Tanner slid between her legs and buried himself to the hilt. She dragged his face down to hers, and they kissed, the sensation of being together rising like a phoenix from the ashes.
He moved inside her, and they tumbled over the bed in mutual greed, their mouths desperately fused. She clawed his back and wrapped her legs tighter around him.
Being with her was everything he’d imagined it would be.
They hadn’t even turned down the lights. The room was bright, making their union highly visible.
The only darkness was the night outside his windows. The stables with their fences and horses and breezeway barn. The trails in the distance, with the tall timber of trees.
Together, they moved in synchronicity, like dancers on their own private stage. They kept turning, tumbling, until she landed on top.
She sat forward on his lap, riding him with freedom and grace. He watched the way her body arched, the way she tossed her head back.
Lost in the passion, he reared up to claim her mouth, to tug on her hair. He didn’t know if she was on the verge of climax. He thought she was, but he couldn’t be sure. He was too far gone to know anything except how good she was making him feel.
With his vision blurring, with his heart pumping blood through his veins, he came, hard and fast, his lover’s sweet, sugary name spilling roughly from his lips.
* * *
Candy slept soundly, warm and snug in Tanner’s bed. And in the morning when she awakened, with daylight streaming across her naked skin, she sat up and glanced around.
She was alone in the room. She didn’t know where Tanner was, but everything looked the same as they’d left it. The tequila and shot glasses remained on the nightstand and the rose petals were still strewn all over the floor.
She smiled at the memory. What a night. What a glorious, sexy, beautiful night. She could do this for the rest of her life.
No, she told herself. She couldn’t. Because it wasn’t meant to last. If anything, it would be two years at best. Friends turned lovers, with no strings to trip over.
She glanced up, and suddenly there he was, standing in the doorway like a mirage.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” he said. “I got coffee, tea and muffins.” He held up a cardboard container with the cups, along with a white paper bag that contained the food.
“That sounds great.” She sat a little more forward, pulling the sheet up. It was strange being bare while he was clothed.
He was dressed in jeans, a black T-shirt and Western boots, which she’d come to learn was his most common casual attire.
As he approached her, he tromped right over the flower petals. He might’ve even walked on her underwear since they were in the pile somewhere.
He said, “Obviously the cup with your name on it is for you. It’s chai tea.”
“Thank you.” She drank coffee on occasion, but mostly she preferred tea.
She kept the lid on her cup, opening the plastic tab and sipping from it. He did the same thing with his coffee.
He opened the bag. “The muffins are blueberry bran. It’s the healthiest thing they had. But I doubt it’s going to be anything like the ones you make.”
“I’m down with blueberry bran.” She accepted one of the muffins, along with a napkin. “I need to call Dana and Eric to see how Ivy is.”
“I already did that, and she’s fine.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “She woke up twice during the night, screamed her little head off until they fed her, drank her formula, burped way too loud and went back to sleep.”
She laughed. “Sounds like our kid.” She quickly corrected herself. “I mean Meagan’s kid.”
“I know what you meant.” He was quick to move past it, too. “This morning, they’re taking Ivy outside to carry her around the yard. Jude wants to run around out there, so they figured it would do both kids good to get a little fresh air.”
“That’s a nice idea.”
“I thought so, too. I think Ivy is going to love the lemon tree when she gets older. Your garden is part of the reason I bought the house.”
“It’s your garden now.” His house. His property.
“The flowers and trees will always belong to you, even when you’re not living there anymore.”
Candy took a shaky breath, the thought of being without him constricting her throat. Yet she was supposed to know better, especially with this free-spirited relationship being her brilliant idea.
Was it a mistake? Was it truly possible for her not to get attached? Had she fooled herself into thinking that she was capable of trying to change her ways, without suffering the consequences?
Heaven help her. It was only the first morning after, and already she was worried that she shouldn’t have crawled into bed with him. She needed to get a grip, especially after the way she’d insisted that she could handle it.
He leaned forward, and her pulse jumped. “What are you doing, Tanner?”
“Kissing you.” He put his mouth against hers.
She ditched her muffin and pulled him into her arms. She couldn’t stop wanting him if she tried. Somehow, someway, she would stick to her original plan and make this work, even if it meant hiding her fretful emotions.
He started battling with his clothes, pulling and yanking at them. Off went his boots, his socks, his shirt. When he got to his jeans, he gave up the fight and left them on, just shoving them down far enough to free himself and use protection.
With another mind-blowing kiss, he was deep inside her, thrusting with beautiful force. She pushed back, meeting his frenzied rhythm, until her mind went blank, right along with her pulsing, pounding, fear-induced heart.
Chapter Fourteen
Over the next few weeks, Candy and Tanner spent countless days and nights together. Her fear of getting attached to him hadn’t subsided. It had actually been getting worse. But she kept those feelings to herself, doing her damnedest not to fall in love with him.
She’d graduated to using the L-word, desperately hoping that it wouldn’t happen.
