Never Say Never Again

by A. E. Easterlin

  “Like you and Grandma had?”

  Dropping his hand, he leaned back in his recliner with a faraway look in his eyes. “I wanted that woman something fierce. Right up until the day she died. Still do.”

  Old sweet yearning came over his face and choked his voice. Her grandfather and grandmother had acted like lovers until she died. Maddie’d had proof that kind of love existed, and if she was honest, she wanted it for herself.

  His eyes closed, and Maddie quietly rose and left him to his memories. That night she dreamed of a strong man with gray eyes standing close behind her with his steadying hand on her waist. Leaning back against him, she felt a peace she had never before known. All was right with her world.

  The next morning dawned bright and clear. A perfect day for a ride. Maybe wipe some of the cobwebs from her brain. All this talk about the Branch brothers and the possibility of her dating one of them had her restless. Despite the peace she’d felt, all night long she had tossed and turned in her bed while images of Gideon winking and tipping his hat to her as he left Loretta’s wove in and out of her dreams.

  “Pap,” Maddie called from the back door, “I’m headed out to the barn. Thought I’d saddle up King and take him for a short ride. You need anything before I go?”

  “Nope. I’m good—that horse of mine could use some exercise. God knows, I wish I could come. That’s one of the things I miss most about getting old—riding fence on King. Don’t hurry back. Take the morning and enjoy yourself.”

  “Thanks. If you get hungry, I made sandwiches and left them in the fridge, along with fresh lemonade. No beer. One drink a day is what Doc said you could have, and I’m going to make sure you follow his orders. Got me?” She leaned over and kissed the top of his head.

  “Got you, girl. Though at my age, I don’t see it matters one bit what I eat or drink,” Pap groused.

  “Yeah, well, I do. I want you with me for years and years, so what the good doctor says, goes.”

  “Get on out of here. I’ve got a date with a Zane Grey shoot-em-up today, and I don’t want to be interrupted.” He picked up the paperback and kicked out the footrest on his recliner.

  “Okay.” Maddie laughed. If he was going to get into one of his favorite books, he wouldn’t be getting in any trouble. She and King could take their time. She had some thinking to do, and there was no better place than on the back of the handsomest Palomino in the county.

  Maddie had loved that horse from the day he was foaled. Some of her fondest memories were those of her grandfather riding strong and tall in the saddle of the dark golden horse with the pure white mane and tail.

  Calling softly as she entered the barn, she approached his stall. His beautiful head popped over the top slat of the door, and he whinnied in welcome, flicking his ears forward and blowing his pleasure.

  “Hey, there, old boy,” Maddie crooned softly as she stroked his velvet nose and pulled a slice of apple from her jeans. “Thought I’d break you out of your cell for the morning. How does that sound? You okay with that?” The palomino inhaled the apple from her flattened palm with a bob of his handsome head.

  Maddie laughed, grabbed a blanket and his tack, and saddled the horse while he impatiently nudged her arm. “Ready to go, huh, fella? Me too. I could use some quality time with a good friend. How about you?”

  She patted his neck as they left the barn, and mentally took note of all the repairs that needed to be done. The chicken coop needed a rebuild. The main house needed a roof. Even the garage had seen better days. This place had gotten to be too much for Pap—too much for her. But it was home. A lot of love had lived there through the years. If she intended to stay—which she did—she needed to find a way to cover the repairs and pay for a couple of hands—she needed money.

  How to get it was the dilemma.

  They wouldn’t sell acreage. That was a no-brainer. She doubted she could swing a loan—banks tended to refuse to lend money to unemployed schoolteachers. Pap had a little put back, but she had no clue how much. A heavy sigh purged her lungs. Maybe she could give riding lessons, or find part-time work so she could stay with Pap for half a day and work the remainder. Something, anything to bring in a little cash.

  As King left the ranch behind, Maddie settled into the rhythm of the ride. The horse seemed to be waiting for something as they loped along. Like he expected her to open her heart and let loose the things she had on her mind.

