by S. K. Lessly
Even though he and I had gone on a couple of dates, I had kept him at bay. I hadn’t even told him where I lived. It sounded strange, I know. During a few of our dates, though, I had gotten some bad vibes from him. He’d sometimes get too clingy and creepy. Luckily, I knew how to handle crazy, and I keep him in check, thus the reason why he didn’t know where I lived.
Other than that, he was fun to be around. He was funny, charming, and made me feel special when I was with him. He wasn’t Paul, but he was convenient for right now.
Speaking of the Greek god, I hadn’t spoken to or seen him since the day he gave me my key back, which was weird considering we were neighbors. Okay, it wasn’t that weird. I was avoiding him, cowardice I know. I wasn’t his favorite person right now, so why make him hate me more by seeing me. That was my logical thinking anyway. Also, I figured it would be better for us both when I moved away, which I did like a thief in the night. Was that a dick move to move out without telling him? Probably.
To be completely honest, I didn’t think he would care either way. It wasn’t as if he was looking for me or wanted to talk to me. Still, after I moved into my new house, I felt bad for sneaking away without telling him. I could’ve at least left him a note. Instead, I had convinced myself that he wouldn’t care. I figured he’d find out eventually and all would be right in the world.
Yeah, yeah, I know… but what’s done is done.
Through all of the crazy stuff happening, and the breakup of the “ten live crew”, I kept a firm hold on my friendship with Tonya. She and I spoke every day. A few days before Samson’s birthday party, I had told her about Paul and me. She had been surprised, and a bit hurt that I didn’t tell her sooner, but she understood why I didn’t. She also wasn’t shocked that we hooked up.
“Girl, the way he used to look at you, I knew it was bound to happen.”
Anyway, she and I had been catching up by phone one night, unable to meet up for at least a week due to me moving and painting. She had been listening to me whine about missing Paul, something that had been happening often, but that night had been worse. I had seen him out and he walked passed me without a second glance.
I held back the tears and admitted to her over the phone, “He was the best thing since sliced bread, and I messed it up. I hurt him so badly, Tonya.”
Tonya was silent on the phone, I assumed to let me vent, before she said softly, “He doesn’t seem too broken up about it. He's been out on a few dates.”
I gasped at her words and tried not to crumble into a blubbering mess. It was my own damn fault after all, but it didn’t hurt any less hearing that he was moving on.
After that slap in the face of reality, I realized my mistake immediately. From that day on I didn’t ask her about Paul or talk about my blunder. It wasn’t fair of me to put her in the middle for one. For two, I couldn’t handle hearing how he was moving on. But that night on the phone, I was gluten for punishment.
I tried to dismiss my shock when she told me about Paul. I had cleared my throat and tried to sound upbeat as I struggled to keep up my end of the conversation.
“Oh, so he didn’t stick it out with Sabrina?”
Tonya scoffed loudly through my phone speakers. “Girl please, he kicked her out of his house days after the party. Tyler said the only reason why it wasn’t sooner was because he had to work.”
That made me pause. I distinctively remembered hearing a male voice laughing and carrying on, along with Sabrina, coming from Paul's house during the days after the party. I had thought it was Paul. Hearing Tonya confirm he was at work, had me wondering who the hell was at his house if he wasn't. I shook my head in disgust but kept my thoughts to myself. They weren’t together, so what I knew didn’t matter.
I had quickly changed the subject and started talking about my house and the renovations that I’d been doing. No way did I want to continue talking about Paul. Obviously, that ship had sailed. I needed to concentrate on my own future, whatever that held for me I was ready.
Moving on!
My job at Montclair State was amazing. I really have a great group of kids in my classes this quarter. They knew I wasn’t much older than they were, but I made sure I had my shit together. The worst thing you could do was have the people you teach not respect you. I definitely tried to make their reading experiences fun and interesting by incorporating current situations, current events, or even relevant people to get them to understand and remember what they’ve read. I was dealing with eighteen and nineteen-year-olds, so it wasn’t always easy, but I was having a great time doing what I loved.
I had also met a fellow professor that was actually crazier than I was. Her name was Elizabeth Broody, Lizzy for short. Lizzy was the theater arts professor, and I loved her. She was shorter than me, curvy, with a dark complexion, and short reddish-brown hair. She was compact, but her mouth and personality made up for her height disadvantage.
She and I have been out on many occasions, painting the town whatever color we wanted and feeling out our twenties as we should be. She wasn’t single like I was. She was engaged to a Latin guy from Puerto Rico, who, let her tell it, was just as feisty.
She had confessed to me one day how she loved getting him angry just to hear him cuss her out in Spanish. Apparently, it was turn on for her. She explained further that their argument would then end with them having hot passionate sex. I told her she was crazy until I saw her fiancé in person. The man was fine as hell. He was tall and lean with a great body and an even better smile. When she introduced me to him, and he smiled, I blushed like a schoolgirl.
I had told her later, “Yeah, I can see why you pick fights, holy shit!” She just nodded and smiled.
She was a very lucky woman, for sure.
