Off Center (The Lament)

by Power, P. S.

  The man relaxed, thinking that she was actually fine with him having had relations with Lyse, and looked away from the Doctor, who was still being a bit judgmental, watching the bearded man with cold eyes that didn't fit his normally cheery face.

  "No horses, but I have an old meat cart that will do. I normally borrow a horse for the work though, when it's time to haul things. We don't have a proper livery, but you can probably buy one from Kenny Bates. Just don't tell him it's for me, and it might work. I have a bit of coin put by. Not much. If you look under the floor boards of my kitchen you'll find my lock box. There should be enough, if you haggle well. It's coming into winter, so he should be looking to sell a few, so he won't have to feed them." There was more exact information about where exactly that box was.

  That just left getting to it, without raising too many eyebrows.

  So another thing to do, but it was closer to her goal. Or at least her stated one. She really needed to get Clark or Mara alone. If she accidently died, they needed the information. True, it might not be real, but she still had to pass it along, just in case.

  Finally she just walked up to Mara, who was outside the Judges room, guarding the door, and shrugged, using the only excuse she had. At least that came to mind at the moment. There were probably a million other things she could have said, but just walking up and begging to be let in, to see Judge Claire, would seem a bit off, if anyone was listening.

  "I'm... supposed to have sex with Roy tonight. I sort of know what to do, but, do you have any tips? I don't want him to be disappointed." She waited for the laughter, or teasing to come, but got a serious look instead.

  "Really? Well, I honestly figured that you two had already been going at it. Um, I might have some ideas as to what you can do. Claire might too, if you aren't too embarrassed by the idea of her knowing about it?" She turned, hand raised to knock, but waited, as if Pran might just not want the pretty younger woman to know her secrets.

  This was all about secrets though, wasn't it?

  "That would be good. We haven't just sat and chatted in days. That probably means I'm a horrible friend, doesn't it? I feel kind of sorry for her, being locked up in her rooms like this all the time. I know we need to protect her, but I could have come and played for her or something." She let the bad feelings flow through her, living the guilt for a moment, until Mara made a strange noise at the back of her throat, which after a bit Pran recognized as choked off laughter.

  "You've been rather busy. Trust me, way before we had you off playing for Claire, Clark and I would have been running drills with you. If anyone should have been playing for the Judge, it should have been Bard Benjamin. You know, The Lament's Bard? I'm pretty sure he actually has, a few times. Some other things too, if I'm not mistaken. You should ask her about that. Or him." She smirked and tapped on the door.

  "Come in. Please." The voice was mellow and relaxed sounding, which probably had to do with the fact that Judges, much like Guardians, pretty much lived in one form of trance or another. Pran thought so at least. It was the base technique for both disciplines. Unless they'd been lying to her the whole time. They weren't though. They probably had left out most of the cool tricks, but that wasn't the same as misleading her on purpose. She knew for a fact that what they'd told her worked. When applied properly at least.

  Mara let her voice raise as she entered the well appointed, but sparsely furnished space. It was the same as the last time she'd been in it, but this time the chairs had been moved back against the walls and Judge Claire was sitting on the wooden floor, her behind on a blue pillow that was about a meter square. Her blue eyes were closed and her decently long blonde hair was held back by combs. She didn't have any make-up on, and looked incredibly serene.

  "Pran has a date tonight, with Apprentice Roy, she's come to get some advice in how to entertain him." She was making herself extra loud on purpose and kept talking as she shut the door. Both women turned to look at her then.

  They were smiling.

  Pran walked further into the room, and then shrugged.

  "Are you up to reading me for truth, Judge Claire? It might save time, because the things that I've heard in the last day barely make sense to me. I think that might be lack of information, rather than it actually being crazy. Though I'm a bit worried about that, for myself, so you might want to keep an eye out for that too, while you do it?" There, that was honest enough, she thought. Lying to Claire would be a waste of time anyway.

  The woman stood, flowing to her feet, her white robe, which wasn't her nicest one at all, moving with her like a cloud. When she was upright, her head held high, she took a single deep breath, and, Pran noticed, matched how she was standing, precisely. Then she gave a half nod, indicating that Pran should speak, rather than waiting for questions.

  It took a bit to go over it all, but no cry of "lie" came. Instead there was just a cool and highly focused regard that left her feeling very uneasy. Like her life might end with any misspoken phrase.

  When she wound down, about fifteen minutes later, Mara finally spoke.

  "So, the truth compound, you said it worked, but, how did you get past them? You weren't caught..." She clearly didn't get it.

  "It was..." Pran smiled and looked at the Judge, who was still reading her. That was clear. "I didn't lie. It worked pretty well. Not perfectly, because I noticed that at times I said things that I realized weren't true later, even while under the effects of the stuff, but I told the truth to them, as I believed it at the time. That I was with them, a literal truth, and that I'd back the winning side. They'd heard a lot about my childhood, and well..." She'd glossed over that part, with her friends, but Claire nodded gently.

  The pretty woman glanced at Mara and explained a bit, knowing more than Pran thought she did about her. A lot more. It was enough that Pran stared at her for a bit.

