Forever This Time (Hope Harbor)

by Ann B. Harrison

  “Not surprised. Your home life was nothing to cheer about. Best thing you did was leave here to go to college.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  April watched her best friend climb into her car and head off to work. The joy of owning a bakery meant Aggie’s nights were almost always taken up with baking the product ready for sale the next day. Her family had cried in disbelief when she’d brought the business when she returned home after years of living in the city. They didn’t know why she’d come back or what made her change professions. April alone knew the story, and it saddened her that nothing had changed in the years since.

  “Matt, can I give you a hand with dinner?” She wandered into the kitchen where he hacked at a large cut of beef, a scowl on his face.

  “I’ve got it.” He threw the pieces into the pot, stomped over, and put it on the stove.

  “What’s wrong?” She poured herself a glass of wine and waited. Matt had a fiery temper and it wasn’t usually directed at her, rather at things that were out of his control.

  He glared at her, shook his head, and heaved out a sigh. “Look, I get that you’re their mom and all but seriously, April, when are you going to stop making out that your marriage was great? I’m sure the kids aren’t that stupid. I heard what you told them when they went upstairs just now.”

  April bit down the words that were barely contained on the tip of her tongue. It would be so easy to lash out, but she knew deep down that Matt was only looking out for her. His whole family always had, hence the reason she had to tread carefully now with his little outbursts. “Sweetheart, I love and respect you, but in this instance, you’re right. I’m the mom and I know what’s best for my children.”

  “And letting them think you left their father before he died because you didn’t love him anymore is the right move?”

  “I owe them a decent life.”

  “Like everything that happened was all your fault. Stop blaming yourself for once.” He turned on the stove and watched the flame flicker into life. “Let your idiot ex or his crazy family take some of the blame.”

  She put down her wineglass. “I can’t do that, especially within hearing distance of the children. They loved their father, Matt, regardless of what happened. You of all people should understand that. It’s bad enough that they heard how he died. I don’t need to pile anymore on their shoulders.”

  He opened the refrigerator door, pulled out a bag of carrots, and slammed it again.

  “Come on, Matt. Go with me on this one, please. You have the best family and you can’t argue that, regardless of what happened. Look at this place.” April held her arms wide to encompass the beautiful guest house. “If it wasn’t for your family, your dad in particular lending you the money, would you have this?”

  “No.” He peeled the carrots and cut them in half before throwing them in the pot.

  “And you love him, won’t hear a word against him or anyone else in the family. Right?”

  “My family didn’t—”

  April held up her hand. “Do not say it!”

  “You know what I mean. I don’t understand why you let him get away with it.” He glared at her. “My family would never to anything like that to me.”

  “And would you believe anyone if they said different? No, and that’s the point I’m trying to make. My kids need to feel that loved and treasured. The last think I want to do is tell them their world sucks, everything they believed in is a fairy tale. I’m trying to build them a safe place, one where they won’t have to look over their shoulders all the time waiting for the axe to fall like I did.”

  “It’s a lie, April. They think you left their father because you didn’t love each other anymore. They should learn the truth, especially now.” He peeled potatoes, and diced them into small cubes before tossing them in the pot. “I don’t believe in shielding children from pain, giving them rose tinted glasses. The world is a cruel place. They need to understand that. Don’t you think it might be the perfect time now with all that’s happened?”

  He knew all about pain. His whole family did. April leaned over the island counter and chose her words. “I agree but not yet. I tried so hard to protect my children from what went on. Plus, it has been hard moving them away from everything they love, getting booked into a new school, losing their friends. Let them get settled into their new life, okay?”

  “You’re the mom. I just wanted you to know I don’t agree.”

  “Got it.” She took another sip of wine, the fresh notes of crisp apple sliding over her tongue. “I’m going to bathe the children. Tell me if there’s anything I can do.”

  ***

  “I wondered how long it would be before she came home.” Gigi poked her head around the easel and framed the view with the paintbrush and her thumb before ducking behind her painting again, her brush gliding over the canvas. “Poor child. I wonder what sort of life she’s had since she’s been gone.”

  “You make it sound as though she was the one who had a hard time of it.” Drew kicked at the grass, frustrated his favorite woman didn’t seem to understand what he was going through after seeing his long lost love again.

  Gigi put down her paint brush and stepped away from her easel. He shouldn’t feel so needy at his age, but the whole saga with April when he was an intern had been hard, and his aunt was the only person who’d understood how much it had affected him.

  “Drew, my love, you need to stop and think. You two were attached at the hip from the moment you met as children. You knew her better than anyone else. What made April leave like that? Was it something you said or did, something someone else did to her? And if that was the case, you need to find out why she didn’t come to you of all people for help.” She grabbed a rag from her basket of paints at her feet and wiped the spots of bright oil paint from her hands before looking at him again. The acrid smell of turpentine hung in the air. “I also think you need to give her time to adjust to being back home. It’s not always easy coming back to the island, not after you’ve been gone for so long. I can only imagine how the gossip mill will react.”

