Boys Club: How Far Would You Go?

by Ema Bancroft

  Worse still, if I were completely honest.

  I was thinking about Elijah all the time... and not that sweet, dreamy dreamer, I wonder what he's doing right now. Nope. I was in that naughty, dirty, imagining him naked and on top of me.

  Did that make me a whore? I wasn't sure. After all, it wasn't just about sex. I enjoyed talking to him and hanging out with him... and kissing him... and proving it?

  Crap. Maybe I was a whore.

  I knew things were getting out of control with Elijah. We were taking crazy risks and acting like a couple of hormonal teenagers.

  I mean, the close call with Ethan on the phone could have been a disaster. Not to mention all the times we've been lurking in dark corners... snuck into each other's rooms... hidden kisses behind the scenes."

  But we couldn't stop. I knew I couldn't. I longed for Elijah. When he was near, it was as if everything else was vanishing, and all I could think of was being near him.

  So despite all our talk about being careful and not taking unnecessary risks, we did. And even though a black cloud hung over us... a deep knowledge that at some point - probably in the near future - everything would come to light... we were still doing it. Perhaps it was stupid to ignore the inevitable consequences of our actions, but the fact is that I had stopped trying not to.

  All I could do was hope for the best. Maybe it was trite, but it was so deep it was my only option. Because I couldn't leave him. I loved the band. I loved traveling. I loved Elijah. I had everything I wanted right now... and I held on to it as long as I could.

  And when it was all over, I just hoped that Elijah was still there.

  Call me naive, but I was beginning to think it would be.

  "B! " Ethan waved at me from a curved booth on the other side of the restaurant, where he sat with Terri, Raul and Mabel, and I nodded back, making my way through the tables to meet them.

  "Where's Roland and Eddie? " I asked as I sat next to Terri, hastily adding,"... and E. C.?"

  "Roland and Eddie didn't want to be disturbed,"Raul replied, grimacing lightly. "I'd rather not think about it."

  "Shut up! " Mabel slapped his arm playfully. "They're so cute together!"

  "I don't see it. " Raul shrugged. "I mean, I'm glad you met. I don't need to think about what they do behind closed doors. He smiled with a smile. "Of course, the same could be said of Ethan and Terri."

  "Hey! " Terri threw a packet of sugar at him.

  "Well, not you, of course, Terri,"corrected Raul, laughing lightly. "I picture you all the time. But not this guy here. " He shook his thumb with Ethan.

  This time, Mabel was throwing out the sugar packs, and soon the whole table would laugh and mock.

  "Where's E. C. , anyway? " Raul asked. "He'd take my side in all this."

  "Elijah is being anti-social,"Ethan said with contempt, chewing a piece of bacon, and then stopping halfway through the chewing as his eyes lit up with realization. "You know, I think I might have a girl in his room."

  Of course, that comment came just as I took a drink of water, and drowned myself in a piece of ice.

  "Do you think so? " Raul asked, sipping a sip of his juice. "I haven't seen him with anyone."

  Mabel began biting her lip furiously, her eyes intensely focused on her coffee cup as she added a Splenda.

  "Maybe he doesn't flaunt it," Terri observed.

  "But why would I hide it? " Ethan responded. "He's never done that before."

  "Maybe it's a dog,"Raul suggested.

  Mabel gasped. "That's a terrible thing to say! " she said, with scholarship, avoiding looking at me. "I'm sure she's not a dog. " She added another Splenda to her coffee.

  "Whatever. " Ethan shook his hand in dismissal, and his eyes gleamed conspiratorily as he bowed to Raul. "We should call his room."

  "Why would you do that? " I asked without thinking. Ethan and Raul looked at me like I was crazy.

  "Why not? " Raul asked.

  I shrugged my shoulders.

  Mabel added another Splenda, but said nothing. Obviously, stress gave her a sweet taste. Finally she took a sip of her coffee and shuddered. I tried not to laugh.

  "Give me your phone,"Ethan said, reaching out to Raul.

  "Why?"

  "Because he's already mad at me,"he replied. "He probably won't answer if he sees I'm the one calling."

