Boys Club: How Far Would You Go?

by Ema Bancroft

  Dah-rool.

  The only thing that kept me from jumping on him and dragging him to the ground was my burning kitty cat. She wasn't a happy camper.

  He was going to kill Mabel.

  I was shaking a little, anxious to get into the bathroom as we rode to the roof of the Thompson. Elijah and I had been on the A60 a couple of times since that first time after the party when I was still "Tim", and he knew it was one of my favorite places. The views of the city were incredible, and the rooftop lounge was almost magical in quality with its soft lighting and lush vegetation.

  I glowed a little bit, rubbing my thighs, then winking and pulling them, unable to feel comfortable.

  "Are you all right? " Elijah asked, gently rubbing the top of my arm. "You seem distracted."

  "I'll be fine once I get to the bathroom,"I replied, pulling the hem of my short skirt.

  Elijah's eyes caught the movement. "Did I mention I really like that dress?"

  "He asked lobeando, leaning toward my hair, his free hand crawling down my thigh slightly. I sighed because I felt so incredibly well, and I could feel him laughing in my hair as his fingers slipped under the hem of my dress, caressing my skin.

  "Elijah..." I cried, dizzy and a little unstable. His arm squeezed around my waist as his fingers moved higher, his warm breath tickled my ear. Without thinking about it, I put my hips in his touch... gasping for pain as I gently rubbed my underwear.

  "Shit! " I exclaimed, stumbled against the wall and walked away from his fingers.

  "What? What's going on?"

  "Um..." My face warmed up while I was pulling on my dress. "I…uh…"

  The elevator shuddered, and I looked at the brilliant numbers in relief. "We're here! "I said brilliantly. "I don't want to get caught by the staff, do I? "I laughed too loudly, and as I opened the doors, I pulled Elijah out of the living room. "I wouldn't want to be arrested for lascivious conduct on Valentine's Day,"I babbled. "It would be very embarrassing. "I bit my lip as Elijah stared at me as if I could start moving from side to side at any moment, banging my head against the wall."

  I felt that might be a good option.

  "The bathroom! "I exclaimed, moaning at my shrieking tone as I saw the door of my safe haven. "I'll just uh..."I flinched nervously, pointing at the door, then at myself and then back to the door.

  What the hell was wrong with me?

  "I'll be right back,"I muttered, rushing to the bathroom and wobbling over my high heels as I tried to keep my legs apart and not break an ankle in the process.

  It was harder than you think.

  I breathed a sigh of relief once I entered the ladies' room security, never even stopped to admire the sophisticated interior. They pulled up my dress, lowered my panties and stained my hands with more balm before the lights blinked.

  Yes. Much better.

  But Mabel was right. Things really smelled horrible. I went to get a bottle of perfume in my purse, squirting a little bit between my legs.

  I thought it wouldn't hurt him.

  After I padded my hair and wiped my fingers under my eyes to clean the eyeliner, I turned around to get out of the bathroom, relieved that I could walk relatively normally.

  At least that's what I thought. I ran into the wall a couple of times on my way to find Elijah. I could've been a little more tipper than I thought.

  When I saw it, my breath was enchanted.

  He was standing next to a small table in the middle of the roof terrace courtyard, surrounded by candles and sparkling lights scattered across the trees along the railing. The light shone from the reflections in what was left of his hair, and it caught my attention, smiling broadly and making my stomach fall out.

  Would it always affect me like this?

  I walked to meet him, moving slowly on my precarious heels, and only later I noticed that we were all alone.

  "Isn't there anyone else here? " I asked.

  Elijah shook his head. "I rented the whole living room. It's just us. Well, and the staff. " He reached out his hand, pulling at me against him and kissing me sweetly. "Happy Valentine's Day. I love you."

  I smiled against his lips, never tired of hearing him say the words. "I love you, too."

  "Come on,"he said, backing up and pulling out a chair. "Let's eat."

  9:00pm - Dinner

  10:00pm - Dessert and musical surprise

  E. C.

  Everything was going so well.

  Dinner was amazing. The chef prepared this incredible beef - so tender that you didn't even need to chew it - with mashed potatoes with cheese and grilled vegetables.

  It's not like I could eat a lot, because I was so nervous.

