My Redemption Too: a Second Chance series

by S. K. Lessly

  Melissa frowned. “I’ve been trying to do that for like an hour now. Every time I hold her, she cries bloody murder.”

  I shrugged. “She loves her god mom.”

  Sabrina walked over to us then, a sweet smile on her face, her eyes on Taylor. “Aww, can I hold her?” she asked Tonya. Tonya shrugged an okay, and I gave the baby to her.

  I placed the baby in Sabrina’s arms, and Taylor was fine at first. She even let Sabrina rock her for every bit of a minute. But that soon changed. Taylor started squirming in Sabrina’s arms, her face frowned up. She then she let out a cry that pierced through the atmosphere. I bit back a smile as Sabrina desperately tried to console her, bouncing her up and down and patting her back gently. Taylor, my girl, wasn’t having it. I took her back, and Taylor slowly stopped. It took some time to get her to calm down, but I managed to do it, talking to her sweetly.

  “Let me take you away from these bad women,” I said in my pouting baby voice.

  Melissa shook her head and smiled at me. “Well, we can see who her favorite will be.”

  I met her mirth-filled smile with a genuine grin of my own. “That’s ‘cause she knows I’m going to be the best god mom and auntie ever.” Melissa rolled her eyes at me, but her smile never faltered.

  Not long ago, I had learned the true reason why I wasn’t one of Melissa’s favorite people. Sebastian had been spreading lies about me. I had a chance to dispel all of the rumors she heard about me one night and believe me there were quite a few.

  Melissa and Samson had been to our house for dinner and drinks on many occasions. This one night, in particular, she and I had a come to Jesus meeting. Paul and Samson had made a liquor/beer and food run, which left us by ourselves for an extensive period of time.

  We talked the whole time they were gone, airing out the past, with a large pitcher half-filled of margaritas between us. She kindly informed me that my name was mud way before I arrived in New Jersey, as far as herself, Amy, David, and Sabrina were concerned. Apparently, my so-called husband at the time told them he had caught me cheating with a married man. He had forgiven me, because he loved me so much, and took me back. He also told them we were in counseling to work through my issues. I had promised him I’d change and be a one-man woman, but he wasn’t holding his breath. He told them that I had been denying him sex for months, and he feared I would eventually find it somewhere else.

  What a load of crock, right?

  This bastard had gone on and on telling them lies upon lies about me. He blamed me for shit he did. Listening to her tell me all of the lies Sebastian told, I could see why I wasn’t liked very well by the other girls. I sounded like a complete and utter bitch. I had to hand it to Sebastian though, it was genius the way he manipulated everyone. He made it out to seem like everything he did for me was because he had to, not because he wanted to. As I said before, the man knew how to put on a sympathy show.

  Once she was done with her tale, I looked at her, my eyes wide in disbelief. It wasn’t because of the things Sebastian had said about me, it was the fact that everyone believed him. The stories he told, the lies, they just seemed so farfetched and unbelievable. How could they think that about me?

  I had started to ask her how in the hell she could believe the shit he was spewing, but I thought against it. For one, Sebastian was the master at manipulation. He was a charlatan. He could spin a web of lies so tight that you wouldn’t know when the truth ended and the lies began. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to blame anyone, especially Melissa.

  Let me explain. Melissa's upbringing, which was the reason why I didn’t question her bullshit meter, was different. This woman came from a strict middle-class Hispanic family. They were devout Catholics. Her parents owned two restaurants, one in Passaic, NJ, the other in Paterson. She was brought up in private schools and was a good wholesome girl who got good grades and never talked back to her parents. She lived a very sheltered life and was completely clueless about the wolves that existed in this world.

  Hell, I was surprised her and Samson dated much less got married. On second thought, no I wasn’t. Samson was a sweetheart. He was a big man but was such a teddy bear. She probably fell in love with him the moment she saw him.

  Samson was a protector by nature, and I knew the moment she found herself in his presence, she felt safe and cherished. I also knew once her family met the big man, they knew he would take care of their daughter. Besides, the man was also Catholic, go figure. According to Melissa’s parents, he was already in the family; a match made in heaven.

