Back to You

by Raquel Lyon

  Matt had no intention to make her feel any better about that. He wanted a girl, a very specific girl.

  Over four years was too long to be holding regrets, he thought as he stepped into the morning sunshine and made his way along the gravel path. At the time, he was certain he’d done the right thing. He hadn’t told anybody about that night, afraid to be branded a pussy by his mates, so he’d done the only manly thing possible… lied. Guilt had set in pretty quickly, after that, but by then, it was too late. The dirty looks Nessie flashed him across crowded, college corridors were enough to convince him he’d be wasting his time trying to make things right, but now, it was time to leave that part of his past behind—time to move on.

  Reaching the end of the path, Matt stared out to sea. In the distance, only the red line of an oil tanker broke the horizon. His eyes followed the sun’s reflection on the water as it narrowed towards the beach.

  Amongst the dog walkers and joggers, a solitary figure caught his eye. Dressed in a fluorescent pink tank top and matching shorts, it was hard not to notice her. She stood with her back to him, facing the ocean, and the only sign of movement was the strand of blond hair escaping from her ponytail and blowing in the breeze.

  His heart beat rapidly, like an internal radar signal. It had to be her.

  The pace of his breathing increased, more from nerves than lack of fitness, as he descended the steps carved out of the cliff face. In his mind, he churned over the speech he’d prepared, jumbling up the sentences until it was all a complete mess. Why couldn’t he think straight? On the train, he’d had the whole thing memorised verbatim, yet now, the words evaporated as soon as he thought of them.

  The steps went deep between the rocks, and Matt lost sight of his target, only for a few seconds, but when his feet hit the sand, she was nowhere to be seen.

  ***

  Nessie sucked in one more lungful of air and set off back towards the road. She had planned to scale the cliff steps back to the hotel, but that was before she realised just how unfit she’d become. She should have warmed up, eased into the run slowly, but no. As usual, she’d thought she could handle things.

  Trying to lose weight was a pain in the ass… literally. Her ass cheeks were screaming more than her lungs, and her legs had developed a wobble. All this effort had better be worth it. If she made it back to her room, without collapsing, she planned to spend the next hour in that huge tub.

  The steep incline of the road had her wondering if she should rethink her decision to utilise the facilities of the hotel hairdresser, that afternoon, and have a massage at the spa instead. Her muscles would probably appreciate it, and she didn’t want to end up hobbling down the aisle like some arthritic granny. Rounding the corner into the car park, she kicked herself for having such a stupid idea. Her last spa visit had been a disaster, and with her luck, another one would be just as bad. She hoped her mother would understand that she couldn’t risk ending up in hospital before the big day. No way was she going through that again.

  No. A new hair colour was a much safer option. Besides, she’d already called into the salon, yesterday, chosen a colour, and had a patch test, and she was eagerly anticipating the end result.

  ***

  After ascending the steps at a more leisurely pace, Matt entered the lobby feeling deflated. To his right, the elevator doors were pulling to a close, and he caught a flash of pink. Had he been right? Had it been Nessie on the beach?

  He ran to push the button, but the elevator had already begun to climb. Banging his fist against the door with frustration brought a frown from the receptionist.

  “Is there a problem, sir?”

  He whirled around. “The girl who just went in there; what room is she in?”

  “I’m afraid I didn’t see who she was.”

  “Are you blind? How could you have missed her?”

  “Please lower your voice, sir.”

  Matt took a breath, feeling far from calm. “Her name is Nessie. Nessie Carmichael.”

  “We have numerous Carmichaels booked in this week, sir. Let me see…” She opened the booking folder and ran her finger down the names. “No. There is no Nessie listed.”

  “Never mind. I’ll find her myself.” He glanced up at the floor indicator, already lighting up the two, and ran for the stairs.

  He missed the receptionist add, “But there is a Vanessa.”

  Smashing through the door on the third floor, he scanned the corridors.

  Empty.

  Damn.

  There were only four floors. She had to be on the next one.

  A moment later, he burst onto the fourth, and ran smack into Josh. “Whoa. Where’s the fire, dude?” Josh asked.

