by S. K. Lessly
Lauren reached up and touched her fingertips to my face. She fingered the beard I had grown then touched my lips before she placed a chaste kiss against them.
“I’ve missed you.”
I smiled and cleared my throat. I didn’t want to sound as needy and desperate as I felt, it would mess with the caveman persona I was putting on. “I’ve missed you too. I told you, that’s why I’m here.”
She smirked at me. “I thought you were here to claim what’s yours.”
My lips curled into a grin, and I pushed my unhappy hard dick against her. “What do you think I was trying to do before you stopped me?” I trapped her face between my hands. “I’m claiming what’s mine, what has been mine for a long time. It’s time that you stopped running from me.”
She shook her head and replied in a soft voice, “I don’t want to run anymore.”
I took some time to study her face for any mistruths. I didn’t see any.
“Good,” I replied simply then pulled her close to me and placed a peck to her lips. I kissed her again and started to deepen the kiss when a groggy male voice called to us from the doorway of the basement.
“You better not be banging my sister on my suede couch. In fact, you better not be banging my sister period.”
We broke apart laughing.
“If I was, I guarantee you I’m not now,” I responded dryly.
“Good, I don’t need those thoughts in my head when I see my couch. You two want breakfast?”
“Yes, please. Waffles with strawberries, eggs, and bacon sound great,” Lauren called back.
“Yeah. Of course it does,” he replied sarcastically but I didn’t miss the surprise that initially surfaced in his voice. “Paul?”
Grinning at her, I shook my head. “Whatever you’re making is fine with me, thanks, Mark.”
“See, that’s how you're supposed to show gratitude,” Mark shot back.
Lauren shook her head and moved off my lap. She settled next to me on the couch, her legs crossed, facing me.
“Yeah, I’ll make a mental note of that,” she responded looking over her shoulder at the direction of her brother’s voice before her smiling face met mine.
“Uh-huh, sure you will,” he muttered back before he shut the door to the basement.
Lauren’s smile turned shy, which made my chest swell. A deep, burning need to claim her right here in her brother's basement wanted to take over again. The only reason why I didn’t was the hesitation that I saw in her eyes.
“What is it, Lauren?” I asked her.
I shifted, my arm resting on the back of the sectional, and faced her. I unfolded one of her legs and placed it across my lap. It felt as if she was pulling away from me, and I didn’t like that one damn bit. Wanting her closer, no needing her closer, I gripped her underneath her knee and pulled slightly. She got the hint and shifted closer to me. I traced the contour of her thighs with my hand, loving the smoothness of her skin, wanting more but accepting just this.
Lauren didn’t answer me right away. Instead, she huffed out a sigh and dropped her eyes to my chest. She started running her fingers along my pecs, my abs, keeping my shirt between her touch and my heated skin.
I loved this woman's touch, especially on my bare skin. The feeling of her soft hands, exploring every inch of me, always had me losing my mind. I wanted nothing more than to lift my shirt and feel her fingertips caress me. However, I knew if that happened, we would definitely be fucking on this couch.
I brought my finger underneath her chin and lifted her head so that her eyes were on me. I did my best to hide the anger I felt from seeing the hesitation, the uncertainty in her eyes. I loved this woman. Didn’t she know that?
A thought then occurred to me, how would she know that? It’s not like you told her how you felt. Damn, I was such an idiot.
“Tell me what’s on your mind, baby,” I encouraged, my voice lowered and void of the tension my body possessed.
Lauren shrugged and said in a low tone. “Are you scared?”
I tilted my head to the side and regarded her, “Scared of what?”
“Scared of this, of us.” She pointed at herself and then me, all the while her eyes held this insecurity that gutted me.
“Yeah, baby, of course, I am.” I swiped along her cheeks with my thumb, the need to keep touching her, heavy. “I just don’t care anymore.”
“What about the naysayers we'll come across when people see us. I mean are you ready for what we would have to go through being together? What if we can’t handle it? What if it causes too much trouble to be together than it is to be apart? What about the color thing?”
My brows turned inward unable to hide my frustration. “Lauren, I could give two fucks about what others say or think and you shouldn’t either. Fuck them.”
“I know, but—”
“No. No buts. I don’t care what other people would say, or could say. All I care about is you and me."
I steadied my heated gaze on her, making sure she saw the confidence and assurance in my eyes. I didn’t give a shit about the color thing or what anyone said or thought about us being together. I meant that on everything. Back when we first hooked up, yeah, I wondered if she would be happy with me. And yes, I wondered if the color of my skin would be an issue for her, but that was it. I never cared what others would think or thought about us being together, only what she thought about us.
“Lauren, what I feel for you runs deeper than I could ever explain. I fell for you the moment I asked if you needed me to change your tire.”
Her eyes went round. “You did?” she asked me, her voice soft and low.
“Yeah, sweetheart, I did.” I reached for her hand, brought it to my lips, and kissed her fingers.
“Fuck, Lauren. We both screwed this up in so many ways. I should have told you so many things a long time ago. I took for granted that we had time when all the while you were battling on whether you and I fit together.”
