Boys Club: How Far Would You Go?

by Ema Bancroft

  "But..." I hesitated, distrusted to put my thoughts into words. I looked at the boys, who were having a heated debate about something or other, and went back to Ruby. "What if it's not enough?"

  Ruby smiled, touching my arm as she rose. "That's enough."

  Elijah's eyelids fluttered and I bowed to whisper in his ear.

  "Come back, honey. " I encouraged him. "I can't do this on my own, you know."

  E. C.

  "Elijah? A silent voice approached me from somewhere far away. Why was it so dark?

  "Elijah? Wake up. " I blinked and the blur went away. I realized I was lying on something hard and cold.

  A flat.

  What the fuck is going on?

  "Wha-? What's going on here? "I turned my head, just to realize that I was surrounded by Daisy and the kids... and lights... and cameras."

  Shit. Today's show.

  "What happened? " I sat up suddenly, then I had to hold on with my hands while a wave of dizziness hit me. I shook my head to clear the stains and trembled back to my seat.

  "Friend. You passed out. " Ethan laughed, and I looked at him with my eyes.

  "I didn't faint."

  "Um, like you did,"Daisy corrected quietly.

  "Shit. " I looked up at her. "On camera?"

  She nodded, biting her lip.

  "Shit,"I said again.

  Then everything came back to me. Daisy. The baby. No, the babies.

  Threesomes.

  Damn three babies. Right now.

  Holy shit!

  My heart began to beat strongly, and I heard a loud hissing sound. It took me a moment to realize it was my own breath.

  "Elijah? Daisy said, frowned and worried. "Breathe, honey. You're gonna hyperventilate."

  "We' re..."Trousers"... having..."Trousers"... triplets..."?"

  "All right."

  "I don't feel so good..."?

  "Jerry, could you get me a paper bag, please? " I followed the voice to see Ruby Fisher greeting a floor manager.

  The boy ran and groped through a drawer, producing a wrinkled paper bag. Ruby grabbed him and came up to me.

  "All right,"she said. "Just breathe in the bag. " I took it from her, reminding her absently of all the times she had fainted in my presence.

  Oh, the irony.

  I grabbed the wrinkled paper, trying to stabilize my breathing as Daisy looked at me carefully. She inhaled with me, matching my breaths, and I wondered if she had realized that I was doing it.

  He made me smile.

  After a minute, the dizziness receded and I tried to sort out my thoughts. "Shit, the interview."

  Ruby waved a hand. "All right. " We'll clear everything up in half an hour when you act. The next segment is live at the port of Hyannis, so you don't have to rush out of here. Take your time. " She got up and started walking away. "By the way, congratulations."

  I winked a little. "Thank you."

  The boys murmured their congratulations and mocked me about the damn blackout as they headed into the locker room to prepare for the outdoor performance. Finally, it was just Daisy and I who came off the set.

  "Are you all right? " she asked.

  "I think so."

  she sighed. "I'm sorry."

  "What for?"

  She shrugged. "For multiple births in my family?"

  "Yes. You could have mentioned that. " I laughed, but Daisy looked miserable, so I reached for her, pulling her over my lap. "I'm not upset about the babies."

  "Aren't you?"

  "No,"I said. "It took me by surprise, that's all. It'll be fucking awesome."

  "Do you think so?"

  "Sure. We're going to have an advantage in the new band. I smiled, and Daisy slapped my arm, turning her eyes.

  "You're not gonna put my kids in a boy band."

  "Why not? " I crossed my arms defiantly. "There's nothing wrong with boy bands."

  "Maybe they want to be serious musicians,"she argued. "Or maybe you want to be doctors... or lawyers"?

  "God forbid,"I muttered. "No son of mine is going to be a fucking lawyer."

  Daisy raised a funny eyebrow. "What if they're girls?"

  I smiled but didn't say anything.

  "Oh no. " Daisy shook her head. "No way."

  "Why not? " I shrugged my shoulders.

  "It was good enough for you."

  "We're not gonna dress my daughters up as boys to be the next 5Point!"

  "It wouldn't be 5 points. " I really tried not to smile. "There's only one and a half points."

