Must Remember: Dead or alive, they want her back. (Solum Series Book 1)

by Colleen S. Myers

  “No.”

  He steeled himself. “What is going on with you and Marin? Dinner? Why were you dressed up? You looked beautiful. New dress?”

  “Marin gave it to me. We were just having dinner.”

  “Dinner, just dinner. Did you know a formal dinner is a way of showing intent, interest? Are you interested in Marin?”

  “What?” How did this turn on me like this? I scowled.

  “Dinner. Formal. Dressing up. That is part of courting. That is why we had dinner. I was declaring my intentions. Has Marin declared his intentions?”

  “Nothing happened. I’ve told him that you and I… Well, that maybe we’re involved, and he’s respected that.” Well, for the most part, he’d respected that.

  “How long did it take him to start working on you? Was he whispering to you even as you stayed in Ute’s house? What did he tell you? Did he tell you about my mother, my family?”

  “No. He told me nothing about you, only about himself. If anyone should tell me about you and your family, it should be you. Why haven’t you told me anything? You told me of pranks and fun, but I’m sensing there is more to it than that.”

  “When have I had time? He hustled you out of Ute’s house as quick as he could. He did it on purpose. From the first day, I could tell he wanted you.” He ground this last out and pulled me onto his lap. I resisted and ended up standing over him with his chin buried in my stomach, looking up at me.

  “Yes, he planned on the Imani attacking me.”

  “You know I did not mean that,” he snarled.

  “What are your intentions toward me? Us? Huh? I asked you the other day, but you didn’t look happy with the question.”

  He hesitated. “I do not know.”

  I turned away.

  “I am being honest! I do not know, but I do know you are important to me. I care about you. I have never felt like this with anyone.” Finn lifted his shoulders, hands outstretched.

  “But you’re planning to mate with Lara?”

  “Did Marin tell you that? The contract was made long ago. Neither of us wanted it, wanted each other. We were together, once, a long time ago, and it did not work out. It meant nothing. Stein, Lara’s father, approached me this afternoon, after the mines; they wanted to reinstate it, for whatever reason. I did not want to end the contract now because we need their expertise.”

  “What expertise is that?” The question hung there. Finn didn’t seem to want to answer.

  Marin answered instead.

  From the doorway, he called out. “Stein’s clan, Clan Halit, are miners. The mines are how we will fight the Imani. We have found a metal called feruk. It has magical properties. When we fought them before, we had a small quantity. The metal is significant because we can use it to coat our weapons. This coating allows our blades to pierce their personal shields. That makes it priceless. We can finally fight them.

  “The Imani tend to fight from a distance. They stand back and pummel their enemies. You have to get up close to kill them, but up close, they have shields, as you saw. Offensive magic can kill them but it takes its toll on the user, and to sing our powers that way weakens the link to the land itself. We needed more reliable weapons.

  “This metal is the key to this war. Before, we had only a small amount of the metal, as I said, but the amount in the mines is a million times that. We will be able to coat every weapon. That is why when you arrived, not only was your appearance suspicious, but where they found you.

  “It would be logical for the Imani to target the mines if they knew of the feruk. Those blasts today, though, they were to hurt, maim. Not to destroy. The structure of the mine remained intact. Why not destroy them? With the Imani’s technical expertise, I would have expected them to bring down the tunnels.”

  “Who knows you’ve found the metal here?” Whoever knew was most likely in the clear.

  “Not many, just the miners. To everyone else, it is regular ore we have found.”

  “So the spy most likely doesn’t know about the metal? Or the Imani would have blown the mine?”

  “We do not believe the spy knows, and we are limiting everyone’s contact with events.” Marin slanted a look at Finn. Finn nodded.

  “Wait, you know who the spy is?” I asked.

  “We believe so.” Marin said. He cut a deliberate glance at Finn who looked away, fidgeting.

  “Who?”

  “That is not important now. Now that we know, we can lessen the risk.”