By now the guesthouse was complete, but she wouldn’t be moving in. He’d asked her to stay in the main house with him, making it easier for them to be together, and she’d gone ahead and agreed.
But in light of her struggle, she wondered if that was wise. Why? Because sleeping in his room with him made her feel like his wife? She wasn’t supposed to be allowing herself that kind of twisted luxury.
She entered the nursery, where Tanner was sitting in the rocking chair, reading a nursery rhyme to Ivy. It wasn’t important if she didn’t understand the story. Talking to babies helped stimulate their minds.
He glanced up. “Hey,” he said to Candy, quickly meeting her gaze. Then he paused and asked, “Are you okay?”
Shoot. She smoothed her clothes as if that was the problem. “Don’t I look okay?”
“You seem preoccupied. You’ve seemed that way a lot lately.”
Yes, well, if he only knew. “I’m fine.”
“I think there’s something going on. Come on, what is it?”
She grappled for an excuse. “It’s my mom. She’s been calling and leaving messages, trying to get me to invite her to come over.” At least that was true, even if it wasn’t the main thing on Candy’s mind. “She says she wants to see the baby and bring her a gift.”
“So your mom is softening up a bit, huh?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. It’s hard to tell with her.”
“You should return her calls and arrange a time for her to visit.”
“Yes, I suppose I should. But I hope she isn’t using the baby gift as an excuse to pry. If she hangs around long enough, she’s certainly astute enough to figure out that we’re lovers.”
“So what’s the point of hiding it from her? We’re both consenting adults. She’s
just going to have to accept our relationship for what it is.”
He obviously didn’t care if her mom uncovered the truth. But no doubt he would care if he discovered how emotional Candy was getting over him.
“Are you working tonight?” he asked, moving on to another subject.
She nodded. “I have a doga class at six.” But her thoughts were elsewhere, of course. Trying to shut out her worries, she gazed at the child in his lap. “Is Ivy enjoying her story?”
He glanced down. “She sure is. Aren’t you, little star?”
Candy came closer and stood beside the rocker. The baby kicked her feet and reacted to Tanner, shooting him a smile.
Her first smile!
“Oh, wow!” He whipped his head around. “Did you see that? Did you see what she did?”
“Yes.” She was as excited as he was. Her pulse was jumping all over the place. “I’m going to go grab my camera. When I get back, say something to her to try to get her to do it again so I can take a picture.”
“Okay. This is so cool.” He was grinning from ear to ear.
Candy rushed off and returned with her camera. Tanner coaxed the baby into another smile, and they both went batty, with her snapping as many pictures as she could get.
“Let’s try it again,” he said. “With a video this time, so we can put it on YouTube.”
She suspected there were thousands of similar videos out there already, but this one mattered to them because it was Ivy.
Tanner made the baby smile again, talking to her in a funny voice, and Candy filmed it. She even cut away to Yogi, who’d come into the room to see why the humans were acting like such goofballs.
Afterward, Tanner said, “I think we should all hang out together tonight to celebrate. How about if Ivy and I stop by and see you at work?”
Her heart danced. “I’d love for you to do that.”
“Okay, then we’ll meet you there.” He looked down at Ivy and said, “What do you think, princess? Do you want to visit Candy and Yogi’s class?”
The baby rewarded him with a drool-speckled smile, confirming their plans for the night.
* * *
Tanner drove to the studio with Ivy buckled in her infant seat. This was the first time he’d taken her somewhere by himself. But he was so damned excited about her newfound smiling skill, he couldn’t sit still. He needed to get out of the house.
Once they arrived, he placed her in a cloth carrier that fit across his body. She was facing his chest, so she wouldn’t be able to see much, not unless he turned sideways to give her a better view, which he intended to do while they were observing the class. Knowing Ivy, though, she might sleep through the entire thing. She already seemed on the verge of dozing off.
He entered the studio. By now, he’d become familiar with doga, as Candy and Yogi often exercised together at home. But he was curious to see it in a classroom setting.
Candy greeted him as soon as he walked into the room. He’d gotten there early, giving himself time to get settled in. Her students had yet to arrive.
“Is Ivy asleep?” she asked him.
“Just about.”
“She looks cute, snuggled against you like that.”
“You look cute, too.” He loved seeing her in her yoga outfits. Those long shapely legs. That lithe body. He stole a quick kiss, giving her a peck on the lips.
Candy was a loyal friend, a hot lover and the best nanny Ivy could have. Wanting to touch her again, he gave her another kiss, only a little deeper this time. Nonetheless, he was careful to leave room for Ivy, cautious not to sandwich her too closely between them. The kid was already packed in the carrier like a sardine.
At 6:00 p.m., the students started filtering in. The people came in all ages, genders, shapes and sizes. The dogs were equally diverse: two teeny-weeny Chihuahuas, a regal-looking poodle wearing a rhinestone collar, a wiry terrier full of spit and vinegar, a French bulldog with a comical personality and a potbelly, and a properly behaved Great Dane nearly as big as a pony.
