Anxiety Girl Falls Again (Sadie Valentine - Book 2)

by Lacey London

  ‘I’m good.’ I link my arm through hers as we automatically head towards Blossom View.

  ‘We’re walking?’ She asks, suddenly aware that we’ve passed the car park.

  I nod in response and smile. The absence of my car is another part of my plan to coax Ruby. ‘With the sun shining so brightly, it would almost be a crime to take the car.’

  ‘That’s true.’ She shields her eyes from the strong rays and stares up at the blue sky overhead. ‘Don’t you just love days like this?’

  ‘I do.’ I pause and give her a sideways glance. ‘Just think, you could have eight whole weeks of sunshine to look forward to! Antigua, Aruba, Barbados…’

  She rolls her eyes and yawns loudly. ‘I’ve told myself that ten times already today…’

  ‘Well, are you going to listen to yourself?’ I ask, giving her a playful nudge. ‘Or do you need to say it one more time?’

  ‘Why don’t you go, if you’re so taken with the idea?’ She grumbles, plucking her sunglasses from her vintage handbag.

  ‘Maybe one day I will, but now isn’t my time. It’s yours.’ I reply, as we simultaneously duck beneath a flowering tree. ‘Please don’t let Frank stop you from doing this.’

  ‘To be honest, it’s no longer about Frank.’ Ruby smiles sadly as we walk past the school. ‘It’s about my mum.’

  Anger bubbles in the pit of my stomach as my suspicions are confirmed. I knew this would happen. If you are continually told that you will fail, you start to believe it.

  ‘I don’t want to sound disrespectful towards your mother, Ruby, but please, don’t listen to a word she says.’

  ‘Usually, I don’t, but because I was already sceptical of the trip, her doubts have sealed the deal for me.’

  Refusing to allow Yvette victory, I silently consider my next move. ‘Do you want to go? If you don’t, just say the word and I promise I will drop it.’

  ‘You know I want to go!’ Ruby moans, folding her arms in frustration. ‘Who wouldn’t?’

  ‘Then do it for me!’ A sudden surge of adrenaline rushes through my veins and I take her by the shoulders. ‘Do it for all the people at Anxiety Anonymous. If you can’t do it for yourself, then do it for them.’

  A couple of schoolgirls walk past and shoot us a funny look. I must admit that we probably do look rather strange. I am literally begging Ruby in the middle of the street, not caring in the slightest that people are staring.

  ‘Fine!’ She eventually hisses, knocking my hands from her shoulders. ‘Now will you please drop this?’

  Nodding in response, I let out an ecstatic squeal and throw my arms around her neck. ‘You’re making the right decision! This will be a huge turning point for you…’

  Ruby cuts me off abruptly by holding up her hands. ‘You said you would drop it!’

  Silently screaming with joy, I pretend to zip my mouth shut as we continue on our walk. Glancing at her out of the corner of my eye, I inwardly high-five myself as I notice a huge smile spreading across her face. She will thank me for this one day. This will be a monumental milestone in her life, it’s just going to take a little while for her to realise it…

  * * *

  It turns out that it didn’t take long at all for Ruby to realise how exciting this Caribbean trip is going to be, as just two hours and an elderflower cocktail later, she’s animatedly planning her suitcase with me.

  ‘Is the weather hot all year round in the Caribbean?’ She asks, sitting cross-legged in the garden and dipping her cloth into the tin of varnish.

  ‘It certainly is.’ I grin back at her and shoo Mateo away from the sticky polish. ‘You do get rainy seasons, but it will never be terribly cold.’

  ‘So, no UGG boots?’ She leans across the cabinet and tackles a bare patch of wood beneath the drawers.

  ‘Definitely not!’ I let out a giggle and take a step back to get a better view of the cabinet. ‘Aldo is going to be so jealous. With Edward sunning himself in California he is just itching for a sunshine break. I can’t wait to tell him.’

  ‘I’m dreading telling my mum.’ Abandoning her cloth, Ruby stretches out on the grass, causing Mateo to immediately bound over to her. ‘She didn’t believe for a second that I would be brave enough to go.’

  ‘Why don’t you just call her?’ I ask, joining her on the lawn. ‘Some things are easier to say over the phone.’