  "Pran was raped and tortured at the Grange. For years. Of all the government run facilities, only Camp Wallace is its equal. That's where-" She didn't get to finish, since Mara spoke first, recognizing the name.

  "That's where we send the worst offenders. The murderers and rapists that can't learn to correct their behavior. I've never been, but I've heard rumors. People killing themselves rather than going. I knew that Pran had been at the Grange, but I thought it was just another orphanage. Why is it allowed to stand if it's that bad?" There was, kindly enough, a glare directed at Judge Claire, as if it were her fault that the situation hadn't been corrected yet.

  She sighed and sat back down on the pillow, gesturing for them to do the same. Mara just sat, but Pran noticed that there were pillows sitting of the side and got one for the Guardian, and a green one for herself too.

  When they were both in place the Judge spoke, her voice raw, like she was about to cry. It didn't show on her face.

  "The Judges have lobbied for it to be closed for years. Decades, to be more honest and precise. The High Council always votes against it, because when released into the world, the children of the Grange tend to become monsters. Even those that never set foot there, and are only slated to go. It was tried, long ago. The only other answer would be to kill them all instead, and we do not kill. Not with our own hands. So we have Camp Wallace and the Grange here. There are, in other parts of the world, different places for that kind of person. The horror of it is vast." She shook her head and let a tear actually threaten to come from her eye. "Think Mara, what would cause a girl like Pran to act as she has in the last weeks?"

  "Huh?" The Guardian seemed to be thinking, but also like everything that Pran had done had been just about right. She said it clearly, staring with a focus that nearly equaled what the Judge had been doing.

  The other woman shifted a bit, her white robe contrasting nicely with the black of the two in front of her.

  "Exactly. She comes across a woman being raped in an alley, and when no one will help her, runs in herself, unarmed, to help her. Most would have pretended not to hear at all, or if no help came, they would have
felt they'd done their part and not risked themselves. But even before that, think... She was there, because when a criminal unfairness, a thing that everyone else would have known couldn't stand long, was done to her, she immediately set out to make a new life for herself as best she could. How hungry do most women get before they think to sell their bodies to survive?" She paused and took a deep breath, actually looking directly into Pran's eyes.

  When she started again her voice cracked. It was a jarring and unexpected thing, and she sounded hard and nearly angry.

  "Then she forced her body and mind into a pattern that breaks most who try it, even when they have years to adapt, that of the Guardian. True, she did it imperfectly, but she did it. Even to the point where, when faced with a hostile force of armed people, she stopped them. She would have given her life to do it. Now, when faced with a new threat, she becomes what she has to in order to meet it. She seldom tells the truth Mara, but Bard Pran is no liar."

  That didn't help explain anything, and Mara just looked like Claire was tossing out riddles. After a bit she put her arm around Pran's shoulder, leaning a bit to do it and growled at her Primary. The one she was supposed to guard. That had to be considered poor form for a Guardian.

  "I don't take your meaning."

  Neither did Pran. Really, she'd lived all those things and it seemed reasonable enough to her. She didn't want to die, but sometimes you had to be willing to. Everyone knew that.

  Claire nodded, her face having gone all calm again. Then she clearly read Pran's mind.

  "Right, everyone knows that, Pran. Except that they really don't. People, most of us, are led by other things than survival. Fear. Duty. Greed. Even when you try to survive, it's out of balance with the rest of the world. You're clearly a genius, your art shows that, but you also have a remarkable ability to make yourself into whatever you think will help you in the moment. To bend when others wouldn't even know they might break."

  Pran thought she got it and made a face.

  "So, basically you're saying that I am crazy? That I should have been left in the Grange rather than let out into the world?"

  That got a worried glance, at Mara, but the woman held out her hands.

  "No! You should have never been there in the first place. No one should, ever. I... Don't know that you're insane, but you aren't... it's just that you're a bit different than most." She was trying to seem polite about it at least.

  Pran nodded. It wasn't as if she hadn't gotten that idea before, was it?

  "Just a bit off center? Like a picture that's good, but a little different? Or a statue carved from the left, instead of the right?"

  Her words made the Judge tilt her head, taking her own turn being baffled, but this time Mara nodded, clapping her on the back a bit.

  "Ah, okay, I get it now. You're weird. Well, we all knew that already and still love you, so no harm done. Now, just to change the topic, we're being attacked by people from hundreds of years ago? Is that part of your being strange? Because it would make more sense if it was. And Doctor Millis is in on it? I've known him for nearly a year. He always seemed, I don't know, normal enough. Soft and a bit weak, but everyone seems like that except for other Guardians." She tossed her head indicating Pran, who was sitting there with her head nearly shaved, and thinner than she had been from under-eating for the last bit. "Except for Pran."

  That started a long conversation that didn't end for nearly two hours, when Clark came. Then they had to go over the whole thing again, including the parts about her, which made her blush a bit. The man just listened and seemed to accept it all easily, as if it actually made some kind of sense to him. It showed on his face and in the set of his shoulders. Pran saw it and Claire did too, and they both had shocked expressions on their faces.

  Mara however grimaced.

  "Unholy monkey squats. You knew all this? About Doctor Millis and these... Downloads?" She said it as if it were an accusation and Clark...