  “Um…” Matt’s eyes flicked from one side to the other, and seeing they were alone, he said, “Nowhere, I guess.”

  “Good.” Josh slapped Matt on the back. “Because Johnny’s looking for you downstairs. How do you fancy a spot of paintballing while the girls do their thing?”

  ***

  One hour turned into two, and Nessie turned into a prune. A break in her playlist was accompanied by a knock at the door. “Who is it?” she shouted.

  “Amy. Let me in.”

  “Just a sec.” Nessie tore her headphones from her ears, climbed out of the bath, and wrapped a towel around her body before she opened the door.

  Amy laughed. “My God. Did you fall asleep? You look like an apple that’s been left out in the sun.”

  “Don’t talk about food. I’m freaking starving. I haven’t eaten all morning,” Nessie said as Amy strode into the room.

  “Then get dressed and come to lunch,” Amy said, flopping onto the bed and propping her head up with her elbow. “When that assistant told you to lay off the chocolate, she didn’t mean kill yourself. Besides, you’ll need your strength for tonight.” She winked.

  “Oh? Why’s that?”

  “Garrett, silly. Aren’t you dying to show him a good time?”

  Nessie perched on the edge of the bed and clutched her towel to her chest. “Ames, if I tell you something, can you keep it a secret?”

  “Sure, Sis. What’s up?”

  “Promise you won’t tell?”

  “Haven’t we always looked out for each other and kept each other’s secrets?” Amy watched as Nessie took a deep breath.

  “Do you ever feel like everything you do and every choice you make is wrong?”

  “Um…” Amy thought for a moment. “No. I can’t say I do. What are you trying to say?”

  “I thought it would be exciting going out with the manager of a famous rock band, and it was, for a while, but things have changed. It’s over.”

  Amy shot upright. “Oh my God! Since when? Is he not coming? What about the band?”

  “No. No. Don’t stress. He’ll be here. I haven’t told him yet. Mum might be infuriating, smothering, and quite frankly, out of her mind at the moment, but she is my Mum, and I’m not going to ruin her big day.”

  “Thank God for that. You scared me.” Amy relaxed, but a frown creased her brow. “I thought you and Garrett were solid.”

  “Haven’t been for a while.” Nessie stood up and started rooting around in a drawer crammed with underwear. “It’s a long story.”

  Amy waited for Nessie to wiggle into her knickers. “Give me the highlights.”

  “More like lowlights.”

  “He hasn’t hit you, has he? Because if he has…”

  “No. No, nothing like that.” Nessie paused to fasten her bra. “He’s more subtle.”

  “Mean to you?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Sometimes is too often.”

  “It’s not his fault. He’s stressed.”

  “That’s no excuse. Do you still love him?”

  Nessie paused for a second before answering, “Actually, I don’t think I ever did. In fact, I sometimes wonder why I ever went out with him.”

  “Because he’s crazy rich and you’re a materialistic bitch,” Amy said bl
untly. Her sister always did tell it like it was.

  “Yeah, well I’ve changed. I want a man like Josh.”

  “Girl, you are not having my man.”

  “Not him. Someone like him. Someone who loves me as much as Josh loves you. Garrett was always more of a friend… with benefits.”

  Amy laughed. “Yeah, pretty, sparkly ones.”

  “Only he’s not that friendly anymore.”

  “When are you going to tell him?”

  “After the wedding.”

  “Can you handle it until then?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

  Amy jumped up and opened Nessie’s wardrobe. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I think you’re doing the right thing. I never did like Garrett, but he’s Josh’s friend, and I know he’s has been dying to see him again, so with a bit of luck, Garrett will be having too much fun with the boys to bother you much.” Her hand ran along the line of hangers. “You do know you’ve brought enough clothes for a month, right?”

  “What can I say? I like my clothes.”

  “I know. This one’s pretty.” Amy held a dress against her and twirled around. “Did you make it?”

  “I’m not that good yet. It’s designer. Free sample.”