  Raul handed over his phone across the table, and Ethan dialed, both laughing like a couple of idiots.

  I'm serious. Sometimes kids were so ridiculous.

  I tried to stay calm. After all, there was no one in Elijah's room except Elijah. However, the fact that they suspected something was going on made me a little more than nervous. Apparently Mabel felt the same way. She added another Splenda.

  "Yes? " I heard behind me.

  "Who the fuck is in your room, Elijah?

  "Ethan said on the phone.

  Huh? I turned around to see Elijah walking through the restaurant towards us, his phone in my ear.

  "What are you talking about? " he asked, hanging as he slid beside Raul in front of me. "There's no one in my room."

  "I thought you were sleeping,"Ethan said suspiciously, returning the phone to Raul.

  "Yeah, well, someone came knocking on my door and woke me up,"he said loudly, making a toast from Raul. "I couldn't go back to sleep."

  "I thought I heard someone in there with you."

  "Who are you now, fucking Columbo?"

  "Who's Columbo? " Mabel interrupted.

  Elijah blinked. "Don't you know Columbo? Classic television detective,"he said.

  "Is that the bald one? " Terri asked.

  "No, that's Kojak,"answered Raul.

  "And which one is Columbo? " she asked.

  Peter Falk,"answered Elijah. "Wore a wrinkled raincoat... smoked a cigar. "between his fingers as if he had a cigar. "Just one more thing,"he said, mimicking the slow drawing of the TV detective,"You said you saw the suspect at the zoo... but isn't he allergic to monkeys?"

  "Oh yes,"said Mabel, nodding her head to understand. "I like the bald one better."

  "It's sexy,"Terri said.

  "Do you think so? " Ethan asked, waving a hand through his hair.

  And just like that, with a casual commentary on an old TV show, Elias diverted enough of the conversation from who might or might not have been in his room.

  I really needed to learn how to do that.

  0

  "I'm gonna break up, Daisy,"Mabel whispered. She had given me a not so subtle that I need to talk to you, look when she woke up in the costume of going to the bathroom. I followed her a few minutes later, and she threw me into the stairwell.

  "You're not going to break,"I assured her calmly. "You're doing fine."

  "Good"? she shouted. "Well? I just had a cup of coffee with eighteen Splendas.

  "Well, look on the bright side,"I offered him with a happy smile. "No calories!"

  "This isn't funny."

  I sighed, sitting on the bottom step. "I know. I don't know what I'm doing here, Mabel, and I'm sorry to do this to you, but I need you to shut up.

  "I laid eyes of supplication on her. "It's only a few hours before you get on the plane. Then I'll figure something out. I swear."

  Mabel sat next to me. "Sorry, I'm a coward."

  "You're not a coward."

  "I am. I stink like a friend."

  "You don't stink. You're the best friend in the world. " I put an arm around her shoulders. "Who else would bring me tampons and birth control pills?"

  Mabel laughed with laughter. "That is true. Not many kids can say that.

  I laughed. "I'll miss you when you leave. I wish we could have spent more time together.

  "Me too."

  I pulled my arm back, elbowed her slightly. "You don't know. You would have stayed in Raul's hotel room 24 hours a day if you could."

  She laughed again. "Pot. Meet Kettle."

  I smiled. "Okay, you're right. We're both pathetic, sex-crazed nymphomaniacs.

 
; "We should be in Maury."

  "No,"I protested. "That's what birth control pills are for. No. Who's the daddy? for me."

  We laughed, then Mabel looked at me closely. "This whole thing is crazy, you know?"

  "I know."

  "But..." she stopped, biting her lip. "You're happy, right?"

  I blushed a little bit. "Yes."

  "Me too."

  "Good. " I hugged her briefly next to me, and then I got up. "Now, we'd better get back before Raul leaves."

  Mabel grimaced. "I hadn't thought of that."

  "You first. I'll be out in a little while."

  "No, you better go first,"she corrected. "Boys are always faster in the bathroom than girls."

  "That's because they never wash their hands."

  We both gagged a little bit at that truth, but I left the stairs and quickly returned to the restaurant first.

