by S. K. Lessly
MY REDEMPTION TOO
A SECOND CHANCE SERIES
S.K. LESSLY
JESSICA WATKINS PRESENTS
CONTENTS
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” -Carl Bard
Synopsis
1. Lauren
2. Paul
3. Lauren
Paul
4. Lauren
5. Paul
Lauren
“Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to realize how much they need to fall back together.” - Unknown
6. Lauren
7. Paul
8. Lauren
9. Paul
10. Lauren
Paul
11. Lauren
Paul
Lauren
12. Paul
“Let’s start over. Who Knows? Maybe this time we won’t mess up!” -Unknown
13. Lauren
Paul
14. Paul
15. Lauren
16. Lauren
Paul
“If you are still breathing, you have a second chance.” -Oprah Winfrey
17. Lauren
18. Paul
19. Lauren
20. Lauren
21. Lauren
22. Lauren
23. Paul
Lauren
24. Paul
“When it’s real, you can’t walk away.” -Unknown
25. Lauren
26. Lauren
Paul
27. Lauren
Paul
28. Lauren
Paul
Lauren
Paul
29. Lauren
30. Lauren
Paul
31. Lauren
“Let Tomorrow be your second chance to prove that you are better than today and yesterday.”
32. Paul
Lauren
Epilogue
“Sometimes there are no second chances, no timeouts, no next time. Sometimes it’s now or never” -Unknown
The End
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” -Carl Bard
Synopsis
re·demp·tion
/rəˈdem(p)SH(ə)n/
noun
the action of saving or being saved from sin, error, or evil.
Paul Logan…
I’m in love with my neighbor. Typical, I know.
The problem is that I didn’t know how much I was in love with her until she was gone. She made the choice to leave but I let her go. Yeah, I wasn’t thinking straight. It was pride. Pride allowed me to lose the woman I couldn’t breathe without. I’m trying to exist without her but I’m failing miserably.
Damn… I need her more than I need my next breath.
She consumes my soul. I crave her, I adore her, I yearn for her. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love her. This woman is everything! She’s sexy, beautiful, smart, she loves football, which is sexy in itself. When she smiles, it lights up my entire world. It soothes the darkness that swarms around my life. She’s the light, the strength I need to live.
The woman is just… walking, breathing, talking… man she’s perfect in every way.
And I let her get away.
I’m in love with my soulmate, my best friend and if I don’t get my s*%t in order she will never be mine.
1
Lauren
I was escorting the furniture people out of my house just as the sky opened up and rain started falling. I was glad for the timing. Otherwise, my things would have been very messy and wet. Thank god for small favors, right?
It’s the middle of October, and a lot has happened to me. Let me bring you up to speed.
First thing, Sebastian kicked me out of his house. Yes, you heard correctly, his house. He came over one day with a proposition, either we got back together, or he would make this divorce drag on for so long that it would drain my pockets dry.
Yeah, those were his words exactly. I mean, he was the one that cheated, and he wanted me to suffer. His argument was, “Yes, I cheated. But you didn’t allow for us to reconcile, which I am entitled.”
After that declaration, he proceeded to argue about how we didn’t go to counseling or at least talked about what happened. Instead, I overreacted and kicked him out.
I was pissed off at that point. Seriously, how dare he, you know? I kindly told him that there was no way that I was reconciling with him. I reminded him that he was gay. Clearly he’d forgotten that tidbit, and I had no male parts so we wouldn’t work. Well, he didn’t like that at all. He actually told me that he wasn’t gay because he wasn’t a receiver, he was a giver, and that was a big difference. He also proceeded to explain that the position I had found him in was no different from what any other heterosexual guy would have done with a female.
I just gaped at him.
I couldn’t believe he was justifying his actions, trying to say that him fucking Amy, who was a guy by birth by the way and still had his boy parts, in the ass was the same as a heterosexual guy having anal with his girlfriend.
Obviously, I wasn’t dealing with a rationale person here. So with that being said, I accepted the challenge. I told him if it was a fight that he wanted, so be it. I would figure out something in order to pay for this divorce. I refused to let him get away with this shit. That’s when he told me that I had to leave, and I had two weeks to do it.
Yes, you heard right. He so graciously informed me that since the house was in his name, I had no rights in the state of New Jersey. It didn’t matter that I put a down payment on this house and I helped pay the bills, he had rights, and I didn’t. I knew it was all bullshit, but I let him talk because I knew he had something up his sleeve.
It took about ten minutes of posturing before he dropped the bomb and said to me, “Hey, I can make all this go away. All we have to do is stay married. Look, I don’t even find you attractive anymore, so we don’t have to be intimate at all.”
Well, isn't he chivalrous?
“You can have your dudes on the side, and I can have my life on the side. All I’m saying is, as far as everyone else knows, we’re still married.”
See what I mean? He’s ever the negotiator and completely delusional.
“And how long would this charade go on?” I asked him, curious to see how far his delusion went.
“Lauren, we’ve only been married for three years. You think you can give me five more years?”