  Didn't even blink.

  "Yes. This isn't a new problem, Mara. Every few generations this happens. So far they haven't won, but this time they seem to be taking more time and building up their power base more carefully. It makes sense to do it that way. They have forever to move in and make the changes they want, and other than killing our own people, if we can find them, we have nothing that can touch them. Not unless we can find their complex and destroy it, but, as Claire spoke of a few minutes ago, when speaking of the Grange, we don't kill. Ending them would mean destroying tens of millions, or possibly hundreds of millions of lives. Not ones like our own, but they still exist. They were our forefathers and mothers too. So when they come, we stop them."

  Only, Pran noticed, they didn't really, did they? They delayed them. They threw a tool into the works and hoped to buy themselves a reprieve. Doing that wouldn't work forever, of course. They had a long time to plan and act, after all, and could be nearly anyone. Not, thankfully everyone all at once, or they'd have already lost, but it was probably close to that.

  She looked at Clark and then Judge Claire. If he knew, then why hadn't she? Maybe Clark could avoid the subject with her, but how had the Doctor managed to seem normal around her? Why would they keep Guardian Mara out of it as well?

  Clark actually explained that, his large right hand coming out a bit, pointing at his partner.

  "On duty, all Guardians are treated as equals. That's why if High Guardian Saran is around she has to stand watch, and why Apprentice Guardian Pran takes the duty too, even if that's mainly a fiction to make things run more smoothly. It's a rule we have." He glanced at Mara and then rubbed at the scar on his face, the silvered flesh rippling a bit in the pale fall light that came through the window. It was dimming already, but no one lit a wall lamp yet. "That doesn't mean that we all know the same things all the time. I've been here, guarding Claire, but my job is only partly that."

  Pran spoke, hoping it wasn't too out of place.

  "You've been trying to find their base, so that you can destroy it, haven't you?"

  Clark looked horrible then, and stared at the floor.

  "Yes. And using Doctor Millis to try and do it."

  Chapter ten

  After that little announcement, Clark almost instantly turned to planning how to help Pran. She had work to do, and it had to be done in a way that made sense. It would be a huge thing, helping Will escape, and she had to find some way to keep Judge Claire from figuring out she was involved. That seemed a funny thing to say, being that she was right there, sitting in front of them in her old white robe, looking too young to be in a position of power like she was.

  Pran got it though. It was a story. They had to tell everyone a tale that made sense, or else it would be jarring and uncomfortable. If that happened they'd start to think about things, and that, she knew, was almost always bad. All stories had gaps in them. Weaknesses due to time constraints, or the audience themselves. For instance, you couldn't tell a complex story to a simple audience that didn't have context for what you were saying. Children didn't want to bother with adult themes for instance. They didn't care. Tavern patrons would probably not care much about Lambert the Little Lamb, either. Unless they were really drunk already.

  In this case she had to seem innocent enough that Claire wouldn't think to turn her gaze on her. That, or Pran could run off, going with the men as they left. That...

  "I don't like it." Clark was very firm about that one at least. He glared, instantly and without reason, at Mara.

  For her part, Pran simply shrugged.

  "It's... One way of doing it. I doubt that they'll run back to their secret lair, if that makes a difference. I wouldn't if I were them. They were both out here to do a job, and that's a real big issue with Zeke. Mission accomplishment. I suppose if I stuck with them long enough I might be taken to someplace interesting. Or killed. I mean, I'm not one of them. Would you trust someone like me? If you didn't have to, I mean?" She wouldn't, she decided.

  Judge Claire shook her head.
/>   "I have to agree with Guardian Clark. That means we need a way for you to aid William and Ezekiel that won't call attention to yourself. Can you sneak into the village during the night to do these things? It will mean a theft of horses. Unless..." She held out her right hand and clutched at the air for a minute. "I'd rather not have you do that. It would require an investigation..."

  Mara shrugged.

  "Pran, why don't you buy them, for Will? He hasn't been found guilty yet, and as his agent, you can get those things for him, so that after the trial, he can leave town. A lot of innocent people in a case like this wouldn't stay where they were attacked. If he were found guilty, then you'd get the goods, in payment. Or at least that's a good enough idea. Then all you have to do is honestly claim that you recovered the things for that reason. Spread it around. Just really do it and Claire won't be able to tell that you were doing anything wrong."

  It made some sense. As long as the Judge knew not to ask the wrong questions. It would take coordination, later. It was the kind of thing that it would be best to avoid, if possible. Pran could see the problems with it, and if she could, then they were really there.

  Most likely.

  Unless she was delusional too, which just wouldn't be fair. She didn't think she was, but would she know? It seemed that thinking there might be weird things in the world was what she was doing. Clark seemed to be saying it was true, but what if he were merely humoring her, until they could get her to one of the camps for crazy people?

  Yes, she knew she was being paranoid, but things weren't really running all that smoothly. She took a deep breath, and looked at the others, her shoulders relaxing and head coming up. It would make her seem strong and unconcerned about the risk.

  Which was probably insane. Anyone would be worried about all this, wouldn't they? Still, she did it and made herself seem ready for whatever came.