Never Say Never Again

by A. E. Easterlin

  Unable to form any intelligent assessment of her emotions, one coherent thought played in her brain—the refrain from an old Elvis Presley tune, “Please Help Me, I’m Falling.” She was falling in love with Gideon.

  Chapter Nineteen

  As the miles passed, Maddie felt as if a millstone had been lifted from around her neck.

  She didn’t want to think about Pap, or the future, or anything but plans for Emma’s Camp and the upcoming evening with Gideon.

  “Scoot over here.” Gideon tugged at their laced hands.

  He pulled her close until her thigh rested next to his. Warm and sexy. Her heart did a little happy dance in her chest, which left a smile on her lips.

  “This is nice. The plans for the camp, all the worry about Pap…”

  Gideon raised their hands and placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand. “Let’s make a deal. This afternoon we’ll talk with Rowdy, and I’m sure he can come up with cost-effective plans for the cabins. That will be one worry off your mind. Then we’ll rest and get ready for a nice dinner, a good bottle of wine, and a little dancing, if you’re up for it with a gimp.”

  “You’re not a gimp,” she protested.

  “I can still shuffle around the floor—I don’t think I’ll embarrass you.”

  Maddie snorted. “Huh, as if being with a man like you could ever be an embarrassment.”

  Gideon smiled at her, his heart in his eyes, and winked. “I’m glad you enjoy being with me, Maddie.” Another hand kiss and she let her head rest on his shoulder.

  Gideon had asked Rowdy for a recommendation on a place to stay, and he’d suggested a bed and breakfast at the end of town. It sat back from the road at the intersection of two broad residential streets and looked as if it should be located in the deep south rather than in Laramie, Wyoming.

  “I love these old Victorian homes. This is absolutely beautiful,” she exclaimed, delighted.

  “Rowdy extended an invitation to stay at his ranch tonight, but I declined. I hope this place is acceptable,” he said as he parked in front.

  “You didn’t want to stay at your friend’s? I would have been okay with that. You probably don’t get to see him as much as you’d like.”

  “No, I thought we might like some privacy tonight. I want you to relax—you’ve been taking care of Pap and the ranch and my place. Put everything out of your mind. Concentrate on me…on us.”

  “Ah. Now I see. Ulterior motives. You think you can wine and dine me and then have your way with me, Mr. Branch.”

  “Damn straight, Miss Lowry. I’m counting on it.” Swiping her hair behind her neck with his finger, he circled the shell of her ear, causing tingles and shivers to cascade over her body. “Any objections? I can always make a phone call.”

  If he kept touching her like this, and talking like this, and breathing on all her sensitive spots, they wouldn’t make it to dinner, much less after. Cutting her gaze to the side, Maddie could see he knew exactly what he was doing to her, so she elbowed him gently in the ribs.

  “Down, boy.”

  He laughed and let her go. “I get the message.”

  Gideon got both feet firmly on the ground before helping her out of the Silverado and pulling their bags from the back cab. Maddie looped her arm through his, and they climbed the steps to the lobby.

  “You realize you were playing with fire back there?” he asked, opening the door and stepping back to let her precede him.

  “I know.” She grinned.

  The bed and breakfast was charming. Circa eighteen seventy, the reception area had obviously been the main parlor of the house. Period furnishings and wallpaper created a homey environment, all done in shades of green and gold. Velvet valances adorned the windows and framed the arched entryways to the dining room and hallway that must lead to the kitchen. Maddie felt as if she’d stepped back in time.

  Gideon rested his big hand on the small of her back while they checked in. She was surprised how much she liked it. Harrison hadn’t touched her often while they were in public; he’d held her hand on occasion, given her a perfunctory kiss now and then. Gideon’s courteous manner made her feel cherished, valued—as if he were proud to have her in his company, telling the rest of the world she was his.

  Their room was on the second floor, and after thanking the clerk, they each took a bag and climbed the stairs. Gideon unlocked the door, took her suitcase and put it in the corner, and strode purposefully back to her. Three steps and he had her backed against the door.