  It was nice to see Daisy enjoy it. She hummed and whimpered almost erotically over the food until I had to settle under the table. We had some wine, but the food seemed to help, and Daisy was a little more sober - even with bright, smiling eyes, but less unstable at her feet.

  She had to get up a couple of times to go to the bathroom. Last time a little more than usual. I was hoping she wouldn't get sick, but when she came back, she seemed relaxed and comfortable, kissing me gently before sitting down again in front of me.

  And she seemed to have no idea what she was going to do. I put the ring in my pocket for the billionth time, my eyes running towards my watch and then towards the door where I knew the boys would be waiting for me...

  It's almost time.

  "Oh, my God, you have to try this,"she complained about her dessert, licking the chocolate off the fork.

  "I'm not very hungry,"croaked, got scared and scared at the same time.

  She smiled. "Just one bite,"she said, holding a piece of dark chocolate cake towards me. "I swear, it's an orgasm on a plate."

  I laughed, opening my mouth.

  "Oh, wait! " she said, sliding it through the plate. "You need some sauce."

  She smiled as I wrapped my lips around the fork, the decadent dessert soft and rich in my tongue.

  "You're right, that's good,"I said, licking my lips. Her eyes darkened and she smiled at me with a mischievous smile.

  "Is it time to go now? " she asked breathlessly.

  "Almost,"I said. "One more thing first..."

  Her eyes widened suddenly. "Shit,"she muttered, looking into her lap.

  "What's going on?"

  "Uh..." she moved in her seat. "I can't feel my..."Her face blushed, and she didn't see my eyes."

  "Don't you feel what?"

  She leaned over the table and lowered her voice, though there was no one else around. "My kitten."

  "What?"

  "She's totally numb,"she said in a panic whisper. "I can't feel it at all."

  I was lost. "Um, maybe he just... fell asleep?"

  "Your vagina doesn't fall asleep, Elijah!"

  I tried not to get excited about her saying the word "pussy,"but it was hard. Little Henry took heart in interest.

  "I think I used too much foot ointment,"she said distractedly.

  "Save feet"?

  She turned her eyes like I was an idiot. "It's not foot ointment. Smells like feet."

  "And you put this in your pussy? " I pulled my neck out, all of a sudden a little hot.

  "Help with the burning."

  "Umm... why does your cunt burn? "Why was I burning? I touched my sweaty brow with my napkin.

  "Because of waxing,"Daisy said, jumping back and forth in her seat, probably trying to wake her sleeping kitten.

  I drowned, looking for my water and drinking it thirsty. Did I really feel... weird?

  "Did you wax... down there...? "I couldn't help but notice little Enrique's interest in that, even though it was hard to breathe."

  "Concentrate, Elijah! " She hissed, completely maddened. "I can't feel my kitten. Something's wrong!"

  "Yes..." I muttered, my tongue thick in my mouth. " Something's wrong..."?

  And I fell to the floor.

  "Elijah!"

  10:15pm - Move!

  Ask the question! />
  SEAL THE DEAL!

  Daisy

  I leapt to my feet, my numb forgotten hoohah, and ran to Elijah's side...

  just to trip over those godforsaken heels and twist my ankle.

  "Shit! " I gasped, falling to my knees and crawling to Elijah, my tight dress restricting my movements to a kind of kneepads. I rubbed my sore ankle, but my biggest concern was Elijah.

  "Elijah? I reached his face, which had grown considerably larger. "What's the matter, honey? What's going on? " I turned to shout,"Help! Somebody help me! " hoping the waiter was close enough to hear me.

  I was perplexed a moment later when we were surrounded not only by the waiter and the hotel manager... but also by Roland, Raul and Ethan... as well as Eddie, Terri and Mabel...

  "What are you all doing here?"

  They all spoke at the same time.

  "What happened?"

  "What's going on?"

  "We just wanted to watch."

  "Look at what? "We're having dinner? " I was confused and frantic at the same time.

  "Never mind,"Mabel said, waving a hand. "Why is Elijah swollen?"

  "I don't know. Somebody call an ambulance!"

  Roland pulled out a cell phone and Raul fell to his knees beside me. Elijah grabbed me by the hand and sat down.

