by Ema Bancroft
that would keep our secret. That I suspected something was going on. That we'd have to be more careful if we were to keep this a secret. "I added air quotes to the last part."
Elijah let out a relieved breath. "Well... that's... well, isn't it?"
"Oh, and that we're gay lovers."
Elijah drowned. Literally. I was about to say something, but my comment made everything stick together, and his breathing and swallowing got a little confused. He huddled in a ball in bed, coughing and hacking. I patted him on the back.
"Are you all right?"
He wheezed, looking at me through weeping eyes. "Do you think... wheezing... we' re... cough... homosexuals?"?
I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, yes. I guess that makes sense. More sense than truth.
Elijah turned around on his back, finally catching his breath. "Do you think we should tell him the truth?"
I fell right next to him. "I don't know. I feel bad for lying to him. But I don't want to put him in the position of having to lie either.
"Yes."
"What do you think?"
"You're probably right. "Elijah turned to me, resting his head on his hand. "I mean, knowing that we' re... involved... it's one thing. Knowing you're stopping America - fuck, the world - is something else.
I sighed heavily. As if I didn't feel guilty enough.
"Thank you."
He bowed to rub his nose on my cheek. "I'm sorry. But it's true. You know all this will come out in time. And whoever's involved is facing serious problems, B. I'm not just talking about the press. We're talking about lawsuits and all sorts of shit."
I looked him in the eye, so close to mine. I could feel his breath on my skin. "I'm sorry."
"I'm not. " He kissed me quickly. "We're in this together. For as long as we can make it. But I think you're right about Roland. We have to protect him.
"Even if that means impersonating secret gay lovers?
Elijah smiled. "Yeah, okay. I don't care if you don't. " He reached out his hand under my sweatshirt, stroking my stomach as I inhaled deeply. "Fuck, B. I think we're both getting in trouble."
"Yes. " My skin started to warm up.
"All this is going to blow up in our faces. " His fingers slipped higher, and his breath stopped when he realized I wasn't wearing my bandage.
"Uh huh. " The words were barely a whisper as his touch sent waves of sensation to me.
"So you know what they say,"he muttered, pinching a nipple lightly.
I gasped. "What?"
He bowed, brushing his lips on my cheek... my nose. "Oh, you know, live the moment..." His lips hovered over mine, his words floating among us. " Carpe diem... or something?"
Then Elijah kissed me... effectively distracting me from the impending disaster that looms over our heads...?
showing vigorously that he was definitely not gay.
E. C.
We were in such deep shit.
I tried to comfort Daisy, because I knew she was scared because Roland knew about us. But the truth is, we were in a very serious mess.
And at the moment, I didn't see any way out.
I knew Daisy had gotten into all this thinking that eventually, 5Point would follow the path of most boy bands. We would vanish into history, but only after she earned enough money to produce her own album... like herself. She figured by then, no one would care about all this shit.
It would just be a little flicker on the last page of some tabloid, if that's what it is.
Of course, she didn't take us into account, well... I... we... whatever...
And now that Roland knew something was going on, he had to admit that he was worried. We'd have to be very careful.
The bright side of it all was that we finally had someone on our corner. Which made me feel like shit - because we were lying to Roland - but it was also pretty reassuring.
Roland took it easy on the limousine ride to the airport. He simply nodded briefly to me, but did not really give any indication that something strange was happening. He sat next to Daisy, but looked out the window, apparently thought deeply. Raul had called saying he was late and would meet us on the plane.
Ethan relentlessly cheated on Daisy about her so-called sleepover.
"Come on, B,"he said. "Spill."
"There's nothing to spill. " She adjusted her penis. The girl better never play poker, because that asshole was a serious omen.
"Just tell me, was she hot? " Ethan moved his eyebrows suggestively.
"No, Ethan. She was a fucking bitch. " Daisy dead. "Like I'm fucking an ugly girl. " She sniffed, staring at him intently. "I tell you one thing, she didn't kick me out of bed before dawn."
I had to give it to her. B was really getting the hang of being a guy.