  Sighing, I sat and let my head drop back against the wall. Finn reached out to pull me close, but I pushed him away. The metal had distracted me. With a meaningful glance at Marin, I motioned toward the door.

  Finn turned to me. “Look at me. We do not know each other that well yet. But I want to. I want to be with you,” Finn continued, as if we hadn’t been interrupted.

  “I need fidelity. It’s a requirement, not an option,” I said, no give in my tone.

  “I do not know if that is possible for me, but I am willing to try.”

  At least he was honest.

  “I can’t, then.” I could be honest too.

  Swallowing, he stared at me, eyes wide. He lowered his face to mine. He always took his time when he kissed me. His lips feathered mine in a light caress.

  That familiar warmth curled through me, and I shuddered.

  “No, no,” he said. “Think about it. When this is all over, then we will talk.”

  “I’m not going to change my mind.”

  “I need to think, as well.” He looked at me as if memorizing my face. “I have never had anyone want me for more than one night. Let me adjust.”

  “Yeah, right,” I muttered.

  “It is true,” he insisted.

  “What do you mean?”

  He laid his cheek on mine and held me tight. “Before we came here, one of my distant grandmothers was taken by the Imani. When we got her back, she was pregnant. She said she was pregnant before she left, but there were always questions. Her son looked like her husband, so those rumors were put to rest for a while. But occasionally, along my bloodline, someone gets white eyes, white hair. Those do not run in the Orin bloodline.” He let me absorb that. “People wondered if Imani blood runs in our veins; then I was born with white eyes. Oh, the women still want me, but only for the thrill, to say, ‘look, I slept with him.’ No one has wanted to keep me. They did not want their children to be tainted by bad blood. I was an accident. My mother hated my father after she got pregnant. She was not forced to mate with him, but like I said, it is expected if the woman becomes pregnant. She died in childbirth. They said it was the shock of seeing my white eyes that killed her. My dad loved me, though; he was my world. We had a good life. All the stories are true. I expected my line to end with me. I was surprised Lara and her father offered for mating. I realized I did not want my family line to end with me. I made the contract… But that was before you.”

  “You confirmed it again today.”

  “Yes, Stein came to me after the blast and said Lara wanted confirmation of our contract. He implied their help in the mines hinged on the contract, so I said yes. She came to see me this evening, as well.” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine.

  “So you will mate?”

  “It is complicated, but I do not want her. I want you. You know this. This does not have to change anything.”

  Swinging round, I hugged myself. “This changes everything for me. I can’t be with you and have you mated to someone else. I can’t do that. I know myself too well. It would tear me up.”

  His furrowed his brow. “I would not be with Lara except when she is fertile.” He trailed off. “I want children. I do not want my line to end with me.”

  A light dawned; he didn’t know if I could give him those children. He didn’t know anything about me, where I was from. We might not be compatible, DNA-wise. I got a clear picture. I shoved him. I was good enough to fuck, but not anything else. He might care about me, but he wanted to have his cake and ea
t it too.

  “I think you should mate with her. You two deserve each other.” I didn’t know why I was so upset. It had just been casual, carnal, but it emphasized to me that I wasn’t cut out for that.

  “Do not be upset.”

  “You can’t give me what I need, and I’m not sure I’m ready for it, anyway.”

  “I can.”

  “No. You can’t! To you, anything that happened with Lara or anyone else would be inconsequential, but not to me. To me, it’d be everything. It hurt to see you, and I don’t need that right now.”

  “So that is it?”

  “Yes, I think it’s best.”

  “Best for you, best for Marin, maybe; I do not accept this. This is not over between us.” He kissed me hard. I pushed him away. He pressed me into the wall. I latched onto his hair and pulled it. Growling, he leaned to kiss me again, so I slapped him. The sound of the slap echoed in the room. I can’t believe I did that. I curled my fingers into my palm.

  “No!”

  He froze. He raised his hand to his cheek and seemed to come back to himself. Without a word, he pivoted and left the room.

  Damn, my hands were shaking, the palm still red from the blow. I ran my hands over my face, then left the room and retreated to the foyer.