  Ruby sighs and looks up at the sky reflectively. ‘I should really wait until I have spoken to my manager at Escapism. Besides, nothing is easy to say to my mum when she doesn’t want to hear it.’

  I nod along, completely understanding her dilemma. ‘My mum is exactly the same. You’ve seen how difficult she can be.’

  ‘I have, but it’s always worse when it’s your own mother. I just wish she would talk to me like an adult, you know? She still dismisses my thoughts and feelings as though I’m a child, but you know what? Mum doesn’t always know best.’

  I sit quietly for a moment, letting her words sink in and thinking back to all the times where my own mother has been wrong. ‘That’s true, but I’m sure Yvette would be devastated if you told her how she makes you feel.’

  ‘Would yours?’ She fires back doubtfully, not missing a beat.

  My mind flits to the time our paths last crossed and I recall her face as I told her I loved her. ‘Probably not, but you should speak to her.’

  ‘About the trip?’

  ‘About everything. You only get one mother…’

  For a while, we both lay there in complete silence, happily watching the clouds float past above our heads. Feeling myself start to relax, I trace the outline of each ball of fluff that passes, trying to figure out what they represent. Spotting one that resembles a fuzzy dog, my smile freezes as I’m mentally transported back to the forest. As much as I don’t want to believe it, if it wasn’t for that elderly man and his beloved pet, I dread to think what would have happened.

  Not wanting to ruin a beautiful afternoon by obsessing over what could have been, I roll onto my side and face Ruby. Blissfully pointing out the different shapes, she looks so carefree and content. If Ruby can conquer her anxiety and fly to the Caribbean for two months, I’m pretty sure I can move on from my brief relapse.

  With each dose of Ann, I become stronger and better equipped to control her. I will not live in fear of my anxiety. I may crumble, I may fall down and feel unable to carry on, but no matter what, I will get back up again…

  Chapter 23

  ‘It looks great in here!’ I gush, wandering around Aldo’s living room with wide eyes. ‘I see Edward finally let you paint over the feature wall?’

  ‘Edward isn’t here, so Edward doesn’t have a say.’ Aldo throws his hair over his shoulder and perches on the windowsill.

  I raise my eyebrows and smile to myself, picturing Edward’s face when he finds out his beloved hand-drawn Banyan tree is no more.

  ‘So, to what do I owe this honour?’ Aldo asks, checking out his nail varnish. ‘You haven’t been over here in weeks. What’s going on?’

  ‘Nothing!’ I giggle nervously and shake my head. ‘Can’t a girl visit her best friend anymore?’

  Aldo squints at me suspiciously and frowns. ‘Spit it out. I’ve got a blow dry in an hour.’

  I exhale loudly and roll my eyes, suddenly regretting my decision to drop by. ‘I’m going to Surrey tomorrow.’

  ‘Surrey?’ Aldo repeats in confusion. ‘What for?’

  Biting my lip, I clear my throat and try to sound nonchalant. ‘Aidan asked me…’

  ‘Who?’ Aldo cuts me off mid-sentence. ‘Who the hell is Aidan?’

  ‘The guy from Anxiety Anonymous.’ Blood rushes to my face as he stares back at me. ‘You’ve met him. He came to Blossom View to assess the building work.’

  Aldo holds up his hand to silence me. ‘That guy? What does he have to do with anything?’

  Already knowing how this conversation is going to go, I blurt it out as quickly as I can. ‘I’ve encouraged him to
visit the place where he scattered his late wife’s ashes and he’s asked me to join him.’

  Aldo glares at me with a look I can’t decipher. ‘What the hell are you talking about?’

  ‘Please don’t overreact.’

  ‘Overreact?’ Aldo repeats coolly, rapping his fingers on the windowsill. ‘What do you even know about this guy?’

  ‘I know that he needs help…’

  ‘Isn’t that the truth.’

  Not wanting an argument, I twirl a piece of hair around my fingers and look away.

  ‘Shirley, just try and see this from my point of view. This guy has rocked up to a support group, spun you a sob story and now he’s taking you hundreds of miles away. He couldn’t be more suspect if he tried.’

  ‘That’s not fair. Aidan’s struggling right now, just like I was a few months back, only he doesn’t have a fabulous best friend to help him through it.’