  It was as if someone had thrown a bucket of ice cold water on her. Not an arctic blast—an arctic vortex. Too soon, too much, too intense.

  I can’t do this!

  Maddie would give anything to run. She began to tremble and squeezed her eyes shut. Gideon had proven he could melt her defenses, and if she looked at him right now, she was a goner.

  Maddie, you’re a coward, that’s what you are. He hasn’t done anything you didn’t want him to.

  Love. That’s what she was running from. Gideon made her feel things that threatened her carefully constructed existence. Her safe zone. It could annihilate her.

  For the first time, the emotion felt real, and it scared the living daylights out of her. It was one thing to think about it, talk to Loretta about it, even dream about it. But to actually love?

  Reality went out of focus, caging her in, drawing her hands above her head and claiming her mouth.

  “Gideon,” she evaded as his tongue tasted and explored. “What time is our appointment?”

  “We have two hours. We have plenty of time.”

  “Aren’t you hungry?” she asked.

  The answer was a growl as he thrust his hips against hers. “Hell, yeah, I’m hungry…for you…for this.”

  Maddie stiffened, which prompted a frown. Gideon pulled back and searched her face. “Don’t do this, Maddie. Don’t try and reason it out or think it through or run away. You and I are meant to be.”

  “Are we?”

  Gideon smiled tenderly into her eyes. “We are. And you know it in here.” His forefinger traced from her cheek to her heart.

  “What if I mess it up?”

  “Darlin’, you didn’t mess it up the last time. Do you trust me, Maddie?”

  She nodded.

  “Say the words. Say ‘I trust you, Gideon.’ ”

  “I trust you, Gideon.”

  “Nothing will harm you on my watch, Maddie. I won’t betray your love. All you have to do is let it happen.”

  Maddie sighed as she gave in to the sensation. She loved the way he touched her, the way he kissed, the way he knew where her hot spots were and how to treat them. He was so solid, so warm, so sexy. She loved…

  She. Loved. Gideon.

  Maddie froze and let it happen.

  Her body turning into ice sent an altogether different message than the one she intended.

  ****

  Gideon’s stormy eyes locked on hers. Confusion clouded her face and it broke his heart. Her grandfather was dying, she was attempting to start a new venture, and a man whom she’d recently met had taken her virginity and used every weapon in his arsenal to make her fall in love with him. Too much; too soon. Her panicked expression and the tension in her body signaled her trepidation. He’d rushed her, and she wasn’t ready.

  He paused, shook his head, and grabbed their bags. Exhaling his regret, he softly cursed. “Come on. Booking a romantic getaway was a bad idea. Let’s attend to business, and then I’ll get you home to Pap.”

  Relieved eyes searched his. “You sure?”

  “I’m sure, as long as you understand I’m not giving up, just slowing things down.”

  Her shy smile was enough to convince him he was doing the right thing. From the looks of Pap Lowry, Gideon hadn’t long to convince her to marry him, but moving so fast was a mistake. For the first time, he was jealous of Harrison McCall. Maddie had loved him with her whole heart. Not for the first time, he questioned if she would ever truly be over her first
and only love. Was there room in her heart for him?

  Control, Branch. Exercise discipline and give her some breathing room. Otherwise, he’d lose her, and that wasn’t going to happen. A lot depended on how wisely he pursued Maddie—their happiness, his brothers’ future, and the future of Snowy Branch.

  God, why couldn’t Pap have just sold him the property? That would have made things so much simpler. He would have married Maddie anyway. But he supposed he could understand the old man’s reticence. If—for some unacceptable reason—Maddie wouldn’t have him, she would have been left without her inheritance.

  No. The best strategy was to take things slow, overcome her doubts, and pray time was on his side. They’d begun with a bonfire, while Maddie needed a slow, hot burn. He reached over and laced his fingers with hers and tugged her next to him.