Candy introduced Tanner and Ivy to the class. She called him her friend and boss, explaining that she was his niece’s nanny.
A few of the women fussed over him and the baby, but he didn’t mind the attention. He was proud to show Ivy off, what little anyone could see of her.
He stood most of the time, even if a chair had been provided for him. Candy and Yogi took their places at the head of the class. As far as Tanner knew, this was an intermediate group, even if some of the pooches acted like beginners.
While everyone got settled, the French bulldog and the terrier barely stayed on their mats and had to be coached with treats. After a short while, they calmed down and drifted into the swing of it. The purpose was for owners and dogs to spend time together in a therapeutic environment, and it seemed to be working.
Candy was an exceptional teacher, with Yogi as her clever canine sidekick. The lesson started with a basic seated position, where the students breathed, chanted and massaged the dogs. From there, they did doggy sun salutations, which involved lifting the dog’s hind legs to the sky. Another was called a triangle pose, where the person was standing, stretching and leaning forward toward their furry partner.
The expressions on the dogs’ faces were amusing, especially during the pose that allowed them to lie on their backs while their owners stroked their tummies.
The Frenchie, with his fawn-colored fur and big bat ears, was Tanner’s favorite. He was such an animated dude, either lolling his tongue or grinning in contentment.
The class ended on a sweet note, with the owners placing one of their hands on their heart and the other on their dog’s heart. Tanner had Ivy nestled against his heart, so he was already part of the love.
He glanced over at Candy, and they exchanged a smile. He didn’t doubt that if Ivy was awake, she would be smiling, too.
* * *
When Candy and Tanner got home, they fixed dinner and gave Ivy a bottle. Then, a bit later, after they put the baby to bed, they spent the rest of the evening in each other’s company.
Once they settled cozily in for the night, they removed their clothes, getting ready to bathe together in the master bathroom.
He turned on the water and adjusted the temperature, and she added eucalyptus body salts. It was her remedy for relaxation, something she often did before bed, and tonight she’d invited him to join her.
“It’s been a fun day,” he said.
“I enjoyed it, too. It was great having you and Ivy in class.” She loved spending time with Tanner and the baby. In a perfect world, they would be her husband and her child. But she couldn’t change the dynamics of her situation. She couldn’t claim the man or the baby, even if she wanted to.
He climbed into the tub and made room for her. She sat in front of him and leaned back against his body. It was a tight fit, considering how tall Tanner was, but that only made it cozier, warmer and more romantic.
“I haven’t taken a bath since I was kid,” he said.
She smiled. She knew he meant that he was a shower guy, but she said, “You’ve just been dirty all these years?”
He poked her rib. “Ha-ha. Silly lady.”
“So what do you think?” she asked.
“Of taking a bath? I wouldn’t mind having a few toys to play with.” He paused. “Oh, wait. I do have a toy, don’t I?” He removed his arms from the sides of the tub and slipped them around her. “A soft pretty toy.”
She sighed. “You can play with me anytime.”
“Like my own personal beauty queen?” He teased her, brushing his thumbs across her nipples.
She sighed again, but he didn’t linger. He lowered his hands to her stomach, his touch less sexual.
He asked, “Did you keep any of your tiaras?”
“I saved all o
f them. As much as I hated those pageants, I couldn’t bear to throw away my prizes.”
“You worked hard for them.”
“Yes, I did.” She dipped a washcloth in the water, then wrung it over her skin, making droplets fall from the fabric. “Maybe I should give them to Ivy. With her being a princess and all.”
“You’d do that? You’d give them to her?”
“Why not? I love her as if she’s...” She let her sentence trail, stopping short of saying the rest.
“Your own daughter?” He finished it for her.
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Yes.”
“I love her that way, too. But she’s not mine. She’s Meagan’s, and at some point my sister is going to have to reclaim her child.”
Candy opened her eyes and stared at the wall in front of her. “At least you’ll always be part of Ivy’s life. You’ll always be her uncle.”
“And you’ll always be her very first nanny.”
“Better me than Mary Poppins?”
“Definitely better.” He kissed the side of her face, nuzzling her hair.
They went silent, soaking in the tub, no more words between them. When the water lost its warmth, they got out, and she reached for a towel.
“Don’t dry off,” he said.
“Why not?”
“Because I want to be with you, just like we are, wet and sexy.” He took her hand and led her to bed.
He turned down the quilt, and they crawled onto the sheet, making damp impressions with their bodies.
They kissed, soft and warm, and Candy could no longer deny what was happening. Not only did she love Ivy, she loved Tanner, too. She’d fallen for the man who was forbidden to her. The man she wasn’t supposed to love.
With her heart in her throat, she pressed against him. How was she going to spend the next two years living with him and feeling the way she did?
She wasn’t naive enough to think it would get better in time. She knew her struggle would only continue to progress.
So what should she do? Be honest and tell Tanner that she’d tripped and stumbled? That she’d become caged by their wild-and-free affair?
The Bachelor's Baby Dilemma (Family Renewal) Page 16