  Tucking my hair behind my ears, I take a step towards him. ‘It’s just one day. I will be there and back before you know it. Just think, if I thought I was doing something wrong, I would have kept this to myself. I’m telling you because it’s no big deal.’

  Aldo shakes his head and rests his hands on his hips. ‘I’ve got a really bad feeling about this.’

  ‘It will be fine.’ I attempt a little laugh, but cut it short when he doesn’t join in. ‘I just need you to trust me, can you do that?’

  He scowls like a petulant child and collapses onto the couch in a heap. ‘Fine, but like I said, I’ve got a really bad feeling about it.’

  Taking this an end to the conversation, I breathe a sigh of relief and sit down next to him. ‘Did Ruby tell you she’s going on the Caribbean trip?’

  ‘You’re kidding?’ Aldo groans, looking genuinely disappointed. ‘With Edward in America, Ruby globetrotting the Caribbean and you in Surrey, what am I going to do?’

  ‘You can hang out with Mateo for the day.’ I tease, letting out a snigger as he shoots me a deathly glare.

  ‘On a better note, I spoke with Pierce last night.’ He grumbles, flicking through the television stations.

  ‘That’s great.’ My stomach flips as I remember I actually agreed to date this guy. ‘I’m pretty busy these next few weeks, but I’m sure we will be able to sort something out…’

  ‘You’re going for dinner at Il Migliore with him next Friday.’

  ‘Next Friday?’ I repeat, suddenly feeling incredibly sick.

  ‘You heard me. He’s taking you to your favourite restaurant, so you’ve got absolutely nothing to complain about.’ He flashes me a stern stare and shoves a cushion behind his head. ‘You’re going to go, you’re going to enjoy it and you’re going to return telling me that I found you the most perfect man on the planet.’

  I smile back at him, trying to hide my anxiety over the impending meeting behind a grin. The idea of a blind date petrifies me and Aldo knows that. Being matched with a mystery man isn’t how I pictured myself getting back into the dating game, but life doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes, you just need to breathe, trust, let go of your reservations and simply see what happens…

  Chapter 24

  Standing on the doorstep, I peek at my watch for what feels like the millionth time. Aidan should have been here ten minutes ago, but so far, there’s no sign of him. Half of me is secretly hoping he’s had a last-minute change of heart and decided to go to Surrey alone.

  After a restless night’s sleep, I have contemplated my decision to join him on this trip all morning. Should I really be taking myself so far out of my comfort zone? Is Aldo right? Is this a terrible idea? So many doubts have been running through my mind, but the counsellor in me is ignoring them.

  Before I have the chance to overthink it, I spot a vintage Porsche 911 slowly creeping along the lane. Squinting through the windscreen, I’m shocked to discover Aidan is in the driver’s seat. The classic car comes to a steady stop in front of Blossom View and I slowly make my way down the gravel path.

  ‘I’m so sorry I’m late.’ He smiles apologetically and leans over to open the passenger door. ‘I had a little car trouble.’

  ‘Whose car is this?’ I ask, sliding into my seat and admiring the retro features of the interior.

  ‘It’s Leonard’s. He kindly let me borrow it for the day.’ Aidan fiddles with the dashboard until the radio picks up a signal. ‘It did take us a little while to get the battery going, but it’s purring like a kitten now.’

  I smile in response as we pull away from the pavement and immediately fall into silence. Suddenly aware that we have a very long drive ahead of us, I feel my stomach churn once more. We have been in the car together for less than five minutes and I already can’t think of anything to say. Fidgeting with my watch, I look out of the window and try to come up with something to fill the deafening silence.

  ‘Have you been to Surrey before?’ Aidan asks, resting his elbow on the armrest.

  I turn to face him, so thankful to have something to talk about. ‘I have not. Aldo and I have taken many trips to London. There was a point where we were there every weekend, but never Surrey.’

  ‘I love London. It’s the greatest city in the world.’ Aidan smiles as we head towards the motorway. ‘Is London as far south as you have got?’

  ‘I used to spend a lot of time in Brighton.’ I mumble, an awful feeling running through me as I recall my time on the coast of England.