  “As if you’d let them worry you.” He peeked over the canvas at her painting. The only think he recognized was the blue of the water. The dabs of bright paint in the foreground may or may not have been the flowers in the garden Gigi lovingly tended. The work was still at a very early stage in the process so it was hard to tell exactly what it was going to be. Her paintings sold well on the mainland and in the local art gallery. He even had a couple himself ready to hang in his new house. If he ever got it finished.

  “Oh, not for me. Gosh, you know better than that. No, I was thinking of April. Poor girl might need a friend on her side.”

  Heaven help him. “And you think I should be that friend?” Drew jammed his hands into his pockets and watched the wise eyes rake over him.

  Gigi smiled, a cross between a wicked grin and an I-told-you-so smile. She had the ability to hit right at the crux of the problem. Drew hated that she was usually right. From the day she’d moved in when his mother died, she’d proven just how right she could be for all of them. It was a trait that seemed to cross over to his father too. Between the pair of them, he was driven to frustration more often than not.

  It hurt to realize he still missed April after all this time. Missed the companionship, the love, and the easy going banter they shared. It’d been that way since they were children. If anything happened to either of them, the other was always there for support. They’d been each other’s first love and determined to be each other’s last. Funny she’d decided otherwise when things got tough between them. Sure, he’d had relationships since, but none of them came close to matching what they’d had together, and he’d tried hard to move past that without any success.

  “It’s got to be a tough habit to break. You were so close.” She spread her arms out wide and lifted her face to the sky, soaking up the last of the afternoon glow, oblivious to the chill creeping over the harbor. “I love this time of the da
y just before the sun goes down. The way it plays over the water, touching everything with its warmth. A bit like the relationship that you and April had.”

  “We’re adults now, Gigi. Not children. Those kind of analogies won’t work anymore.” The emptiness in his heart rang heavy in his words. Theirs had always been a warm and loving friendship before anything else. “Besides, you’re conveniently forgetting how fast the temperatures dropping right now. Maybe that would be a better analogy.”

  “Rubbish. But some things never change, honey, and the one person in the world that made you feel whole is right here. I think you should take stock of your true feelings before you push her away because your pride got a little dented, don’t you think?”

  “I haven’t pushed her away, yet. You’re forgetting, she’s the one who ran, not me.”

  “I forget nothing, Drew. And you shouldn’t do anything to her until you know the true story. It’s not like you’ve been a virgin in the time she’s been gone. I know what young men get up to, and with all the eligible females that found their way to your door to help you study, I doubt you lacked a suitable companion for long. Even now there’s always someone calling for you.”

  He held up his hand, not willing to discuss his sex life with his aunt. “Do not go there, Gigi. I have no intention of discussing sex with you.”

  “For a doctor, you’re also a bit of a prude, aren’t you?” She flicked back her wavy silver hair, a dangerous twinkle in her eyes. This had the capacity to go very wrong.

  “Only when it comes to discussing my sex life with my single aunt.”

  “What has me being single got to do with it?” She crossed her arms in a pretend huff. “I’ll have you know that I’ve never lacked for male companionship. Even stuck on this little island, I’ve had a very satisfying sex life.”

  Drew shuddered. “Stop it! I don’t want to hear it.” He jammed his fingers in his ears as she started to count off the affairs she’d had. He looked away, scared he would recognize some of the names of her previous lovers by the movement of her lips. There were some things that should remain sacred even if he knew the man that rocked her world these last few years. He’d never be able to look them in the eye the same way again.

  Drew felt a tap on his shoulder. Gigi opened her arms to him and just like he had when he was a little boy, he stepped into them. The familiar smell of old fashioned rose water she used soothed him as much as it did when he lost his mother. Her grip was just as firm now as it was then. His tough protector and the person who always had his best interests at heart. But this time she had it wrong. He wasn’t brave enough to tell her April had moved on and the sparks were no longer there between them because she wouldn’t believe him. Did he believe himself? Drew didn’t know.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “April, Agnes tells me you’re looking for a place to rent.” Atticus Hope’s whiskey smooth southern drawl came over the phone surprising her. She hadn’t expected to hear from him, at least not quite so soon, and his voice almost brought her to tears. How many times had he picked her up, scraped her off, and set her back on the right track? She’d lost count many years ago.

  “Mr. Hope. It’s good to hear your voice after all these years. How are you?” She sat down on the window seat of her room on the second story of Matt’s B&B and looked out over Hope Harbor.

  “It’s Atticus, April. None of this mister stuff now you’re all grown up and a momma yourself. You’re home and looking for a furnished rental, according to my daughter.”

  Word gets around fast in Hope Harbor, always had. It was nice in a way to find nothing had changed. “Um, yes. Yes, I am. We don’t have much in the way of household goods anymore. At least, nothing worth bringing with us so furnished is the way to go.” A hollow ache settled in the pit of her stomach and she pushed it out of her mind.

  “Go and see Jeff at the real estate office down by the boatshed. I know he has a couple of places there that might suit your little family. Tell him I sent you.”

