Flawbulous

by Shana Burton

  Lawson shook her head. “It wasn’t easy, son, by any stretch of the imagination. You don’t remember this, but there were plenty of winter days when we were somewhere cold because I couldn’t afford to pay for heat, and more than one night that we had to eat sleep for dinner. It was a daily struggle for years. You think I want that for you and Shari or this baby?”

  “We’re not stupid, Ma. We know it’ll be hard at first, but we can do it.”

  Lawson was confounded. “How, Namon?”

  Namon shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, but Shari and I will figure it out.”

  “‘We’ll figure it out’ is not a plan! When that child is hungry or needs a doctor or day care, ‘we’ll figure it out’ can’t be your response.”

  “We plan to give this baby all the love he needs,” said Shari. “That counts for something, doesn’t it?”

  Lawson dismissed her comment. “You can’t feed and clothe a baby on love, Shari. That takes one of the many things you all don’t have, which is finances. I bet you don’t have the cost of a package of diapers between the two of you!”

  “Lawson, they’re scared enough without you being so negative,” chimed in Reginell.

  “I’m trying to get them to see reality, Reggie. This baby started costing money the second it was conceived, and they don’t even know it. You kids are living in a fantasy world. You have no idea what you’re about to face. Everything costs money—everything! The only thing free these days is salvation. You can’t even bring this child into the world without paying off the doctors and the hospital. Who’s paying for that and prenatal care? Have you gone to the doctor yet, Shari?”

  “I had a pregnancy test at the free clinic on campus, but I can get on Medicaid,” Shari answered in a quiet voice.

  Lawson sighed. “It’s not the government’s responsibility to take care of you or this child.” Lawson turned to Namon. “You don’t even have the money to pay for the vitamins the baby needs to come out healthy.”

  “Well, we were kinda thinking our families could help us out too,” admitted Namon.

  “Oh, really?” Lawson laughed. “You see that, Mark! They’re already planning to pawn this responsibility off of us! I don’t think so.”

  “Lawson, you’re not being reasonable,” said Mark. “We can’t act like we don’t know what it’s like to be in their position.” He placed a hand on Namon’s shoulder as a sign of support. “Of course we’ll help you, son.”

  Lawson fired back. “No, Mark, you mean you don’t know what it’s like to be in their position. I know exactly how it is. I was going through it alone, while you were living your carefree life in college!”

  “And we both know why that is, don’t we?” Mark’s temper flared, as evidenced by his throbbing veins. “Nobody told you to keep my son from me! That was your choice!”

  “Mark, you wouldn’t have stepped up to the plate, and you know it!” ranted Lawson. “You were in no better position to take care of our son than Namon is to take care of his child.”

  Mark frowned. “You don’t know that. And if you hadn’t been so selfish—”

  “Selfish?” Lawson interrupted and charged toward Mark, ready for a full-on verbal attack. “First of all, if you hadn’t brought your li’l nasty self to the party—”

  “Wait a minute,” protested Reginell, stepping to her sister. “You ain’t gon’ be gettin’ up in my man’s face like that, Lawson!”

  Garrett cut in and pulled his wife away. “You know what? I think we need a time-out. Let Reggie and me take the kids in the kitchen and talk with them, and we’ll let the two of you hash this out and try not to kill each other.”

  Lawson rolled her eyes and exhaled heavily.

  “Babe, you okay?” asked Garrett.

  “I’m fine,” huffed Lawson, before deep breathing to allow her anger to subside. “You’re right. Mark and I need to discuss this alone, rationally and calmly.”

  “I know that’s asking a lot of you,” grumbled Mark. Lawson and Reginell both pierced him with stinging glares. “Sorry. We’ll discuss it calmly and rationally, like you said.”

  Garrett led Namon and Shari into the kitchen.

  Reginell kissed Mark on the cheek. “Be good,” she warned him and followed behind Shari.

  “You know we can’t let this happen, don’t you?” asked Lawson once they were all out of earshot.