  ‘Brighton!’ Aidan repeats happily. ‘Another of my favourite places. The Lanes were Mel’s escape from reality. The quaint shops, the quirky boutiques and the unique charm of the place consumed us.’

  I smile in response, knowing all too well how beautiful The Lanes are. Unfortunately, my memories of them are tainted with the heartache that occurred there.

  ‘It seems to be shaping up to be a nice day after all.’ I muse, taking a stab at changing the subject. ‘The weather forecast predicted heavy rain, but there isn’t a cloud in the sky.’

  ‘It will certainly make the travelling easier.’ Aidan puts up the window to block out the sound of the wind. ‘I calculated it online and the journey should take around four hours, more or less.’

  My skin prickles as I realise just how long this road trip is going to take.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll have you back before the sun goes down.’ Aidan teases. ‘I can’t thank you enough for doing this. If you weren’t with me, there’s no way I would ever have come back. I can’t imagine many other people would do what you’re doing.’

  I smile back at him, my face turning red at his compliments.

  ‘Did you get your damp sorted?’ He asks, clearly sensing my embarrassment as we turn onto the motorway. ‘If you leave it much longer it will spread to other parts of your home and slowly rot them. Ignoring the problem is just intensifying the problem. The longer you leave it, the worse it will become.’

  I listen to his words, remarking at how they could also be used to describe anxiety. ‘I’ll sort it soon.’

  ‘Make sure you do. Once it’s in there, it will eat away at parts you didn’t even know existed.’

  ‘Don’t worry.’ I reply, ignoring the queasiness in my stomach. ‘I know all too well how that can happen…’

  Chapter 25

  We must have been driving for around two hours when I get the uncontrollable urge to stretch my legs. Repeatedly rotating my ankles has finally proven useless and if I don’t get out soon, I might just cease up completely.

  ‘Would it be possible to have a toilet stop soon?’ I ask, fidgeting uncomfortably in my seat.

  ‘No problem. We need to stop for petrol shortly, anyway.’ Aidan nods and points at the sat nav. ‘Can you hold out for another fifteen minutes?’

  Glancing at the screen, I realise that I don’t really have a choice as the next service station is miles away. Crossing my legs in a poor attempt at getting comfortable, I tap my fingers in time to the music as we tear down the motorway. Humming along to the music, I jolt forward as the car s
uddenly bumps and a loud thudding sound overtakes the radio.

  ‘What was that?’ I gasp, trying not to be alarmed as Aidan frowns and leans over the steering wheel.

  The car jerks for a second time before the rumbling noise intensifies.

  ‘Sh…’ Aidan curses under his breath and grips the steering wheel tightly. ‘I think we have a tyre out.’

  ‘A tyre out?’ I repeat, sticking my head out of the window to check if he’s right.

  Putting his hazard lights on, Aidan swiftly manoeuvres the car onto the hard shoulder. Hoping it’s something that can be easily fixed, I unclip my seatbelt and push open the passenger door. A stream of cars fire past as Aidan instructs me to stay on the embankment. Trying to stop my hair from blowing into my lipstick, I shield my eyes from the sun as he crouches down next to the front left wheel.

  ‘We’ve got a puncture.’ He confirms, pulling a large nail out of the very flat tyre.

  ‘So, what do we do?’ I reply, fumbling with the zip of my jacket to fasten it. ‘How do we fix it?’

  Aidan rubs his face and groans. ‘Unless Leonard has a spare, we’re going to have to phone for roadside assistance.’

  I cross my fingers as he opens the boot and shakes his head. ‘Roadside assistance it is.’

  He smiles apologetically and digs his phone out of his pocket. ‘I’m sorry about this. I’ll give them a call and we should be back on the road in no time at all.’

  ‘It’s no problem. These things happen.’ I flash him the thumbs up sign and walk a short distance up the embankment, giving him some space to make the call.

  Taking a seat on the dry grass, I rest my elbows on my knees and watch the flurry of cars race past. Despite the wind, the sun is still shining brightly and I couldn’t be more thankful. This could have been a whole lot worse if the weather would have taken a turn for the worse. Fishing my sunglasses out of my handbag, I take a moment to check my phone. I contemplate calling Aldo, but decide against it when Aidan starts to walk towards me.