Lauren shook her head ready to counter, but I held up my hand to stop her.
“No, listen. I realized we both messed up trying to run from our past mistakes. We were trying to forget the issues we faced and the wrong decisions you and I both made in our past relationships instead of talking about them with each other. I want to change that.”
I shifted and caged her face between my hands. “All we need to do from here on end is focus on us. I want you to focus on me, baby. And I guarantee you that you’re the only person I’m focused on. Nothing else and no one else matters but you and me, yeah?”
She nodded and I dropped my hands and resumed caressing her soft bare thighs.
“It’s time that we lay it all out for each other. Create a new slate if you will. No more hiding behind rickety walls we built thinking we were protecting each other from ourselves. It's time for complete autonomy. I'll start. Sabrina and I should have never held on for as long as we did. We poisoned each other, poisoned ourselves. We both fell out of love a long time ago, but were too stupid to realize it or acknowledge it. I held on because of complacency and duty.” I chuckled mirthlessly. “That doesn’t sound romantic at all does it?” Lauren shook her head. I rubbed her hand with the pad of my thumb, just to do something, to feel something other than self-loathing for how I behaved in a marriage that had been over for at least a year.
“I realized too late that I should’ve been the bigger person and let her go. I was unhappy and hell, if I was being honest, so was she, and I knew that. I just… I don’t know. I didn’t want to be like my parents or hers. I didn’t want to fail at this. I wanted to fight for us. Fight for a friendship I knew we had. At first, I chalked it up to us having a bad patch in our relationship. Every couple has them, right? But after a while, I knew.” I expelled a frustrated sigh. “She and I became exactly what we both loathed at that time. We became just like our parents.”
I let go of her hand and went back to caressing her leg and I continued to lay it all out for her, no more holding back.
She smiled that brilliant smile of hers, and I damn near dove for her. I stretched the arm resting on the back of the couch toward her and ran my fingers lightly along her cheek.
“Woman, you undid me the second those chocolate eyes met mine. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my life. I actually stumbled slightly as I approached when you gave me that smile of yours.”
Her eyebrows rose, and I could have sworn she blushed. “You did? I didn’t notice,” she mused, still grinning, her smile lighting up her face.
“Good, I’m glad you didn’t.”
I lightly tapped her nose with my finger before pulling my arm back. Mind you, my other hand never left her thigh, caressing, squeezing, and getting my fill any way I could.
“Paul, I don’t know how you’re here. How you can look at me like you are, and how you could feel the way that you do? The way I treated you, the things I said…” she shook her head. “I know I screwed this up very badly. I want to say it had everything to do with the way Sebastian treated me and some of it does. I second-guessed myself a lot. I wondered if I was enough, could I be enough to keep you when I couldn't keep my husband. For a while, I thought something was wrong with me, and that feeling was foreign to me. I had always been a confident woman, but Sebastian rocked that assurance within. People can say ‘it’s not you it’s me’, but I know that’s a crock of shit sometimes. I let my fear dictate my happiness, and I sabotaged us. I broke you, I broke us, and I don’t know how to fix it. Add in insecurities and my impulsive behavior, and I’m a mess. I suck at making smart choices, and now I’m so fucked up in the head that I can’t even sleep through the night without screaming from the memories of…” she trailed off, and I could see the tears welling in her eyes.
I tugged on her leg again, this time pulling her leg over my lap. I sat up, gripped her ass, and placed her on my lap. She wouldn’t look at me. Her eyes stayed on her hands that rested on my sides. She fisted my shirt, her shoulders sagging in defeat.
“How can you still want me after…” she began to say but stopped.
I was stunned and quite honestly pissed the fuck off. I couldn’t believe she would question me. I considered the woman before me and saw the hesitation and sensed the fear that continued to hold her captive.
What the fuck?
What happened to the confident, cocky-ass woman that I knew and loved? That son of a bitch took more from her than I thought.
I watched as she reached up to her neck and touched her fingers to her skin. My eyes naturally followed the movement, and I saw the scar. I narrowed my eyes as she tried to cover her neck with her hand. I pushed her hand away, trapped her face in between my hands, and tilted her head so that her eyes were on me.
Rage started growing deep within, and I fought it back. She didn’t need my anger. She needed my strength, my loyalty, my love, and most of all she needed me. I took a deep breath and gave her what she needed.
With my hands along the sides of her beautiful face, I pushed my fingers through her hair. I tightened my hold on her making sure she didn’t miss what I was about to say to her.
“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Her breath hitched in her throat, her eyes wide as she studied me. I kept going, the need to finally tell her exactly how I felt about her taking over.
“God, baby, you mean everything to me. I was stupid to think that I could be without you and move on from the woman that has my heart— the same woman that owns me body, mind, and soul. Ever since Samson’s party, I’ve been lost without you. I am in love with you, Lauren Michelle Kelly. I feel like I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you, hell since the moment I was born.”
Lauren whispered my name and tried to look away from me, but I held her still.