Ethan just smiled. "Terri will recover. I'll fly her in next weekend to L. A."
"Don't tell me? " I couldn't hide my surprise. Ethan had never flown with a girl anywhere before.
"Yes, man,"answered Ethan, a dreamy look on his face. "I'm telling you, Terri is amazing. I think she might be the one."
Daisy coughed. "The Chosen One? Like marriage? They just met."
Ethan seemed surprised and Roland and I laughed out loud. "Shit, no,"he said. "Not than the Chosen One."
Daisy seemed so lost, I wanted to explain. But I couldn't stop laughing.
"What do you mean, then? " she asked.
Roland finally controlled himself. "Ethan is convinced that someday he will find a woman who can give him multiple orgasms."
Daisy blinked. "But isn't it impossible for a man?"
"It's not impossible,"Ethan said defensively. "You can do it with the right training... and a lot of patience."
"Ethan's done extensive research,"I explained,"at the Penthouse Forum."
"Fuck you,"Ethan replied. "First, it was Playboy, not Penthouse. Second, I saw a series of two parts of a real doctor who said it was possible.
Roland hit Daisy with his elbow. "Ask him which doctor,"he laughed.
"What doctor?"
Ethan stared at Roland. "She's a real doctor."
"But what's her name? " I pushed him.
Ethan bagged his lips, but he finally answered,"Doctor Light?"
"Oh, come on, Ethan. " I couldn't help but push him. She was too hysterical. "What's your first name?"
He hesitated, but finally growled an answer. "Dee."
Daisy took a minute to put it together. "Wait a second... her name is Dr. Dee Light? Doctor Delight? "she asked, her lips trembling.
"Fuck you. " She's a real doctor."
"Where did you find this real doctor? " she asked.
Ethan got a little red. "On YouTube... but it has its own webcast every week."?
"Yes," Roland said,"His name is Dee Light Your Senses..."
"... and it's sponsored by a sex store in Tarzana,"I added.
"Pirate Pete's Pleasure Palace! " Roland exclaimed, gleefully pointing at me as we sang the tent jingle at the top of our lungs.
When you want to have fun with your phallus
Come to Pete's Pirate of Pleasure Palace
"Aaaaahhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr", we add at the end, in perfect pirate language.
Daisy was laughing so loudly that she had tears on her cheeks. "Pirate Pete? She gasped.
"It's a theme store,"I explained.
"Of course it is."
". Everyone. " Ethan�s eyes narrowed as he crossed his fleshy arms across his chest. "You won't laugh when you finally find the secret of male multiple orgasms and get discouraged because you can only shoot once and that's it.
Daisy wiped her eyes dry and went over to Pat Ethan's shoulder. "You're right. Go for it, Ethan. Live the dream.
"Damn it,"he said nodding his head as we approached the airport entrance.
I wore sunglasses like Roland and Ethan did the same thing.
Daisy frowned slightly in confusion.
"B, do you have your glasses? " I asked.
"They're in my purse. " She shrugged
her shoulders, looking out the window at the cloudy skies. "The sun hasn't come up today. I didn't think I would need them until we got to California.
"Take them out. You're gonna need them. " When she hesitated, I added,"They will prevent the flashes from blinding you so that you can see where you are going. It also helps when no one can make eye contact with you. If you look one of those parents in the eye, he'll come after you like a rabid dog.
Daisy grimaced and put on her sunglasses.
Security was tight when they rushed us to the VIP lounge. I had reached the point where I had barely noticed the screams, and while the bodyguards were preventing me from tearing off my clothes, I had no complaints. We shook ourselves to the crowd before going into the airport and we shook our steps, our hidden eyes concentrated - as always - on the floor tiles. I quickly realized that Daisy was staring in amazement, as a flurry of camera flashes made her steps falter.
"Keep your eyes on the ground,"I advised him. "You hear nothing. You don't see anything."