  “Lawson, he’s eighteen. He’s an adult. All we can do at this point is support his decisions.”

  “Are you kidding me? Being eighteen makes him an adult by law, but we both know that Namon lacks the wisdom to make adult decisions. This is the same kid who, just six months ago, couldn’t decide between Pop-Tarts or Toaster Strudels! We’re talking his future, Mark. This could affect Namon for the rest of his life. We can’t let him decide all willy-nilly without having some input.”

  “Okay, we’ll tell him where we stand, but the rest is up to him. I know you don’t like it, but those are the facts.”

  “And where do you stand, Mark?” Lawson demanded to know.

  “I agree with you. I think they’re in way over their heads, but I’m going to support whatever they decide to do.”

  “Including keeping the baby?”

  “Of course,” he replied flippantly. “Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Mark, you know they have no business having a baby.”

  “Well, I think that’s a moot point now. Shari’s pregnant.”

  Lawson looked up at him. “Being pregnant isn’t the same thing as having a baby.”

  “I’m no doctor, but isn’t that what usually happens at the end of a pregnancy?”

  Lawson began slowly pacing the floor. “Usually . . . not always.”

  Mark watched her with misgivings. “What are you getting at, Lawson?”

  She stopped. “All I’m saying is that there are options.”

  “Yes, but those are options for Shari and Namon to ponder, not us.”

  “But he listens to you, Mark,” beseeched Lawson, clinging to his arm. “If you told him that an abortion was the best thing—”

  Mark eased her aside. “Do you hear yourself, Lawson? I’m not going to tell our son to make Shari abort their baby!”

  “You don’t have to put it in those terms. Just help him to see that it’s the best thing.”

  Mark shook his head in disbelief. “You’re a piece of work, you know that?”

  “Call me what you want, but I’m trying to protect my son.”

  “From what? Accepting responsibility?”

  “From taking on more responsibility than he can handle!”

  “I think you underestimate him, Lawson. He’s smart and resourceful. Besides, Namon hasn’t done anything we didn’t do at his age.”

  “And you see how well that worked out! Namon and I struggled, living off welfare and food stamps in poverty for the first fourteen years of his life.”

  “That’s because I didn’t know he existed. I would’ve provided for you and Namon. You know that.”

  “I know you would like to think that, but, honestly, how much different would it have been if you had known, huh? You probably would’ve had to drop out of school to work, forfeiting your football scholarship and your chance to play professionally overseas. You would’ve ended up resenting him. Even though you were able to thrive professionally, look how much your relationship with him suffered. It was months before Namon could even stand to be in the same room with you.”

  “Yeah, but we got through it. He will too.”

  “Mark, Shari’s home life is a mess. Her dad’s a career criminal. Her mother is in and out of rehab when she isn’t strung out on God knows what. Her sister already has three bastard babies, and she’s only twenty-one. Her gangster brothers are following in their dad’s footsteps to the nearest prison, to boot.”

  “Yet despite all that, Shari finished high school with honors, got into college, and rose above her circumstances. From what I can see, she seems to have a good head on her
shoulders.”

  “Really? She got pregnant less than two months after being in college! Where was that good head then? I guess we know the answer to that one.”

  “I believe our son played a big role in that conception too.”

  “I’m not saying that Shari’s a hood rat or anything like that, but she does come with a lot of baggage. Do you really want to introduce all that drama into our family?”

  “We’re not exactly a picture-perfect family, either. I have slept with you and your sister and have two baby mamas. Your husband fathered another child during your marriage. Reggie was a stripper. You were a teen parent. We’re a far cry from the Huxtables!”

  “We have morals and God in our lives,” Lawson stated, reasoning with him.

  “Yet you’re asking me to tell our son to kill his unborn child. How does that fit into your morals and spirituality?”

  Lawson was silent.

