Never Say Never Again

by A. E. Easterlin

  “My smart brain?”

  “Yeah—that one.”

  “You’ve got a date. I need to take care of some things at the ranch, see if I have any messages from Eli or Zack. How does six sound?”

  “Sure, if that’ll give you enough time,” she answered as they pulled up in front of her house. “Pap eats early, but whenever you get there is fine.”

  He parked in front of the house and went around to open her door.

  “Always the gentleman.” She laughed as he unbuckled her belt, his hands lingering at her waist.

  “I’m not feeling very gentlemanly right now,” he replied in a throaty voice, leaving no doubt of his arousal. Sliding her from the truck, he let her body glide down the length of him. His reaction to her soft scent and softer body was no pretense. Everything about her—her beauty, the floral scent of her shampoo, the sensation of her lush body pressed against him—demanded he kiss her.

  “Maddie…” He breathed her name as his head descended. “I want to kiss you.” He gently touched his mouth to hers, letting his tongue trace the fullness of her lips. Coaxing her to open, his tongue plunged in until he felt her yield and tasted the flavor from the soda she’d had at lunch, sweet and tart, entirely delicious. Her lips were warm, clinging as he explored the recesses of her mouth, demanding a response.

  She shivered against him as he persuaded her with his kiss. Wrapping his arms around her, one hand moving up and down her spine, lingering on each bump until he finally palmed her neck, he growled low in his throat and reveled in her answering mewl. He lifted her, fitted her feminine softness to the hard steel of his erection, and ground them together.

  Gideon’s groan vibrated in her mouth. “God, what you do to me…” He felt like a fifteen-year-old schoolboy. If he didn’t suspect her grandfather was getting an eyeful from behind the curtain of their picture window, he’d lay her back on the seat of his truck and make both of them forget it was the middle of the afternoon.

  She broke the kiss as she snaked her legs around his thighs and held, her head thrown back as he planted moist, hot caresses on her neck, his tongue teasing the pulse-point racing in the hollow of her throat.

  “Come on—I’d better get you in,” he reluctantly let her go and walked her to the door. After a touch of his mouth to her cheek, he took a deep breath and stepped away. “I’ll see you tonight.”

  Striding to the Silverado, he honked twice before pulling out of the drive, grinning at her shaky wave goodbye. God, what she did to him!

  Okay—he’d pushed. But he didn’t hear any complaints.

  Maddie leaned back against the door and closed her eyes. Torn between the mind-boggling passions Gideon Branch aroused in her vulnerable heart and the proceed-with-caution flags his kisses raised, all she could do was wait patiently for her pulse to return to normal and try to make some sense of her reactions to the sexy cowboy. Lord have mercy, the man had dropped the floor from under her feet.

  What a totally delicious dilemma.

  The sound of a throat being cleared interrupted her, and she opened her eyes to see Pap grinning at her from the comfort of his recliner.

  “How was lunch?” he asked with fake innocence.

  Biting her lips with pretend exasperation, she raised her brows. “Good. We ate with Loretta and Stan, talked about this and that.”

  “This and that, huh?”

  “Yeah, Pap. By the way, Gideon’s coming for dinner tonight. I mentioned my plans for the camp, and we’re going to do some brainstorming.”

  “Thought he might be interested in helping. He’s a good man, girl. You could do worse than him.”

  “Pap…” she began.

  “Don’t ‘Pap’ me. You like him—written all over you. I’ve kissed a few girls in my day, and I can remember that same look on Emma’s face after I planted a good one on her. Nothing to be ashamed of. About time you let somebody break down your defenses. I like the idea of you with a man like Gideon. He could make you happy; I’m sure of it.” The earnestness of his expression melted her heart.

  “I do like him,” she admitted. “It’s just that this thing between us—whatever it is—is happening so fast it scares me. I don’t know how to handle it, and I ask myself if I can trust what I’m beginning to feel. My experience with men—well, you know how that turned out. Harrison and a few random dates that meant nothing and led nowhere. Then Gideon enters the picture, and he’s—I don’t know, overpowering. Larger than life.” Palms out, she widened her eyes, offering her confusion to her grandfather.

