by S. K. Lessly
I paused and shifted in my seat, the memories of that night hitting me hard. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get through this story without breaking; I had to be quick. I moved my hand to my neck and rubbed the scarred skin underneath my chin.
“If he wasn’t so arrogant and ran his mouth, I probably wouldn’t be here today.”
I made eye contact with everyone in the room, besides Paul, making sure they could see the truth of my words in my eyes. Once satisfied I had their undivided attention, I breathed out before continuing.
“I used as much strength as I could to hold on to my neck as he beat me and kicked me. He left me to die, but I refused to let that happen. I wouldn’t let that son of a bitch win.”
I felt my throat began to close on me as I shared those last moments. My chest was getting tight, and I was working very hard to keep from suffocating from fear and the sheer weight of what happened to me. Tears started welling in my eyes, but again, I refused to let them fall. I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to use the pain to trick my brain not to unleash these dreadful tears. So far, it was working, but I wasn’t sure how long I would hold on.
I risked a glance in Paul’s direction and found him studying me closely, his body leaning forward, his arms resting on his thighs. His face was a mask, which I was grateful. If I saw anything else, I would’ve broken down right then and there. Somehow, he knew I needed his strength, and he was giving it to me.
“How did you get away?” someone asked in a small voice.
I looked toward the source of the voice and not sure where the question came from, but I decided to answer the room.
“By God’s grace. He went upstairs for some reason, and to this day I don’t know why he left me alone. So, I gathered as much strength as I could muster and got out of there. But do you know what’s weird? I didn’t go to a neighbor’s house for help. For the life of me, I couldn’t begin to tell you what I was thinking. There were two elderly couples on either side of me. They were always home, so I knew they would help me. I just didn’t feel safe going to them. Instead, I took to the streets, barefoot and bleeding, praying for someone to help me. However, with every step I took, I could feel my life oozing through my fingers. Hopelessness is a powerful feeling.”
I looked directly at his mom.
“And that’s when resolve and regret kicked in. I regretted not being able to tell my parents I loved them, my siblings.” I then moved my eyes to Paul. “And most of all I regretted not having the chance to tell the man I loved how much I loved him, or how much he meant to me. Unable to go on, losing the fight, I stopped walking. It was hopeless. No one was coming to save me. I was ready to give up, and that’s when I saw his face.” I jutted my chin toward Paul. “He just appeared out of nowhere. One minute I was alone the next I saw his beautiful face smiling at me with so much love in his eyes it warmed me. He told me to let go, and I listened to him and let go. I thought in that moment I was going to heaven. And that was it, but...” I wiped my face frantically when I felt the first tear fall. “But as you can see that wasn’t the end. Paul saved me. I don’t know how or why, but he was right there when I needed him, and he saved me.
“God, Mrs. Logan, I’ve learned so much from that dreadful day. I’ve realized that life is too short. You have to live every single moment God gives you. That’s my goal, to take advantage of every second of every day with the man I love. But make no mistake, this isn’t easy for me. I’m not only scared of losing him, but I’m deathly terrified. I’m terrified every day that something could happen to him but not just on the job. Something could happen to him on his way to work or on his way home. He could get killed on his way to the grocery store or even when he goes to see you. He could grow tired of me and leave me without a word or a fuck you.”
I took a much-needed breath to try and stop my body from shaking, from breaking down before I was able to say what I needed.
“Life isn’t promised to any one of us,” I told them. “I know that better than most, and so does Paul. Nevertheless, I don’t dwell on the ‘what ifs’ in life. I take full advantage of my time with him. I tell him every chance I get how much I love him, how much he means to me, and most of all how much I can’t be without him. I show him every day that I need him in my life because I don’t want him to ever think for a second that he isn’t the most important person to me.
I stiffened my back and regarded the room, gaining as much courage as I could muster.
“Whether you like it or not, your son, your brother, is a hero. He’s my hero, and countless others feel the same way. I don’t think I would be here if it weren’t for him. So, yes. I do support him. I know what kind of man I have, and I will be by his side no matter what he wants to do. Don’t you see? God is giving us a second chance, all of us. I will not waste mine.” I shook my head confidently, letting them know, letting them see how truthful my words were.
“I’m just grateful to have him in my life.” I admitted, my voice soft but firm. I took a deep breath and brought my eyes to the man I love and continued to pour my heart out in front of his family. “I'm thankful for him. Thankful that God put him in my life. He's my whole world. I pray every day that he comes home to me. I pray every day for his safety, and I thank God for every second I get to be with him.”
I looked away from him no longer able to hold his heated gaze. I could feel myself losing the battle of self-control. I wanted to cry and cry loud. I couldn’t do that here, not in front of these people. I needed to get out of here so that I could break in peace. I ran my hands through my hair and stood. I looked around the room, not giving anyone eye contact.
I announced in a low, very shaky voice, “Uh, I’m just going to go check the pies in the oven… I’ll be right back.”
I turned my back to make my escape, but the sound in Paul’s voice stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Don’t you move.”