  Watching traffic as he drove, he could sense her cautious gaze. “Listen, sweetheart, quit worrying. Everything is going to work out. Call it a miscommunication or a stumble—whatever. The point is, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not a kid anymore, Maddie. I’ve seen things, done things, and now I’m home to stay. I want you to be sure. We’ll take all the time you need.”

  “Thank you.”

  By the time they reached Rowdy’s office, her breathing had returned to normal. His friend’s office was just like the man, rugged and dressed to impress. Leather couches, western art painted by famous artists, cowhide rugs, bronze sculptures of cowboys and cattle drives. A lifetime of memorabilia attractively placed to create a warm, friendly atmosphere, full of the flavor of the West. For any other man, it would have been overpowering. For Rowdy—it was perfect.

  His eyes flashed fire as he smiled at Maddie, pulling out the chair facing his desk and inviting her to sit. “So you’re Maddie. The woman who finally lassoed the CO’s heart.”

  “CO?” she asked.

  “Gideon didn’t tell you he commanded our unit before he opted out?”

  “No.” She glanced at Gideon as he sat in the chair next to her.

  “Cut it out, Rowdy. Maddie isn’t interested in old war stories,” Gideon said.

  Maddie smiled at both men. “Quite the contrary—I’d love to hear about his missions. If you can tell me, that is.”

  Rowdy tilted his chin, enjoying having Gideon on the hot spot. “Not all were classified. I remember one time we were in a cantina in some South American village, and…”

  “Shut it, bud,” Gideon interrupted in the nick of time. “As I told you, Maddie is starting a camp for special needs kids. Sort of a dude ranch that will allow physically and mentally challenged children to experience the West while improving their quality of life through riding and other ranching activities.”

  “Great idea,” Rowdy agreed.

  Maddie continued with, “Strengthening atrophied muscles and flexibility while giving them a chance to have fun and be like any other boy or girl for a while. Gideon says you can help me design a few cabins for families, cabins that would be cost effective and quick to build.”

  “What do you have in mind?” Rowdy sat forward.

  “Nothing elaborate. I was thinking one large room, with a kitchenette, and bedrooms with baths on each side.”

  “Like a suite?”

  “Yes, but each cabin would have a full wraparound porch to relax and take advantage of the marvelous views.”

  Gideon watched as his friend grabbed a blank piece of paper and pencil, and began to sketch. Maddie got up and went to stand behind him as he drew.

  He drank in her beauty. He could sit here all day and stare. Remembering the feel of her satin skin, the musky sweet taste of her, made him want her even more, if that was possible. His good sense had prevailed, earlier today, and that was a good thing. But he could have had her under him, glorious hair spread out on the pillows, buried deep in paradise.

  Easy. He crossed his boot over his bad leg and adjusted his position. If he played his cards right, they’d have a lifetime together.

  While Maddie worked with Rowdy’s plans, Gideon gave up trying to get comfortable in his chair and went to stand by the window. Taking things slow didn’t mean taking a breather.

  From now on, he’d make sure Maddie got a small dose of him every day. Help her with the corrals and bunkhouse. Give her an opportunity to see him regularly, make himself useful. Create a bond. Court her without being obvious. That way he could keep an eye on Pap, help him when the time came, and make himself indispensable to her.

  Pap was on his side.

  Loretta and Stan were on his side.

  Eli and Zack would be on his side.

  But the only person who counted was Maddie.

  Chapter Twenty

  They made it back to the ranch in record time. Maddie remained quiet, her mind racing with Rowdy’s suggestions. When she’d asked for a quote, he’d declined. His contribution, he’d said. Gideon’s friends were as nice as he.

  Traffic was light, even though it was rush hour—if there was such a thing in Laramie, Wyoming. Gideon didn’t seem to be in a hurry and drove at a moderate speed, keeping their hands linked for the entire trip.

  “So what did you think of Rowdy’s preliminary plans?” he asked.

  “Right on the mark. I can hardly wait to get started. How long do you think it will take to get the corrals repaired and the bunkhouse upgrades completed?”