  "Thank God for that!"

  "Maybe... 6Pack?"

  "Elijah!"

  "8-Ball"?

  "No!"

  "I know! I know! " I couldn't hold my laughter anymore. Daisy's lips were squeezed in response. I paused to see the effect, extending my hands with a flourish. "10Q!"

  "10Q? " Daisy frowned. "What does that mean?"

  I went on as if I hadn't heard it. "You can end every show with 10Q, Seattle! 10Q, New York!"

  "Oh my God. " Daisy moaned, covering her eyes with her hands.

  "10Q, Albuquerque!"

  "My kids aren't playing Albuquerque!"

  We laughed, looking into each other's eyes and I realized once again how lucky I was.

  "Of course,"I muttered, throwing it at my chest. "If we're going to have ten, we'll need to be busy."

  "Elijah,"she laughed. "We're not having ten children."

  "All right. " I stroked her back, playing with the ends of her hair. "8-Ball."

  "Elijah!"

  We were silent for a moment, and I finally realized that the crew was returning to their position. "We'd better go,"I said. "I have to get ready for the show."

  We got up, put our hands together as we left the studio.

  "Are you really okay... for the babies? "Daisy asked quietly. I pulled her towards me, squeezing my lips to her temples.

  "Yes. I'm fine,"I assured her. "Our kids are gonna be fucking awesome."

  "You'll have to clean your language with them,"she said.

  "Yes. I suppose so. " I sighed. "Shit. What do I know about being a father? " I muttered, half alone.

  "You'll make a great father."

  "Do you think so? " She nodded. "Well, you'll make an amazing mother."

  "I'm a little scared,"she admitted.

  I stopped in the dark hallway, turning to her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Me too. " I smiled. "But we can do it, honey. I got your back."

  She smiled, and it was like the sun rising from behind the clouds. "I love you,"she said.

  "I love you, too. More than you think."

  I kissed her gently before I entered the locker room.

  When the door opened, something crossed the room. Daisy vomited a hand to grab her, but it failed, and bounced off the floor to stop at her feet.

  "Mini B! Ethan screamed. "Just a little something for old time's sake."

  Daisy bowed and picked up what Ethan had thrown away, and laughed when she saw what it was. She offered it to me, her eyes shining.

  A rubber penis.

  "Shit, Ethan,"I complained and gave it back to him. He stabbed him in the back of the head and screamed.

  He deserved it. Bastard.

  Daisy simply stepped behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him on the cheek and said,"Better keep it to yourself, E-Dog. It looks like an update.

  We all howl with laughter and prepare for the show.

  And I realized that no matter how much things change, some things... the best things... always stay the same...

  Chapter 18

  Outtake: Baby, Be Mine

  E. C.

  "And five, six, seven, eight!"

  Ethan started with the rhythmic line. "Ba doo doop... ba doo doo doo doop. "Ba da da da dee dee dee da doo doop..."?

  Roland jumped with the rhythm out of the ordinary. "Dum dee dee dee dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah..."

  Raul with high harmony. "Whee…eeeeee…. ahhhhhhhhh... ooooh
hhhhhh... bayyy... bee, baby, be mine..."?

  And finally, it was my turn.

  From the first day I saw you

  I knew I had to ask you

  You stole my heart and took it on the way

  And now that I've got you

  I really want to keep you

  To love you forever and a day-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

  The boys approached a tight harmony, jumping-jumping-spin with me as I started the chorus. A cappella wasn't our thing, but Mabel assured me Daisy would love it.

  Baby, be mine (be mi-i-i-ine)

  Always be mine (be mi-i-i-ine)

  I can't live without you, honey.

  No, there's no way

  Baby, give me a signal (a si-i-i-ign)

  Just throw me a line.

  Oh baby, be my baby until the end of time

  I approached the chair as the boys knelt in low oooohs, falling to one knee as Mabel suggested.

  Or perhaps tidy would be a better word.

  I'll be the happiest guy in the world

  If you say you'll always be my girl

  The boys kept the atmosphere buzzing and I took a deep breath and started my speech well rehearsed. I didn't want to stutter or curse, so Mabel made me practice over and over again.