  Marin stood there. Lara was back. They were arguing. She grabbed his hands and tried to pull him upstairs. He didn’t budge. Now what was this? Lara sure did get around. I should give them privacy, but I wanted to go to my room. And the sight of her with Marin set my teeth on edge.

  She saw me over his shoulder and screeched. “You!”

  Such hatred in her voice, I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve it. I knew she didn’t like me, but get a grip, sister.

  Marin yelled, “Stop. I do not know where you got the idea that I was in any way interested in you. You are with my brother. I want you to leave.”

  I cringed. That was cruel of him. I may not like her, but still, burn.

  She gave me another look full of hatred and stalked out. A lot of stalking going on tonight.

  “She’s going to tell people I’m here.”

  “She’d better not.” Squaring his shoulders, he went out after her.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  When I got to my room, I threw myself onto the bed. I wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn’t come. I felt numb, like I was in mourning. Yet what was there to mourn? Finn and I didn’t have a relationship. I shouldn’t be this upset. It didn’t make sense to be so emotional. I still had so many questions I needed answers to, a murderer on the loose, and I was crying over a doomed relationship. How pitiful was I?

  I sighed and rolled over. I still didn’t know how or why I was here, other than the Imani were involved. Those damn Imani. I hated them.

  Xade knew; somehow, he knew of my plans.

  I crouched and grabbed the knife, waiting for the catch. There was no way he armed me for a fair fight. The Imani didn’t know what that meant.

  Xade himself remained weaponless, but he showed little fear of my blade. He stood stationary in the middle of the deck, waiting.

  If he knew of my plans, then there was nothing left to lose; he would kill me. I swung my stiletto at Xade with a snarl.

  He danced out of the way, back across the bridge, toward the helm. He slid sideways, and I tracked him, watching for my chance. Xade spread his arms wide in a taunt.

  With a primal cry, I charged him.

  He twisted and blocked my overhand thrust. His knee rose and plowed into my stomach.

  I gagged and backed up. My chest heaved, breath coming out in pants. I flicked back my long red hair, wiped my face on my sleeve, and ran at him again.

  He dodged, laughed mockingly. “So slow.”

  “I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you all!” I declared. I twisted and caught him on the face. His expression fell. He touched his cheek in disbelief, then glared at me. He bled red, just like me.

  Xade motioned to three men I hadn’t noticed behind me, who stood silent witness to our fight. They moved toward me on soundless feet.

  “I am done with this game,” Xade said.

  The men approached me, but I remained focused on Xade, my tormentor. Though they all had identical pale blond hair, unblinking white eyes, and narrow faces, I always recognized him. It was the look in his eyes; the look that said he liked to hurt women.

  Xade pulled a syringe from his pocket.

  No.

  I backpedaled into one of the men.

  He grabbed my hand and twisted, disarming me, and then he pulled my arms above my head. The second and third man closed in. They gripped my legs and held me still.

  I writhed and screamed, unable to break their hold.

  Xade strode forward, jabbed the needle into my jugular, then depressed the plunger. His eyes glittered with malice.

  My vision blurred. “No, not this again. Please.”

  “No, not this again,” he agreed. “This is our last and final gift to you, the gift of innocence. You will not remember the time you have spent with us. You can die happy and unaware, ignorant of your potential.”

  I jerked in their hands at the mention of death.

  Xade observed the movement with a smug smile. He leaned close to me and whispered, “See, we believe you. We believe there is nothing that will stop you from remembering that which we did not wish you to know. No matter what drugs we give you, no matter the gifts we lavish on you, you will not stop your crusade, and we are tired of your ingratitude.”

  I dropped out of their arms and fell to the deck with a thud. “Gifts,” I spat out. “Torture, experiments, pain. None of those are gifts.”

  They stood and observed me lying at their feet. None of them smiled. No, that was too much emotion for them; only Xade showed any expression. He was the progenitor of their line, which made sense.