  "No, no... no,"Elijah said as I slid into the cockpit. "The firing doesn't work. Don't deny me, please don't dismiss me. It doesn't even make sense.

  "It's artistic,"Raúl said obstinately.

  "No, Elijah's right,"Ethan stepped in. "It only makes sense if you say," Don't deny me, please don't reject me. " But then it doesn't rhyme.

  "What's going on? " I asked.

  Ethan shrugged, eating a piece of bacon. "Write a song."

  "The hook is just give me a kiss,"Elijah explained.

  But we need the rest of the choir. "He started singing. "It goes, ba bum bum, bum bum bum bum... la da da da..." he continued. " Just give me a kiss"?

  "I'm telling you, the dismissal is good,"Raul argued.

  "Umm... I knocked over the table, thinking for a moment. How about "hang in there"? I volunteered."

  Raul frowned. "That doesn't really rhyme."

  I shrugged my shoulders. "But it would still work,"I played the rhythm again. "There's only one thing in the world, you know I can't resist..."

  Elijah snapped his fingers. "Yes. I think that's good. " He started singing.

  I don't want a lot of money.

  I don't need fortune or fame

  Raul's dubious frown disappeared as he began to sing with Elijah, plunging into harmony in the last measure of each measure.

  Just give me your lips, honey.

  Your touch, a hot flame

  I joined Ethan when we set off.

  There's only one thing in this world

  You know, I can't resist.

  So so-girl-girl...

  Just give me a kiss.

  A little applause resounded in the restaurant and Mabel approached at that moment, a bright smile on her face. "That's incredible! I've never heard it before. Is it something new?"

  I shrugged my shoulders. "We just wrote it. " I tried not to pass it on to us in that statement.

  I failed.

  "I love it,"she said, sitting next to Raul.

  "All right? " he asked, kissing her cheek. "You were away for quite some time."

  Mabel turned red, looking for her coffee. "Yeah. Sure. I'm fine. "She added a Splenda. "Long line in the bathroom. "She added another one.

  "Have you thought of a verse? " I asked, changing the subject. Mabel shot a grateful look at me as Elijah and Raul bowed.

  "Maybe something like this,"Elijah said, beginning to hum.

  I smiled, taking a napkin to scribble the lyrics.

  0

  Mabel and Terri flew home that afternoon, and I had to admit I was sad to see them leave. I said goodbye to them at the hotel because it would have been strange for me to ask them to accompany me to the airport.

  On the bright side, of course, I spent more time alone with Elijah. Roland and Eddie were still hiding in his room, and we didn't have any commitments until we left L.

  A. the next morning. So after saying goodbye, we walked casually through the lobby to the crowded elevator, leaning on opposite walls and pretending not to look at each other.

  Then we walked casually down the aisle with our hands in our pockets.

  We casually scanned both directions before falling into Elijah's room, with his mouths closed.

  And we didn't pick it up so casually where we left off, Elijah - as I promised - throwing me over his shoulder and dragging me to his bed.

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 14 - Take away the pain

  Daisy

  I left Elijah's room in the early morning, knowing that I had to pack and be in my room when the tour bus arrived. So it was with bleeding eyes and slow steps that I followed the bellboy to the elevator just after six o' clock, carrying my backpack on my shoulder. I growled at Ethan when he joined me, and he hit me on the shoulder playfully.

  "What's up, Mini B? " he asked. "You look like shit."

  "Thank you,"I growled, sliding my sunglasses over my eyes.

  "Didn't you sleep well? " He reached into his pocket for a roll of life jackets, beating a couple in their mouths and creaking loudly.

  I looked at him with my eyes, deciding to test Elijah's tactics. "Columbo again, huh?"

  Ethan laughed. "Well, you can always sleep on the bus."

  "Do you think so? " I asked. "I've never been on a tour bus before. I think it would be a little noisy.

  "No,"Ethan replied, chewing on another lifeguard. "It's like a hotel on wheels, man. You'll love it."

  I didn't love it.