* * *
It took a few hours for me to get my new place in order, but I finally finished later in the early evening. My wall paintings were hung up where I wanted them to be, the end tables were placed next to the couch with lamps plugged in and my family photos, i.e., my nieces and nephews, were hung up for visual consumption. Satisfied with my handiwork, I stepped back and admired the finished product.
“Not bad Lauren Kelly, not bad at all.”
I looked around my space. This was the start of a new chapter in my life. I needed to forget about the past and look to my future. The possibilities were endless for me. All I needed to do was stay the course and I believed everything would fall in its rightful place.
Taking one last look around, making sure that I was done with everything, I went upstairs to take a shower. I was meeting a few of my old colleagues from Bloomfield College out for a few drinks. I had invited Eugene to come out with me. This would be his first test. So far, we’ve been out just the two of us. I wondered now how he would be with my friends. Honestly, this was ass backwards. I should have met him out with friends first so that they could gauge his crazy and tell me to stay away. Oh well, it was never too late, right?
I had instructed Eugene to meet me at Sebastian’s house around six, which left me no time to get ready. I jumped in the shower to quickly wash the sweat and dust off my body. Once I got out of the shower, I moisturized my body and got dressed, putting on a pair of black skinny jeans, a red sweater that fell off one of my shoulders, and black leather platform riding books. I pulled my hair into a high ponytail and threw on some accessories. To bring my look home, I decorated my lips with red lipstick and my eyes with smoky eyeshadow and mascara. I gave myself visual approval using my body length mirror in my room before heading out to meet Eugene.
The drive to Sebastian's house took about twenty minutes. I pulled up in front of the house next door to Sebastian's to wait for Eugene. My old neighbor, Mr. Lawry was outside putting carved pumpkins on the porch. I smiled and waved at him before turning off my car, locking the door, and stepping out. I saddled up to him and watched him decorate his porch for Halloween until Eugene pulled up in a black BMW coupe.
This was the first time I allowed Eugene to pick me up. H
e looked around the neighborhood then at Mr. Lawry.
“Is this where you live?” he asked me.
I shook my head, not hating it at all I was about to lie to him.
“Nope, I live there.” I pointed to Sebastian's house without a bit of guilt. I just hoped Mr. Lawry didn’t give me up.
When I looked over at him, he smiled at me approvingly. Who wasn’t smiling was Eugene. He looked at the house, then at my car before settling his dark eyes on me. I knew he was questioning why I was parked in front of my neighbor’s house instead of in my driveway as if I lived next door.
I met his gaze with a nonchalant look as if nothing was amiss. However, when a questioning look came over his features, I knew I needed a diversion and quick. He needed to believe I lived here and from the look in his eyes he was skeptical.
A thought quickly popped in my head and I started rummaging through my purse as if I forgot something.
“Oh shoot,” I blurted, creasing my brows together. I looked up at Eugene apologetically. “I forgot something in the house.”
“What did you forget?”
I smiled. “My tampons. I’ll be right back.” I briskly started for Sebastian’s house praying his screen door was unlocked. You could only lock it from the inside and he hated entering the house from the back door. Also, the screened in porch was translucent from the street without the porch light being on. I could walk inside, stand on the porch for a period of time and pretend I was actually inside the house.
Yes, this would work.
“Do you need me to come with you?” Eugene called after me.
“Nope, I got it. I’ll be right back.”
Do you see now why I won’t give him my true address? Freaking crazy.
2
Paul
“Hey Logan, you think we're gonna do it this year?”
I looked over at the sound of the voice confused as hell. I blinked at him a few times to allow my brain to catch up with his words.
Deuce Alvarez, a fellow firefighter, caught on to my confusion and nodded to the TV. “The Giants, man. Do you think we’re gonna take it this year?
This week I was on loan to a local firehouse a few blocks from my own. I was covering for a buddy of mine while he was on vacation. I had been slouched down into the leather couch in the common area watching SportsCenter or rather it had been watching me. My mind had been elsewhere ever since I sat my ass down. Seeing that Deuce was waiting on an answer, I cleared my throat and tried to get my head back into the here and now.
“Are you actually asking me if the Giants are going to make a successful run for the Super Bowl this year?”
He nodded. “Yeah, of course, I am. You don’t think so?” I narrowed my eyes on him, and he had the nerve to shrug his shoulders. “What? I know it looks dismal right now, but we can turn it around, don’t you think?”
I shook my head and looked at the TV. The sports analysts had moved on from the Giants and started talking about the Eagles and how hot they were starting out. A pang of something I won’t name hit my chest right then. It had gotten easier not to think about her as the days went by. But every now and then, it got tough, especially when I would catch sight of her at the grocery store or see her car parked outside her house.
I was still battling with myself on not going next door and ending this hell, but I refused to. I continued to remind myself that this was her doing. If she wanted things to be different between us, she would make that happen. However, when I thought about it, she did attempt to smooth things between us, and I shot her down. In my defense, I had thought she moved on. Evidently, I was wrong, but by then the damage had been done. I needed to accept it and move on.