  Animals were smarter than most people gave them credit for. King had heard all about Harrison in those first days back on the ranch. She’d swear from the look in his knowing eyes he’d understood every word. At the least, it helped to get out the bitterness and poison, flush the disappointment and humiliation from her system.

  “So,” she began, petting the Palomino’s golden neck, “Pap’s come up with the bright idea to find me a man. Says it’s time I got over Harrison. Guess it’s time I put my bitterness to rest. What do you think, boy? Should I forgive and forget?”

  The Palo blew and nodded his head as if he answered her question.

  Maddie laughed. “Yeah, me too. He’s right. I do need to put the past behind me. I’m tired of being angry all the time. Harrison could have handled things better, but I think he waited so long out of a desire to spare my feelings, and wound up hurting me even more. I don’t want to hate him. I can’t hate him. Truth is, he was my best friend, and I miss him. I’m lonely, King, and sometimes the loneliness hurts worse than the betrayal.

  “When we split, I came running home to you and Pap. I lost myself for a while. But now that I’m better, the shelter of home isn’t enough. I need more—right, fella? A boyfriend. A little fun. A life. A job. Lord knows, we could use the money. But what about Pap? What about all this?” She gestured to the rolling foothills and endless blue sky.

  “How can I do both? I have to face facts. We can’t afford to hire, but we need at least two ranch hands. In spite of what he claims, Pap can’t do what he once could. I don’t see him taking back the day-to-day stuff any time soon, if ever. So what do I do about getting back to work, and leaving him on his own all day, to keep this place afloat?

  “The teaching slots are filled at the school. Leaving the city the way I did, I’m not sure I’d get a recommendation from my old school anyway. I need something with a flexible schedule. Something to tide us over financially and utilize my training with children. I’ve missed kids these last couple of years. Working with them grounded me, made me feel like I was accomplishing something, giving back in some way. Quite a puzzle, right, old friend? God, I wish you could talk.”

  King blew a soft whinny as Maddie paused at the crest of the hill and caught her breath at the scene beneath her. Framed by the clear Wyoming sky and billowy white clouds, the green grasses and rocky promontories formed an endless sea of beauty undulating in gentle winds.

  Boston, schmoston. She never wanted to leave this place. She loved everything about Wyoming. Wide open spaces, vivid colors, the changing seasons. So what could she do? How could she best put her skill set to work in this rural environment and fulfill her responsibilities to Pap?

  Working with kids in the city had been great, but she didn’t really want to teach again. She wanted to ranch.

  “Kids—ranching. How can I put those two together, King, and earn a little money at the same time?”

  The horse shook his head as Maddie giggled, “No suggestions, huh, old friend? Me either.”

  Lifting her face to the sun and breathing the clean, fresh mountain air, she emptied her mind. Inhaled and exhaled, clearing her brain of stress and confusion. She needed this. She’d spent far too long laughing on the outside while crying inside, pretending everything was hunky-dory.

  Writers probably wrote songs for the same reasons a poet penned his thoughts or an artist took brush to canvas—because they contained an element of basic truth, and their hearts left them no choice. Neither did she. It was time to put the “never again” modus operandi to rest. Embrace life. Face the futur
e. Make a plan.

  “Thanks, old boy,” she told King as he snorted and pawed the dirt. “Talking things over with you always did help.”

  The sun was almost overhead, and her tummy growled. Maddie glanced around. Her favorite summer hangout was about thirty yards down the trail. She reined the horse in that direction. A mountain spring fed by late snows cascaded down a slight incline of rock and formed a small pond of cold, pristine water. Maddie could almost hear it calling her.

  Swim. Come and swim in me.

  Never one to question an excellent idea, Maddie turned King from the path and maneuvered him through the trees until she heard the gurgling waterfall. Wanting to give the horse a break while she swam, she drew a hobble from her saddlebag, tied it loosely around his front hooves, and removed the bridle, saddle, and blanket. King could reach the pond, and sweet grass grew at the edge of the clearing. He neighed his thanks and immediately began to chomp on the succulent green meal.