  “You’re so lucky getting stuff for free. I wish it would fit me,” she stretched the peach lace across her chest, “but there’s no way these babies are squashing in there.”

  “Yeah, well remind me to feel sorry for you if my tits ever grow.”

  Amy chuckled and threw the dress at her sister. “Wear it this afternoon.”

  Chapter Six

  The salon was across the corridor from the spa. Cora turned to Nessie as they approached the opposing doors. “I understand why you wouldn’t want any of the treatments. Your reaction to the seaweed wrap in Greece was dreadful, but some of the ladies are using the sauna and a couple are having a manicure. I had thought you might choose one of those.”

  “I’m having my hair done, Mum.”

  “What about a wax?”

  “I defuzzed before we came.”

  “But you’ll be having your hair done on the day.”

  “Not like this, Mum. Have fun.” Nessie pushed the door open and entered the salon before her mother could say anything else to stop her.

  The stylist had purple hair, crooked teeth, and a voice like a spin dryer, which she utilised to ask far too many personal questions when all Nessie wanted was to be left alone to read her magazine. Why was it that hairdressers thought they had the God-given right to intrude into your personal life?

  Nessie tried to smile and sound enthusiastic about the wedding, but she felt like a defective spaceman with her foil-covered head, and her stomach was churning around the steamed fish and vegetables she’d wolfed down for lunch. Nerves had got the better of her, and she was having second thoughts about whether she’d be able to keep up the façade with Garrett. Stringing him along wasn’t fair. She knew that. But ending it straight away wouldn’t be fair to her mother, either, and if she had to choose between them, it was a no-brainer.

  Pulling her wrist from under the gown, she noted the time. Garrett would be arriving in less than two hours.

  “Time to rinse you off.” The stylist clenched her hands eagerly and beamed. “Are you excited?”

  Nessie answered with a weak smile and a nod.

  Twenty minutes later, she was choking under a fog of hairspray.

  The stylist swung the chair back to face the mirror. “What do you think?”

  Nessie studied the girl in the mirror, wondering who she was. The trim she’d been persuaded into—“Let me just get rid of your split ends.”—had turned out to be a couple of inches, and she wanted to cry. “Um, the lowlights are great,” she said, thinking if she could escape up to her room and brush out all the backcombing, there might be another centimetre of hair in there somewhere.

  After handing over almost a full day’s pay, she daren’t disappear without saying goodbye to everyone, so she stuck her head around the spa door. The other women were relaxing in a cushioned area, wearing white robes and drinking tea.

  Cora wrinkled her nose. “Oh, Vanessa. What have you done?”

  “I know the style’s a bit OTT,” Nessie said, “but what do you think of the streaks? Nice?”

  “It’ll take some getting used to.”

  “Well, I like it,” Amy said decisively.

  Diane’s cup clinked into the saucer. “So do I, but you’re going to need a brighter lipstick, dear.”

  Sheila muttered something that Nessie didn’t catch and chose to ignore. The woman had never liked her when she was going out with Matt, and her opinion hadn’t changed over the years. She considered Nessie too flighty for her precious son. Nessie couldn’t have cared less.

  “Well,” Nessie said, “you all seem to be nearly done, so if I don’t see you at dinner, it’s meet up in the lobby at eight, right?”

  “Yes. Eight o’clock,” Cora confirmed. “Don’t be late.”

  When Nessie opened the door to her room, she stopped dead, and her muscles immediately tensed. Garrett was stooped over his case, lifting neatly folded T-shirts onto the bed. He was early. Crap.

  “You’re here already?” The words were out of Nessie’s mouth before she could stop them.

  “Babe!” Garrett’s head shot up along with his eyebrows. “Christ! Who did that to you?” he asked, sweeping his blond waves to the side to get a better look at her.

  “I… well, everyone was having a spa afternoon and I… well… you know that wasn’t an option for me. So I went to the salon.”

  “And let them fuck your hair up?”

  “It’s not that bad.”

  “It’s not that good either. Have you seen yourself?”

  “Of course, I have.”

  Garrett circled her slowly, making Nessie feel like an exhibit in a freak show. “Look, don’t worry,” he said.