  It wasn't that the bus wasn't luxurious, because it definitely was. Twin cream leather sofas flanked a large flat-screen TV with a full surround sound system on the front of the bus. Behind that, a shimmering full kitchen with two mini-fridges, granite countertops and stainless steel appliances ran along a wall in front of a pretty impressive bathroom. A row of bunk beds ran along both sides of the narrow corridor beyond the kitchen, leading to a smaller living room, configured with a second flat screen, video games, a Blu-Ray player and another surround sound system.

  So, yes. The bus was amazing.

  But I shared it with four noisy, smelly boys. For a whole week.

  Don't get me wrong. I loved the band... in their own rooms. Where I didn't have to smell her dirty socks, and find her wasted underwear on the floor, and discover her unwashed gifts left for me in the bathroom...

  Yeah. I know. Disgusting.

  And apparently I had to thank Elijah. The coastal tour was his idea. He had suggested to Cecil that it would be good for the band to get back in touch with their roots.

  Play some scuba diving on the road as we drove to Seattle... small places with the minimum promotion... and not 4-square...

  Elijah had been pretty adamant about that part. But I was glad, too. The only thing that would have made the journey even more infernal would have been to have J. J. hanging around here.

  Cecil, of course, was flying to Seattle. I was probably sitting by a pool while I sat between Raul and Roland while they played Call of Duty. A team of cameramen was capturing it all for an MTV documentary... or Rockumentary. You still call them that? I wasn't sure. Anyway, the cameras were following us day after day after day, so I had to be "on" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There's no time for Daisy. There's no time for Elijah. There are no breaks from my stupid Hartmann bandage, except at night in my little litter with the curtain closed.

  And on top of that, I had started my period.

  Yeah. Are you trying to hide it in a bus full of men?

  Mabel brought me supplies - thank God, I couldn't get into Thriftway to buy tampons and Midol these days - and I kept them with me in my backpack all the time. My Daisy Secret backpack, where I kept all the things I never let anyone else see.

  Like tampons... and birth control pills... (I don't know who was more excited about it, me or Elijah)... and my real identification. in case I died or something. I figured if the truth came out after my death, it wouldn't matter who found out.

  My Daisy bag was filling up quite a bit lately, with the addition of my sexy lingerie and the high heels that Elijah loved. And now he had a lock on him after Raul grabbed him one day, looking for a lighter.r />
  That was close. I was pretty sure that my scream that I needed to "stay out of my shit, and why he wouldn't quit anyway because it's so bad for his health" probably left him scars for life. Elias simply smiled with a smile and lit his own cigarette, handing Raul his lighter without saying a word.

  Raul thought I was crazy. And very anti-smoking.

  At least that kept him out of my purse. And now he's never, ever been out of my sight.

  Never ever.

  I wasn't sure what would happen next time we flew somewhere. Would the TSA agents arrest you for a pair of heels?

  It could be a problem. I'll have to leave them behind when we leave Seattle.

  Elijah would be crushed.

  I looked at him on the other couch, looking back and playing a guitar tune. He was also irritable, and couldn't blame PMS for his mood.

  Well, I couldn't either... at least not officially.

  No. Elijah just had an old-fashioned case of blueballitis. And he wasn't happy either.

  He hit a chord. "How much longer are we gonna be on this damn bus? " he snarled.

  "This was your idea in the first place,"I replied grumpyly.

  Elijah just looked with his eyes closed in response. I got up and grabbed his guitar, playing a few idle chords as I sat at the opposite end of the couch. His eyes narrowed as he hummed a tune that had been chasing me since we got on the bus.

  "What's that? " Elijah asked.

  I shrugged my shoulders, singing a few lines.

  The walls are closing up.

  Pain is too much to bear.

  Like knives buried inside me

  Lost in dark despair

  The darkness falls on me

  So dark, I can't see

  No sun at dawn

  Just take away the pain

  Just take away the pain

  I struck a bitter chord, and I slammed my fingers against the strings, returning the guitar to Elijah. He blinked in surprise, and I turned around to see Roland and Raul using the same expression.

  "Wow,"Raul said. "That's…intense. "He cleared his throat. "Maybe a little excitement for a band of boys? "He seemed a little scared for some reason."