“No, baby you need to hear this so that there’s no more doubt about the way I feel about you.” I paused and held her with my eyes, making sure she was paying close attention. I could see the unshed tears she tried to hold in check, and I knew I had her right where I wanted her.
“I want you, Lauren. There’s no other woman for me but you. It took me a second too long to realize that and put away my pride, but now that I’m here, I’m never letting you go. I love everything there is about you. I love your spirit and your fire. I love to see you smile and how your face lights up when you see me. I can’t explain what seeing you smile does to me. It energizes me, it fills me with strength. I feel like I’m Superman and you’re the sun. And let’s not forget to mention that laugh of yours. Every time I hear it, it chases all the evil, all of the darkness, in my life away.”
She smiled at me. Her tears no longer trapped in their cages, but freely falling as she breathed out a sigh of relief, at least that’s how I was taking it. I placed my hands on the sides of her cheeks, wiping her tears with my thumbs.
“I love the way you make me feel. You drive me in-fuckin-sane with need and desire and it scares the shit out of me sometimes. How can I want you so much? How can I need you so desperately? It has to be unhealthy, but I don’t care. The way I feel about you is the best feeling I have ever had in my entire life. God made you for me, baby, and I thank him every day. I…”
Lauren cut me off in mid-sentence by crashing her lips to mine, essentially swallowing the rest of my declaration in a kiss that was just as desperate and needy as I felt. Our tongues met in a frenzy that set my entire soul on fire.
“Please, stop,” she gasped as she pulled away from me. She rested her forehead against mine breathing hard. I felt equally out of control as I rubbed her back underneath the robe she still wore, wanting more but again accepting whatever she was giving me.
When she leaned back, she looked at me, her eyes red-rimmed and glossed over. She touched my face, and fuck the light in her eyes, the love had my heart ready to explode.
“I love you too,” she admitted on a whisper. “…so got damn much it hurts to be without you. You’re my best friend, my lifeline, my soul. I can’t see myself with anyone else but you. I don’t want anyone else but you. I’ve never wanted anything or anyone more than I want and need you. The way you make me feel… the way you look at me and touch me, it’s nothing that I’ve ever felt before. You make me feel secure and safe, desired, and most of all loved. I want to give myself to you, body, heart, mind, and soul if you'll have me. Please say you’ll have me.”
“Fuck, Lauren,” I whispered, my voice low deep and filled with so much emotion I couldn’t see straight. I crashed my lips to hers, my turn to shut her up. I turned us both and pinned her back to the couch, devouring her lips, claiming what’s been mine since she took her first breath and would be mine well after she takes her last. I had so much time to make up for — what better time than to start now.
Lauren wrapped her legs around my waist, and I grinded against her, kissing down her neck, my hands squeezing and massaging her ass.
Damn, she felt so good underneath me. I wanted more, and I needed more. I went back to her mouth and delved my tongue between her lips. Her taste shook me to my core every single time I kissed her.
We were sloppy, hungry, and needy with this kiss. Our tongues danced and caressed each other, revving up the ache that was festering in us both. It’s been months, got damn months, and I needed her.
I shifted to the side to slip a hand between us. I was just about to plunge my eager fingers into her panties ready to find out just how much she
needed me, when Mark threw cold water on us; figuratively of course.
“Breakfast is ready. Can you two stop groping each other so that we can eat?”
I broke away from her lips and rested my forehead against the side of her head. I groaned loudly, and I could have sworn my dick did too.
Lauren laughed, turned her head, and kissed me.
“To be continued,” she whispered.
I groaned again. “Tell that to my dick.”
She laughed again. It wasn’t funny.
Reluctantly, I shifted over so she could get up and laid on my back. She wrapped her robe around her body and smiled down at me.
“You coming?”
I looked at her and placed my palm on the bulge stretching the front of my jeans and pushed down, trying to reposition the fucker. “I want to, can’t you tell?”
Could she not find another term to use?
“Come on. Let’s eat.”
I closed my eyes and groaned, my mind visualizing her on her knees, my dick nestled in between those beautiful sexy ass lips of her. Damn, I bet her pussy was soaked for me.
My dick twitched in my jeans at the thought of sinking deep inside her sweet folds.
“Just go, woman. I'll be there in a minute.”
Laughing she disappeared up the steps, and my dumbass watched her go, unable to stop staring at her ass swaying with each step.
A got damn tease, that’s what she is…
I finally got myself together enough to make an appearance. Mark looked up as I emerged from the basement and shook his head. Maria looked at me with a smirk on her face. I ignored them both and found a seat next to Lauren.
The breakfast hit the spot. The waffles were amazing, homemade I assumed. The eggs were fluffy and bacon crisp. Lauren had tempted me to stay for the rest of the day, but I couldn’t. I had to get back on the road in an hour or so. I had to work today. Yeah, I know I was torturing myself coming here to see her. I hadn’t thought everything through when I jumped out of bed and drove two and a half maybe three hours to Philly in the middle of the night. I just had to see her. It was either drive down here and risk being dog tired at work or go out of my mind, so driving it was.