I cleared my throat and looked over at Deuce. He was younger than me, stocky, close to my height with dark hair and eyes. He's been with the department for about two years, still wet behind the ears and clearly delusional.
Sensing my rebuttal in my eyes, he pointed to the television.
“Before you say it, yeah, I know we lost our first five games. But that doesn’t mean we can’t crawl back. Watch. We're gonna beat Denver next week and make an unbelievable run to the Super Bowl.”
See what I mean, delusional.
I folded my arms in front of my chest and shook my head at the idiot.
“Right, let me get this straight. You think we're going to make a comeback from being oh and five. Do I have that right? We lost our key player in preseason, Manning is playing like shit, and we have no offense. And you think we're going to take the division or at best be a wild card contender?”
Deuce smacked his hands together with excitement gleaming in his eyes.
“Exactly.”
“Yeah, no. That shit’s not happening.”
His face fell a bit from my declaration, but then it brightened and he smiled at me. He waged a finger at me and shook his head.
“Have faith, brother. Things are going to get better for the G-men, mark my words.”
I scoffed and started to tell him exactly how I felt about faith and where he could shove it when I felt my phone vibrate.
“Hey, you at home?” Samson asked me the second that I answered his call. I could hear the loud rumbles of his truck in the background, which immediately put me on edge. Samson wouldn’t call me while he was on the job unless it was an emergency.
“No, remember I’m doing overtime at House 87 in Belleville. Why what’s up?”
“Don’t panic, but we just got a call to Sebastian’s house. There’s a fire.”
The hairs on the back of my neck started to rise, as I knew what the implications were. I remained calm though as I spoke. “Okay, so are you there yet?”
“Yeah, we’re turning the corner now. Holy shit, you need to get down here.”
Fuck!
I stood quickly, ignoring the concerned look on Deuce's face and ended the call. I started for the chief’s office, all the while trying to think of a reason to give him on why I had to leave, when the bell sounded. I stopped in my tracks and waited to hear the address.
As soon as I heard the first few numbers of Sebastian’s address, I was in motion. I ran to the truck and grabbed my gear. The edginess growing with each movement I made had me running on overdrive. And Samson’s voice had made it worse. I just hoped I got there in time.
* * *
When we drove up to the scene, I was out of the truck before it settled. I stopped once I was close and just stared. Samson wasn’t exaggerating when he said holy shit. Flames licked every crevice of Sebastian's house. Black smoke billowed into the night sky. I was surprised that the shell of the house was still standing.
Samson and his team were fighting a losing, battle but they continued to water down the flames. I caught a glimpse of my team going door to door to help get everyone that was home out of their houses just in case the fire spread. Snapping out of my trance, I directed my temporary team to get their hoses linked up and to get to work getting water onto the houses sitting on either side of Sebastian’s, including mine.
Once I had truck 87 doing their job, I walked up to my chief to assess the situation.
“Chief, were you guys able to see if the house was empty?” I asked.
Chief Michaels looked solemnly at me.
“Yes, the house was deemed empty. Tank and a couple of our guys entered the property to look around before the fire got too big. There was no answer to their calls, and there wasn’t a car in the driveway.”
I nodded my head and looked around the scene, making sure everything was running smoothly. There were a few of our guys escorting my neighbors to safety, one of them being an elderly lady named Mrs. Lawry. Relief washed over me to see her being helped across the street until I noticed a very familiar car parked directly in front of Mrs. Lawry’s house.
I squinted my eyes to study the car. The make of the car was an Infinity, and while I knew it was a very popular car, the license plate number wasn’t.
“Shit!” I blurted, excused myself fr
om my chief, and quickly made my way to Mrs. Lawry. The car parked in front of her house belonged to Lauren.
I managed to keep my shit together as I approached my neighbor. I didn’t want to frighten her. She looked as frazzled as I was, and I didn’t want to add to her unease. However, as I looked around the growing crowd, Lauren wasn’t among them.
I made it to Mrs. Lawry as one of my guys from my firehouse helped her step up on the sidewalk across from her house. I took her other arm, and together we guided her to a neighbor's front porch. We helped Mrs. Lawry lower herself onto a lounge chair then I knelt in front of her.
“Mrs. Lawry, how are you doing? Are you okay?” I asked, needing to do my job first and foremost.
Mrs. Lawry nodded her head and patted my hand. “Oh yes dear, I’m fine. What about Sebastian, he wasn’t home was he?”
I shook my head and tried not to freak her out with my next question. “No ma'am, he wasn’t home, but I want to ask you about Lauren. Her car is parked in front of your home. Have you seen her?”
Mrs. Lawry looked a bit startled and confused as she looked over my shoulder to the front of her house.
“Oh, why yes! That looks like her car, but I hadn’t seen Lauren in weeks I think.”
“Okay. What about Mr. Lawry, is he home?”
“Oh no, he’s not home. He went to the store. Do you think the fire is going to move to our house? Oh, dear Lord.”
I could see the sweet woman start to get upset again. I stood and directed my guy to bring the paramedic over here to check her vitals and make sure that she was alright.