  So due to her upbringing, I gave Melissa a pass on believing Sebastian's bullshit. Plus, as I said, the man was a professional puppeteer. She had no way to protect herself from Sebastian. No one did if I was being honest. Everyone thought the man was this upstanding, devoted husband, and friend. Little did anyone know he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. He even had me fooled so what did that tell you about his skills.

  What’s even more messed up was Sebastian telling Melissa he thought I was gunning for Sabrina’s husband. She said that’s when she started her hate committee. She believed everything he told her mainly because she witnessed just how close Paul and I had seemingly become overnight. The little lying shit also told her that he suspected I had been the reason why Sabrina cheated in the first place.

  Subsequently, I had a lot of mending to do. I broke everything down to her and told her what really happened between Sebastian and I. I told her about the lack of sex, and I was drinking so I had loose lips. I told her how it had been the other way around, he barely touched me for weeks, freaking months, as well as contradicted all the lies he told. Then I explained my relationship with Paul and how we were just friends at the time. We never crossed any lines until after we left our spouses.

  I thought it would be a hard sell at first, but she kindly told me she knew all of that and more. Her husband set her straight one day and told her everything. He explained how Sabrina was cheating on Paul, something that apparently, she knew nothing about, and had been for some time. Melissa had been surprised to hear about her friend but knew it was a matter of time before Sabrina spiraled out of control. She wasn’t a fan of the partying Sabrina was doing, the drinking and hanging out with her single friends. She didn’t want to believe her friend would cheat on Paul, but she wasn’t surprised when Samson told her all of her dirt.

  She was surprised when he told her about Sebastian and his preference. I was also surprised when she told me he and Amy had been hooking up for a while.

  I looked at her strangely, my large glass of margarita poised at my mouth, as I asked, “What do you mean for a while?”

  Melissa shifted in her seat and regarded me warily. “Well, Samson told me that Paul would sometimes hear someone having sex during the middle of the day and he thought it was you and Sebastian until you said you and Sebastian hadn’t had sex in like weeks.”

  I leaned away from her. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  She shook her head. “Nope, not kidding, at least that’s what Samson told me. Now granted I wouldn’t have believed him, but that time when we went to the beach, I saw Sebastian coming out of Amy’s room at like three a.m. You know Amy and David’s room was next to ours, and we heard someone going at it for hours that night. So, I peeked out of the door and saw Sebastian coming out, kissing Amy as he left.”

  You could imagine how pissed off I was when she told me that bit of news. I wanted to find Sebastian and kill him and Amy that day. I couldn’t believe he had fucked someone in our bed, the same bed I slept in no less, for god only knew how long. I mean yes, I had known that but hearing it again pissed me off even more. I felt dirty and stupid too. As I thought back to that time, I just hoped he had the decency to change the sheets.

  Later that night, I had it out with Paul for not telling me about his suspicions. He went on and explained why he kept it from me and I understood his reasoning. If he came to me with that news back then, I wouldn’t have believed him. Yes, I had
suspicions, but the headspace I had been in during that time, I probably would have taken my frustrations out on messenger. He then went on to explain what he heard from Tyler, that he witnessed Sebastian kiss Amy in Myrtle Beach.

  Well what do you know? It seemed everyone knew what was going on but me. I felt like a true idiot and a fool, let me tell you.

  So, needless to say, I was extremely proud of myself that I didn’t commence to whooping some ass the moment I saw Sebastian and Amy on Samson’s backyard patio. I was still pissed as hell, but I was over it enough to refrain from committing first-degree murder on Memorial Day weekend. However, I make no promises on the 4th of July.

  When Paul finally appeared on the patio, he headed right for Taylor and me. “How’s my girl?” he said to her and kissed her on her cheek.

  He then spoke to and hugged Tonya, Melissa, and surprisingly Sabrina.

  “It’s good to see you,” he said to her.

  She smiled up at him. “You too.” Wait? Is she blushing?