  "Aaahhhmm…AAAhhhrrr…jick."

  "What are you saying? " Ethan asked. "Does that sound like' in my dick'? Is there anyone in his dick?"

  I turned my eyes. Clearly no one was on Elijah's dick. I checked to make sure there was no damage in that area, but it seemed okay. The rest of Elijah, however, was pink and flew like a balloon. His lips moved over his face as he shook Ethan's head.

  "No,"corrected Raul. " I think he said,"I'm allergic. " Elijah nodded in agreement. "Do you have an epinephrine pen?"

  Elijah shook his head.

  "He must have left it at home. It doesn't matter, anyway. We shouldn't use it unless we know for sure what's wrong. I looked at Roland, who just got off the phone.

  "The ambulance will be here in a minute. The hospital is just around the corner."

  "Maybe we should sit him down,"someone suggested.

  "No, you must lie down."

  "Does anyone have a pen? We may need to track it. We all looked at Ethan, who obviously watched too much of Grey's anatomy.

  He shrugged. "It's just an idea."

  "I don't understand. " I said, brushing a finger over Elijah's swollen cheek. "He's only allergic to shellfish and strawberries. We didn't have any of that.

  The voices around me stumbled as Elijah coughed and whistled, muttering something I could not distinguish.

  "Shut up, everybody! " I cried out, panic and fear whipped me. When they were silent, I bowed.

  "What, honey? What's that?"

  "AAhhhbbb…mmbbbbb…"

  "I can't understand it,"I said weakly.

  "I think he said,' Oh, boy,'" Ethan offered his help.

  "No, it was "Ah, damn it!"

  "Maybe Abba?"

  "Like the queen of dance Abba"? Why the fuck would I say that?"

  "Don't ask me."

  Elijah tried again. "Aaaaaahhhhhhh.... mmooooobbbbbbbbbbbbb...."

  "Does it sound like... All Man...?" "I said, confused. "No… almonds! Almonds! Are you allergic to almonds, too? "Elijah nodded frantically and I turned to the waiter. "Was there almonds in that dessert?"

  The waiter shook his head. "No... it was a flourless chocolate cake with a layer of espresso mousse and a light white chocolate ganache, sprinkled with..."?

  I cut it off. "But what's inside?"

  He hesitated. "Eggs... eggs, chocolate, sugar, of course... some cream in the ganache..."?

  "None of that should cause any trouble."

  "and brandy in caramel sauce. Actually, I think the chef said he tried something different tonight. Amaretto instead of brandy... and a little cocoa powder..."?

  "Wait a second,"interrupted Roland. "Did you say amaretto? " As I nodded, Roland's jaw tightened.

  "Amaretto is an almond liqueur."

  "Great,"I muttered, holding Elijah's hand. "It's okay, honey. The ambulance is on its way. You'll soon feel better. Try to stay calm.

  Elijah nodded, breathing shallowly in and out.

  A shock at the door caught my attention when a couple of paramedics rushed to the rooftop, placing a stretcher next to them. All the others withdrew as I clung to Elijah's hand and quickly told them what was happening. He was quickly shot with an epinephrine needle and almost immediately, Elijah�s breathing deepened.

  "He'll be fine,"the paramedic said,"but we should beam him up and run some tests to be sure.

  I nodded, taking off my shoes and limping by the gurney as we headed for the elevator.

  E. C.

  Perfect.

  Alone. Fucked up. Perfect.

  I try to create a romantic evening and end up on the floor looking like Fat Monica de Friends... except with much less hair. I raised my hand, staring at my chubby fingers.

  I actually felt pretty good for when we got to the hospital, but the doctor told me it might take some time for all the swelling to go down completely. Fortunately, my tongue and lips were almost normal again, so I could speak well, but my face and arms were pretty swollen.

  "Are you all right? " Daisy walked into my room and leaned on the edge of the hospital bed, tucking her fingers through her hair.

  "Yes,"I replied. "You?"

  She nodded. "The doctor said my ankle is twisted. No plaster, but I'll have to keep it wrapped and use the crutches."

  "And..." I cleared my throat, looking down her lap. What about the numb kitten? "I had to admit, I was a little more worried about Daisy's pussy than my stupid face."

  I really liked that vagina the way it was.