  Maddie glanced around, once, then twice, as she checked for man or beast. “Looks pretty secluded, King. I think it’s safe to skinny dip. Wet clothes don’t sound appealing for the ride back down the mountain, right, boy?” Peeling the sweat-dampened shirt from her shoulders, she shook it and spread it on a low tree branch. Dropping jeans from her hips, she felt a little wicked and giggled. It was her land, after all. Well, hers and Pap’s. No one was around. Safe enough for a quick plunge.

  Wanting no embarrassing surprises, she kept an eagle eye on her surroundings while she tiptoed to the water’s edge. Seeing that it was safe, she gingerly entered the pond and drew in a breath. “Ooh—it’s like ice!—but too wonderful to resist.”

  No point in inching in—the only way was going all the way, all at once. So…she did, and came up squealing, sputtering, and blowing at the shock of freezing water on her heated skin. Goose bumps rose as the breeze blew over her, awakening every nerve ending in her body.

  “Lord have mercy, it’s cold! King, whose idea was this?” she exclaimed. The horse nickered as if agreeing with her. Her exceptional education class back at Boston would love this. Visiting with the livestock, a trail ride up a gentle slope, the waterfall and pond, swimming in the clear, cold water. All of it.

  Why couldn’t they?

  Special needs kids have the same wants and desires as any other children. If only somehow I could share the beauty and peace of this place, let them exercise their constricted muscles, challenge their minds, bring joy to their lives. Let them be ordinary children for a day or a week or two.

  That’s it!

  Ignoring her nudity, she stood straight up in the shallow pond, and shouted to the sky. “I’ve got it. I know what to do. But how do I make it happen?”

  Scrambling from the water, she hastily dried her body, patting with her shirt, and slipped on her clothes. She had to brainstorm with Pap. Together they might be able to figure out a way to make this a reality. He said Harrison had stolen her dreams. The old dream, maybe. But not this. This was a new dream. A better dream. A completely awesome, exciting, inspiring, magnificent dream. And somehow she would find a way to make it come true.

  Quickly saddling King, she nosed him back to the trail. The sooner she put everything down in black and white, the sooner she could act. There was no doubt in her mind Pap would be on board. Maybe she could count on some of the townspeople, friends…even the Branch family. Together, they had the means to underwrite some of the costs, if she could persuade them to invest in her idea. The Lowrys and Branchs had always had a good relationship. Maybe now was the time for the second generation to put that friendship to the test.

  Maddie and King made their way down the small mountain, and when they reached level ground, the horse stretched his legs and galloped for home. She’d take care of her mount first, then sit down with Pap. Tonight she’d research the teaching requirements, work on start-up costs, and come up with a business plan. This summer was quickly passing by, but if things worked out the way she hoped, she could make her idea a reality by next summer.

  “Come on, King. Ride for home, boy. We’ve got people to see, plans to make, and no time to dawdle. He-yah!” Riding full out, Maddie raced for home.

  Home—the place where her dreams had always come true.

  Chapter Five

  Morning brought an opportune time to survey the fence line.

  Gideon saddled Warlock, his black stallion, and headed toward the boundary between the Lowry place and Snowy Branch. Around noon, he was ready to give his leg a rest, and reined the horse toward a secluded spot where he and his brothers often took their girlfriends to cool off…and heat up.

  He grinned. Damn, those were the days. All three of them had been popular, and though he wasn’t proud of the fact, had learned about women and life with many a pretty lady under the sheltering branches of the junipers around the shallow pond.

  The sound of laughter and conversation caused him to halt. A woman’s voice and splashing—she was talking to someone, but he didn’t hear anyone else. He’d heard that voice before; who was it?

  Then it hit him, and he sat back in his saddle. His water sprite was none other than Maddie Lowry. He’d recognize her laughter anywhere. Who was she with? A friend? A man? Not caring for the irritation gnawing at the pit of his belly, he urged his mount closer, dismounted, and crept toward the surrounding brush cover.