  And that’s how the day started off. Everyone was nice and cordial. If the day was any indication of what the night was going to be like, things were looking good— that was until the alcohol started flowing.

  Tonya went to take Taylor to the babysitter’s, and when she came back the women of the group started to unwind on one side of the patio, and the men folk of the group sat around and drank beers, played dominoes and cards on the other side. All was well with the world.

  Melissa had cranked up the music, once the drinks were flowing and we really started to unwind. I realized later that night, when the backyard was consistently spinning, that Melissa’s main goal was to get us extremely drunk. We were taking shots after shots after shots and dancing and laughing and reminiscing about our pasts.

  The men were still on the other side of the patio, playing cards and bonding through the night, but they were still drinking just as much as we were.

  And that’s how the night progressed for all of us. The women were cutting it up, getting loud and tore up on our makeshift dance floor, especially when line dancing songs came on. The impromptu line dancing classes started and that was comic relief all by itself, no lie. It's true, white people have no rhythm, and apparently, neither did Tonya and Catholic Hispanics.

  Paul and I played it cool for the majority of the night, which I wanted to point out wasn’t my idea. We interacted with each other, he wasn’t ignoring me, but we weren’t all over each other. He did kiss me a few times. He’d notice that my glass was empty and he’d come over to me and fill up my glass with more margaritas. He’d then kiss the top of my head and went back to his card game. Endearing wasn’t it? Yeah, that was sarcasm if you didn’t know.

  Make no mistake, I did try to rouse some PDA from him. I had moseyed over to where he was a couple of times during the night to check on him. I nibbled on his plate, I tried to talk to him about his hand, I even tried to get him to sneak away with me, but he was so engrossed in his game that I didn’t think he realized I was there sometimes. I chalked it up to him just hanging out with the guys. When he was ready to fill me up, he’d come find me, I was sure of it.

  As the night went on, things got ahh interesting. I started to notice something that was a little disturbing. As the world spun on its axis, faster than normal I might add, I noticed Sabrina watching Paul like she wanted to eat him up right then and there. She was so extra with her attention, laughing at his jokes and doing a little bit more touching than I thought was appropriate. You know, like squeezing his forearm or slapping his exposed bicep, and she was doing this while sitting on her date's lap.

  I was trying not to let it get to me, but when my own man wasn’t showing me much attention, I was starting to get hot under the collar.

  Now, I know what you’re thinking, but you know what jealousy and alcohol combined could do to a person, a woman at that.

  I knew Paul loved me, but typically in these types of party settings, Paul would have already sought me out and groped me by now or kissed me or whispered something nasty in my ear. Tonight, however, nothing. My boy scout was acting just like… a boy scout.

  On the other hand, I may not have gotten the attention I wanted from my man, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t getting attention from someone. I had noticed Sebastian watching me while I was dancing with the girls. If I turned to look over in the guy’s direction, he would turn his head slightly trying to play it off, but I noticed.

  I would then look at Paul, and it would seem he wasn’t paying any attention, which pissed me off and made me a bit self-conscious. This was insane. I shouldn’t let petty things bother me. I needed to be bigger than that. After all, I was drunk as hell, and everything gets exacerbated when you’re drunk.

  I decided to take my drunk ass in the house and put my jealousy in check. I was completely overreacting, and I knew it. Paul wasn’t ignoring me. I knew this. He was playing cards with his boys having a great time, just as I was hanging out with my girls. This was not the same as the night of Samson’s party. We came here together and, in a few hours, or so, we were leaving together, end of story.

  Once I made it to the bathroom, I splashed cold water on my face in an effort to sober up. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and shook my head in disgust. I was better than this. Paul and I were better than our past. We had countless conversations about all of the mistakes we made and we vowed to always communicate with each other no matter what. The way I was behaving was going against everything we talked about and agreed upon.

  I took a deep breath and willed my jealousy to cease and desist. I made plans to march out of this bathroom with my head held high. The second I stepped outside, I would locate my man and conveniently stick my tongue down his throat until he whisks me away and fucks my brains out, preferably in this very bathroom like we always do when we come over here.