  And on top of that.

  I cleared my throat. "Daisy, from the first time I saw you, I knew you'd be a part of my life. I didn't know exactly how, but I knew you'd be important.

  "That's when you pause,"Mabel said. "Look deeply into her eyes."

  I keep my gaze fixed, my sincere expression. "I love you more than I ever thought possible, and I can't imagine spending my life without you. " I reached into my pocket, pulling the ring out and holding it between two fingers so that the light would shine on the shiny surface.

  "I want to love you forever,"I said, feeling a knot in my throat from the words. "Marry me, please?"

  The murmur stopped behind me and from a blow, all I could hear was my own shallow breaths and the pounding in my chest.

  Then, a sharp scream... and a hug that almost hit my ass.

  "Yes!"

  I smiled, standing up despite the arms and legs around me. "Umm... I appreciate the enthusiasm, Mabel"?

  She laughed, her feet falling to the ground as she let go of me. "Sorry, I got a little carried away. " She smiled, winking at Raul. "They were great. Daisy is going to die absolutely!"

  "I hope not,"I said, unable to get the smile off my face. "A little bit defeated the purpose, don't you think?"

  Mabel shook her head, hitting me on the arm harder than anyone of her size should have been able to. I rubbed the stain absently. She bit her lip, her eyes dropping into the ring still in her hand.

  "May I? " she asked. "Just one more time?"

  I rolled my eyes, I showed her. "Take your time."

  She yelled again, sliding it on her finger. It was a bit big, but she raised her hand anyway, admiring the square cut rock with a dreamy smile on her face. A sound of nerve asphyxiation behind me caught her eye, and she squinted at Raul, whom I had to admit looked a little green.

  "Relax, big chicken,"I was joking. "Her eyes turned to the ring again, distracted for a moment before continuing. "... doesn't mean I'm ready to walk down the aisle myself."?

  Raul forced a dull look on his face and crossed it, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I'm not worried."

  "Uh huh," she said skeptically, returning the ring to me. Raul tried not to look relieved.

  He failed a little.

  "Men,"Mabel snarled, turning her eyes, but she tiptoed up and kissed Raul sweetly.

  "So tomorrow night's the night, huh? " Ethan said with a smile, smiling at me, hitting me on the other shoulder.

  Shit. I was gonna get bruises everywhere if this didn't stop.

  "Are you sure you're ready for this? " he asked. "It's a big step. Tied up for life. Balls on a vise. A girl till you die, man. " He put his fingers around his throat, crossed his eyes and pulled out his tongue in jokes.

  Roland pushed him. "Leave him alone, you fool,"he whispered. "Just because you're afraid of commitment doesn't mean everyone should be."

  "Ethan responded defensively. "I like to keep my options open."

  I smiled with a grimace. "What does Terri have to say about that?"

  Ethan paled. "You're not gonna tell Terri I said that, are you? " His voice broke a little bit.

  "Now, whose balls are on a vise?"

  Mabel applauded. "If we end today's Testosterone Talk episode, can we get back to the work we're about to do? " Without waiting for anyone to respond, she reached into her purse and pulled out a bunch of papers. "I made copies of the schedule Elijah wrote for tomorrow night to get everyone ready. Roland, you talked to your friend about the limo, right?"

  "He'll be ready."

  "And Ethan, do you have the champagne from that wine rep?"

  "It's already in Elijah's fridge."

  "That means you'll have to bring it with you tomorrow night,"she said. "I'll take care of putting a bottle in the limo, but you'll have to take the other one to the A60."

  I had arranged to rent the salon on the roof of the Thompson Hotel. Outdoors it seemed risky at this time of year in New York, but the hotel manager arranged for a canopy and heaters to be installed discreetly around the space to make sure we were warm and dry.

  "I've got it under control,"I said to Mabel, reviewing the program, even though I already had it in my memory. "I really appreciate your help. I know everyone has their own shit they'd rather be doing on Valentine's Day.

  They were all making derogatory noises and Raul said,"It's nothing, man. We all know you'd do the same for us.

