
“Uh-huh. You already have me in your bed, Merle. Now you have to decide what you want me to do, exactly. Do you just want me to sleep with you? Or do you want more?”
“I told you I want everything.”
“Does that include mating?”
Merle looked at Nootaw. “I thought you wanted to wait. I thought you didn’t think you deserved it or something.”
“I waited.”
Merle snorted. “Yeah, one day.”
Nootaw tapped his finger on the back of Merle’s hand. “I know it doesn’t seem like much, but I never thought I’d get this opportunity.”
“What, having a mate?”
“Yes. Wendigoes don’t have mates, and they don’t have love. I have a shot at both of those, and with a man I like. I’m not going to say no to that.”
“Jeesh, don’t be so enthusiastic.” Nootaw frowned and Merle kissed his cheek to show him he wasn’t really bugged by Nootaw’s choice of words. “I know what you mean.”
“I don’t think you do. Not because you don’t want to understand it, but because you can’t. I’ve been raised to think I’d be alone my entire life, because of what I am. You’re showing me there’s something more for me out there. I don’t know if I can love you, because I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone, not even my family. I never r
eally spent much time with them, especially in the past fifteen or so years. It’s a long time to be alone, Merle.”
“You’re right, I might not understand it, but I get it.”
Nootaw raised Merle’s hand and put it palm down on his chest, over his heart. It was beating steadily, and Merle found he was soothed by the rhythm. “What do we do?” he asked softly.
Nootaw looked at him for a few moments, then he slowly tilted his head against his pillow, exposing his neck.
* * * *
Nootaw had almost expected Merle to bite him right away, but nothing happened. He looked at the man who was his future, and Merle looked back, his eyes wide, his mouth open.
“You’re serious?” Merle asked.
“Umm, yeah. If you want to.”
Merle nodded. “I do. I just, well, I wasn’t expecting to do this for a while yet. Not that I don’t want to, but, you know.”
Nootaw chuckled. “You don’t have to.”
“Shut up.” Merle was staring at Nootaw’s neck, and Nootaw stretched it, just because he could. Merle swallowed loudly and smiled. “How do you want to do this?” Merle asked.
“Do this?”
“Do you want me to claim you now or during sex?”
“Now.” Nootaw didn’t know why, but he felt he needed to know it was forever, that he wasn’t going to be alone anymore. It was even more important than having sex.
Merle nodded. “Okay. I’m going to bite you now, but after you bite me, I want to taste you, and I’m not talking about your blood.” He slid the hand he still had on Nootaw’s chest down and brushed against Nootaw’s dick.
“Aren’t you afraid I won’t be able to stop myself once I bite you?” Nootaw knew his brother had been afraid of that. He also knew Jared hadn’t, and how they’d gotten over it.
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
Merle put his hand on Nootaw’s chest again. “Because I trust you.”
“After only a day?”
“Yes. My wolf trusts you, too, and I have more faith in his instincts than in mine, so if he thinks you’re good to go, then you are.”