I wouldn’t dare meet his eyes, no way. I sighed and said over my shoulder, “Paul, the pies are going to burn. Really, I’ll only be—"
“I said don’t move,” he said firmly, his voice low but full of emotions that had my heart bottoming out in my stomach. “Fuck those pies.”
I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist and that simple touch had the floodgates opening.
“Paul, please don’t,” I whispered and closed my eyes. I tried to shake off his hold on me, both physically and emotionally, but it didn’t work.
Instead, I found myself being pulled backwards towards him, too close for my fragile heart.
“Come here, baby,” he coaxed gently.
And that freaking did it. The sound of his voice, the need lacing his tone, the strength I knew was waiting for me the second his arms wrapped around my body, had me breaking.
Paul wrapped his arms around me, and I buried my face in his chest, and I cried my heart out. All the pain and fear I kept bottled inside broke at that moment. It was an ugly cry too, snot mixed with tears drenched his shirt, but he didn’t loosen his hold. My knees threatened to take me down, but Paul’s hold on me only tightened. He kissed the top of my head and whispered words only for me. “It’s okay. I’m here, baby. I’m not going anywhere. I’m never leaving you, do you hear me? Never.”
Jeez, that only made me cry more. I couldn’t take his touch or the soothing way he catered to me. I couldn’t believe I had found him, or rather he found me. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I thanked God every day for this opportunity to love Paul. I made the best of our time together so just in case God saw fit to take him home, I could say that I took full advantage of our love.
When I finally gathered myself, Paul pulled back a little and wiped my eyes with the pads of his thumbs. He placed soft kisses to my wet lips, lingering there for a few long seconds before he rested his forehead against mine.
“Fuck, I love you,” he whispered for only me to hear. His hands rubbed along my back, my waist, soothingly, lovingly and I reveled in every glorious stroke.
I clin
ched his t-shirt tight in my fist wishing that I could get closer to him, but loving the fact that our unborn child was nestled between us.
Paul lifted his head and focused his red-rimmed eyes on me. “Marry me.”
I gasped in shock, my eyes wider than my ass right now. I heard a few gasps in the room too showing me that I wasn’t the only one blown by his words. What was crazy was the unwavering, look of determination, love, and devotion in his eyes.
“Paul, we can’t—" I began, shaking my head vigorously.
“No, look at me.” Paul’s hands moved to the sides of my cheeks, caging my face in his hands. “I love you. I love you so got damn much that I can’t function without you. That’s no exaggeration. I can’t think straight. I think about you constantly. It doesn’t matter if you’re with me or not. God, you consume my heart, my soul, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You see, that’s what was missing in my life for so long, that feeling of completeness, of unconditional, unwavering love. You were what was missing. The moment I met you, I felt whole. I had no idea that it was because of you. However, being away from you for months was proof. I’m lost without you. I just knew I couldn’t go a day without seeing you, talking to you.”
“Paul, please stop,” I begged him in a raspy whisper, my heart caught in my throat. He rested his forehead against mine and shook his head.
“There’s no me without you. I need you every second of every day. I’m addicted to you. I crave your touch, your taste, your laugh, like it’s a got damn drug. And your smile, God, your smile, it fills me up. I get drunk off you. I get high just being in the same room with you. No other woman would ever take your place or could ever make me feel—”
“Yes!” I rubbed his bearded cheeks, nodding my head feverishly. If he said another word, I thought my heart would explode. I could barely breathe as it was.
Paul paused and studied my eyes. “Tell me again?” he asked, his voice hurried and anxious. I grinned up at him like a Cheshire cat. Boulder type tears fell from my half-masked eyes, but I didn’t care.
“Yes.”
Paul leaned back and studied my tear-streaked face as if he still wasn’t convinced. “Yes?”
I nodded laughing. “Yes, baby. God, of course, yes. If you’re sure. If want me, I—”
“If I want you?” he repeated cutting me off. “I want you to be my wife more than I want to breathe. You’re all mine— body, heart, mind, and soul. Fuck yes, I want you. I want you to be mine until the end of time.”
“I’m yours, always,” I whispered before I pulled his face down and kissed the ever-loving crap out of him. Our kiss was dirty, desperate, and filled with so much passion, and tenderness, I thought I was going to explode. The only thing that stopped us from tearing each other’s clothes off was the whistling noise coming from the room.
We pulled apart gasping for air, wiping our mouths, our eyes glued to each other.
“Holy shit, bro, that was both touching and disgusting at the same time.”
“Oh, Kenneth, shush,” Mrs. Logan said as she headed right for me. She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me so tight that I thought she would push the baby out. She whispered, “You make him so happy. Thank you.”
She stepped back and gave me such a genuine smile that I almost started to cry all over again.
And that was how the rest of our night went.
We healed that night. Whatever hesitation his family had about me, about us, was shattered. I knew from this day forward things would be different. Our lives, all of us would be changed for the better and I was looking forward to what the future held for this family, for our family.
The night shifted to all things wedding related, including swapping stories of wedding dos and don’ts from our past. I wasn’t sure where Paul was with everything; if he wanted a huge ceremony or just something intimate. I’ll have to make it a point to ask. Right now, I just wanted to enjoy this moment, and oh what a moment it was. Oh, by the way, my pies were ruined. With all the wedding talk, I had forgotten all about them. C'est la vie, right?