  "Yes,"Ethan added. "Besides, Terri thinks it's romantic."

  "Really? " I didn't think Terri was the romantic type.

  "Fuck, yeah. She thinks I'm sweet and sensitive. The best preliminaries in history".

  Mabel frowned. "You know you're a pig, right?"

  Ethan shrugged, didn't deny it.

  "You all right, man? " Roland asked me quietly. "You seem a little nervous. You know she'll say yes, right?"

  I nodded slightly.

  "I don't want to ruin this."

  "Relax, Elijah,"said Mabel with a smile as Raul threw an arm over her shoulder, pulling her to give her a kiss on the top of her head. "We've thought of everything. Daisy's gonna get dragged down. It'll be perfect, I promise."

  I took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

  Mabel was right. We had planned for tonight a minute away.

  What could go wrong?

  Final Schedule for Elijah & Daisy's Great Night

  5:00pm - The limousine picks up Daisy - Mabel to coordinate

  Daisy

  I had just come out of the shower when a knock on my door reminded me that I was running late.

  "Shit,"I muttered, wrapped in a robe and rubbing a towel over my hair as I ran barefoot to answer.

  Mabel was hopeful on the other side, her eyes widened in my apparition.

  "You're not ready,"she said.

  "I know, I know,"I replied in frustration. "I got stuck in traffic, and then my mother called from Bali or Borneo or somewhere - I can't remember - and you know how it is, and I had to take a shower because I spilled coffee...".

  Mabel raised a hand. "There's no time for excuses,"she said. "We have a schedule to keep, so you just put on some clothes so we can go."

  "But what should I wear? " I asked, a hint of a whimper in my voice. "Can't you give me a hint?"

  Mabel only spoiled by opening her lips and throwing away the key. I frowned, snorting back and stepping into my room.

  "You know Elijah wants this to be a surprise,"she said as I threw jeans and a T-shirt. "He's been planning this for weeks."

  I nodded. I did know that. I told him I didn't need a big problem for Valentine's Day, but he was so determined to make it special... so excited about the idea?

  So fucking adorable....

  I smiled, remembering his
eager expression.

  Yeah. I hated surprises, but I loved him. And I couldn't take this away from him. He still felt bad about the whole "I love you"thing, though it was perfect and I told him repeatedly that it was one of my most precious memories...

  I didn't understand that being with him made me feel special.

  As we had gone out in public as a couple, he had set out to make the experience as normal as possible, with a first date, a first kiss, an official first sleepover - it was really fun, by the way. And although we were quite inseparable and spent as much time in my apartment as we did in his, we had not crossed the line of official coexistence.

  We were taking it easy... just going out and being in love. It was quite wonderful, actually, but lately I've been acting a little strange, and I suspected I might want to move on. I thought he was ready to ask me to move in with him, and that - like everything else in our relationship - he wanted me to be special...

  Actually, he could have thrown an extra key at me and I would have been happy, but Elijah was always one for the big gestures. Most people might have thought of him as a soft lady's man, but he was actually the sweetest, most romantic guy I had ever met.

  Of course, he tried to play casually. He said that since it was our first Valentine's Day as a couple - a boy/girl couple, official and everything - he just wanted it to be something to remember. But I couldn't help but wonder if it was something else.

  Especially since Mabel was involved.

  Which scared the hell out of me. The woman had no control. I looked her in the corner of my eye as she tied my shoes. She stood, arms folded, her foot pounding impatiently as she looked at her watch.

  "Ready? " she asked impatiently as I stood, grabbing my jacket.

  "As I always will be,"I said with a sigh, Mabel turning her eyes in response. She joined her arm with mine, dragging me a little bit.

  Okay, more than a little. She was actually stronger than she looked.

  "Don't be so hard on the mud,"she said. "You're gonna love it. I promise."

  I took a deep breath, deciding to make the most of it, despite my nervousness. "You're right. I'm being stupid. " I smiled. "Take me away."

  Mabel smiled with a smile. "That's the spirit."

  5:30pm - Spa of pampering and other assorted beauty stuff Shit

  (Not that Daisy needs it, but what the fuck.)

  "No way."