  My vision grew dim. My ears rang with the beat of my heart, which gradually slowed as I listened. I saw blood trickling from a cut on Xade’s face, and it made me happy. I had marked him, as he had marked me countless times.

  To my right, I saw the mountainside. It reminded me of home. I wanted to go home. I was dead anyway.

  With a roar, I jumped up and staggered to the edge.

  Xade’s laughter followed me down.

  I jerked awake. My hands flew out and I sat upright, heart pounding. I wasn’t falling. I wasn’t with the Imani anymore. I was on Solum, with Marin.

  When I glanced beside me, Marin was there, where I knew he would be. He lay on his back, his left arm above his head. His right hand reached out to me. “Hey, beautiful, are you well? I am here.”

  I grabbed his hand and held it to my chest. He sat up and pulled me close, rubbing his other hand down my back. I curled up next him on my side, my leg wedged between his. This was fast becoming my favorite position.

  Marin pushed the hair out of my eyes and cradled my face. “Elizabeth? Bad dream again?”

  I burrowed into him and nodded. His hand cupped my cheek; I turned and kissed his palm. He put his finger under my chin, and I found myself looking at him.

  His eyes glowed, light brown with little specks of green and gold. This close, I could see his slit pupils constrict as he gazed at me. No matter how beautiful his eyes were, the intelligence there, the cunning, always struck me hardest. I did like a man in charge. The distance faded between us. Marin’s lips grazed mine and clung, so close. My face flushed. I let my tongue swipe along his bottom lip. His eyes narrowed.

  I knew it was wrong even as I did it. I’d been doing a lot of things wrong lately. I needed this. I opened my mouth and took the kiss deeper.

  Marin continued to stare at me, a question in his eyes.

  I wrapped around his neck. I kissed him. I forgot about everything and let myself feel.

  Tingles raced along my skin. It felt so good. I could kiss him forever, but I didn’t just want kisses. I wanted to feel him driving into me. I wanted to feel alive, to know I survived that awful day. Maybe, I wanted to ge
t back at Finn. Maybe, I didn’t know what I wanted beyond physical release.

  I drew back.

  Marin was panting, hands still cradling my face. “What do you want?”

  He echoed my thoughts.

  Pushing him onto his back, I straddled him. “You.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I placed my finger over his lips. This wasn’t the time for questions. My red hair fell around my face. I leaned down, kissing him. Deeper, harder. He caught on. His eyes still questioned, but his legs drew up, and I fell against him. I braced above him, my hair a cocoon around us; he lifted a hand and skimmed the back of his fingers along my cheek. I turned and nipped at his thumb.

  He flipped our positions. I was on my back, Marin between my legs. His elbows bracketed my head. His mouth devoured mine. Kiss after kiss.

  He tasted like man and something sweet, like cherry. It lingered on his tongue. I sucked lightly. He moaned and broke the kiss, his face shoving into my neck.

  I couldn’t believe I was doing this. It felt unreal, like it wasn’t happening to me. Marin purred as he nibbled on the outer shell of my ear. Instinctively, I tilted my head, giving him better access. He sucked my lower lobe into his mouth, and speared his tongue into my ear. Jesus, that felt good. I shuddered, and my nipples pebbled. My stomach tightened, and power rushed through me. Weird, I was pulling power.

  I broke off and looked at him. “Did you feel that?”

  He blinked. “I am feeling a lot of great things right now. Be more specific.”

  That made me smile.

  “Never mind,” I murmured. I lunged up and shoved him back, so I was on top again, my fingers running through his hair.

  I couldn’t help exhaling at seeing him spread out before me. He didn’t have a shirt on. His hands were on my shoulders, but he relaxed back on the pillow. His hair spread out around him, soft and silky to my questing fingers. His slit pupils were wide and fixed on me. It was a little disconcerting. My stomach twisted.

  His marks were stark against the bedding and my skin. Marin smiled up at me. My fingers trailed up to caress his face. I traced them along his eyes. He had such thick eyelashes. My fingers stroked along his nose, touched his lip. He looked so vulnerable lying there, his need blazing up at me.