  “I shouldn’t have said that,” admitted Mark. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I know I won’t earn any crowns in heaven for feeling this way, but, Mark, we’re both educators. We see firsthand every day what happens to kids born to parents who aren’t prepared to raise them. We see the cycle of poverty perpetuated generation after generation. We don’t have to guess how this’ll turn out, because we already know. I don’t want that for my son or my grandchild. Namon isn’t ready to be a father. You know he isn’t ready. Nor is Shari ready to be anybody’s mama.”

  “It’s not our call, Lawson. Believe me, I don’t like it any more than you do. I wanted more for Namon, but actions have consequences. We had to learn that the hard way. Because he didn’t listen, now he does too.”

  Lawson couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. “I wanted better for him. I didn’t want him to repeat the same mistakes we made,” wailed Lawson. “He’s my baby, Mark.”

  Mark pulled her into an embrace. “I understand. He’s my baby too.”

  Lawson sobbed softly in Mark’s arms.

  Reginell returned to the living room unnoticed and was unsettled by the sight of her sister wrapped in her new husband’s arms. “Oh, am I interrupting something?”

  Mark quickly released Lawson. “No, it’s fine. Lawson was feeling a little emotional.”

  Reginell glared at them both. “I can tell.”

  Lawson dried her eyes. “Were you and Garrett able to talk some sense into them?”

  “Garrett talked to Namon. I mostly helped Shari think of some cute baby names,” revealed Reginell. “What do you think about Amari if it’s a girl? Isn’t that adorable? Amari and Shari.”

  Lawson was stumped. “Reggie, that is not . . .” She flung her hands, frustrated. “Forget it.”

  Reginell stood next to Mark. “Lawson, this baby is coming whether you like it or not. You might as well get excited about it.”

  Mark draped his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Babe, I think acceptance is probably more realistic than excitement at this point.”

  Lawson sighed. “You’re right. Shari is pregnant, and there’s nothing we can do about it. All we can do is help them make the best decisions going forward.”

  “That’s the right attitude, and cheer up!” Mark pinched her playfully. “We’re about to be grandparents!”

  Lawson forced herself to smile. On the surface, she conceded, but in the back of her mind, she vowed that there was no way this child would ever see the light of day.

  Chapter 8

  “When it’s a true sisterhood bond like this one, nothing

  or nobody can tear it apart.”

  –Angel King

  Lawson, Reginell, and Angel gathered at Kina’s newly purchased town house a few days later to break bread and meet Kina’s ghostwriter.

  “That was Desdemona on the phone,” Kina informed them. “She got held up, but she’s on the way. She said we can start dinner without her.”

  Reginell rubbed her stomach. “Good, because I’m beyond hungry! My appetite has crossed over into famished.”

  “Kina, everything looks so . . . healthy!” remarked Angel, surprised, surveying the health-conscious dinner spread following the grace. “There’s not a piece of lard or fatback in sight!”

  “And there won’t be!” Kina assured her, setting a spinach salad on the table. “My porker days are behind me. Mostly salads and grilled fish from here on out.”

  “Well, that certainly beats bottles and bibs from here on out,” Lawson deadpanned, helping herself to a serving of sautéed vegetables.

  “I still can’t believe Namon is going to be a daddy!” exclaimed Angel. “He’s still that kid riding around with training wheels to me. It’s hard to picture him with a child of his own.”

  “I can’t picture it!” retorted Lawson. “Plus, he has no idea how they’re going to take care of this child. All he does is insist that he and Shari love each other and that everything is going to somehow magically work out.”

  “And it will. Lawson, I told you that you worry too much,” asserted Reginell.

  “Spoken like someone who’s never had children to worry about!” replied Lawson. “Until you do, you can’t possibly understand what it’s like to watch your child make a mess of his life and opportunities.”

  “Namon having a child is not the absolute worst thing in the world, Lawson,” said Kina. “You and I both had our kids young, and we survived. Yeah, it’s disappointing that it’s happening this way, but think of the blessing in all this.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Lawson gave her the side eye. “And what is that?”

  “You’ll have a new person to control,” said Reginell. “And Mark and I will have a new grandbaby to spoil rotten, at least till we have our own baby.”

  “Try making it down the aisle first,” cautioned Lawson.