My eyes grew wide as saucers at the absurdity. “Absolutely not, Sebastian! I can’t believe you right now.”
“Well, hey it’s either that or…” He shrugged. “You departing from this house with just your clothes. Everything in this place belongs to me. Even your car belongs to me. It’s in my name.”
He looked at me with this smug grin on his face and I tried not to burst my top. I knew something like this would happen. Sebastian could be a conniving son of a bitch. Therefore, I made sure I had an ace up my sleeve. I went to my briefcase, next to the front door, and pulled out our divorce papers. I sifted through the pages until I found where we had to sign. I applied my Jane Hancock and turned it to him.
“Now, let me tell you how this is going to work. Firstly, the car is in my name. I had that switched over and refinanced for a better interest rate with my credit union long ago. I take it you don’t remember signing the lease over to me? No worries, I have the documents to prove it. Secondly, you want this house fine. I want my portion of the down payment and the portion that I paid into this place, which equates to about twenty grand. And don’t worry. I have
proof of payments as well. You can fight me if you want to. You’ll lose.”
He scoffed and folded his arms across his chest.
I continued without batting an eye.
“Thirdly, you will sign on the dotted line so that we can be done with this whole sham of a marriage. Or you can drag it out, and I can take you for everything you have and make you pay me alimony until I remarry. Rest assured that you’re not the only one that can make this harder than it has to be. Don’t test me.”
He laughed at me after I finished laying things out for him and shook his head. “Sweetheart, you won’t get a dime. All I have to do is contest it and we’d be forced to go to counseling.”
“Actually, we wouldn’t. You were caught cheating. And, I might add, it was with a man. To the world, you’re batting for the same team as me, and I didn’t sign up for that. No court is going to side with you. This is more than just irreconcilable differences, and I’m quite sure that you don’t want the reason for the divorce to become public knowledge. So stop playing hardball and give up. I want out!”
“Lauren, your idle threats don’t scare me. For one, you don’t have any proof of what you’re implying. No one is going to believe you.”
I sneered at him coldly.
“Oh, they don’t have to. It’s all about perception, my dear husband. You drag me into court and I’ll tell everyone we know why we’re getting a divorce. I’ll tell how I found out and who you were with and put it all on social media.”
Sebastian’s smugness soon evaporated and was replaced with contempt.
“You do that, and I’ll sue you for defamation of character, my dear wife.”
I smiled at him.
“Yes, you could sue me, but the damage would already be done. Your clients live off perception. Those stuffy rich white Republicans you work for would drop you like a bad habit. You'd lose everything, including your precious name.” I scooted closer to him and poked him in the chest. “You knew I wanted kids. We talked about it so much we even had fucking names picked out. For you to get snipped before we were married was deplorable even for you. And I know that’s what you did, so don’t you dare lie to me.”
I paused to catch my breath and stamp down the urge to punch him in his face. Catching a case was the last thing I needed if I wanted this divorce to go my way.
With one thing left to say, I scooted even closer to him and lowered my voice to just above a whisper.
“You’ve betrayed me on so many levels, you selfish son of a bitch. I.want.out.” I grounded out that last sentence punctuating each syllable with my finger poking his chest.
Sebastian just looked at me with so much hatred in his eyes that I thought he was going to hit me. Yeah, I wish he would. I could claim temporary insanity if that happened and beat the life out of him. I could then bury him somewhere in Jersey City where no one would be able to find him. I smiled at that idea and watched the man next to me lean away from me in fear. Yeah, be very afraid, you bastard, very afraid.
The little coward stood up abruptly and started pacing back and forth in front of me, his jaw tense, body taut, and nose flared. I didn’t give a shit how pissed he was. I was pissed too, gotdamn it.
The bastard had no choice but to give me what I wanted, why was he fighting it. The odds were against him. He could try to think of a counter approach. He could attempt to trap me or get me to bend to his will. From the look on his face, I knew that he was thinking that very thing as he paced back and forth in frustrated silence. However, he knew better not to come at me. Despite everything, he knew me. He knew my history, what I was capable of, and I gave zero fucks about what he could do to me. What I could do to his precious reputation was far greater. Plus, I was sure mommy and daddy dearest had no idea what their son was into. To realize that their son wasn’t perfect would crush their little hearts and he definitely didn’t want to do that.
Finally, after at least five minutes of stewing, Sebastian stopped pacing and looked down at me. He blew out a breath then took a seat.
“You’re a fucking bitch.”
I laughed. “It takes one to know one. Sign the gotdamn papers.”
He did, and we negotiate the specifics right then and there. I didn’t want anything from him except what was due me, which was the twenty grand that I had invested into his house. I also promised to be out of said house and his life in the allotted two weeks.
After he left, I had started hyperventilating. I had no idea where I was going to live. I immediately started looking for an apartment or a house to rent, anything, that would be available in such a short period of time. I also called a few people I knew asking if they knew anyone looking for a tenant and I got lucky. One of my old coworkers from Bloomfield College told me about a guy he knew whose wife cheated and left him with the house and bills. He wanted to move right away and needed to get rid of the house as soon as humanly possible.