We ignore the questions shouted and finally arrive at the relative peace of the room. After a couple of drinks we left for a private exit, walking towards the chartered plane sitting on the runway. Our road mates had gone with red eyes after the exhibition at the Garden to prepare things for our concert in San Francisco. We would be performing at the Bay City Festival at Golden Gate Park on Sunday afternoon before going to L. A. for three shows the following weekend. We were lucky to be able to afford two team games. While one team was preparing for L. A. , another would be driving from New York to Texas to prepare our next shows. We jumped all over the country until it was time to go to Europe.
Just as we reached the steps, Raul and Mabel came running toward us, hand in hand. They laughed and kissed, it was like a fucking music video.
I felt a surge of instant jealousy that made me feel so open, while Daisy and I had to be careful how we looked at each other.
It seemed fucking unfair.
But the moment passed, and I grabbed myself. It wasn't his fault, after all. I nodded my head to Raul when they caught up with us. "Hey, man. You did it."
Raul smiled. "You weren't going to leave without me, were you?"
"No,"Ethan replied, throwing his backpack at Raul. "We need someone to carry the bags."
Raul ran to grab the bag before it hit the ground and threw it back. "Shit, that thing weighs a ton,"he said. "Did you have to bring all your dildos?"
Daisy drowned, instinctively trying to protect hers. I tried to cover it, stepping on the metal ladders leading to the plane. "Come on. " Let's get out of here."
Roland and Ethan ran up the stairs beside me as Raul bowed to kiss Mabel. "Goodbye, darling,"he said. "I'll see you next weekend."
"Next weekend? "Repeat, pausing to the door. "You come to L. A. Mabel?"
It's been transported. "Yes. Raul asked me out and stay with you guys for the weekend. I hope it's okay."
I shrugged my shoulders. "Sure. The more the merrier."
"Tim, I heard Mabel say as she kept going up the stairs," Can I talk to you for a minute?".
I looked back to see Daisy nod nervously before I entered the plane, Raul near me.
"What's that about? " I asked him as I sat, placing my purse next to me.
"She just wants to make sure he's okay."
I was pretty sure it wasn't about that, but I let it go.
"I tell you, Mabel's amazing,"he said, falling on a beige leather couch. "She's smart and funny... and hot as shit. I think she might be the one."
"God, you sound like Ethan,"I replied.
"Don't hit him, Enrique," Ethan came up from the bar and pointed at me with his beer bottle neck. "One of these days you'll find the perfect woman and understand."
Roland coughed. Out loud. Too tall to be ignored. I tried not to look at the bastard, but we all looked his way.
"I'm sorry,"he said, shrugging him shoulders. "He swallowed wrong."
No one pointed out he wasn't eating or drinking anything. Instead, we took our seats and tried to make ourselves comfortable.
I took out my iPod and put it in my travel playlist. It was pretty soft shit, because I liked sleeping when we were flying. Daisy finally came aboard after a few minutes, with her eyes wide open and her mouth open.
"What? " I asked, pulling on my ears.
"It's just... this plane..." She rolled a hand around the cabin, and I tried to see it through her eyes. I'd gotten used to it, but I had to admit the plane was pretty impressive. He had about twenty seats, but there were only five of us on board, besides Eddie, who always travelled with us. He sat down and huddled with Roland talking about something. Cecil came with us sometimes for big shows, but this time he sent his assistant, Linda, who was writing something furiously on her laptop in the corner while she was on the phone. The cabin was large, with beige leather sofas and reclining armchairs scattered around... a couple of tables at one end... and of course, the bar...
Daisy looked around nervously, grabbing her purse, her sunglasses still leaning on her nose.
"Sit anywhere,"I said. "Relax, B. This is the only way to fly."
She sat down, and after a few minutes the captain went out to introduce himself. It wasn't long before we were in the air, but I realized that Daisy was still holding her purse tight.
"Don't you like flying? " I asked, I finally understood.
She just shook her head. "Not really."
Ethan got up and pulled a beer out of the fridge, throwing it at Daisy. "Here, this will help you. " After looking at her knuckles still white, he turned to the bar and poured Jack a drink. "Maybe you need a little more,"he said, giving her the glass.