  “I’ll grant you he’s a lot of man. But you can handle him. Tell me what you like about him.”

  It didn’t take long for her to answer. She raised her shoulders. “Everything. What’s not to like? You’re right when you say he’s a good man. It’s obvious he loves his brothers and cares for his friends. Stan says he’s the best man he knows.”

  “What does Loretta say?”

  “She says I should quit trying to find things wrong with Gideon, stop comparing him to Harrison, and let nature take its course.”

  “Smart woman, that Loretta Mason.”

  “Then you agree?”

  “Maddie, girl, it doesn’t matter a pig’s poke what I think, or Loretta, or Stan, or anybody else. What matters is what you think. Use the brain God gave you. Do you think Gideon is a man you could fall in love with? Can you see yourself by his side in years to come, through thick and thin, happy, making a home, having a family? What does your gut tell you?”

  “Whew! Lots of questions; lots to think about. I am convinced of one thing. I don’t think Gideon is a liar. He wouldn’t deceive me and lead me on the way Harrison did—no matter what the reason. I trust Gideon.”

  Something flashed in Pap’s eyes, and he briefly glanced down and to the left. “So you like him. You trust him. What else?”

  She could feel the blood rush to her face, and Pap took notice.

  “Yeah,” he observed. “Emma had that same look about her. I suspected he would appeal to you—that way.”

  Raising her palm, she stopped him, “Ew. TMI. Don’t go there. He’s a good-looking man—I admit it. I could get used to waking up… Well, never mind. Just add his appearance to the list of ‘likes’ we’ve been talking about.”

  “He a good kisser?”

  That was it. Enough. End of discussion. There was no way she was going to venture down that path with her grandfather. “Okay, this conversation is over. I need to get started on dinner.”

  Pap nodded with a crooked smile on his face. He must have been a heartbreaker in his day—she could still see the youthful rogue he’d been in the gleam of his eye. Her grandmother hadn’t stood a chance. She probably didn’t either.

  He pushed up from the chair and glanced at her from under his eyebrows. “You just answered my question, Maddie girl. Don’t discount it—the physical is an important part of any relationship. If he turns you on…”

  “Pap,” she squealed at the top of her lungs. “Stop. Don’t go there.” And marched to the kitchen to the sound of his raucous laughter. “You’re a mess,” she called over her shoulder.

  “Yeah, and you love me,” he teased and laughed until he held his side.

  Yes, she loved him and refused to listen to the nagging voice in her head that told her these special moments with this man who meant so much to her were coming to an end. Halting the direction of her thoughts, she determined to concentrate on life—on the good times and making him happy. And, for now, concentrate on dinner.

  “Maddie? One more thing… God gave us a brain for thinking. He gave us a heart for feeling. Loving a man is fifty percent feeling and fifty percent thinking. You have a woman’s heart, and you deserve to be happy. I’m of the opinion Gideon can give you that.”

  “Gotcha, Pap. Now, let me get cooking.”

  One day at a time; one step at a time. One problem at a time.

  As she pulled a beef roast out of the freezer and set the microwave on defrost, all the ques
tions Pap asked kept replaying through her mind. She liked Gideon, admitted that much to Pap and herself. Respected him as a man, trusted him, and—God forbid she would talk about it with Pap—she wanted him. He’d been a magnificent lover. Introduced her to her first sexual experience with consideration, care, and passion. And if there was one thing about him that no one could dispute—the man was hot. Lord have mercy, her walls were crumbling faster than Jericho tumbled to the ground.

  Setting the oven to slow roast, she slid the beef, potatoes, carrots, and onions to the center. No pie tonight—the oven was busy. What could she serve for dessert? A wicked grin built as a naughty answer filled her mind.

  Ah, Maddie. You’re a bad, bad girl.

  Ice cream sundaes would have to do. She pre-made them except for the syrup, cream, and cherries, put them in the front of the freezer, and brushed her hands together. Now for a nice long bath and some relaxation.