  “I’m not—” Nessie’s voice trailed off as Garrett cut in.

  “I’ll sort it all out. I’ll insist they fit you in straight away, and we’ll have you back to normal before you know it.”

  “What if I don’t—?”

  “Nessie, baby,” Garrett interrupted again. “You’re too sweet. I know you want everything to run smoothly this week, and I get it. I do. But you can’t let people push you into doing things you don’t want to do and make you look like a fool.”

  “I-I think the salon’s closed, now. I was their last client,” she lied, happy he’d let her finish a sentence. “I’ll go back tomorrow.”

  “Hmm. Well, I suppose I can put up with it for one night.” He pulled her into his arms. “It’ll be like having a new woman,” he said, letting his eyes fall to her chest. “And that sexy little number you’re wearing more than makes up for the hair.”

  Before she could object, his lips were on hers, and his hands had slid up the back of her skirt, but when he thrust his tongue into her mouth, she almost gagged.

  Just kiss him, Nessie. It’s not like you haven’t done it a thousand times before.

  This time it’s different, her inner voice argued.

  Garrett ground the hard bulge in his jeans against her hip. “Mmm, babe, you drive me crazy. It’s been too long. I can’t wait to get you in the sack.” He winked. “But first, I’m going to grab a quick shower, and then I’ve brought us a little treat. I’ll let you say thank you to me in that special little way you’re so good at,” he said, smacking her on the ass.

  Nessie sighed. She knew exactly what special little way he was talking about, and she couldn’t do it. She just couldn’t. She didn’t care what the treat was. There was no way his dick was going anywhere near her mouth again. Not even if the little treat was a diamond ring. How in hell was she going to get through the next few days without giving in to his demands?

  The bathroom door flew back open before it had even closed.

  “What’s this?” Garrett held Nessie’s wash bag aloft.

  “My ma
ke-up.”

  “Your stuff’s all over the bathroom. How many times have I got to tell you to keep your shit out of my way?”

  Jeez, it was one bag. “Once more, clearly,” she mumbled.

  The bag flew across the room, missing Nessie’s head by inches. “Put it away,” Garrett ordered as the door slammed shut.

  Nessie retrieved the bag, placed it in her bedside drawer, and ran a brush through her hair as she waited for the sound of the water running. Then, when she was sure he was safely in the shower, she shouted, “Mum needs me downstairs. Back soon.”

  Chapter Seven

  Johnny hooked his arm around Matt’s neck as the boys returned to the hotel. “Great day, huh?”

  Not for me, Matt thought. “Yeah, it was good.”

  “Have to say, though, you were sort of shit, considering you used to be a copper.”

  “What’s that got to do with it? I had a pair of handcuffs and a baton. I wasn’t trained in firearms.”

  “Maybe not, but you could have tried more.”

  Matt didn’t want to hurt Johnny’s feelings by telling him guns freaked him out now, even ones with paint for bullets. The whole day had been a nightmare. Each pop of a trigger had had him hiding behind trees or hay bales, fending off visions of Sergeant Quinn with half of his face missing. “Maybe you should take me karting? Then we’ll see who’s shit.”

  “Oh, you’re on, mate. You’re on.”

  “Mind if I bail?” Josh asked. “Amy’ll be wondering where I’ve got to.”

  Johnny raised his hand. “No problem. I’d better check in with wifey, anyway—see if she’s found me anything else to do. She had me tying ribbons on little boxes this morning.” He shook his head with amusement. “And I guess you’ll be prepping for the big show, huh, Matt?”

  “Thought I’d grab a coffee first, but yeah.”

  “Well, good luck, mate. I’ll look forward to the photos.” He sniggered as he walked away.

  Matt entered the lounge and stopped dead. A girl was sitting by the window, staring out at the view. Her dark hair made him doubt his eyes, but even the passage of time couldn’t make him forget that profile. He’d know it anywhere; he’d snuck a peek at it enough times at the cinema. It almost hurt to look at her. She was as beautiful as he remembered, and the truth was, he’d never fallen out of love with her.