  “A week for the corrals, another for repairs to the outbuildings. The bunkhouse will need a new roof, flooring, and an enlarged bath. Give yourself plenty of time. When Eli comes home, I can dispatch him to help or come myself.”

  The ringtone of his phone had him slowing down and giving it a glance. All color left his tanned face, replaced by a dark flush. Pulling over to the side of the road, he slammed the truck into park and turned to her.

  The dust was still settling around them when his grim expression penetrated her confusion. Cold dread crept over her like an insidious fog, and her heart flopped once and stilled.

  “Maddie…”

  The expression on his face said it all. Something had happened to Pap.

  “Don’t,” she wailed. “Don’t say it.”

  Big, warm hands covered her shoulders, and Gideon pulled her into his hard chest. A terrible sorrow held her in its grip, and she could no more hold back the sobs that wracked her body than ignore the crushing grief that devastated her.

  “It’s okay, baby. He’s hanging on. He’s taken a turn for the worse, and Loretta called the ambulance. We’re almost there, but Doc Crawford will meet us at the hospital.”

  “Is Pap still at the house?”

  “Yeah—do you want to go home or to the hospital?”

  “Can we make it home before the ambulance leaves? I want to be with him.”

  Compassionate, sorrowful eyes stared at her. Earth-shattering trembles hit her in waves that stole her breath, and pain-inducing fear pitched her forward. The ache in her chest hammered until she thought she would faint, and darkness threatened to block the waning light.

  Gideon stroked her back and whispered in her ear, reassuring her, reminding her of her grandfather’s love. Of his.

  In abject misery she clutched the tearstained dampness of his shirt. “What am I going to do without him?” she cried in agonized panic.

  “He’s not gone yet. When the time comes, you’ll do what he expected of you, sweetheart. You’ll honor his memory by putting one foot in front of the other, taking it minute by minute and hour by hour, and go on with your life. Make him proud, Maddie, show the world what he gave you—how he grew you. Build on the legacy of your family. Make Emma’s Camp the best it can be, something that honors both their memories.”

  “You’re right, but it hurts so much,” she whispered as her body shuddered against his.

  “I know, sweetheart—just hold on. I’m right here.”

  Crying and nodding as he held her, Maddie began to process his words. Yes, Pap would want her to make good on her dream. Lately, it was all he’d talked about. That and be
ing open to marrying Gideon Branch. It all began to mix together—the camp, her dreams, the future, and Gideon. So much had happened so fast, it was confusing. Thank goodness she’d found Gideon.

  Throwing her arms around his neck, she put her brokenness in his hands. “Don’t leave me. I need you—I need you so much.”

  “Remember what I said—whatever the future holds, we’ll get through it together. You are mine, Maddie, for now and always, and I’m yours.”

  Too immersed in grief to absorb the meaning of his words, they brought her a measure of comfort anyway. She curled into his warm side. There was so much to do—ranch business to take care of; she’d have to hire some part-time help. If…if he made it through, he’d be in the hospital for a while. When he was released, he’d need nursing care, perhaps hospice.

  Gideon signaled a merge onto the highway and drove the remaining few short miles, holding her hand in a firm grip. When they pulled up in front of the house, Stan sat on the steps. When he saw Maddie, he stood and met her gaze with sad eyes.

  “Pap?” she croaked.

  Stan nodded. “Lo is with him. You need to get in there, Maddie. He…he doesn’t look good.”

  Maddie swallowed a sob and rushed through the door and stopped.

  “Gideon?” she called over her shoulder.

  “Go be with Pap,” he said, his voice reassuring. “Loretta’s in there. I’m right behind you.”

  Stan met Gideon’s serious gaze. “He going to make it?” Gideon asked.

  “I don’t know. So far, he’s holding on and waiting for Maddie. If he does survive, it’s only a matter of time.”

  Gideon dropped his head and slapped his hat against his thigh. “Losing Pap is going to be hard on Maddie. You’re never ready to say goodbye to someone you love.”