  Only it wasn’t relaxing. Quite the opposite.

  Every time she moved, the water caressed her body and reminded her of Gideon. His touch on her hot skin, his mouth as he teased her nipples, the way he filled her body, urging her toward completion. It seemed that since last night she was consumed by him and with him. Was this normal? Did every woman falling in love fill every thought, every minute with the man she—

  Whoa.

  Falling in love?

  Where did that scary thought come from? She liked Gideon, was enjoying getting to know him, but love? It was way too soon to let the “L” word come into the conversation.

  Maddie flipped the drain and watched the water level sink, her mind blank, her heart skipping around in her chest, refusing to let her brain function again. Just be still, silent, and be. If she moved, her mind and body would start arguing about Gideon again.

  What was it he’d told her? Don’t overthink it?

  Too late—that was precisely what was happening.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Table set. Flowers. Candles?

  No. Definitely no candles. This was a family dinner, not a romantic interlude.

  She smoothed her hands over the demure sundress she’d chosen to wear, tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and listened for the sound of Gideon’s truck.

  Pap sat in his recliner and opened yet another Zane Grey. The man went through those western stories faster than Wiley Coyote chased the Road Runner down the dusty cartoon trail.

  She spared him a smile—reading kept his mind off his illness. At least in the pages of his books he could imagine himself as the cowboy hero—young, strong, tough, and in control. Even that last something that was beginning to abandon him as the cancer progressed.

  A hard knock on the door interrupted her sigh. Gideon. Her heart thumped so hard she was sure the material of her dress moved with the beat.

  Pap was staring at her.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Well, aren’t you going to answer it?”

  Maddie shook her head, graced him with an exasperated toss of her head, and opened the door to the sight of the man who’d moved into her mind. Dark jeans that fit just right, a white oxford button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, boots spit-shined for the occasion. All in all, a sight that took her breath away. And whatever was in that aftershave he wore sped her pulse straight into the danger zone.

  “Maddie,” he rumbled in a low voice as he leaned in for a kiss—not on the cheek but directly on the lips, lingering long enough for her to get a whiff of mint that shot to her center as he said hello to Pap.

  “You okay, girl?” Pap asked with a conspiratorial wink at Gideon.

  “Of course.” She closed the door, just a tad too hard.

  “Have a seat, Gideon. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” If her stomach didn’t settle down soon, she’d take a dose of an antacid and skip the meal altogether.

  Coward.

  Maybe so, but everybody was ganging up on her. Loretta, Stan, Pap. They were all on Gideon’s side. Convinced that he was just what she needed. Rushing her. They had time, didn’t they? What was the hurry?

  The men conversed quietly about animals and ranching as she finished the preparations for dinner. Plating the food, she carried it to the table, poured tea in their glasses, and strained to hear the muted conversation from the other room.

  Hearing her name perked up her hearing; they were saying something about a piece of paper being safely tucked away, then a suspicious silence followed by words she couldn’t ascertain, ending with Gideon loudly clearing his throat. Man business, she supposed, though she couldn’t fathom what the big secret could be and why her name was being whispered.

  At the entrance to the living room, she called, “Dinner’s ready.”

  Both men looked up with guilty expressions on their faces, like they’d been caught doing something they shouldn’t, little boys hiding a secret from their mom.

  “Everything okay in here?” she asked.

  Pap nodded, meeting Gideon’s purposefully innocent gaze.

  As Pap struggled to rise, Gideon helped him up. The concern in his expression wasn’t difficult to read. She wasn’t the only one who noticed how weak her grandfather had become.

  Taking a seat beside her, he rubbed his hands together and inhaled the tantalizing aroma of the home-cooked meal. “Pot roast. My favorite.” Taking the platter Maddie offered, he deliberately ran his finger over hers under the dish. It was a good thing she had a firm grip on the platter; otherwise she’d have let it drop.

  There was no way to control the flush she could feel rising to her cheeks, and Pap watched with barely concealed approval as he cleared his throat and began a conversation about Emma’s Camp.