The house was located in Bloomfield about three blocks away from Bloomfield Avenue, heading away from the Garden State Parkway, and away from my old life. The house was a small, a forced four-bedroom house. However, the basement was finished, and the living and kitchen space was a decent size. Also, the roof and water tank were new, which was a plus.
I liked the little bungalow the first time I saw it. It needed a few coats of paint and appliance upgrades, but my appraiser said it was a pretty good investment. The owner, Mr. Rapport, was ready to get rid of the house in spite of his wife wanting it. Their situation was different from mine. He had the house before they got married and she paid zero bills towards the maintenance or upkeep. In the end, he sold it to me for a really good deal. He even gave me the keys before we signed on the dotted line telling me that I was good for it. Crazy right?
Anywho, before I moved in, I painted the living room and dining room by myself, which was exhausting, but I wanted it done before my official moved in date. The upstairs needed to be painted too, but I could do that any time. Your company typically didn’t spend time upstairs; downstairs was what counted as needing to be move-in ready.
I moved out of Sebastian's house during the middle of the day, which didn’t take a long time to do. All I had were my clothes. I made sure to take the bedroom suit I bought, though. After all, Paul and I were the ones that broke the bed in, so I couldn’t part with that bed no matter the painful memories it conjured up. I did have Sebastian deduct from the money he owed me for the bedroom suit that I destroyed. It was the least I could do.
So, the furniture people just left, dropping off my living room chairs and tables and appliances. Now the fun really began. I started putting my living room the way I really wanted it to go. The room was only big enough for an average size couch and an oversized lounge chair. Since it was only me here, it was fine. I purchased a 36-inch television and had it mounted on the wall. I also purchased one of those do-it-yourself entertainment centers, put the thing together myself, and placed it underneath the TV.
I had searched Craigslist for furniture to fill the other bedrooms I had as well as the dining room. I lucked up and found two-bedroom suits, for the two bedrooms downstairs, for a really good price. I even paid a little extra for them to deliver it. Also, during my internet shopping, I bought a small bar table with three chairs from this elderly lady. It was just the right size for the area right outside my kitchen, which added a bit of character to the space.
One of the rooms upstairs wasn’t big enough to fit a twin bed, so I turned it into an office for the time being. I really had some great ideas for that space. Hopefully, one day, I’d renovate the entire upstairs exactly the way I really wanted.
One of my favorite places in the house was the basement. It was semi-finished, and all I could think about was having a kickass chick cave down here. Mr. Rapport also had a patio built off the basement, which lead to a pretty sizable yard. If I could install a pool out there, I would make this house complete. I didn’t have it in my budget right now, plus its fall so I could wait until next year for the poo
l. For the rest of the upgrades I wanted to do, I’d have to make due with completing the small changes myself bit by bit, room by room.
This should be fun!
Everything seemed to be falling into place, except for my personal life. It fucking sucked.
I started going to the gym on a regular basis, not with the intent to get in shape mind you. I was trying to get my mind off Paul, and the longer I stayed out and away from home, the better I felt. When I was home alone, all I kept thinking about was him, reminiscing on the good ole days, which always ended with me crying myself to sleep.
I really missed the times we spent hanging out just talking or watching television. I missed seeing his handsome face, his smile, and his dimples. I missed the way he made me feel when his hands roamed my body, caressed me, filled me. I missed falling asleep in his arms, the content feeling of safety. And most of all, I missed how well he fucked me.
Goodness, that man had some serious dick game. He always satisfied me with ease, doing everything he could to make me feel oh so good. I was addicted to his touch and his taste. The man was so gifted that all he had to do was look at me and I was putty in his hands, craving for him, desiring him. He had that much control over me and I let him go.
Yes, that’s right. I fucked up so badly that half of me feels like I deserved getting my heart crushed. But Paul didn't. No. He didn’t deserve the way I treated him. I could see how much I hurt him by the look of betrayal in his eyes. And what’s even more messed up was that I couldn’t fix it.
I hated how things ended between us, but maybe it was better to let him go and move on with my life. There’s no way he was going to forgive me anyway. Nope, it was better to let dogs lay, as the saying went, for both our sakes. After all, he seemed to be doing well without me.
I heard it through the grapevine, i.e. my friend Tonya that he was dating here and there. It broke me to know he moved on, but that only encouraged me to do the same. In fact, I’ve been seeing Eugene here and there, and things were going okay.
You remember Eugene?
He was the guy that I had met at the bar the day Paul and I broke up or stopped seeing each other, whatever. We had exchanged numbers that night at the bar, and he kept asking and asking to go out with me ever since. I kept telling him no. I explained that I wasn’t looking for anyone or anything at this stage of my life. All I could be was a friend. Well, he kept at it, asking me out for coffee and drinks, saying all he wanted was to be friends too. The constant asking got to be too much and one day I finally agreed to meet him out for coffee. Coffee turned to dinner and the rest was history.