  King, Pap’s handsome Palomino, munched contentedly near the edge of the water, a pile of women’s clothes pooled near his feet. Gideon’s gaze narrowed at a woman who innocently played and swam in the clear waters, talking to herself—oblivious to his presence. He should leave her in peace, but the sight was too tempting.

  Her body shone pale beneath the surface, rosy nipples stiff from the cold, teasing the waves her arms made as she cavorted. God, she was a lovely woman. Slim and fit, round where a woman should be round, a goddess. Aphrodite, unaware he watched. Desire sent heat and blood straight to his groin. The men around here must be deaf, dumb, and blind not to have staked a claim.

  She suddenly stood up, and the sight of her took his breath away.

  Mine.

  The ferocity and raw need for possession stole his breath as lust swelled behind his zipper. Blood pounded in his brain until his head ached. This woman with her lush curves, mesmerizing beauty, and mercurial laughter was the woman he wanted. The woman he’d waited for. The woman meant for him. His.

  Maddie.

  If he was careful, if he played his cards right and romanced the hell out of her, was it possible he could have her? She was innocent, skittish like a newborn foal with its first contact outside its mother’s womb. He’d have to take his time. Gentle her. Let her grow accustomed to his presence, find out what she liked, what she wanted—hell, he’d never had a hard time attracting a woman before. Why so uncertain now?

  Maybe because the stakes were so much higher—for everyone involved.

  Determination steeled his mind. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t responded to him—he’d seen the way her pupils dilated when he leaned into her, heard her breath catch in her throat, saw her pulse jump under the delicate skin of her throat. No, she’d been as aware of him as he was of her. He could build on that attraction. Tempt her, court her, win her.

  She must have sensed she was being watched. Her eyes darted over the landscape, and she hurriedly dressed and saddled her horse. Her departure broke the spell, and he reined his horse toward Snowy Range. He needed a plan, a way to convince Maddie to open up to him.

  Once at home, Gideon took care of his horse, shaved and showered, and headed to the Lowrys’ to talk to Pap. He drove the short distance and slowed his truck as he approached the Lowry place. Maddie was nowhere in sight. She could be in the house or the barn, but he didn’t want to postpone the talk with Pap. This agreement was a millstone around his neck. A threat to his future with Maddie. It wasn’t right.

  He’d done a lot of things he wasn’t proud of as a boy. Some he wished he could do over or undo altogether. As a man, he�
��d done his duty. Soldiers didn’t have the luxury of ignoring orders, but he’d bucked the brass a few times when he thought the mission should have been handled differently.

  Sparing civilian lives was the right thing to do in spite of the arguments of some that these innocent children would someday become the very jihadists that the military would have to fight against. Kids were kids—they deserved a chance to make a choice, and he hadn’t enlisted to kill women and children. In the end, that’s what caused him to lose his leg. Saving the brothers in his unit, and protecting a small boy who was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

  Glancing once more at the worn but neatly kept home of Pap Lowry, he wanted to clear the air between them. He wanted Maddie, but going behind her back and working a deal with Pap wasn’t the way to go about it. If he deceived her and she found out, he had no doubt the hope of any relationship with her would go up in smoke.

  Pap would just have to be patient and let him court Maddie. Not that it would be easy. The ranch took every waking minute, with repairs and attending auctions to build the herd. When was he going to find the time to play Prince Charming? Maybe doing a deal for the girl was the best way after all.

  He slowed the Silverado and turned into the driveway. Still no sight of Maddie. Good.

  The screen door slammed, and Pap stepped out on the porch. “Thought I heard the sound of a new truck. Purrs like a kitten, doesn’t she?” the old man asked as he stepped sideways down the four steps to the ground and admired the vehicle.

  “Yeah, she’s a beauty, that’s for sure.”

  “You going to put such a nice ride to work on the ranch, son? Sure would be a shame.” Pap grinned.

  “Oh, and letting Maddie go all over creation in that classic sixty-three isn’t shameful?”