  Maddie was thankful he and Gideon occupied themselves by debating the pros and cons of her proposals while she pretended to eat, pushing the meat and vegetables around on her plate. That they generally approved her ideas was a good thing, because there was no way she could mount any defense while his thigh continually brushed hers and made her think about his muscles and the way they’d felt wrapped around her body one starry night.

  A wink here and there. A teasing smile. His knee bumping into her under the table. His every move built tension until it was thick enough to cut with the proverbial knife and she was ready to say goodnight to Pap and drag Gideon to the couch to have her way with him.

  Glancing at Gideon, she met his half-lidded eyes. He knew exactly what he was doing to her. And so did Pap.

  “Great dinner, girl. I’m going to take my book to my bedroom and read for a bit. It’s been a long day, and I’m tired. Gideon, always good to see you. Hope you’ll come back. It’s not good for a man to be alone and eat junk when he has an open invitation for a home-cooked meal.”

  Gideon stood, his napkin clasped in his hand, and nodded with a smile. “That’s good to hear—I’ll take you up on that offer—often.”

  “You okay?” Maddie asked her grandfather, her concerned gaze meeting his.

  “When the time comes that I’m not okay, I’ll let you know. For now, I’m just an old man who wants some solitude to finish a good book. You two youngsters do what you want—you won’t bother me one bit. I’m down for the night.”

  Gideon helped him get up and walked him to his room. “Need me, Pap?”

  “Naw, son. I’m fine. Help Maddie with the dishes and go have some fun.” He shared a conspiratorial glance, and a man-pat to Gideon’s shoulder. “And remember what we talked about.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t forget. You need me, you call. I’ll be checking in with you every day or so from now on.”

  “Maddie and I can manage for now. Got to see the doctor tomorrow. She needs the all-clear from him that she can leave me alone for that test in Cheyenne. Hell of a thing when a grown man is treated like a kid. I’m not a fool—if I need help, I’ll ask for it.”

  Wiping her hands with a dishcloth, Maddie came to stand next to Gideon. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

  Pap nodded. “I understa
nd, but you’ve got a lot to do, and you can’t do it with me hanging on to your apron strings. Take your test. Meet with the architect in Laramie. Get on with your plans. It does me good to see you moving on with your life.”

  “How about this,” Gideon offered. “Let me call Rowdy and make an appointment for Friday afternoon. I’ll drive Maddie. She and Rowdy can do their thing, and we’ll come back Saturday. If the doc says you’re okay alone, fine. If not, I’ll find someone to stay the night.”

  Pap frowned. “I don’t need a babysitter. Not yet. You two forget I’m not a child. I’m not running away from what’s happening, but I know my own body. When the time comes, I’ll say so. Until then, dignify me by listening to me. Go to Laramie. I’ll. Be. Fine.”

  Maddie blinked back tears, her heart breaking with every word. Pap was so much braver than she. He dealt with his impending death with the same courage and toughness with which he’d faced every tragedy in his life. Head on.

  “You’re right, Pap,” she quietly agreed.

  “Yes, sir,” Gideon added.

  Pap kissed her goodnight and disappeared behind his door, symbolic of what lay ahead. He’d be gone from her sight, the barrier of death separating them like a closed door. A hard knot of grief filled her chest.

  Somehow she would have to find a way to survive alone, and she lifted moist eyes to find Gideon’s gaze steady and compassionate upon her.

  “Remember. Whatever you face, you won’t be alone,” he whispered and drew her to him. Strong, comforting arms enfolded her trembling body.

  “Do you think we could take a raincheck on the movie?” She wasn’t in the mood.

  “No problem, sweetheart.” Twirling a hank of her hair around his finger, he tugged. “The house doesn’t need cleaning tomorrow, and I can do a couple of loads of laundry. Why don’t you spend the day with Pap and put together your thoughts for Rowdy? I’ll call you after I talk to him.”

  She nodded and smiled. “Thanks, Gideon. Thanks for being here for me.”

  He flicked her nose with the tip of his finger. “We’ll get through this together. I can’t change the outcome, but I can ease the journey. Let me. I want to do this for you.”