  Grinning with a plan set, I walked out of the restroom and past the kitchen to head back outside. My confident stride faltered when I saw Paul standing at the refrigerator grabbing another beer. He lifted his head when he heard me approaching and gave me one of those sexy as hell dimpled filled smiles.

  “Hey there you are, you okay?”

  God, he was so freaking sexy standing there with his blue polo shirt, matching his sexy as sin eyes, and dark blue jeans that weren’t tight but fit his sculpted legs masterfully. Seeing that he was oblivious to my jealousy and anger, I got mad all over again. I looked at him, rolled my eyes and kept walking.

  “Lauren?” Hearing the clueless tone in his voice only added to my ridiculous ire.

  I stopped and looked over at him. “Oh, you finally noticed I exist? Wow, thanks,” I bit out right before I slammed the screen door behind me.

  I was such a petty betty!

  23

  Paul

  I stood there frozen, my smile plastered on my now flustered face.

  What in the ever-loving fuck was that about?

  “Trouble in paradise?” I whirled around to find Melissa coming from the front of the house.

  I looked back at the backdoor fucking stunned. I pulled out another six-pack from the fridge and closed the door. “I guess so.” I turned and looked at Melissa. “Do you have any idea what that was about?”

  Melissa stepped further inside the kitchen and moved to stand next to me. “My guess would be Sabrina.”

  I shrugged. I was completely lost right now. My head was spinning as it was, I didn’t need extra shit to help it turn. “What about her?”

  “Come on, Paul. You’re not that naive. I know you noticed Sabrina trying to get your attention.”

  I ran my free hand over my head getting a bit irritated. “I mean, yeah okay so what? She’s here with her boyfriend.”

  Melissa shook her head.

  “Paul, Dominic is not her boyfriend. She probably brought him here to get you jealous or something. I’m not sure why, I told her you and Lauren were together, but the extra attention she’s giving you—the over exaggerating laughte
r and the so-called innocent touching— I guess she figured she has a chance to get you back. And don’t ask me why she thinks that. To be honest, I don’t have a clue. That girl has definitely changed over the years.”

  I shook my head and placed the six-pack on the counter next to me. I then turned to face Melissa, a frown deepening my face.

  “Melissa, we aren’t in high school. Sure, Sabrina is a bit over the top tonight, but we’re adults here. I know she knows I’m with Lauren. She can bat her eyelashes, laugh at my corny jokes, and touch my arm all night. She’s not what I want or who I want, been there done that and have no desire for a repeat performance. But Melissa, what you’re saying is ridiculous, and if I was with anyone else, I could see your point. However, this is Lauren. She knows how I feel about her. She wouldn’t let Sabrina’s childhood antics get to her. She’s not the jealous type.”

  Melissa gave me an incredulous look and shook her head. She folded her arms in front of her and leaned her hip against the counter.

  “Oh, Paul, the strongest woman can sometimes feel jealous or self-conscious. Lauren is only human, and Sabrina is really pouring it on. Also, you and Sabrina have a history together, whereas you and Lauren are just starting to make history. And to be honest, you aren’t helping matters either.”

  I narrowed my eyes on her, and felt my irritation for even having this conversation with Melissa and not Lauren, turning to anger.

  “Oh, so I’m supposed to feed into this shit? I’m sitting at the table playing cards and hanging out with my friends. How am I supposed to know what Lauren’s thinking? I’m not that good of a mind reader. I don’t have time to deal with this petty bullshit.”

  Melissa dropped her arms and gave me a pointed look, her own brown eyes darkening with irritation.

  “Okay, first of all, no one expects you to feed into anything or be a mind reader. Let me give you a visual that maybe you’ll understand a little better. When you and Lauren are here together, you two are insufferable most of the time. Even if you’re playing cards or hanging with the fellas, you two will make eye contact with each other, or we would see you sneaking off to a dark corner or our dang bathroom. Seriously, Samson is consistently yelling for you two to get a room.”