  Reginell smiled smugly, knowing she already had.

  “However, the bottles and bibs I was referring to are Simon’s, not Namon’s. As if there’s not enough going on right now, Simone called last night with a little surprise of her own,” hedged Lawson.

  Angel made a wry face. “Oh, no! She’s not pregnant again, is she?”

  Lawson shook her head. “No, nothing like that, at least not by my husband again! Apparently, she landed some big interior design contract for a swanky new hotel in New York.”

  Angel stacked her plate with vegetables. “Is she moving and taking Simon with her?”

  “The move is temporary, a few months, tops,” Lawson informed them. “She wanted to take Simon with her, but you know Garrett. He can’t be away from his son that long, and he wasn’t comfortable with the idea of Simon being in a strange place with new caretakers. So guess who’ll be a full-time stepmom for the foreseeable future?”

  Kina filled everyone’s glass with tea. “I don’t think it’ll be that bad, Lawson.”

  “No, I’m actually looking forward to it. Simon is a good baby, especially now that he’s walking and is potty training. It’s nice having him around now that Garrett and I are empty nesters.”

  “See? You didn’t think you’d be able to accept Garrett’s on-a-break baby, but you did. It can be that way with your grandchild,” pointed out Angel.

  “Even more so because your husband didn’t have to bang another woman to get that baby!” added Reginell.

  Lawson pricked Reginell with an icy gaze. “Thanks for bringing that up, Reggie.”

  Angel giggled. “That kind of shade throwing is usually reserved for Sullivan.”

  “It would be nice to have Sully around to get her take on all this,” said Lawson wistfully. “She doesn’t dish out the soundest advice, but it’s always amusing. Lord knows I could use her sense of humor right now. I’d give about anything to see her strutting in thirty minutes late.”

  “Sullivan is going to pull through this,” upheld Angel. “And she’ll be as crazy and as feisty and as fashionably late as ever!”

  Lawson nodded. “From your lips to God’s ear.”

  “Was there any change when you visited h
er at the hospital yesterday?” asked Kina.

  Lawson shook her head. “She’s still just lying there.”

  “I talk to her. I keep telling her how much we love her and how much Charles and the children need her. A lot of patients who were comatose say they could hear. Hearing is actually the last sense to go when a person is dying.” Angel caught herself. “Not that I’m suggesting she’s dying. I’m positive she’s going to come back to us . . . she has to.”

  Reginell sighed. “I know I’m not Sully’s biggest fan, but I wouldn’t wish what she’s going through on anyone. Mark and I have earnestly been praying for her full recovery. Her baby’s too.”

  “Thanks, Reggie. That’s sweet. You and Sully fight like rival gangs, but I know deep down—like, two thousand leagues under the sea deep—the two of you really love each other.” Lawson patted her sister’s hand. “If I live to see the day that the two of you stop cutting each other down, I’ll know that miracles can truly happen every day.”

  Angel laughed. “That would be almost as big a miracle as the one-hundred-eighty-degree turn Vera has made. Can you believe Sullivan’s mother has been acting so—dare I say it?—civilized and concerned?”

  Lawson nodded. “Despite their combative history, I think Vera loves Sullivan. As much as she has the capacity to love, anyway.”

  “I don’t know if you can call allowing men to molest your daughter love, but she’s been here helping Charles with Charity. Charles won’t allow Vera to take Charity home, of course, but she’s still been here with her granddaughter every day,” noted Angel.

  “I’m glad Vera is making herself useful,” said Kina.

  Reginell switched gears. “Kina, what’s up with this writer you wanted us to meet today?”

  Angel looked around the room. “And where is she? What kind of guest of honor is late for her own celebration?”

  “You mean the author my editor has saddled me with!” Kina snarled. “But I have to admit, she’s not as bad as I thought she’d be. She has been open to my suggestions about the book and has been good about running her ideas by me before typing anything up. She hangs around but doesn’t crowd me. She’s definitely a breath of fresh air compared to my editor, I’ll tell you that!”