“Let Tomorrow be your second chance to prove that you are better than today and yesterday.”
32
Paul
I had finally got rid of my family and had my fiancée all to myself.
My fiancée!
I never thought I’d have one of those again, and I never thought it would bring me so much joy while saying it.
I had sent Lauren upstairs to make use of the jetted tub I had installed while I cleaned up downstairs. I knew she had been exhausted. She had been on her feet most of the day, with working earlier, going grocery shopping, and then having to entertain my family.
I didn’t have to do much in the way of cleaning. My mom and sisters did most of it whereas I snuck upstairs, to add a little romance to our bedroom while Lauren was taking a bath.
I hadn’t planned on asking Lauren to marry me so soon, nor did I plan to do it in the basement, in front of my family. I wanted to whisk her away and propose at some romantic restaurant or sexy scenic view in the city. Everything changed for me the moment she explained her last moments before I found her bleeding on the sidewalk outside her house.
We had never talked about what happened to her and to hear it was me that she thought about in her last moments, did something to me. What had me needing to make her mine right then and there was how she handled my family. How she told them exactly how she trusted me, loved me, and supported me in anything I wanted to do. I knew right then, I mean I knew before but, in that moment, it was confirmed that she was the woman for me, hands down.
Hearing her say yes, though, went right up there with me finding out she was pregnant with my baby. I didn’t know how to explain the elation I felt, how complete and fulfilled my world had become. I’ve finally found the one woman that made me desire to be a better man. I couldn’t wait to make her mine officially. I would prefer sooner rather than later, but I’ll see what she wants to do. I needed to make things official first.
I placed vanilla scented candles all over our bedroom giving the room a soft glow and sweet-smelling aroma that I knew she would love. To add to the atmosphere, I sprinkled fresh rose petals on the bed and streamed soft baby making music from the speaker next to the bed. I was just placing the massage oil on the nightstand when she emerged from the bathroom, a large towel wrapped around her body.
“Wow, what’s all this?” She surveyed the room before she brought her questioning brown eyes to me.
I didn’t answer her. Instead, I took her hands in mine and led her to the bed. Keeping my eyes on hers, I unraveled the towel from her body and dropped it on the floor. I stepped back and took in her beautiful pregnant body.
Got damn she was sexy. Her breasts grew, much to my delight, and looked heavy and full. Her stomach was round, full of our baby, something I couldn’t get used to seeing or touching. What I loved the most was how full her hips, ass, and thighs were. Good god, I loved gripping her hips as I fucked her.
I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything but how good it felt to make love to her. For some reason, her body was extra sensitive. It was as if every nerve ending in her body were like live wires, one touch and boom she’d go off like a rocket. It was definitely a boost to my manhood.
I opened my eyes, my dick hard as a brick wall, and directed her backward until the back of her knees hit the bed.
“Lay back, baby. Let me give you a massage,” I instructed unable to keep the need from my voice.
She did as she was told, smirking as she did it.
I knew I was going to torture myself, but I wanted to get her relaxed, and this was the best way to do it.
I poured a generous amount of oil into my hands and started working her thighs. I tried to concentrate on kneading the tight muscles in her legs, really, I did. But she moaned so long and so deep that fuck, I damn near came in my shorts. So, yeah. I gave up on the massage and pushed her legs apart and buried my face between her already slick folds.
“Ahhh, Paul, wait,” she cried as she tried to back away from my mouth, pushing on my head to get free from me.
I lifted up to look at her.
“What?”
She panted softly, “I thought you were giving me a massage?”
I smirked at her. “Yeah me too, until you started moaning. Shit woman, you know what you do to me? I’ll have to massage you another way.”
“Uh-huh, and what way would that be?”
The side of my mouth curled up into my cheek as I stood to my full height. I pulled off my shirt and tossed it on the floor behind me. I pulled my shorts down and kicked them away too.
“Up love,” I directed and helped her stand. I then yanked the blanket from the bed, roses, and all and directed her back on the bed, her head at the top, her legs spread just the way I liked.
“Holy shit, baby, you’re beautiful just like that… fuck you know exactly what to do to make me lose my mind.”
“Paul Joshua Logan,” she whispered so softly and so reverently that I could feel my heart swell in my chest.
“Yeah, baby,” I replied, my voice husky and just as low as hers.
I licked my lips and took in the woman that would officially be mine as soon as humanly possible.
I took my time on my woman tonight, savoring her sweet taste, claiming her pussy as mine until she was climbing up the walls, or headboard. A light sheen of sweat coated her soft skin letting me know I was working her to a frenzy.
“Please, baby, I want to come, please.”
“Yeah, baby?” I teased, two fingers moving slowly in and out of her tight channel all the while my tongue flicked her sensitive bud.
“Yes!” she screeched, her hips lifting, allowing my fingers to sink deeper inside her. “Please, Paul… please, fill me with your fat ass dick, baby and make me scream your name for the neighbors to hear.”