  Daisy blushed, her hands covering her face with shame. I laughed, pulling them, but she didn't look me in the eye.

  "They said it was too much of the balm,"she explained. "I had some kind of numbness, and combined with my perfume I had a strange reaction. They gave me some medicine for that.

  I feel much better now.

  I smiled with relief. "That's good. Where is everybody?"

  "They're gone,"she said. "Once everyone knew you were gonna be okay, they took off."

  "So,"she said, smiling maliciously and spreading beside me in bed. "It's still Valentine's Day..." She checked her watch. "…fifteen minutes. "Did she kiss my neck, licking me a little bit,"celebrating?"

  I put my hand on her back slowly. "Are you sure you're ready?"

  Unfortunately, the nurse came in at that moment, killing the environment. Daisy smiled apologetically and rose from bed, stepping out of the way to check my vital signs and self. V. Daisy limped to the chair and started folding my wrinkled clothes, covering the back of the chair with my jacket.

  "Any pain"? the nurse asked as she felt my pulse.

  "No. I'm fine."

  "Itchy"?

  "No."

  Daisy folded my shirt and tie, placing them on a low table, and grabbed my pants.

  "Any difficulty breathing?"

  "No."

  Daisy shook her pants and a little "jingle" caught her eye, her eyes dropping to the floor.

  Shit.

  "Fatigue"?

  "Huh? " I saw Daisy while I was searching the floor for what had fallen out of my pocket.

  "Do you feel fatigued?"

  "Um…no…"

  Daisy froze, and I knew I'd seen her. She bent down and lifted the ring, staring at it in amazement.

  "Sir. Lynch? " the nurse waved a hand in front of me. "Can you hear me? Do you feel disoriented?"

  "No,"I said quickly, looking at Daisy as she put the pieces together, she still focused on the ring. "Look. I'm fine,"I told the nurse. "Can you give me a minute?"

  The nurse made a little irritated noise, but left the room. I put my hands over my face in frustration.

  "Shit,"I muttered. "I didn't want to ask you this."

  "Elijah? D
aisy held the ring. "Is this what I think it is?"

  I sighed. Of course.

  Of course I would end up proposing myself in a Pillsbury Doughboy-like hospital bed, in a hospital gown with my ass hanging while my girlfriend hung on a swollen ankle with a kitten recovering from a near-death experience.

  It just made sense.

  "Come here, baby,"I said quietly. She came up to me and sat on the edge of the bed. I took the ring off.

  "I wanted it to be perfect,"I said, looking at the ring that reflected the hospital's fluorescent lights. "I had a really great plan..."

  "It was incredible,"Daisy interrupted encouragingly. "I mean, dinner was so good, and the place was beautiful... and the champagne..."?

  I chuckled. "Yeah, except for the stupid haircut, the numb pussy and the broken ankle..."

  "It's just a sprain."

  "Sprain, correct. "And the ambulance, and the fact that I look like the fucking Michelin man."

  "Michelin man is sexy."

  Arch one eyebrow.

  "What? "She said with a smile. "All that padding... and you know that man knows how to change a tire. It's hot."

  I laughed, unable to resist her.

  "I love you,"I finally said. "I love you, and I want to be with you forever. Even when crazy things happen to us, and you know it will.

  She laughed as her eyes filled with tears. "I thought you were gonna ask me to move in with you."

  I smiled. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. Let me make you an honest woman."

  I went ahead, swallowing hard. "I don't think we ever have a normal life,"I said.

  "Who needs the normal?"

  "It's gonna be noisy and crazy... and there'll probably be photographers chasing us and fans outside our house."

  "We'll get a dog."

  I smiled, reaching down to touching her cheek. "I don't know how I was so lucky,"I whispered. "I don't know what I did to deserve you to come into my life.

  "But baby, I never want you to quit. " I looked her in the eye, the ring on the fingertip. "Will you marry me?"

  Her face lit up with a radiant smile. "I thought you'd never ask."

  I slipped the ring on her finger and sat down, kissing her in her tears. Grasping her face on my palms, I leaned back a little bit. "That's a yes, isn't it?"

  She nodded, laughing. "Oh, yes. Definitely yes."

  "Just checking. " And I bowed to kiss her again.