  “Um, sure. I will and thanks.” Hearing his voice made her all the more homesick for the years she’d been gone. April blinked to clear away the tears that had sprung up.

  “Anytime, darlin’. Now, when are you going to bring those little ones of yours over to visit me and Gigi? Can’t believe you’re all grown up and a momma now.”

  “I guess soon as I can get myself sorted out. I’ll bring them over one day after school, if that’s okay?” Easier than taking them when Drew was home. She’d be seeing more than enough of him at work every day, and she needed to keep her family life away from him for now. At least until she’d come to terms with what she’d done, and April had already convinced herself that the only way a relationship between them would work was if they kept it purely professional. Blurring the lines would only end badly no matter how much she wished things were different.

  “I like that idea. You can always stay for dinner too.” He chuckled and her lips curved into a smile at the sound. He had the ability to make even her dullest day bright again when she was a gangly teenager, and she doubted that would have changed. How he’d remained a widow all these years baffled her. Women went weak at the knees when he spoke. “I’ll make sure we have a stash of marshmallows for the s’mores and light the fire out in the yard just like we used to do for you and the gang.”

  “The kids will love it. Thank you.”

  “Glad you’re back, April. We can use you around here. Missed your smiling face all these years.”

  And she’d missed him too. She’d missed all of them more than it was safe to admit.

  “I can’t wait to catch up too. Bye now.” April disconnected the call and sat with her hands in her lap. A sailboat skimmed past the ferry coming in from the mainland and tacked out toward open water, its sails billowing in the breeze. She sat and watched the ferry dock. The passengers began to get off and set about discovering Hope Island. A truck piled high with lumber followed a line of cars and she watched it pull over and park beside the ferry office.

  “Sitting here won’t get you a home, April. Move it and stop daydreaming.” She slid off the seat and checked her purse for money. A walk down to the real estate office would clear her head, giving her the incentive to get the ball rolling. She had a job, the children were in school, and now all they needed was a home of their own.

  Who was she kidding? It would take more than that, but at least it would be a start. Forgiving herself would go a long way to making her feel better. Perhaps one day she would. April shut the door to her room and skipped down the stairs. Matt walked out of the laundry with a pile of fluffy white towels in his arms. “Talking to yourself again, April? You know nothing good will come of it, right?”

  She batted him on the shoulder, used to his smart remarks. He was one of them few people she felt at ease with. “At least I already know the answers.” The twinkle in his warm brown eyes made her giggle. “You are such a tease. Listen, I’m heading down to check out a couple of rentals. I’ll collect the kids from school and be back later this afternoon. Anything you want me to pick up while I’m out?”

  He thought for a moment. “Nope. Can’t think of a single thing unless you come across a cute little blonde that wants to help me clean rooms and fold sheets, then keep me warm at night. Grab her.”

  “Mattie, all the girls love you. Gosh, I remember how they followed you around at school. It used to drive your brother’s insane. Those sexy eyes and that facial hair you’re sporting now must be a magnet for the ladies.”

  He snorted, stroking a hand over the long, perfectly groomed dark beard. “Sure. So sexy that I can’t seem to get a date these days. The only people I see apart from customers are tradespeople trying to sell me stuff. I have to live my life through my family’s escapades.”

  “Really?”

  He sighed. “No, not really. And before you ask, Drew isn’t dating anyone that I know of, okay?”

  Was she so transparent? “I wasn’t going to ask.”

  M
att put a hand around her shoulder and pulled her close. “I know you weren’t, but the question was in your mind, wasn’t it?”

  “Maybe.” It shouldn’t matter but it did.

  “The only one dating is Gigi from what I can gather. And we don’t want to go there anyway.” He gave a dramatic shudder which made April burst out laughing. “Nobody wants to even imagine geriatric sex.”

  “That is so mean! Your aunt deserves to have a life after all she’s done, and I’d hardly call her old yet.”

  Matt placed the towels on a side table. “Oh, I know it. After putting up with us all these years, she should have her own romance, but she won’t leave Dad on his own. Says he’ll miss her and I reckon he would too. She makes do with ‘little painting trips away’ as she calls them, for a night or two. I have the feeling there’s more horizontal tango than painting involved in those adventures.”

  “It seems funny that she’s been with you since your brothers Snow and Linc were born. And seems very happy where she is, according to Aggie. I can’t imagine life without her.”

  “Me either and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Best surrogate mother we could have had. We all love her to pieces.”

  “I don’t blame you. She certainly soothed enough of my childhood moments to win my undying love too. Can’t wait to catch up with her.” April gave Matt a tight squeeze and let him go. “Right, I must get going. See you later.” She walked out the front door and paused on the top step, breathing in the fresh sea air. Gosh, she’d missed it.

  “Don’t forget the cute blonde.”

  When she turned around, Matt stood leaning on the door frame, the goofy smile she loved on his face.

  “I’ll do my best.” April headed down the hill for the town center, ready for her house hunting adventure to begin. It only took her ten minutes to walk to the real estate office.