Without saying a word, Daisy shot him back and had a nice beer.
"You'll get used to it,"I said. "Hell, when we're on tour, we practically live in one of these."
"Great. " She grimaced.
"I'm sure Raul has a joint if you think that'll help."
Daisy frowned. "After a drink and a beer? Vomiting for sure."
Yeah. I definitely didn't want to see that again. "Okay, maybe not."
"I'll be fine,"she said. "I just need to think about other things."
"I think that's my cue,"Roland said suddenly, standing and walking around the front of the cabin. "I have something I need to say. "He rubbed his neck nervously and gave me a quick look in the eyes before he fell to the floor."
I sat, paralyzed in my seat, with a sinking sensation in the mouth of my stomach.
Daisy
This wasn't right.
This couldn't be good.
Roland stood in front of all of us and I knew he was going to rat us out. After all that talk about keeping our secret, he thought about it and decided he couldn't hide it from others. I was gonna talk.
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit!
Well, it was only a matter of time. I knew that after talking to Elijah - and even more so after Mabel pushed me away before I boarded the plane.
"You have to let me tell Raul," she said, grabbing my arm after Raul and Elijah disappeared through the door.
"What? No! No, you can't, Mabel."
"Daisy,"she complained. "You know I'm a lousy liar. I mean, the party was easy. It was like acting, you know, telling a story. But if he asks me about you... if he suspects something and comes out and asks me directly? You know I won't be able to lie to him."
"Mabel. You have to do it. It's the only way to protect him.
"What are you talking about?"
I explained what had happened with Roland - and how Elijah and I had decided that ignorance was the only way the other kids would be sure if the story came out.
"I don't know,"she said doubtfully. "I still don't think I'll be able to keep it from him for long. Why can't I tell him that you and Elijah are gay?"
Good God. At this rate, Elijah and I would be on the cover of Out Magazine before the weekend. The Great Marshals at the fucking Pride Parade.
I rubbed my hands on my face. "
Look, Mabel, I gotta go,"I said. Can we talk about this later? Just... don't do anything right now, okay? Give me time to think.
Mabel bit her lip and then nodded. "All right. I won't say anything if Raul calls. But we'll have to talk in L.
A. , Daisy. You know I would do anything for you, but I don't think I can lie to him.
"You really like it. " My voice softened as I saw the truth of my words.
A dreamy smile lit up Mabel's face as her eyes flashed. "I do it. It's so amazing, Daisy. I really believe I could be the Chosen One.
"There's a lot of that going around,"I muttered.
"What?"
"Never mind. " Looking over my shoulder to make sure no one was looking at me, I leaned over to give Mabel a quick hug. "Thanks for doing this, Al. I promise you, we'll make this work, okay?"
We had said goodbye with the promise of solving things in L. A. but I still had no idea how to do it.
Of course, it seemed like Roland was taking everything out of our hands.
"This is hard to say... I'm not sure where to start,"he said himself. I twisted in my seat and fought desperately not to look at Elijah.
Everyone else was silent as he continued. "Something happened... recently..." His eyes turned to me briefly and I swallowed it tightly. "It made me realize some things. Like how important they are to me. And that there are things we shouldn't hide from each other..."
"Roland, are you sure you want to do this? " Elijah interrupted. His voice croaked slightly, betraying his own nerves.
Roland just nodded. "I have to do it. I can't keep it to myself. I'm tired of living a lie.
Living a lie? Sheesh. He'd known us for less than a day. Too dramatic, Roland?
I prepared myself, holding my breath.
It would be a relief, really.
Really.
"I guess I need to say it. " He laughed a little. "Well... here goes..."
Here it goes.
My fingers grabbed the armrest as I held my breath. I could see Elijah from the corner of my eye, leaning forward in his seat. I was wondering what I was thinking. It almost looked like he was thinking of attacking Roland and covering his mouth before he could get us out.
Probably not the most productive way to deal with the situation.
My eyes turned back to Roland as I breathed deeply, blowing slowly.
